Do we over-blow the ‘discrimination’ whistle?
When Charlie Strong didn’t get a head-coaching job (See post: Can interracial marriage hurt ones chances of getting a job?), he claimed his interracial marriage was used against him. Today, I bumped into this:
I recently turned down an interracial couple who applied for an apartment here. They were referred to our community by a current resident. I rejected them because of their poor credit score. Now their friend is accusing us of discrimination, though I haven't heard from the applicants themselves…
Sometimes the situations we label discrimination really aren’t. Personally, I don’t really know where to draw the line. Sometimes we fail to achieve our goals because of our own shortcomings but somehow, if we are on the other side of the racial divide, we blame it all on discrimination.
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I think all this can be tied to lack of racial transparency. Much as most of us avoid talking about race issues publicly, we do so at our kitchen tables with our friends and family. We have become closeted racists. And when we are not talking publicly about race, we busy ourselves with over analyzing other people’s verbal and non-verbal communication for the slightest tinge of racism. Then we find ourselves caught up in this game of accusations and counteraccusations about racism and racial discrimination.
I am also guilty of blaming my failures on discrimination. So it got me thinking... Maybe I didn’t land that job because the white dude who got had better qualifications than I. Maybe the woman at our store doesn’t make small-talk with me, not because I aint White, but because my face don’t look inviting enough.
Just the other day, a cartoon by the New York post where a police officer makes a joke about a gunned-down chimp's connection to the economic-stimulus package stirred an accusation that the paper was trafficking in age-old popular and scientific stereotypes about black people being evolutionarily closer to other primates.
I mean, if I bash other races within closed doors, what will stop me from assuming they do the same? And with such an assumption comes suspicion and paranoia … assumptions that the actions or non-actions of the other person are racist … or racial discrimination for those who love blowing that whistle.
Do people find citing racial discrimination more alluring than having to own up to their own shortcomings? Could there be a disparity between actual discrimination and the whistles blown claiming discrimination?
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47 responses to "Do we over-blow the ‘discrimination’ whistle?"
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homesteader says:Posted: 11 Mar 09United States Air Force Duty , Don't complain to Me . Get OFF YOUR BEHIND and Grow up , Times are Change ing , Write a letter to Our President with your compliants . He's Broke also if the Government in Debt is paying his Way . But he sure nuff got a Pretty Family .
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homesteader says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
Heck my brother slept in a Cardboard box in Alaska after getting Discharged from 5 years Detecated United Air Force Duty .
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homesteader says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
Get a Job , find a wife , have a Family . I cannot help anymore than Good Advice. Call an 800 # in the front of your telephone book . As I am sure one of those people will Help with problems Larger than you can do yourself . I do not say things are Easy , But with some Effort many things can be Done
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brandonhugs says:Posted: 11 Mar 09Thank you, to these 2 white men that let me know that institutional racism does not exist in this country and that even if it does exist, black people shouldn't "bring our problems to ourselves" and shouldn't complain about it. Wow...
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homesteader says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
I sure wish I had know all these things , years ago when seeking employment . Then I would have decided that just because I walked with a Pronounced Limp was not the only reason it was Difficult to find Employment . Poor Poor Pitiful Me , Alas I grew and with Extra Training . I was able to not Blame others for my Bad Luck . We bring our problems to ourselves , when we learn to complain about what We have no control over . Get A Life . Generally Speaking.
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Glock says:Posted: 11 Mar 09
Brandonhugs you say, "Every study shows that our country has ALWAYS had and still does have INSITUTIONAL racism which affects blacks’ abilty to get jobs, to get educated, to live where we want to, our access to health care, along with MANY other things." Those studies say all that? Can you define "institutional" racism, or is it just a phrase to decribe something you know you can't legitamately claim as racism but want to blame someone?
