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Marriage vs dating

Posted by Ria, 28 May

Is matrimony the golden ticket to a lifetime of great sex, meaningful conversations and a lifetime of blissful love? Most single people rush into it with the notion that this is how it’s going to be. But those who are mired in marriage know that once the hormone-induced endorphine wears off, marriage is pretty much your same old boring life. Only now, there’s another person to crowd you and take your space on the couch.

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Someone once said, “You know you’re really married when you quit holding your farts and burps in.᾿ Audible gas or not, most people agree that marriage is more challenging than dating.

When dating, everyone usually paints a picture of how marriage life will be… your spouse running about the house in lingerie, your man bringing you breakfast in bed…, your well mannered imaginary kids, family days out. And you definitely can’t forget the usual sending kids off to a friend’s place just to have quality time. I know the picture I have in mind… totally superficial.

Having seen my parents around each other, it’s like suddenly, they are brother and sister. It’s even hard to fathom that there was once all cuddly. Ever gone home and tried so hard to hear if your parents still have sex? Well someone told me that once you get married, the chemistry suddenly vanishes and all that is left is just care… no love.

Some woman said “whenever I talk about the truths of marriage, the married women in the audience all nod their heads and smile, but the singles tend to think I’m some jaded middle-aged woman who didn’t do it right᾿. During the courtship, everything your spouse says is funny… work woes and kooky relatives are all part of the fascination. But do you think those stories remain fascinating after 3 years of hearing same ol’ shit? So what if someone was to track us down 10 years from now? Will we single people be thinking the same?

Well apparently that’s marriage for you. The exciting things always fade, but the kinda boring stuff you don’t give much thought to, turn out to be really important. So what changes?

Tags: dating, marriage

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  1.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 10

    That cartoon is pretty funny,I will say this though Marriage='s OBLIGATION!!,Dating='s EXPERIMENTING!!. -Wonka Has Spoken!

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  2.   kissime says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 09

    I'm naturally a spontaneous & happy person. My ex-husband was a happy man with me. Even when we argued I was still on "fire" ;-). I took care of our son, cooked, cleaned, and remained faithful until I decided to leave for reasons I had nothing to do with. After I left he told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. But it was too late for us. I believe in marriage and family. And I also believe that one day a lucky man will be in my life--and hope I too will be a lucky woman to have such a wonderful man.

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  3.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 09

    @Toyotacamry, WOW WOW u sound guilty and that is sad

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  4.   TOYOTACAMRY says:
    Posted: 04 May 09

    Marriage is the stupidest, most overated thing ever created. My first and only marriage ended in divorce 5 years ago, and it left me in financial ruin. It favors the woman and if you have kids which i do, u become a check writing machine. Thank God I got back on my feet financially. I would rather be in a long term committed relationship than be married. Women stop having sex after they get married, it is the old bait and switch.

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  5.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 07

    mossimo, have you found your lady already?

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  6.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 26 Jun 07

    Why thank you!

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  7.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 24 Jun 07

    Great post Laugh Sailor

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  8.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 07

    Yes,mossimo,I think it would be not a problem. I also do not looking for this type of woman.

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  9.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 11 Jun 07

    Lol Thomas....if I wanted one I would find one. No thanks! Happy "Loving Day" everyone.....June 12!!

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  10.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 11 Jun 07

    Do you looking for this type of woman, mossimo?

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  11.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 07

    Congrats Dude!! Where are those types in the US?

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  12.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 07

    hold the press! I just found the girl of my dreams and we're getting married. She's chinese, and amongst her listed hobbies is professional pleasure giving. I couldn't be happier.

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  13.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 07

    hold the press! I just found the girl of my dreams and we're getting married. She's chinese, and amongst her hobbies if professional pleasure giving. I couldn't be happier.

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  14.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 07

    I haven't posted on here for ages.

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  15.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 07

    Marriage is a lotta work...just like having a 24/7 really really really really hard job!

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  16.   fala says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 07

    I think your 4 points are right on laugh_sailor.

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  17.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 07

    Very interesting, seehonesty

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  18.   seekhonesty says:
    Posted: 30 May 07

    I somewhat agree that when you get married, you tend to take things for granted. It's too easy to take for granted that your partner isnt going anywhere because you are married. It seems that there is that maybe element when you dont get married, for example, hey maybe i better put my makeup on and keep myself up because he could leave at any time for someone who does. I think you have to work harder when you are not married, as they dont have anything stopping them. I guess it could work both ways, i know married men who dont care they are married. I just feel that you do tend to try a little harder and take alot less for granted when they are not your husband.

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  19.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 30 May 07

    If poeple married a longer time they get experience in relationship. You can not always live like the first weeks of the relationship because you would collaps in a short time. Yes, it is routine in the relationship but it may not be boring because this would be the end. The couple have to work on the relationship all the time. Than they will be strong to get over hard times.

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  20.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 29 May 07

    Great post Laugh-Sailor. You make it sound like you are an expert :)

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  21.   Waylon says:
    Posted: 29 May 07

    Well said laugh_sailor. I don't think I could agree with you more. The spontineity that is present in dating is one of the main things that has always supported my relationships. I am lucky in the sense that I learned that attitude somewhere along the way. Dont get me wrong. I have my stubborn, precocious moods at times, we all do. But it is part of my personality to do the little things throughout the week, week after week, month after month. If both partners have that mentality, the relationship will likely last and endure the hard times with much more ease and bliss. Very good explanation.

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  22.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 29 May 07

    I think the thrill of a new romance is due to (perhaps among other factors): 1) Excitement of discovery (lover and experiences) 2) Appreciation (romantically and as a person, including commonalities) 3) Acceptance 4) Playfulness Most people, after establishing a relationship, don't work to keep these factors alive and so the relationship becomes boring: Particularly when habits form, further entrenching routine, which undermines spontaneous joy in each other - That's what romance is, isn't it? The solution is to make a habit of doing things that create this spontaneous joy - In a sense, it's like the Law of Attraction Ria's been writing about but it's stronger, due to the synergy of two people actively making their romantic fantasies real: If you act romantically, you will begin to think romantically (like you were when you were first dating) and this outlook then becomes a way of life - That storybook life we dream of. It takes both people but is a wonderfully bouyant process because you're both constantly affirming your love and appreciation and in doing so, keep that love very much alive. I've seen this in friends married for fifty years and flirting like teenagers. As we get to know each other, we can keep that newness alive by being creatively romantic with each other. Our discovery of our mate evolves from basic understanding to a deep joy in seeing the pleasure we take in each other, when we're pleasing the one we love. I love the outdoors and cooking, so picnics are a staple item, for me in this: A full picnic in bed if it's raining, complete with a flower or two in a vase - Just not knocking things over brings fun to the experience. Building wonderful memories keeps the delight of times past alive, so I like both spontaneous trips and stories about them, to keep the memories fresh. It takes work but I can't imagine a more pleasurable kind.

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