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Black women marry interracially because they are ugly?

Posted by Ria, 18 Feb

"Look at her. She looks like a man. Of course she married a white boy”

“Horse Face! Nobody wants you, you ugly dark-skinned b**ch!!"

These people are real comments that our very own Christelyn Karazin highlighted in her article: My True Confession: I Advocate Swirling Because I Was the Black Man’s Cast Off. These are comments made by black men.

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Her whole life, Christelyn has been called ugly. And when she spoke openly about it in a YouTube video, saying she "really didn't embrace [her] beauty until it was validated from external forces", she stepped on some black man's toes who calls himself called Sergeant Willie Pete. "... in the Sergeant’s mind, my 'swirling advocacy' is an 'ugly girl’s argument.' I only swirled in the first place because no black man was checking for me... too dark to be the prize," she says

And Christelyn agrees saying "He's Right!"

Funny enough, after marrying a white man, quite a number of black men (and to her surprise, black women too) say they look at her and get why she advocates swirling. I am thinking, do black women who date out have some "swirl face"? Is swirling for a black woman automatically saying "too ugly for a brotha"?

So if dark skinned women are too ugly, why are they dubbed "sell-outs" when they date out... when they date men who respect, love and find them beautiful? Its like these people are trying to say: 'Since you ugly women aren't good enough for us, sit and wallow in self pity and loneliness forever. You don't deserve no man. And when a man from a different race says they find you attractive, dont date them. You are ugly no matter what they tell you. Dating them is a crime.'

Well, here is why Christelyn advocates swirling:

"BECAUSE I DON’T WANT WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE ME TO FEEL LIKE THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED, MARRIED* AND RESPECTED. (*If they so choose)"

And she has a very great message for black women who choose to swirl:

You are not wrong to flee those who hate you and gravitate to social circles in which you are accepted and celebrated. It is not a sin to love those who love and respect you.

WORD!!!!

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109 responses to "Black women marry interracially because they are ugly?"

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  1.   kirauni says:
    Posted: 25 May 14

    We are created in Gods image...fearfully and wonderfully made.....

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  2.   NikkiRox says:
    Posted: 20 May 14

    I didn't know Christelyn had experienced this and it is sad to say the least. I hope no one else takes from this that All Black Men feel this way however, they do not. There is someone I believe for everyone. I am waiting for my guy to come into my life whether he be Black, White, Asian etc... Christelyn and I may not always see eye to eye on certain subjects but one thing is she is not Ugly. I hope everyone finds their true love in whatever color they come in and leave the idiots to their own devices.

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  3.   Eam60 says:
    Posted: 19 May 14

    We need to stay focus and keep in mind we all come from the same "GENE POOL", regardless of what we we told as children or what we have learned as adults. The reality of this "Interracial issue, this "Black White issue" is at the end of the day, when an "ASTEROID" hit the Planet Earth , it does not have EYE BALLS and it will not not give a "RATS BEHIND" what color you and where you came from.

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  4.   Giona says:
    Posted: 17 May 14

    Christlyn you found your soul mate who was white thats all.He appreciated you for who you are and looked beyond physical appearance.I have come to realize that a lot of guys are all about the physical appearance of a woman for example as soon as a guy meets me the first thing he is talking about is my physical appearance which i think is sad.There is always more to a person than their physical appearance.Inner beauty is much more important than the outer.That is why e have so much separation and divorce in society because we seem to always loose track of whats important and focus on whats not.

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  5.   areeba45 says:
    Posted: 16 May 14

    Most white men will only get with some black women who are skinny and look like tyra banks..they very rarely date full figured black women

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    • cakelady1 says:
      Posted: 21 May 14

      Areeba, I am plus size (size 18) and met my fiancée online a plus size website to be exact; because I love the way I look and wanted someone who felt the same way. I met him 3 years ago and his friends absolutely love plus size women and are constantly begging me to help them find plus size women. The women they met had apprehension because they do. I know society tells us that they want skinny women and that couldn't be farther from the true.

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    • cynde says:
      Posted: 27 May 14

      I will agree with your comment. I have a friend on this site that wasactually told that by a white guy that She was not his type because She was out of shape and he trend to date skinny black girl who has nice brown to light skin. And she is not heavy at all. I would not consider a size 10 fat. And she has nice curves.

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    • Stara1983 says:
      Posted: 02 Jun 14

      Hmm...not true! I'm not skinny stick thin...(I'm slim with curves) and I'm in the middle colour wise (not very dark or light). I've always dated outside the black community just out of preference...but still open to whoever. I have friends who also date outside the community and they are big and some are dark. Some white men even like women with natural hair...I think the comment you've made isn't accurate at all...

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    • blue_encore says:
      Posted: 18 Jun 14

      Well that is definitely not true. I myself am a full-figured woman and I have dated a few white men and even married a German man. And to note, all of the white men that I dated were athletic built and they loved my curves. So not all white men want a Kate Moss, Tyra Banks or skinny supermodel type. You just have to find the right one that's all.

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  6.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 14 May 14

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You are beautiful the way you are because you are God's creation and please ladies do not ever ever accept to belittled and referred to as ugly. I am black, beautiful and proud of myself....As for the article, everyone is entitled to their own opinion

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  7.   grace1992 says:
    Posted: 14 May 14

    i am in total agreement with coco...and total disagreement with this article... its very sad to see that so many of you beautiful women hold these ideas in regards to beauty...no one is made is look like anyone else, your kinks and quirks are what makes you 'you', and THAT makes you beautiful.

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    • cynde says:
      Posted: 27 May 14

      No disrespect.. But you are not dark skinned. And you probably have never had a guy tell you that your not his type because you are too dark... And my friend doesnot say these aweful things to herself , it's what been said to her by some guys. Black and white. Some people are very vain, and we can play nice and tell ourselves all day long that been a dark skinned female is sometimes considered not pretty. Remember school daze : nothing has changed.

