Why you should never settle for a man

Posted by Ria, 27 Apr

You have been in this lengthy relationship for years with a man you aren't really sure you want to spend the rest of your life with. Finally you get the guts to walk away... and you move on. But after a couple of years apart, it suddenly hits you: You re in your mid 30s and still not married. All the hoping from man to man in those years clearly hasn't borne fruit. So you have a serious Q&A with yourself and you finally decide you are better off with the familiar ex than alone. So you run back to him with a poetic composition and luckily he takes you back.

Settling is easy... easier than hoping from date to date, from man to man in search for the right man. Who wants to keep waiting for this ideal man who clearly seems not to be crossing your dating path, right? So why not just marry the man who is on your path... right in front of you? Do you have it in you to run the lengthy miles of being married to this guy? Are you prepared to bear the consequences of your decision to settle? Well, here is what could happen as a result of settling:

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

So you give in to pressure from family and friends. So you lower the bar and you marry the next guy or the guy who seems available and good enough since he can meet a few of your needs and wants - marriage first... your needs and standards last. The thing is, after you get married and the pressure is no longer there, what you are left with is a man you were kind of 'arm-twisted' to marry... not a man who meets your standards for a life partner.

You start feeling shortchanged. Some of his personal traits annoy the hell out of you. At this point, its very easy for you to cheat. And you end up cheating with a man that meets those standards you once ignored for pressure. And you don't feel guilty because: For once, you feel like you are doing something for yourself. And when your marriage falls apart even further, you make no effort to salvage it because you have this dire need to just DO BETTER!!!

Then there is the biological clock pressure... You just want babies and a man who can give them to you FAST! But once his "sperm donor" job is done, he will definitely get a woman who wants more from him that the sperm. And as much as you have your babies who love you dearly, you find yourself lonely sometimes, wishing you had someone to love you as a woman, not as a mother.

Some women also settle for a men as crutches to offer emotional and financial support. But once this phase is over and they become stable as an individual, they start despising the man and taking his providing for granted. Some of these women end up looking for a men whose sole purpose in a relationship isn't just fulfilling their needs. On the other hand, the man could just realize and get tired of being used. So he leaves you for a woman who loves him for real and you end up shocked and broken hearted.

Yes the wait may be too long to bear. But would you rather settle?

1 responses to "Why you should never settle for a man"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   Hugznkss says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 15

    I can't and won't settle for the sole reason - 'I know me'. It would ultimately end badly.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment