Menu

Just coz he dumped you too soon don't mean you are not what he said you are.

Posted by Ria, 29 Jul

dumped womanYou been lonely for a while then this guy swoops in and sweeps you off your feet in a whirl of romance and so much spontaneous excitements and adventures. Everything is just so perfect so much so that you don’t want to jinx it by talking too much about your life with your new found love to your friends.

And just when you getting used to living on cloud nine, THUMP! You find yourself back on earth. You start seeing less of him. Then he starts calling you less. And when you call he doesn’t pick up. Instead he texts back saying... “Let’s slow things down a bit. Swamped at work.” And before long, those messages and flowers dry up. Dude just disappeared on you.

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Devastating! Terribly devastating!

Apparently this type of guys are known as the Romantic Blinders. They do unto others what THEY want then SPLIT – like nothing ever happened; treat women like commodities to be enjoyed and tossed out once done.

This can wreck a woman’s self esteem especially if it happens after a bad break-up, or if you accidentally happen to be a serial Romantic Blinder dater. But how can you blame such a woman for getting lured into the game over and over again when the men in question romance her with so much intensity?

If you ever find yourself in this hit and run situation, don’t blame yourself. At the same time, don’t let it crush your self esteem. Treat yourself and feel as good as you did when you were with him. Just coz he dumped your fine a** don’t mean you are not all those things he said… pretty, special, intelligent. Yes, the words were said as part of his game plan but you believed them and you felt you were those words. So what’s changed? Just his absence?

Dust yourself up and move on. And in order to avoid being a serial Romantic Blinder dater, remember, most of the time, mature love takes time to develop. So if you meet this handsome knight who comes to your rescue and you are in doubt, be the one to suggest toning down the emotional intensity and see how this knight takes it. If he doesn’t run, then he is a keeper.

Related Stories

More Opinion Articles

4 responses to "Just coz he dumped you too soon don't mean you are not what he said you are."

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   geekgirl412 says:
    Posted: 22 Sep 11

    This just happened to me 3 months ago. He just decided to not call me on our one year anniversary. I met him on this site also, lol. He was a world-wind of fun and excitement, but in hindsight, he wasn't that deep. While he said it was ok to talk about things like marriage and the future, he was truly uncomfortable with it. When he did what he did, he made me question myself... of course. What's wrong with me? After some time I realize that this guy (never married and no kids and 42) he just wasn't the committing type. 2 weeks before he vanished, he said he didn't want to break up. I seriously think he wanted to do the right thing, but his low self-esteem and loathing of where he was in his life causes him to sabotage any relationship he's in. I think he's a wonderful in the "honeymoon" stage of a relationship, but anything deeper, he loses interest. He had no clue what it was to be responsible or accountable for anyone but himself. Sometimes I ask myself is it really him I miss or this things we did (we had so much in common). I still think about him, but I'm ok. I almost feel sorry for him. He did everything to me that he despised in other people. He would point out a douche-bag in a second, but in the end he was the douche-bag that he hated so much. My self-confidence was questioned and sometimes I still think that something was wrong with me. But the truth is, no one's perfect. He definitely wasn't, but I didn't care. I loved him for who he was. That wasn't enough for him. I know that I am a good woman, fun and very sexual. If I don't find someone who "loves" that, then I'll be alone until I die. But I will not sacrifice who I am for someone who doesn't even love who they are. Don't let some emotional basket case make you think less of yourself. Much love geekgirl

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  2.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 11

    This can wreck a woman’s self esteem especially if it happens after a bad break-up, or if you accidentally happen to be a serial Romantic Blinder dater. But how can you blame such a woman for getting lured into the game over and over again when the men in question romance her with so much intensity? **************************************************************************** This quote says it all. ' Self-esteem isn't actually about SELF. Self-esteem is "right/clear thinking about others". People with higher self-esteem are fully aware that very few opinions of others really matter. Their worth is defined NOT by the opinions but by the actual content of their own character and integrity of their behavior. Serial Blind Dater? I'd take a close look at WHO'S ACTUALLY BLIND, here. Bad Break up? Allow sufficient time to pass between bad breakups and dating again. Word to the wise...if you NEED a date? You ain't worth dating...you're still wounded. If you NEED to be hooked up..you're a WRECK ready to happen. Women enjoy being "intensely romanced" but REAL WOMEN are not suckers for intense romance for the hell of it. There has to be an end to the means. Multiple heartaches due to "endless romancing" without reason, purpose and meaning, is for only the very naive. WOMEN SHOULD EXPECT MORE FROM THEMSELVES...AND FOR THEMSELVES. How can I blame such women for being lured...? Because lures are for FISHIN...WILD GAME and the like. If YOU disallow a certain treatment, you will not likely receive it. So raise your own standards...and don't set yourself up for failure and bitch when it happens! If hold yourself with the esteem of a "Chicken Dinner--all breasts, thighs, legs and broken wings...." you will be picked over, the good parts eaten and the rest discarded--usually for a more satisfying meal. Respect yourself and be respected. ;-)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • blkclk says:
      Posted: 20 Aug 11

      yes, lures are for fishing, but you seriously cant fault a woman for falling for a romanic act. Some men practice for years to get good at seducing goodhearted women who just want to love and beloved. After reading all those romanic stories its impoosible to not want that for yourself. The women deserve some slack and those men deserve what karma will dish up for them.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment
      • SugahRush says:
        Posted: 21 Aug 11

        Blkclk. Thank you so much! Your admonition is heartfelt, sincere and understandable. IF it is common knowledge that some practice seducing, then, it seems that women (and men) should practice discernment and prioritizing (ie, what's most important--Acts or ACTION?). A person who "falls for romantic acts" is falling exactly for that--A C T S. The romantic stories are wonderful testimonies, but all of these stories are edited, "sanitized for our consumption". The divorce rate in our country is 50% for first timers, closer to 75% the second time. Oddly, arranged marriages have the greatest successes per capita. BUT I DIGRESS. In the blog, the writer describes women "falling for romantic acts" and getting repeatedly hurt. The women in question are not victims—they are volunteers!! Why cut slack for someone unwilling to cut it for themselves? What’s important? Is it the ACTS--the special moments, notes, gifts, attention? Or is it the ACTION--the "just knowing"...the bond...the stuff money can't buy (for long). Flowers are romantic. Plant the seeds and you'll have an idea of what to expect. They grow fast and are lovely, fragrant, but mostly decorative. In a few days, however, they must be replaced or trashed. Flowers are “romantic acts”. Trees don’t look like much at first, but if the gardener knows what kind of tree he/she planted, he will know much about its future. With patience, nurturing, pruning, this tree will grow to give shade, fruit or even become lumber for a beautiful home or piece of furniture. It may even become the paper on which a love letter or marriage license is printed. Trees are consistent, permanent, hard work—ACTION. So, ya want flowers? Fine…but require that they be planted at the base of a good tree! ~giggle

        Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
        Reply to this comment

Opinion

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Join Free

Coaching Testimonial

"My online love inspiration angel"

Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21

To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.

I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.

BOY WAS I WRONG!!

I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).

She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.

She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".

Find out more

Most Popular

Your Comments

Site links