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      • onefinegem40 says:
        Posted: 31 May 14

        I have to agree with you 100%. I attended an HBCU about 25 years ago. I was told on at least 2 occasions that I was too dark. Unfortunately it continues to happen.

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  8.   ivy940 says:
    Posted: 14 May 14

    Ladies remember the ols saying ooh i,d die 2 b like her.. well someone did die for ur beauty.....GOD. he died for U so never let anyone say any one is ugly, were all made in gods image...

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  9.   CoCo. says:
    Posted: 13 May 14

    I'm a young black female and I've never had the feeling of being anything less than beautiful. I'm saddened by the comments I've read below and i'm sad for the experiences that Christelyn - and apparently so many other women of color- has had to go through.

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  10.   Walligator says:
    Posted: 13 May 14

    The person who said that has a deep seated insecurity and self hatred for themselves....so they lash out at others.

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  11.   Momba says:
    Posted: 10 May 14

    The only time that I heard someone say that a black woman looked like a man was when a white person said it.

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    • TightIce says:
      Posted: 23 May 14

      Actually, I've never heard a white man talk like that. I'm from West Africa and the white people I have befriended are mostly European and I have to admit Europeans love Africans way more than Americans do in general. You will not see many single African women in Europe because there is no ghetto or welfare stigmatism or hidden racist remnants from their bitter past that media used to subliminally make one group of women look undesirable. The only people I see bashing black women today and attacking them mentally are African American men on you tube. I guess bullying black women is the new trend for "some (not all)" black guys in America. So sad!

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  12.   Juiceydame says:
    Posted: 09 May 14

    Wow, many years ago I was standing outside a cafe waiting for a family member looking good, When a black BSO walks by takes a look at me and say's I hate black B's like that as he and a white female officer walked by me. To say the least I was shocked and floored by his comment. I find a lot of black men who date outside there race put black women down saying horrible things such as we're fat ,lazy, ugly, we can't cook and I'm like um didn't a black woman give birth to you probably raised you by herself, clothed you ,cook for you and bent over backwards to put you through college not only give you everything you wanted or worked hard trying too .And you say such hurtful and negative things about black women in my opinion we are the strongest women in the world who have overcome and sacrificed a hell of a lot through out the years.So to my red bone, brown skin, mocha and dark chocolate sister's skinny , thick, or full figured out there know that you are Beautiful in every way and don't forget it.

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    • Eam60 says:
      Posted: 19 May 14

      I hate cooking. Do what I did...teach the men how to cook. I only cooked for my children when they were growing. The kitchen as for as I am concerned is for both the man and the woman. I refuse to be a "cook slave".

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    • brianna920 says:
      Posted: 24 May 14

      Yea we don't have the beat men. Oh well, let the less fortunate have them. Jk everyone lol

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  13.   LabinaLove says:
    Posted: 07 May 14

    This is not only a black thing. It bothers me that whenever it comes to black people especially dark skinned women everything is blown out of proportion! You can find such story in any race and culture! I have heard over and over many women and many men, who have been called names and treated badly by their partners of the same race. It also shows that Christelyn Karazin issues are deeper than we know or can relate to. Everything has to do with her upbringing, family friends etc. If you have parents who love you and tell you that you are beautiful and that you can become whosoever you want to be in life, it can strengthen you and boost your confident. It will also make you stronger. Self-pety is not the solution. Confident is, boldness is, hard work is and if you believe in something that is higher and greater than yourself that can also give you strenght and hope. I am a christian and I believe in Jesus Christ and he is my strenght. Some people don´t believe in anything at all, but they have the confident and they work hard and they don´t give up on life because of what others say. What I have also realize is that, people who are quick to mock others to make themselves feel better they are often very weak, fragile and insecure. You shouldn´t let anyone tell you who you are, but in stead you should tell people who you are what you are made of. I AM AN AFRICAN. LIBERIAN AND DANISH. I AM BROWN SKIN, BEAUTIFUL, SMART, AMBITIOUS, TALENTED AND GOD FEARING GOOD HEARTED GIRL. I DON´T NEED BLACK OR WHITE MEN TO VALIDATE ME. I KNOW MY IDENTIYY. I KNOW WHERE I AM FROM AND I KNOW WHERE I AM GOING. Women should fight harder. Some people give up too easily and let others define them.

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    • cynde says:
      Posted: 27 May 14

      Wow . Why are the Black women pretending like this does-not happen ! I think this article has nothing to do with her needing someone to validate her or even herself esteem. As women we face many challenges and disappointments in all lives and this is one that I am sure she has faced many times and I think she was bringing this fact out in the article. Like I said earlier my friend is dark skinned and she has also heard a lot of the same comments by both race. We really need to stop pretending and fooling ourself.

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  14.   Quantumesque says:
    Posted: 07 May 14

    Very sorry to read this. All I can say is that I'm a White guy that LOVES dark complexions. Sad to think that just a few shades "too dark" would nullify someones attractiveness in the eyes of someone else. I would hate to have people not like me because I'm pale and pasty. I know its easy for me to say, but just try to stay strong and ignore all the jerks.

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    • panda3899 says:
      Posted: 09 May 14

      It's guys like you the world needs plenty of. I agree with you every single bit. Don't allow people to chastise you because of your origin or the colour of your skin. At the end of the day, no one else but you and your significant other is sharing the relationship...best part is, you know it's true love

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    • mahilet says:
      Posted: 19 May 14

      right

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  15.   Gafine says:
    Posted: 06 May 14

    I don't feel that I'm ugly at all, I just would'nt let color stop me From being loved.