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brandonhugs says:Posted: 10 Mar 09
damnnnnnn, Orashi! and I thought that I was the one that was long-winded! haha! just teasing! u go, girl! U are obviously a caring person :))
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brandonhugs says:Posted: 09 Mar 09
look, i find this whole discussion to be ridiculous. OF COURSE there are a few cases when racism is mistakenly assumed, but that does not change the fact that racism is a HUGE problem in this country. Every study shows that our country has ALWAYS had and still does have INSITUTIONAL racism which affects blacks' abilty to get jobs, to get educated, to live where we want to, our access to health care, along with MANY other things. It's especially ridiculous for the writer of this essay to use the recent BLATANTLY RACIST NY Post cartoon which has been condemned, which depicts white policemen standing over a bleeding monkey that they just shot and saying "THEY'LL HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO WRITE THE NEXT STIMULUS BILL". Gee, I wonder why us over-sensitive black folks would think that was a racist cartoon? Man oh man...
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homesteader says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
Yes , I am White bye Heritage . Alas have been Discriminated against since I became Disabled at the age of 18 . With hard work crawled up and moved on / did not have time to lie down and cry . Became a Man due to not quiting on Life .
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homesteader says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
Being treated wrongly in Life is not a color or Race issue / it is the case of Ignorance of Inconsiderate People .
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homesteader says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
Discrimination , comes to all of us in one form or another , when I became Disabled due to a Massive Heart attack 12/28/00 . The staff of Heart Surgeons and Doctors at St. Lukes Heart Institute in Houston , Texas sent me Disability paperwork . Yet the social security people denied my Disablity Claim for two years [ them thinking that they were more intelligent than the Doctors report ]. Until I called my United States Representatives office in Washington D.C. / Then three days after that call I received a Document from the House of Representatives proclaiming my Disablity and Social Security called and all my back payments owed to me were sent within a week . In the front pages of your telephone book are several 800 # to contact the Government Officials and messing with Lawyers / who want 25 % of your money is no faster than that and all money owed shall come to you . If you feel that you have been Discriminated against , Call these free phone # and allow the Senate and House to work for you . You will be surprised how Fast things Happen at a Government Level and it is Free because they are Paid to Represent You . Good Luck in your journey thru life . The True Power is in the Government . It worked for me , Hehe . Alas you must have a Valid Claim .
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Glock says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
Good post NOPLAYER. Very good, there is only one thing I would disagree with you on which I'll get to in a minute. Sharing your example as a youth was insightful and important to the discussion of racial issues we often have on this blog. Your experience as a black youth and the three white guys illustrates a couple things. One is that you bumped into some white guys who were idiots punks. What you did in response was/is normal. As you said, based on that experience, you over reacted to perceived threats from white men. However, perhaps those white men had a similar experience with a black man. Who knows. It certainly doesn't excuse the behavior but might explain what they did what they did. Also you learned prejudice from that experience. Something we all do from time to time. It's just a part of life that we do it. We just have to control it so that it doesn't control our lives. My experiences have been both similar and different to yours. I have experienced over the top remarks, inuendos, gestures and out right hatred from black men. And as a white man, have been accused, too many times to count, as being a racist. Some of the examples I could share but are to long to post but are so hilarious. Some even from this website. It often gets to the point when you hear it so many times you can't help but just start laughing. It can often stem just from having a different opinion. The thing I would disagree with is that you don't need power in order to be racist. All that is required is to believe that one's ethnic stock is superior to another race. That can be done by anyone from any race. It doesn't have anything to do with one's socio-economic class but rather ones opinion about another race.
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aj4 says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
Hi all, Finally, black and white people who are not afraid to discuss racism. Rite now I'm involved in a case with my employer. However my employer and my union have blatantly instructed me to "leave racism out of it". I can't, because I believe that I was and still am being discriminated against as far as this case goes. These guys have refused and seem to be afraid to even discuss it They seem to be in complete denial as to the existence of racism.When I try to talk about it the catch phrase is "dont go there". The case continues and has been going on for the past 5 years. A very frustrating situation.
