Man, Aged 52 in USA, Texas, Dallas
Looking for a: Woman, Aged 35 - 55, Any Ethnicity
"Make me an offer I can't refuse!!!"
- My ethnicity isBlack
- Body typeAverage build
- Have childrenNo children
- SmokingHate smoking
- DrinkingDrink socially
How would you describe yourself?
PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE OPRAH WINFREY'S CLAIM
THAT YOU WILL INSTANTLY BECOME FRIGID
IF YOU GRIN, GIGGLE, OR LAUGH HYSTERICALLY WHILE READING MY PROFILE.
ACCORDING TO THE RICHARD PRYOR THINK TANK,
99% OF ALL SEX THERAPISTS SAY LAUGHTER IS AN APHRODISIAC
100 TIMES MORE POWERFUL THAN "LOVE POTION NUMBER 9".
I've got Denzel's dimples, Magic Johnson's smile,
Barack Obama's gift of gab and guile.
I've got Jim Brown's body, Malcolm X's brain,
And I just say "NO" to drugs and cocaine!
I need a kind hearted woman who won't try to make me her bi*ch after I say the "L-O-V-E" word. I want a woman whose laughter is contagious. And like Section A, Paragraph 2 of our pre-nuptial agreement says,
"A WOMAN WHO ENJOYS TOPICAL, STIMULATING CONVERSATION JUST AS MUCH AS I DO".
I'm basically a t-shirt and jeans kinda guy, but will wear a custom tailored Armani tuxedo for Star Trek conventions, drive-by poetry slams between Crips and Bloods, or half-price Big Mac night at MacDonald's.
I thought I looked wholesome and clean-cut, until the Republican Tea Party used my driver's license photo in their smear campaign against president Barack Obama. They claimed I was the lone gunman on the grassy knoll who forged president Obama's signature on Osama Bin Laden's death certificate.
Last book read... The deliciously sexistential novel "Killing Johnny Fry" by Walter Mosley.
Last lady kissed... Well, a gentleman never tells.
Which is why I made campaign promises to all unregistered voters that I would NEVER invite Sarah Palin to a JaneFonda-AngelaDavis-GloriaSteinem power breakfast.
I'm financially secure, but nobody's sugar daddy. I'll pay your way to the "Let's-Be-Friends-First" debutante ball at Buckingham Palace, if you'll pay my way to the "Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'am" orgy at the Playboy mansion. So come prepared to pay your own way when I invite you to VIP events like the $2. 00 bargain matinee at the Butt Bugger Boogie strip club, or Bingo night at the Hallelujah-Sock-It-To-Ya-Charge-'Em-Admission-Then-Give-'Em-Religion church.
My romance novel about interracial dating made Superman confess he was Aunt Jemima's boy toy. My love poem about Snoop Dogg divorcing Tokyo Rose to get engaged to Jennifer Lopez made O. J. Simpson re-affirm his marriage vows with Miss Piggy. All you haters of interracial couples,
My Godfather will call upon you at midnight to arrange our duel at dawn... PLEASE REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR DULLEST KNIFE TO OUR GUNFIGHT!!!
Last but not least..."RELEASE THE KRACKEN!!!"
Because by unanimous voice vote, every creature on Noah's ark elected me lifetime president of the Society For The Prevention Of Cruelty To Animals. Which is why I love God's noble and majestic animals, but I hate Satan's spoiled and unruly pets. PLEASE don't expect me to cuddle with your python, bring a bouquet of flowers to your Tasmanian Devil, or French kiss your great white shark. Likewise, I refuse to donate blood to your vampire bat. I will not submit to a credit history check by your frugal poodle, nor will I endure a personality compatibility test with your trash talking parrot. I'm extremely nervous around any cute l'il critter named "Adolf", "Psycho", or "The Terminator". The biggest lie told about a pet is: "He/She won't bite, pee in your car, or hump your leg."
Have a nice day... Praise the Lord and pass the K-Y Jelly!
And remember, only YOU can prevent forest fires.
Because candid communication is essential for a committed relationship.
Which is why I pimp slapped Rush Limbaugh when he tried to crash a Black Panther Party
Fund raiser by claiming he was the love child of Malcolm X and Rosa Parks.
I am looking for...
A vestal virgin from the Temple Of Born Again Ex-Porn Stars
Who can perform every Heimlich Maneuver shown on page 69 of the Kama Sutra.
***PRIVACY NOTICE*** Warning to any person and/or institution using this website or any of its associated websites: You do NOT have my permission to utilize any of my profile content contained herein including but not limited to my photos. You are hereby notified that you are strictly prohibited from disclosing, copying, distributing, disseminating, or taking any other action with regard to this profile and the contents herein. The foregoing prohibitions also apply to your employee(s), agent(s), student(s) or any personnel under your direction or control. The contents of this profile are private, legally privileged, and confidential. Violation of my personal privacy is punishable by law and will be prosecuted to the fullest extent.***
- Want childrenUndecided about wanting children
- Eye colorBrown
- Hair colorBlack
- EducationBachelors degree
- RelocationI'd relocate within my country
- Ideally I'd live in aHouse in the suburbs/Beach house
- My fashion sense isDress according to the occasion
- My sense of humor isLight-hearted - I like cheerful, gentle fun
- When I go to partiesI go with the flow
- On a day off, I enjoyA cultural outing such as museum or gallery/Curling up with a good book/Pursuing a hobby/Watching TV or a movie
- I attend religious servicesNever
- When it comes to workI'm retired
"Chance Of A Lifetime"
It was a chance meeting but the chance of a lifetime. I am happy, content and satisfied in every way imaginable with my vivacious lady read more
Pennsylvania, United States