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  16.   cakelady1 says:
    Posted: 05 May 14

    I know it must have been painful for her and I have seen a version of this article on her website and everyone commented for a couple of days and expressed how they felt about what was said to her. If you are reposting expecting the same amount of responses this environment does not feed on negativity. We will comment and show compassion but we see beyond what was said to her. We focus on how it has affected her because she still feel the need to allow you to post it on this website. Just the ideal that it is reposted say a lot about how it has affected her. We don't hate black men, black women or anyone for that matter we just have learned that things will be said and not internalize what small minded people say.

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  17.   SurpriseMEE says:
    Posted: 05 May 14

    Noooooo, Christelyn Karazin, he is NOT right! You are so beautiful. As a white woman who has struggled with weight in the past, I, too heard those mean comments. Spike Lee supposedly said "White women who date black men are ugly-mugglies" or something insane and derogatory like that, and unfortunately for a long time, I believed comments that were similar. But today I realize that it is yet another way men (people, but often white and black men) attempt to control women. Even when they don't want us, they don't want others to want us. It stems from their insecurity, and it is a sexist, racist mentality. Please see how beautiful you are and be with someone who loves you, not because you don't believe anyone else will want you, or because they love you because of (or in spite of) your light or dark skin or ethnicity.

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  18.   pete491 says:
    Posted: 04 May 14

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder , one person may find someone attractive yet another person may find the same someone unattractive , nobody is ugly and the colour of your skin shouldn't come into it , this article achieved what the author intended ! Attention !

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  19.   Mat75 says:
    Posted: 03 May 14

    This artical is extremely rascist. I cant believe this is being promoted on this site. Wow complete trash. How offensive this is towards black women and white men!

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    • SurpriseMEE says:
      Posted: 05 May 14

      I think it is sad when women (or men) believe that they aren't attractive enough or light (or dark) skinned enough to attract someone special. And I agree that it is offensive to white men and black women who fall in love because they find someone who is perfect for them, someone they respect and admire and find intelligent and kind AND BEAUTIFUL physically.

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  20.   yetunde000 says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 14

    WORD!!!

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  21.   wright4393 says:
    Posted: 29 Apr 14

    Black women are beautiful all woman are beautiful because as Robin Roberts say everybody has something.

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  22.   Caspino says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 14

    I really love Black Women more than everything!

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  23.   Bama98 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 14

    Some black men need to be ashamed of themselves. We as black women already have to go through enough not to be put down by a black man. Respect us!!! You dnt see us going around putting yall down cause all yall interested in white women. Black women rocks!!!

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    • SurpriseMEE says:
      Posted: 05 May 14

      When a black man has told me he ONLY dates white women or doesn't find black women attractive, I run. I do date interacially, and I have dated black men more often, but I prefer to date someone who is open to dating someone because they have things in common, not because they have a certain complexion,, and def not because they believe a white woman has certain characteristics or qualities a black woman doesn't. I find that extremely offensive, and insane. When a black man has spoken negatively about why he doesn't date black women because.....(whatever silly stereotype) I often laugh because they're often the same qualities I have! (ie Black women are too bossy, don't do this, expect a man to do this, only want men who are this...) uh, yeah...me, too! The funny thing is, they're usually the qualities I LOVE in other women that makes them strong. And I HATE when people assume all white women are this and do that for their men...look, we're people. I get so tired of these comments. Oh, and since I'm on a roll...I think when men say these negative comments to a woman (well, I date white women because...and you black women don't...) it is yet ANOTHER sexist ploy to divide us and as women we need to stick together and be supportive of each other. And when we find love, let other women know why the man is so special and how to find (and keep) one so that women will be less likely to allow men to continue doing the things they often get away with.

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      • sallikamau says:
        Posted: 09 May 14

        Well Said SurpriseMEE. That was beautiful. and very very very true. Sister to Sister babe. Much love to you!

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      • MizzNetti says:
        Posted: 15 May 14

        You are so right Surprisemee. I ran into my best friend's ex a while back. He is black and she is white. I have never liked him because he would say negative things about black women to my bf. He was adamant about never dating a black woman. Yet, when I ran into him, he informed me that he was married to a black woman. I happen to know the woman he married. She once dated my cousin. She is/was ghetto and messy as heck. I questioned this contradiction. He said, "You know how you women tell us our penis is the best or the largest you've ever had knowing it's not true? Why do women do that? To make us feel good and secure in the relationship, right? So, that's what I did." I won't bother telling you what my response was. However, I don't doubt that many black men do it for the same reason. There are some that truly feel incompatible with black women. That's their preference and perhaps internal unresolved issues. What amazes me, I have yet to meet a white woman who didn't want the same thing I wanted in a man. That's why I take that black women are this or that as B.S. If women allow men to pick us up and put them down; put us down and pick them up; then we all are divided giving the power of validation (once again) to men. PLEEEEEZE!!!! Women, let no man validate you.

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      • loves2create says:
        Posted: 20 May 14

        Yes , well said indeed . Women need to stick together, thereby not affording ignorant jerks the opportunity to say and do such things as the above mentioned to the sisterhood.

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      • NikkiRox says:
        Posted: 20 May 14

        AMEN!! Wow I think this is the first time I have ever heard (well read in this case) from a White Woman who is willing to stand up for Black Women so to speak. I hate when Men regardless of race say they don't date women of their own race because of some stupid stereotype that is not true of all women of that race. To me that speaks of a man unwilling to truly find value. You have to search to find a diamond and she can come in any color. SurpriseMEE I hope you tell your other White Female Friends to do the same.

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      • PrettyMiz says:
        Posted: 25 May 14

        Girl, you said it... it's freaking uncomfortable hearing a man of any race pull down women, of any race, thinking it's a compliment to you... it's not cool.. yes we all have our preferences...however vain some maybe... but damn don't make it seem that something is wrong with the other person because there are not what you prefer... people personality trumps those things we had no control over like our race, skin tone, height etc

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      • Christy234 says:
        Posted: 28 Jul 14

        I like you! Right on.

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  24.   COFFEE222 says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 14

    It is indeed sad that in 2014, skin color is still an issue. I think before we dismiss the author’s view points, let us take a step back and acknowledge the fact that …. This is her story! This is her personal experience. It breaks my heart to know that a fellow human being was forced to feel less of a human being. We do not choose the bodies in which we are born into. Black or White everyone is wonderfully and beautifully made. I am a dark skinned lady and Yes!!! I am attracted to white men and I have nothing against black men. I seldom get pursued by black men and it doesn’t bother me….. to each is his own. To all my dark skinned sisters……you are beautiful just the way you are! Embrace your outer and inner beauty! Don't let anyone define your self worth…. I am a tall, slim, black beauty! This is the body I was born into, I was born and raised in Africa, put myself though graduate school and I will not let anyone define my happiness or worth.

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    • Alchemy73 says:
      Posted: 29 Apr 14

      Amen! It's sad how some men will put you down because of THEIR own insecurity and issues! And that's in general. But then, the same man would be mad because you held your head high, embraced your inner and outer beauty and kept on stepping...with someone else!! How dare some (NOT all!) AA men try and make us beautiful Black women feel less than because we're Dark and Lovely, yet expect us to stay suppressed by rules we didn't create! Like we are supposed to wait for them to get their act together or teach them how to treat a lady right! And also have a double standard where they can go and be with any kind of woman they want! Notice that I didn't make a blanket statement. Not all AA men are the same. But sadly, I can identify with being put down more by far by AA men than any other kind. Some of that was because I am intelligent, articulate and viewed as a 'sell out' because I won't act hood for ANY man! A lot of my interests don't seem to be in things that interest a lot of AA men anyway, from what I can tell. But no matter what kind of man you are, if you're intimidated by a strong, intelligent Black woman, it's your loss! We are a beautiful spectrum, and there's no need to qualify our beauty, regardless of where you fall in that 'rainbow'! I know I have a LOT to give the right man. It just so happens that I'm attracted most to European/Latin/Jewish types. I have a slogan - no one will ever tell me who to date, sex, or marry! Live and let live, with no limits, and live free or die! Do you, because we're damn sure going to do the same! Namaste.

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    • illbwhiteblk says:
      Posted: 30 Apr 14

      God made us all equal but all different as a Christian white man I think all women have beauty to many look to the outside ,society is a big reality show that needs Jesus Christ to change their lives from within instead of putting down and stereo typing people we need to love one another ...A time will come and Gods judgement will prevail ....The question is are you ready? I think color is beautiful ,when God made us He was creative like a custom paint shop the painters artistic finish was beautiful colors and each color is special....So all you haters get a life in Christ and remember its not what goes in our mouth that makes us veil or unclean but what comes out of our mouths learn 1Cor. 13 And one last thing to all you lovely ladies of color keep your heads up and don't let the enemy of this world condemn you...1 PETER 5:7 God bless , John

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    • SurpriseMEE says:
      Posted: 05 May 14

      What a lovely comment...thank you!

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  25.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 14

    The silliest thing about this article is that it is the furthest thing from the truth! I am 5'9" and 152 lbs with a pear/spoon shape and it seems as if every bw/wm couple I ever see is a sexy white guy with a slim fit sister like myself. The article is utterly fraudulent because it suggests that white men will settle for any woman that no Negro wants. The truth is that black men are the ones who prey on fat unattractive women so they can get free meals, free shelter and free sex without having to court women. When bm/ww go out white women often pay the bills because if a woman dares to ask a Negro for as much as a dollar, she unjustly earns the title of a GOLDDIGGER (a term Negros made up so they can get a way with being frugal bums) lol. Black men are the makers of most of the bastards in America and they were the ones who slept with and empregnated the poor ghetto women who were uneducated, on welfare, unemployed and unrefined. Sad to say many of these men even sleep with each other so....Who on earth are the desperate ones that will ram anything with a pulse? I'd say the American Negro. White men on the other hand are very selective. They go to college and get their lives together so that they can be leaders of their households. I never met a white man that married a woman with many kids who was on welfare. It just does not happen. Whether Asian, Latina, or African, white men always seek out the best bachelorettes for marriage while Negros shun marriage altogether. The last time I checked, we have a president whose black father abandoned his white mother right after he got his Greencard and only heaven knows how many white women share similar stories. This topic is very salient to me because I mentor young African American girls and I pray that the devil and all of his lies will cease so these young women get a fair chance at love without being knocked up by men who deliberately seek to destroy their lives by making them single mothers. I will spread this article to as many young girls as I can so they can be aware of how black men really see them.

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  26.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 14

    This article might possibly be the most atrocious thing I've ever read in my life! For starters I'm not surprised that the American Negro would go out of his way to bash black women. I'm sad to say Black American men are the most two faced creatures alive! When they are around black men/women they call white men the blue eyed devil, evil weak, inferior, jealous, etc... but then when they find white women who are gullible/horny enough to sit there and listen to their hogwash, they begin to bash black women and call us ugly, negative, and any other acerbic slurs that leak from their loose lips. There is no other man on earth that makes more bastards and single mothers, commits more crimes and makes more excuses for their failures. In every other culture in the world men love, cherish and PROTECT their women. Even white men who white women openly denounce by saying black men are better in bed, or that they're weak or boring, they will never feed their women to wolves or throw them under the bus the way Negros do with such pleasure. Instead they take the high road and find a beautiful Asian Latina or Black women who will love to have them. They never say a negative word about white women because they know what every REAL man alive knows "only cowards or gay men bicker with women." Obviously the enclave of down-low, homo-thugging, misogynistic Negros that defame their own mothers did not get the memo. And whether they ever get it or not is irrelevant, the truth is: beautiful, loyal, fit, educated, successful, chocolate women like my self are honored that handsome, educated, loving, RESPONSIBLE, trustworthy Vanilla guys are looking for us. And there is nothing the haters can do but B*&^*h moan and keep on guzzling the Hatorade. When the black women educates herself and escapes from poverty she will need a REAL man and the truth is...Vanilla men are clearly the best in every category!

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    • SurpriseMEE says:
      Posted: 05 May 14

      Your comment really saddens me. I feel so frustrated when I hear that someone holds such negativity and hostility in their hearts toward others. The fact that you mentor young girls is beautiful, but please, I pray that you will focus on teaching them self-respect, confidence, and love and compassion rather than what you have shared here. I agree with you that this article is upsetting. I think black women (white women, asian women, etc) often do not realize how beautiful they are, but to spout such harsh, mean, racist comments about black men, white women, etc, is pretty cruel and unfair. Even if a woman (white or of any ethnicity) is overweight, or what you consider "ugly" how does that affect your life? Have you ever struggled with wishing your body was smaller, larger, taller...or that you were prettier, etc? Most women are not models, yet we are all beautiful. And I think men of any race who are the type of men you describe (and white, AND black men are not always perfect!) are pretty awful, but ALL black men are not like this!! And white men are not superior in every category. Some white men are wonderful, but some also exhibit the same behaviors you accuse all black men of. I pray that the pain and anger you feel towards others, which I'm assuming comes from some really horrible experiences from people who have treated you pretty badly, is lifted and you can find love and compassion in your heart even for those who are like this. I'm truly sorry you have had to endure this type of treatment from men. But just know they are not all like this.

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      • cocorose88 says:
        Posted: 21 May 14

        First of all, I'm surprised that you have the unmitigated gall to comment on a post that I made especially when you will never have to deal with a fraction of the tumult that a woman of color will have to go through in her life. You can pull any comment out of oblivion but if you can't empathize with a person and their struggles you have no right to pass judgement. You will never know what it is like to be a chocolate skinned, fit, educated successful woman and still be considered to be less than everyone else just because of societal standards that place white women on at an apex simply because of their hue. What I wrote was my opinion and frankly I've been all around the world and have met men from all nationalities and one major fact is that when men date outside of their race they treat the opposite race much better that they would have treated their own. So, when you speak of these fantastic black men who are not that bad...know that that is how they act when they are with white women! NOT ALL OF THE TIME! Please do not talk about the girls that I mentor because my nonprofit covers personal development in all areas of life including but not limited to physical fitness, GED prep and college readiness, meditation, self esteem building and so many elements of life that young poor girls without fathers do not have access to. I know you've used the whole "we're all sisters" line, but the fact is that you will NEVER know what it is like to be an AfroLatina woman in America and desiring black men sexually does not qualify you one bit. If you knew me you would know that I epitomize compassion yet I have never been the type to call a chicken an elephant! I would live to delve into the sociological catalysts that caused this conundrum within the African American community but this is not the time or place so please do not attempt to psychoanalyze someone that you could learn a thing or two from.

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      • TightIce says:
        Posted: 23 May 14

        I never understood how a woman could comfortably go around life with such a benighted sense of entitlement. What Cocorose said was her opinion and it was obviously not fabricated just for kicks. When I was back home in Africa, I never dreamt that there was a place where black men did not adore their women and defend them with their lives...until I got my F1 Visa to study Engineering in NYU! What I see as a dark skinned lady in America is truly heartbreaking because I know that I am smart loving and beautiful but I've never seen a country that deliberately places more emphasis on promoting one group of women over the other. You can't speak of issues that black women go through because you will never understand them. And if you happen to mother a black baby girl one day, you might feel her pain about certain issues as not being able to wear her own God given hair naturally with out being ridiculed and labeled as militant by mainstream America. This is one of the many issues that dark skinned ladies have to go through every single day in this country, so if they sound a little hurt or broken in spirit about the perdition that they have to go through daily, the nicest thing you can do is keep your condescending comments to yourself. You will never in your life understand the pain that the average black lady has to suffer through. Sorry to say sleeping with black men does not give you the cart blanche to speak on black women's struggles. Please show respect because I would never jump into a discourse about issues that are exclusive to Caucasian women just because white guys love me.

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    • Shotgun007 says:
      Posted: 16 Jun 14

      Cocorose88, I appreciate that you have the guts to say what a lot of others are thinking. I can go on Youtube and see nothing but despicable black guys posting DEPLORABLE videos about shaming brown women. And unfortunately they are engaging in pillowtalk with beige females who are (if you can believe this) actually joining in on their nonsense against black women. It is a sickness until death, I'll say it until the cows come home. Horrible, youtube I sometimes wish did not exist for all of the negativity displayed on it. It's like a platform for Foolishness and hate.

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  27.   LadyMocha806 says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 14

    It's kind of sad that we're having this conversation. Her experience was her experience, and she's not alone from what I've heard. But there are plenty of women who date whom they please because they want to. We have choices, and we choose based on what we like, how we're treated. Shame on anyone who calls any woman a name that makes her feel "less than".

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  28.   w405409 says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 14

    Poor-Pride is in the mind of anyone who looks at the skin of anyone black or whtie and determine their ability to have a true loving relationship with anyone they choose.

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  29.   Venice18 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 14

    Am I the only one who is not VIP sigh I felmek so ked out but this a great site keep it up and while am not dark dark I am still proud of my ethnicity am black and an proud my ancestors went through hell so that I can be free do I wont deny them

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  30.   Golfpro10 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 14

    Happify, I am white man that has played sports all of my life at the highest level. I have played against the so called wanta be brothas that live their lives through the brothas that they wish they could be like. They talk the talk but have no idea what it really takes to get to that level. Every man I judged by his heart, not the pigment of his skin. Those of us that have played beyond the playground know that it is the soul of every man that matter, not his color, not his sexual preference, every man bleeds the same color. We are all the same but yet different, that's what makes each of us different. Every woman is perfect, she is how God intended her to be. She is perfect in every way and has a true partner in this life. Man is not judged nor is woman, by the color of our skin, we are measured by are heart, soul, and the up bring of our parents that truly determines the person. Brothas that hate on a woman that what's more than a man that lives his life through the eyes of a professional athlete, and thinks that he is entitled to the same respect because he has the same color skin, desever the woman that buys into that logic.

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  31.   yesnomaybeso says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 14

    Maybe I've just been living in blissful ignorance... but I think a lot of ridiculous stereotypes are perpetuated by black women themselves. Honestly, I've never heard of some of these crazy ideas until I read articles like this. (Another case in point, this stupid saying "Black women DO work out"... um, who the heck ever said we didn't? Stop speaking these ignorant ideas into existence and attributing such negative ideas about our race as a whole just because of your own limited experiences.

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    • lorac says:
      Posted: 15 Apr 14

      I so agree with you! I did not know such nonsense existed until I read this article. Not a fan of this article at all!!!

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      • NikkiRox says:
        Posted: 20 May 14

        Good Grief you both act as if, You didn't experience it yourself that means no one has. Really? Just because you didn't experience something yourself doesn't negate the experiences of others. Stereotypes do exist and there are some Black Men that feel the way that was expressed in this article. I have never had this experience either but to say it is ridiculous because you have never heard of it is also beyond ridiculous.

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  32.   yesnomaybeso says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 14

    Maybe I've just living in blissful ignorance... but I think a lot of ridiculous stereotypes are perpetuated by black women themselves. Honestly, I've never heard of some of these crazy ideas until I read articles like this. (Another case in point, this stupid saying "Black women DO work out"... um, who the heck ever said we didn't? Stop speaking these ignorant ideas into existence and attributing such negative ideas about our race as a whole just because of your own limited experiences.

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  33.   JULIANAVG says:
    Posted: 13 Apr 14

    Mau gosto!!!

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  34.   onetreehill says:
    Posted: 13 Apr 14

    I am not in favor of this article! Please don't give others ideas about black women. This article is in poor taste.

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  35.   Happify says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 14

    Let us be totally honest the black man for a great number of years felt very powerful. He was under the impression that every woman of every race wanted him sexually and he had his pick. But with the increasing interest of black women seeking men of other races that suggest he may be losing that title. And I seriously hate to say it but HE has little other to claim superiority over other than sports. He feels he is loosing control. When the one who feels powerful starts to loose that power then words of hate are use in order to return the lesser to their places. By stating that black women who date white men are ugly and can not get a black men it frightens other black women from considering that option. They stay in the black race regardless of how they are treated for fear of being considered ugly. Fear should not be the determining factor in weather you decided to date someone or not.

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    • cocorose88 says:
      Posted: 17 Apr 14

      I totally concur with your analysis! It's even worse in the Afro Latino community because all spanish men both dark and light are taught not to bring home dark wives because only fair children are cute. Lucky for me I have been very attracted to white men ever since I was little so joining a site like this one came to me as a no brainer. As far as the so called brothas here in the states.... I remember when I was little my aunti used to listen to Public Enemy and KRS-1 who used to love and honor black women. They loved us because they had no other options. Ever since the porno (yep I watch it with my man @ times) industry has been promoting white women having sex with black men, bm and ww have been more popular than ever. Now negros bash the women they once loved because white women are sexually seeking them. I am so glad that someone wants them because the worse experience is me going out with my white male friends and belligerent angry negros start to pick fights with us because they are envious. If bm are busy with their ww that means they can leave me and my white knight alone! That's actually a fantastic thing. The problem is, even though negros prey on white women who keep their legs and wallets open and their mouths SHUT (allowing them to do whatever they wish and get away with it) these black men still seem to boil in oil when they see sexy fit educated sisters with handsome successful white men. Go figure! I guess they want us to be home in the shanty towns with six fatherless children receiving welfare and wasting our lives away. What I find most melancholic is that I would not even wish such a putrid life on my worse enemy! Just goes to show you how evil spirited some people are.

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      • genie_us says:
        Posted: 18 Apr 14

        You are a very very intelligent woman cocorose88 and I would love to talk to you over the net if that is okay with you. In my opinion black women are the most beautiful women alive and the reason why more men do not jump on them is because many of them have serious faces that make them seem unapproachable. When a man sees a frown he feels that rejection is inevitable so he spares himself the potential hurt feelings and approaches the first woman with a warm smile which is usually an Asian woman. For some reason they are extra cheery when they see us. So there you have it! If ebony girls smiled a bit more, men from all over would approach them because we know how tough things can be for women who are faced with more adversities than any other women. Yet somehow you girls manage to rise above it all and educate yourselves. I love and respect all ebony woman and I am convinced that black men who bash you are just closet gay guys who envy you for being stronger and more respected in society than they will ever be.

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    • lukiya says:
      Posted: 21 Apr 14

      yes you are right

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  36.   Akreazz says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 14

    Black women are not ugly, and everyone is entitled to marry whoever they care to marry. The only ugly people are those, who have negative things to say about Black Women and Interracial Dating. The fact is, if you are happy with yourself, and the good life you are living. Then, you don't have time to say anything negative about Black women or men dating and marrying Interracial. Its your choice whomever you marry.