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homesteader says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
In the present day ; A Threat of Death . Is called a Terrioristic Threat bye the police dept. , Subject to Jail time for the white Ahole who says such a comment . I myself have gone through similiar threats by a white Ahole , but the Sheriff Deputy who took the 911 call . Told me it was my word against his , buy a camera and recorder to have proof . His same Ahole continued his threats of my life , the Justice of the Peace told me that just because I was Disabled , they were not going to Babysit me / Take care of it yourself were his words spoken to me . In the State of Texas it is legal to protect ones own life and the lives of ones family against bodily harm with deadly force - It is called Self-Defence . These same problems effect all of us equally . I just cleaned my shotgun and bought fresh 12 gauge buckshot . The Lord God said " Thou Shalt not Kill " . Alas Shooting an attacker in both knees will take this problem away . Then Achilles' tendon comes to mind . Just because I am White gives me no less Right to a Happy Life .
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 03 Mar 09If I didn't know any better I'd think that many blacks suffer from, I guess you could say a mild case of Post Traumatic Distress Syndrome. I wonder if at one time they experienced something that really effected them and now certain situations that remind them of that event triggers certain responses. Take me for an example, as a 17 year I was working part time as a dishwasher on the Southside of St. Louis and one night while waiting for the bus a truck pulled up with about 5 white guys in the bed of the truck. One guy yelled at me, " nigger we'll draw a homicide circle around your black ass if you're here when we get back "! Needless to say I was scared but then my fear gave way to anger and from that day up until a few years ago the slightest hint of aggression or perceived disrespect threw me into full combat mode. Perceived threats can trigger the "fight or take flight" response, well my fight response was off the meter! LOL It wasn'r until a friend brought this to my attention that I really looked at it for what it was. I had a problem with over reacting to perceived threats or aggression from white men. I now find it easier just to ask myself, " was this person just being an asshole, "stuck on stupid" or just having a bad day. You have to give people the benefit of the doubt. It's easier said than done when you have already maid up your mind to assume the worst about that person or you've heard, " that's how they are" too many times. As blacks we have to dismiss some of our own ways of thinking if we're to help do away with this drama. Now that I look back, I wonder how in the world did I walk around for all those years with my " ok Buddy say something fucked up if you want you, I dare ya", type of attitude? I must've been crazy ! lol I bring this up to make it known that some of us have deep seated issues that we have to deal with on both sides. I remeber a friend once telling me that it's easy to be ignorant or bigoted but you have to have a degree of power to be racist. He stated that you have to have the means to advance your racial cause at the expense of others. The average Joe is one paycheck from sleeping on a park bench, so he has no real power to inflict damage on a mass scale apon those that he may dislike. Most of the folks that we accuse of being racist are powerless to do anything other than act a foolish or blow hot air. They can't decide were you can buy a home( thats if your credit is checks out ), what university you can attend, or how you can raise capital to start a business, thay don't control that, you do? So let's not waste energy where it's not needed and focus it on something that's good for yourself and others. If only I knew then what I know now !
