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Why are we turning first dates into a team sport?

Posted by Ria, 08 Oct

group.jpgWhen a pal of mine first fell in love with her future husband, she was terrified that he'd fancy me more than her because she has always thought that I was prettier. The other day, she admitted to me that she stopped meeting me when she was with him until she was sure that it was she he wanted.

Most women have a psychological blind spot. So when a guy at a bar is eyeing them off, they think he must be looking at the woman next to them. Well I understand my friend’s need to be territorial… she had to make sure she had bewitched him good and proper before letting him near her hottest pal Ria. ;-)

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The latest thing on the singles dating scene is group dating… inviting all your mates to join you on a first date. Group dating isn’t that new but its gaining popularity and people are now “turning dating into a team sport".

Doesn’t the thought just make you shiver? I just can't understand why anybody would intentionally turn their first date into a free-for-all kind of affair. Well, those who advocate for it don’t share the same sentiments with me. They insist that group dating “takes the pressure off couples and removes any awkwardness, or boredom, that might result from having to speak to the same person for more than a couple of minutes.᾿

This reminded me of a story of a lady who brought a bunch of her friends on her date without letting the guy know in advance. The results… the guy scattered and they had to organize some little fund-raising event to sort the bill.

Anyway, here's how group dating works… you gather a group of single acquaintances. You give yourselves a name and pay to post your profile on any of the growing number of group dating websites. Then you cross your fingers and hope a group of gentlemen will spot your profile and contact you to meet up for a big date, en masse.

Alternatively, check out some online calendar and see when and where the men of your choice will be, follow them there and crash their evening in the hopes that you will all pair up and walk hand-in-hand into the sunset.

Forgive me peeps but I think I would rather go the old fashioned way… and be territorial on my first date. Do you think that this kind of thing will only appeal to the under-18s and the deeply desperate?

If I have to do any group dating, then it has to be unplanned. Like when you're out with the girls and hook up with a bunch of men having their boys’ night and BAM! If you're lucky, you'll meet someone and plan a proper one-on-one first date.

Much as team dating removes the awkwardness as devotees put it, don’t you think one-on-one dating gives you a chance to impress with something other than your cleavage? And if it doesn’t work out, you won’t have to blame it on the guy checking out your hot friend on your team.

Would you turn your first date into some team sport?

Tags: group dating

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  1.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 10

    I dont believe in team dating. Thats a GROUP OUTING in my book. I think dating is something to be cautious about and selective. I tend to date rarely and selectively. Hmmmm, prolly less in my whole life than many have done in a week.

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  2.   blkbeauty31 says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 07

    wow!!! i dont think this is fair if the person is unaware... however, if everyone involved knows that the date is a group match effort, it can be fun!!! this reminds me of something i saw on television where every woman brought a single man she was not interested in to a party (you had to bring someone in order to gain entrance). anyway, the date could involve plenty of potential friends and mates and creates a fun social network ; ).

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  3.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 11 Oct 07

    I know that's right Fala!

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  4.   fala says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 07

    Oh, damn! Thanks for pointing that out Coco. D'oh! Yeah well I agree. Not as a first date, especially if your date isn't aware it's gonna be a group thing till the gang shows up. That's the worst kind of ambush.

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  5.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 07

    I think most are objecting Fala, because Ria specifically speaks of group dating on the first date. I don't think that is cool for the first date. As far as meeting up with friends on both sides, I don't see the harm in that as long as both parties agree that it's okay. If I am on a date with someone, and all of his friend showed up and invited themselves to our table, then no, I would not be cool with that. No one wants to feel as though they are on display.

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  6.   fala says:
    Posted: 10 Oct 07

    I don't know what everyone objects to it so much. As long as everyone knows in advance that it's going to be a group thing - it can be fun to be out with a bunch of different friends. Different people and personalities bring something new to the conversations. You and your significant other can always get alone time.

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  7.   TriChique says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 07

    First date, nope. If you meet while on a group outing, then, okay. But a planned date where you bring along the whole 'crew' no way.

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  8.   fala says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 07

    I wouldn't make a team date a first date, but I've met a few people from online and group meet and greets. Those are always fun and you get to meet as friends first so there's no pressure and everyone can relax and be themselves.

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  9.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 07

    Group date? No way Ria hot?? Smokin!!!

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  10.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 08 Oct 07

    I would never bring friends along on a first date. Seems to me you'd have to be pretty insecure to do that, and it might leave your date with the wrong impression of you. After all, they asked YOU out, not your gang.

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