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    • wright4393 says:
      Posted: 29 Apr 14

      like

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    • wright4393 says:
      Posted: 29 Apr 14

      We all belong to one race the human race. As Robin Roberts says everybody has something. We wear all made beautiful in the eyes of God. they talk about Jesus so you know they are going to talk about you. let that stuff run off your back like water. Live your life like it is golden. Be happy because the person who made that comment is not

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  37.   Thyme4the1 says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 14

    Love the one who loves you. Color is so overrated. Its not about black and white. Moreover, its about being open to possibilities. Dating a white guy/black guy does not make someone better or worse. That's just ridiculous. Date anyone that respects and wants to be with you.

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  38.   Kastrie says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 14

    Christelyn, you have preached the good gospel on interracial dating girl. From what I've seen and experienced, black men only wanna marry black women when they see that black women are now exploring other romantic avenues like dating a man of another race. I had a black guy tell me that he wouldn't date me because he thought that I was too dark. He said that if I was lighter, like a light-skinned black girl, or a Hispanic chick, he MIGHT consider dating me. (like he was really doing me some kind of favor...gtfoh.) I COMPLETELY advocate for interracial relationships. The ironic part about this whole issue is that its considered "the norm" for a black man to date a blonde, big breasted, small waisted, white woman. BUT, if a white guy decides to date a big breasted, small waisted black woman, then the black woman is looked upon as a pariah of sorts. Truth be told, I take the approach like this: don't say anything to me about me dating a white guy and I wont say anything to you about you dating a white woman. Don't start none, won't be none. (Bernie Mac voice).

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  39.   Geir_mund says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 14

    "People are taken aback by a confident, pretty girl who knows what she wants in life and isn't going to let anyone get in her way. And you know what it's all about? Jealousy." ~Summer Altice Nothing can be more true. Jealousy is all over the place, and it comes out in many forms. What happened to you is one of them. I am sure the ones who criticised you were miserable themselves and too scared to make such a leap as you to find happiness. That's what makes them angry; not at you, but what you represent.

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  40.   Geetih says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 14

    not true....i am totally not ugly and i wouldnt mind dating interracially...

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    • cocorose88 says:
      Posted: 17 Apr 14

      @ Geetih you are very beautiful period! The word ugly should not even come out of your mouth when you describe yourself. As far as dating interracially I swear by it because the silly sisters that are waiting for a "good black man(which as of lately has become an oxymoron)" are among the 75% of African American women that are SINGLE. These women agree that white guys are very handsome but they refuse to date outside of their race because the are scared to death to try something new. They think "well if my own black man does not love me, how could a white man ever love me?" All of that is fear and fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real! Those scared women might possibly die without ever knowing what a real man's love is, so all I do for them is pray. I pray that those sisters close their eyes and open their hearts. If they do, they will find that the man of their dreams is coated in WHITE CHOCOLATE:)

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  41.   sexyp1 says:
    Posted: 06 Apr 14

    Oh my goodness that is horrible!!! I'm so sorry you had to experience such hate. It reminded me of Whoopi Goldberg when she first became famous, I was a young kid and I remember EVERYONE saying how ugly she was. I remember my mom saying she she thought she was very pretty and loved get cheek bones. People thought my mom was crazy for saying that. I also remember Whoopi saying she dated white men because black men thought she was ugly. I found the opposite to be true in my dating WM, I've had BM say and even come up to me when I'm talking to a WM and say awe can't handle you, are you're to cute to be dating that corny white guy. My other fav rude comment, oh you're pretty for a dark skinned woman/girl. I know it's certainly not as harmful or hateful, but it's so rude and makes me angry. I'm so happy you shared this with us all.

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  42.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 14

    Christelyn is an attractive woman. I'm 100% sure those who made those rude comments are not with someone as attractive as her. Just some jealous idiot that's all. But wow, seriously "too dark" ? I consider her on the lighter spectrum of black. You haven't seen black until you've seen Sudanese Nubian.

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    • matul says:
      Posted: 03 Apr 14

      I love her at all she's so loyal and perfect that's enough to conquer a man heart

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  43.   TarzansJane says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 14

    Seriously..what is too dark, too light, or not pretty or handsome enough? Really? We all have looks. Not all looks attract all people. I am looking for a mutual attraction in my relationship. It is not just looks, but character, tone, self respect, and how a person treats others. What I might find handsome other people might find unattractive. Well I'm not looking for other people, I'm looking for what attracts men. I have dated all kinds of men and been attracted too all types of men from just about every culture and in just about every case, it was something about me that drew them. I have also experienced rejection by all types of people because there was something about me that folks did not like. I think black women marry interarcially because they have been found by a men that love them for being themselves whoever they are. Isn't that what we all want? To be loved for being ourselves?

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  44.   sassy_lsc says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 14

    This is sad!! I hate that for anyone that has experienced that regardless of them being male or female. T.O. said the same thing so where was Sgt Willie Pete then? I only experienced that from a cousin when I was in the forth grade and she was in 6th or 7th, but that got settled really quick. My mouth is too smart. I would have told him just like I told my cousin (but I would have added horse in there too..just for him) "Take a picture of this dark face sweetheart, it looks just like your moms." and she told her mom (my aunt) and she got trouble for running her mouth and told her she was lucky I didn't punch her. I'm far from a disrespectful person but if you dish it, then be big boy or big girl enough to take it. I don't understand why people read it and took it personally, she didn't say all. Would it have been less inflammatory or offensive to people if she said the black in my sight or that she was interested in? Probably not.. Regardless of who you are, who you date, how much money you have and etc...there will always be people who don't like something about you. Date who you want, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

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  45.   Indiasoasis says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 14

    This is sad, yet true for so many women. I have only experienced racism with my own race. Ever since I was little I was called burnt and ugly from family members, teachers and peers. I will always remember a black man calling me an oil drinking pig because my gums are black. My aunties warning my other cousins to stay out of the sun or else they will end up like me. My father telling me that I was probably meant to be single. To this day I'm put down by blk men and women. The first man to ever call me beautiful was a non blk man and it felt great to actually be considered as so. I date outside my race not because I think I'm ugly (which I know I'm not) but because I refuse to continue to be hurt and mistreated by people who look like me!