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xendau says:Posted: 03 Mar 09
One word.... "Yes" Unfortunately in our society it is all too easy to point the finger and call "foul" on any number of social issues. Discrimination... being one blown very loudly. The down side is close to the story of the "Boy Who Called Wolf". As serious accounts of discrimination are often overlooked from race-warlords/race-fear mongers abusing certain terms therefore weakening the seriousness of VALID accusations. People who are bigots or prejudicial are often called racists. Even Websters has dumbed down the definition of racism/racist from what it was years ago. Most cannot even tell you there are varying definitions between bigotry, prejudice and racism. All too often people cry foul when more times than not it has been their own undoing that has lead to a circumstance. Bad credit scores for housing or job interviews are just the tip of the iceburg... During after class study today we had a brother walk in and (playfully) ask the instructor "Why he GAVE him a failing grade..." As if it were anyone else's fault but his own he EARNED that grade. An admissions person not long there after came in and asked the same instructor question concerning another student. "Dont fail my student..." were the words that she repeated, while getting the students daily assignments for not being in class today. In many instances, people just find it easier to point the fingers at others, without looking in the mirror. Terms like racism and discrimination all too often are the scapegoats... especially when there is more than one race involved. I could continue to beat this dead horse, but I happily say... I have seen many a bad time and made many bad decisions that will indeed affect me the rest of my life... Yes, I have a record. But I will not allow that to make me a statisic. I have been a changed man for over 12 years now. I could easily blame others for make success and failure, but all those items were EARNED by me. Good, bad and indifferent. I worked to get my convictions, and worked to get recognized as a productive part of society as I was raised to be. I could sit and harp on how I was not accepted in the "black" or "white" communities thus thrusting my into a type of racial purgatory where I did not fit anywhere. But my father raised a man who was not afforded the luxury of blaming others for a bed I made. Sad to say... many others need men like father in their lives, or have a "coming to god" / "epiphany" as they say...
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Glock says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
NOPlAYER, I'm not really kicking anything new here. I was agreeing with Venus's post and just had one point I disagreed with her on, that was the "Jimmy the Greek" controversy and the reason behind his statement and firing. Homesteader I'm not sure if your posts were directed at me or not.
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VA_SongBird says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
NO PLAYER... I think you should seriously consider, Starting your own BLOG. You are an excellent communicator and would definitely stimulate us with some thought provoking discussions.
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southernmoca says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
Until we discuss racism there is no hope of improvement. I pray with my son's generation (college student) that racism will be addressed and found ridiculous and ignorant. Never-the-less, we are imperfect humans and we show everyday why we need the help of a higher power. Sometimes it isn't the white man's fault. Sometimes the partner we choose is a problem for someone. Sometimes, somewhere on this earth somebody is not going to like somebody on this earth for some stupid reason or another. (sighs)
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homesteader says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
Our government will allow you to go anywhere you want , But will another allow you through Their gate to enter ? and once there allow you toLeave if you want to . I would imagine , unless you are a Convicted Felon . Then I know Canada don't want you in their country . I have made that Border crossing many times hauling freight , myself . Huh your butt Pay Attension . This is Our Country , go find your own .
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homesteader says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
Government Education , yes . Government Payroll , yes . " America , Love it or Leave it " , yes . And try not to let the door hit you in the Behind on the way out .
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 02 Mar 09
Glock has a point, it's true that slave owners selectively paired slaves of similiar qualities for the purpose of producing children of the same type. It's no secrete, that was the order of the day back then. As painful as it is to talk about things of that nature, I feel that's the only way of bringing about understanding. It's ok to have different points of veiw cocerning history, because in reality it is " His Story " or someones version of the story! Glock I admire your courage to beat the dirt from out of the carpet. These topics are painful but it's a necessary part of healing. If you're diagnosed with a certain type of cancer and the doctor says that it can be cut out, the operation will hurt more than the cancer itself. You have to inflict pain sometimes to get rid of the cause of pain. After the cancer is removed your still sore but you're slowing but surely returning to health. These topics serve a purpose only if we allow them to help us understand eachother.
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Glock says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Only government schools teach you what the state wants you to know. As far as the rest of the post, quite frankly I am not sure if you're addressing me?
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raven3658 says:Posted: 01 Mar 09This is an interesting topic but the fact is that we have come along way especially here in America with it's rich history of racism. I have travelled all over Europe with my ex husband who is European...never felt discriminated against but also I was not looking for it. The Germans, I find to be very open and warm and cannot even imagine the experience encountered by Minosa.
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homesteader says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
If we graduated High school , we all read History books .
