How a white lie can turn into an argument

Posted by Juan, 22 Aug

What is a white lie? Should you tell a small lie if the intentions are good? What are the personal and relational consequences of the lie? Scroll on as we explore all these questions and more...

White lies meaning

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Do you understand the concept of white lies? When did you first tell your first one? For most of us, this starts at a tender age. And we do it because of empathy... we don't want to upset our parents. Parents do it too. They lie to keep the kids from doing things like losing toys. They even lie that an injection won't hurt just so you can get the jab and get better. They lie when they forget playdates.

So, what is a white lie? To put it simply, a white lie is supposed to be a harmless lie told to avoid someone else's feelings. or to be polite. For instance, a common is when a wife asks if she is fat and the husband just lies through his teeth.

Are white lies ok? According to research, they are socially acceptable and culturally conformable for parents to use white lies with their kids. Some people feel that the intention of the lie matters. For instance, if you are doing it out compassion so as to spare someone from pain or harm, it's ok. But on the other hand, if you are doing it selfishly just so you can keep yourself out of trouble, then that is ethically wrong.

A white lie example sentence can be something like: "Your pie is delicious" when you know too well that you are going to throw it in the trash as soon as the person is gone. One of the main benefits of white lies is that you avoid hurting the feelings of the people you care about. Unfortunately, however good the intentions of telling the white lie are, they can be harmful to relationships. Here's why...

How a small lie can turn into an argument

White lies are a part of most relationships. They all begin with just saying something in order to either protect yourself or the other person. And before you know it, the white liar is lying about everything. Becoming a pathological white liar is very easy. The thing is: when someone gets comfortable telling small lies, it will become easier to tell larger ones. And this is where relationship problems begin. This is how couples start arguing.

Some people might lie by omission. They consciously leave out information they feel that needs not to be known. For instance, a guy might go out, bump into an ex, chat and all and feel that maybe this information is irrelevant to the current girlfriend. But the day the girlfriend realizes that this happened, it will definitely be interpreted like there are was something he was hiding. If it were innocent, why did you feel the need to leave out that information because honestly speaking, that is definitely the highlight of the whole day? And they will definitely argue about it.

I know we do it because the full truth might hurt the other person even more. But ever wondered what the consequences of say making another person make decisions based on a lie will be the day the truth comes up. The thing is, not every white lie will stay buried. Some have a way of eventually coming back to life.

If the lie involves a romantic threat, the day it comes out, the couple will argue no matter how innocent the lie was. And when done longer, they become harder to contain since one has to lie more about it which damages a relationship as opposed to protecting it. These lies erode trust. They breed constant suspicion. You don't want your spouse to think that it is OK for you to lie when it suits you. And the big question will be: "What else is she lying about"?

When it comes to things like romantic threats, cheating or addictions like gambling, the white lie will eventually catch up with you and arguing starts. So don't make promises you can't keep. If you know cheating will bring issues, why do it? Why entertain a colleague of the opposite sex then convince your partner that you are just friends. If you know she is a threat to your relationship, stay away. Emotional affairs are just as devastating.

So instead of waiting for an argument to come up later, deal with the whole thing once and for all. Revisiting the whole argument is never pretty. It never ends well. Much as the lies are a quick fix, they are the worst solution to problems. Better deal with the situation truthfully, once and for all.

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