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    • drkr_thn_blu says:
      Posted: 09 Mar 14

      Wow. I'm happy to hear that despite your experiences you are strong, confident and full of love for yourself. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!

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  46.   deuce1975 says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 14

    wow that's not true at all, bc my wife will be a black lady so whoever thinks that, I feel sorry 4

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  47.   Yasifromnyc says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 14

    What a blanket statement. I have never had a problem attracting a black man being dark skinned. Not all of us who choose to date interracially do so because we believe were cast in the reject pile. That's bullshit. Gadzooks! Where's her self esteem? I hate when people try to pin everything on the black man's back because they drank the social kool aid-- and now believe they are worthless. I see black men with chocolate women everyday. More often than not--and always have. I date black men, and anyone else who I find interesting. Men are beautiful and I love all types. Right now, I'm jonesing for European guys; but not because I can't get a black man. Lol I don't date a man's color. I date the man. What's wrong with people?

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    • onefinegem40 says:
      Posted: 13 Apr 14

      Just because you have not experienced it doesn't mean that is doesn't exist. Self esteem has nothing to do with it! More black women than not have experienced something similar. It is not a case of blaming the black man and now wanting a white man. Your statement reeks of blaming the victim. Good for you that this has not happened to you, but don't go around making black women feel bad about expressing their experiences.

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  48.   Moochy says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 14

    This is what I had to deal with growing up. The black men ignored me and thought I was ugly but it was the white men who approached me and told me I was beautiful. No one's ever said that to me before (that I was beautiful) so when a white man told me he thought so, I melted. I date interracially because I've always been attracted to white men, not just because black men rejected me.

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  49.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 20 Feb 14

    Ria here's a question to Christelyn Karazin , what if WM or other men didn't find your dark skin attractive, then what???? If I came at you as a WM and stated that I'm interested in BW because WW don't want me wouldn't that lead you to wonder would I want anything to do with you if WW hadn't rejected me????? I don't know about other men but I don't want to be second pickings for nobody, date me because you want to date me and not because somebody else refused to date you. When it comes to IR dating I've always said it's not what you do but why you do what you do. Ria I'd ask Mrs. Christelyn Karazin what does she mean when she say's "women who look like me", does she mean too dark or unattractive and if so, who told her that she was too dark or unattractive? What made his or her opinion the gospel truth, it only became the truth when she accepted it as her very own truth. My mother told me as a child that I wont be accepted by everybody so I'd better learn to accept myself because to some people I wouldn't be light or dark enough, tall enough, smart enough or cool enough but most important she taught me to never look up to those that look down on me! Christelyn Karazin also stated: "You are not wrong to flee those who hate you and gravitate to social circles in which you are accepted and celebrated. It is not a sin to love those who love and respect you". Since when did the comments of some ignorant ass individual BM doesn't constitute hatred of her by all BM? My biggest wish is that she's truly accepted, celebrated, love and respected in those social circles and not an object of pitty. In closing, the love and admiration of the world means nothing if you don't first have it for yourself because no one can fill an empty cup no matter how much they pour into it. Best wishes to all!

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    • Ms.Leo40 says:
      Posted: 28 Feb 14

      She should love and respect herself.... Expect her own self to know what she wants and needs...

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    • onefinegem40 says:
      Posted: 06 Mar 14

      Although I agree with your statement that one should not hate an entire segment of a community based on one ignorant statement, the statement of being too dark or not pretty enough is more prevalent in the Black community than we want to admit. More BW than not have heard those statements. I am glad that it is being brought to the forefront. More BW can heal from these hurtful statements by realizing they are not alone in being made to feel that the are not good enough.

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    • Rachae says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 14

      I see it a little different. I think if you were taught like most black women are that you have to marry a black man because white men will never accept you are treat you right and then black men treat you like a dog because of your complexion you think white men cannot treat or think worst of me than black men do. So why not just find a man who accepts me for me. The reasons for dating black men are gone.........

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    • SurpriseMEE says:
      Posted: 05 May 14

      YES, exactly!

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  50.   DarccAngel says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 14

    Growing up and even into adulthood ive heard every dark joke or put down a person could think of. Ive been out at clubs with friend girls all were fairer than i and all were asked to dance and i continued to sit...it can be a disheartening thing, but its the way things are sadly (although it shouldnt be). And yes i know not every black man is as hateful, but enough are that it makes a difference especially when its directed at you. Actually ive come to a point were sadly i was saying to myself, that i think its best if i stay single. Dont get me wrong i love me, i respect me and i put none before God, but i just am unsure about so much. Im a dark skinned woman, very dark and ive seen it all.

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    • deuce1975 says:
      Posted: 02 Mar 14

      don't change who are U ARE GORGEOUS EITHER WAY, bt make sure u are inside n out so every man sees that

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    • brianna920 says:
      Posted: 09 Mar 14

      OMG! As I read your comment and looked at your picture I was dumb founded.....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! These men you dealt with are so insecure and ignorant. It is mind boggling that someone could ever say such a thing, especially too you! Their loss

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