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homesteader says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Rumor I have heard was ; Wealthy Slave owners would Pick a pretty slave girl for their sons sexual training , This was over a Hundred years ago . Do we still live in these times ? Get with the program , the past had many bad things Happen do we want to still live in those days - No - / It has become time to live in the present - and seek far better times in the Future , All I see is some who talk with Blinders on .
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Cocosan says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Glock, I honestly understand where you are coming from. Be patient my Dear and stay true to yourself! I appreciate you just as you are!
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Glock says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Yeah I know! I'm just trying to have an honest objective discussion. I agreed with most of what Venus said, there was just one thing I disagreed with and simply pointed out. In all fairness Venus hasn't said anything back, it was Fred. I guess some people are REALLY sensitive.
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Cocosan says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Glock Darling, does this feel familiar? Or is it just me?
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Glock says:Posted: 01 Mar 09
Are you serious Fred? You really do not believe that during slavery, slave owners did not breed their slaves to produce stronger slaves? In fact many of his detractors never disputed this, they called him a racist. I can't produce any evidence that slave owners had sex with their slaves either, does that also mean that didn't happen??
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FredT44 says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
I seriously doubt whether Glock can produce any evidence to support his claim that what Jimmy the Greek said about how blacks were bred is a "statement of fact". Racism abounds in America. Many blacks claim discrimination at the slightest provocation. Such reactions do not diminish the prevalence of racism in America and may in fact increase it. We all have to be on guard to challenge racism where it exists and not claim it where it doesn't. A little less certainty about these matters would help us all. IMHO.
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FredT44 says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
I seriously doubt whether Glock can produce any evidence to support his claim that what Jimmy the Greek said about how blacks were bred is a "statement of fact". Racism abounds in America. Many blacks claim discrimination at the slightest provocation. Such reactions do not diminish the prevalence of racism in America and may in fact increase it. We all have to on guard to challenge racism where it exists and not claim it where it doesn't. A little less certainty about these matters would help us all. IMHO.
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Glock says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
501Venus, I agree with most of your post. You hit it right on the nail. For many years these actions, words and cartoons were taken with a grain of salt, not worrying or caring that they might have offended someone. Those times have changed. Take for instance the cartoonist. Look how much public comdemnation he has received as well as the New York Post for printing the cartoon. You mention Howard Cossell and Jimmy the Greek. The only difference between the two is that Cossell made an "off the cuff" remark. Jimmy the Greek made a statement of fact the was extremely politically incorrect. He stated that blacks make better atheletes because they were bred that way. He stated, slave owners bred their biggest black women and men to make stronger slaves for the field. And that in fact is true. Did anyone at that time dispute what he said was untrue? Does anyone dispute today that this is untrue. He got fired because he brought up the past history of this country, possibly effecting CBS's revenue from boycotting advertisers and offending the PC gods. There is undoubtedly a list of broadcasters from various fields that have offended people from one time or another. But as you state, "the newspaper should be aware of sensitive issues". But who makes the determination of sensitivity and just 'whos' sensitivity should they be careful of offending? Because there is a laundry list of minority pundits that have a track record of making "offensive' remarks as well, but who's careers have flourished in spite of it. Just a thought.
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501venus says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
One of the problems with discrimination is that it is silent. One does not come out and state "I don't like your skin color, or the fact you wear a turban, therefore, I am not going to make you feel comfortable in my present." We don't know for sure if it is discrimination or not. However, if we feel an undercurrent and suspect it, we aren't 100%, nor, are we 100% wrong. We all have unconscious and conscious bias towards anything and everything. That is how we choose our food, clothes, cars, apartments, houses, friends and yes lovers. We are attracted and drawn towards them, and those that repel or repulse us we push away. It's when it is in the extreme that it affects the quality of life another (sensivity, harrassment, denial of opportunity) that it needs to be addressed outright. The question is 'why'? The answer(s) can't be fully satsified being on the outside of an invidivual's brain. We can only base it on past actions and current behavior and motivation. I give a great example to friends, in that, a traffic officer pulling someone over for speeding has a few options. He/she can issue the speeding ticket as it is, change the infraction to a generic moving violation (no points on license), issue a warning, or, not issue a ticket at all and let the driver go giving them a break. Why and what causes the officer to do whatever action is based on his/her thinking towards that driver and the mood they were experiencing. Many of us (minorities AND majority) don't have the greatest credit record. "Sometimes" landlords can look the other way if a friend or family member pulls some strings. Then, there are those majority of the times, where a landlord has been burned previously giving someone a break who has bad credit. It is was not upon the landlord in that example, nor, the prospective tenants to say anything pro or con. But, it was the friend who actually thought they being friends, could persuade the landlord into renting to this couple. It was the friend that could not see the rationale other than race that played into it. The cartoon itself had a lot of issues with it. First, I did not find it funny, nor, witty regarding the subject material. A woman in an upper income residential suburb, gets severely mauled by a enraged male chimp that was possibly medicated. The chimp is 15 times stronger than a man, so it was difficult to manage and control as it ripped savagely apart this women's body. One police officer shot and fatally wound it as it lunged at the police officer in the police officer's police cruiser. The chimp fatally wounded, limped back into the owner's house and died in the entranceway of the residence. If 'loosely' using this 'incident', why did the cartoonist take liberties to place the chimp lying on an urban street corner (no car around), not, residential. The chimp was shot by not one, but two White police officers (no police car anywhere in the cartoon). Along with posted signs of 'Beware of Dog' posted on the poles on the street, with, no dog present (there was never a mention of a dog in the original story).By the way, since when do you go on a 'city' street and see these type of signs? Racism is not just an exclusion of a race, it can be the demoralizing, dumbing down and purposely deningating a race. Simbians (chimps, apes, gorillas etc.) were used to equate to slaves to make it easier to digest the rationale in bringing slavery to the U.S. Howard Cossell (Monday Night Football) was fired from his announcing spot by uttering what he thought was a harmless remark "Look at that monkey go!". Jimmy the Greek was fired too for a similar racist slur. Were they extreme? I can't answer that, how can a newspaper think it can do something that was so offensive to cause these two to be fired? The newspaper should be aware of sensitive issues (even if the cartoonist didn't know, someone from the editorial staff should have be aware).
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NOPLAYER says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
A Bad credit score will get many doors slammed in your face. There will always be bigoted people out there ( not that this person was ) but you can't give them a club to beat you upsaid the head with and that bad credit score could have been just that! It's my opinion that due to the history of racial discrimination in this country many people including myself are sometimes hyper sensitive to percieved racism and disrcimination. Over the years I've learned that racism is a sickness in the offender but it sometimes effects those who've been offended by it. We have no control over how people treat us but we can control how we responde. We can dismiss it or we can join in the madness.
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lagbaja61 says:Posted: 28 Feb 09Discrimination? Alive and well that's for sure. A few months back, Transport for London carried an ad on London buses about fare evaders. In the photo, all three people caught were of one particular race. I bet you can guess what colour they were? That MUST be racist musn't it? Two high profile court cases here in recent months...in one a man rushed into a supermarket and punched to death a man his girlfriend said had insulted her; a guy on a bus with his girlfriend was brutally stabbed to death by a man they asked to stop throwing chips at them. In both cases, both killers were of one race, neither convicted of murder,and both victims were also of one race. I'm sure you can guess the races of each....surely the justice system being racist? Minosa your remarks about Germany are in my experience inaccurate. I have been to Germany many many times in an inter racial relationship, had absolutely no problem finding hotels and being served courteously and promptly. Each time the girl I have been with was black and LIVED in Germany and each had no problem at all living there.
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lola73 says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
Wow...Glock...you are still alive. Nice to see ya. Have a good one. Bye.
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Glock says:Posted: 28 Feb 09
Very good point VA_Songbird. And considering the above article that was posted for our comment, it really doesn't give much details other than: 1. An interracial couple was turned down for an apartment. 2. They were referred by a current resident. 3. They had a bad credit score. 4. The friend is now accusing discrimination. 5. And he hasn't heard from the applicants. As you can see, there are many questions unanswered that I think should be answered before ANY consideration can be made to applying any labels. Now, could it be discrimination based on race? Sure it can. Could it be he (I'm taking the liberty of assuming it's a he) discriminated because he doesn't approve of interracial couples? Absolutely. Does the friend know why they were turned down? Who knows. I'm sure the landlord didn't go tell the current resident about his friends credit score. Does the landlord have a history of discriminating in regards to interracial couples? Is there ANYTHING that would indicate that the landlord discriminated solely because of it being an interracial couple? Just some thoughts.
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VA_SongBird says:Posted: 27 Feb 09
I think it's difficult to prove racial discrimination. It's a fact of life, discrimination happen every day for various reasons. Sometimes, the are other factors which play into the decision making process of which we may not be fully aware at the time. I guess having lived a while, you get to point that you have to make a decision and decide which battles you chose to fight. It counter productive to go through life wanting sue everyone, even if you really do have a right to.
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Glock says:Posted: 27 Feb 09
The article is pretty straight forward. It's discrimination. He discriminated against a couple with a poor credit rating in favor of someone with a better credit rating. The couple just happened to be interracial. The discrimination based on credit ratings happens all the time.
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minosa says:Posted: 27 Feb 09
Well, your article did get me thinking Ria, and I reached the following conclusions. It may be true that many times what was not actual racial discrimination was seen by a certain race read blacks as being discrimination. But I would say no big harm done as this would balance out the many many times that situations are not seen as discriminatory but really are! There are so many subtle inuendos delivered in super friendly packages which in the end are discriminatory. I remember the time as a student I black confident well educated lady travelling with my white boyfriend in Germany thought discrimination was out of the world. After visiting the 10th hotel, guesthouse etc to find lodging for the night it finally dawned on me that the germans did not want black girl white boy in their hotel. My boyfriend would not believe my assumption so I asked him to do an experiment. He would go in and say he needs a room and than call me in... He was about to sign in for the room when I appeared...immediately the form was taken away from him and the receptionist said he was misstaken to think they had a room left but that was not the case???? Boyfriend still did not believe so we did the experiment again. This time we waited until he had the room and even paid, he came back to the car pick me and our luggage up and there we go....after some nervous whispering and dirty looks, the manager appeared with my friends deposit and the message that if he wanted he could stay but they did not accept my type of people in their establishment... Until today I believe that my friend did not give me the full translation. From the little german I knew I could still pickout the reprimands they gave him for being with a black girl. To make a long story short, tired from searching we ended up in a cheap hostel renting separate rooms not to cause suspicion and had a very bad weekend outing in Germany as we went through rude service or even non service in restaurants. On his own my boyfriend got great service, on my own I would get reasonable not hearty service, but dining together service was just horrible, and the remarks, and dirty looks... So Ria better shout discrimination and know what you are up against than being blind to it. In the long run it cost you more. I do agree with you that we must look also at our own shortcomings, should not be a big problem to do as black people need to excell three times more and work harder to get the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately that is still the case in many parts of the world.
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The Power of Regret
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Common myths about Interracial Dating: Busted!
Common myths about Interracial Dating: Busted! The world is a melting pot of different cultures, races, and ethnicities. With the increasing global connectivity, interracial dating is becoming more common and accepted. However, there are several m...
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Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone?
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Keeping Love and Friendship Balanced
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Your Couple's Guide to Sexual Health
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Give Yourself the Gift of Done
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What Studies tell us about Interracial Marriage
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Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
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brandonhugs, no thanks needed, but are you going to answer my question or just babble? Can you define "institutional racism" for me? As far as the rest of your statement, I have NO idea what it is you're trying to say. I'm waiting...