Somewhere beyond this nonsense you were the Eves. Initiators of esoteric secret and keepers of botanical knowledge. I seek something that has been seemingly within reach but nonetheless elusive.

Before you read the rest of this profile you should know two things. 1) You will most likely read something that will offend you. 2) Even though you will probably never hear these things said out loud by anyone, more guys feel the same way about you than you can imagine. I mean, ya really gotta dig deep if you want to find this kinda honesty. What else can I say besides, "You came looking for it." ?

Is this interracial dating, or international dating? I can't tell anymore, but I'm pretty sure there aren't really this many girls in central Africa interested me. I sure as hell am not interested in them. Something just doesn't seem right. This site is full of fake profiles & they're pretty easy to spot if you know what to look for. Moving on...

"'Fun' has become the single last bastion, the irreproachable emblem, of modern life. All other values, all indicators of a civilized, sane society, are sacrificed and forgotten, considered 'boring' - whilst 'fun' rules with a ruthless and unchallenged supremacy." --Anna Freeman

Why do so many of you have such monstrous egos? I use the word "monstrous" both literally and figuratively. It's not cute & your face, butt & boobs don't make up for it. If I can not doubt the sh't you say, does freedom exist?

I don't want "Separated" anywhere near me. Go finish off that failed marriage first, then maybe we can talk. Also, women with children... I'm open to the idea, but only under certain criteria. Let's just leave it at that for now. Another thing, if you think you are going to get to know me via text messaging then you need to pull your head out of the sand and realize some simple facts. Texting is the most inefficient way of getting to know someone and it's only real value is in sending short simple messages such as, "I'm ready to go now." It ranks up there on the list of 'dumb ways to communicate in the new millennium' right behind Morse code and carrier pigeons. I'll email you over and over and over and over again, if necessary, but you can shove your unlimited text plan where the sun doesn't shine because I'm not about to play hide n seek games in your walled garden.

I'm looking for someone who's kinda like me in some ways. Someone with a sense of honor and duty to life itself, not just to themselves or some pop-culture ideals of how things should be. I need someone I can enjoy broadening my horizons with. Someone who likes mushrooms on their pizza, if you catch my drift. It would also be a plus if she can tell when I'm just joking around. When we find each other, we can walk to the nearest Waffle House, which just happens to be right next to the nearest strip club. My ex-girlfriend's ex-girlfriend (from my last job) works there and she will hook us up with hot waffles and peanut butter. By the way, if you recently noticed that they now serve the aforementioned delicacy you can thank yours truly for planting that seed many moons ago. It's no coincidence, I assure you.

If I can't find that special person, I'll settle for someone with a good stripper name who thinks that their personality makes them unique. If she pokes her lips out in all her pictures and plans on taking over the world one red carpet at a time, that would be wonderful. So, if you're obsessed with material success, and generally blind to the damage you inflict on the world around you at large then holla at a mug. At least then I'd know the entire encounter would be superficial and I wouldn't have to waste time caring what you think or respecting you at all.

Is the English language really that difficult? There are so many women here who can barely write it, legibly, and it's their native tongue!! WTF is up with that? If English is your second or third language, then I applaud you. Good luck with the rest of your efforts.

Here's what I think (in parenthesis) when I'm reading stuff around here "in quotations".

"drama free" --- (i don't believe it for a minute)

"well traveled" --- (that doesn't mean you're well informed)

"well informed" --- (that doesn't mean you're well informed)

"treat me like a queen" --- (i don't heed to the rule of monarchy)

"looking for my prince or king" -- (looking for your incest thing?)

"I'm a go-getter" --- (well then get going)

"I'm funny" --- (who's laughing?)

"love to have fun" --- (never heard that one before)

"love to laugh" --- (you love to be entertained)

"spoiled, grown and sexy, fashionista, etc" --- (change your diaper)

"very spontaneous" -c===B lowMe

"i love music!" --- (no sh*t Sherlock, who doesn't?)

"live, laugh, love" --- (what is this, attack of the brain-eating zombie clones?)

"extravagantly approaching each day with zest" --- (enough with the cliché)

"living life to the fullest" --- (what did I just say about cliché?)

Another overused phrase around here by half-wits is...

___ is key.

Patience is key. Passion is key. Attitude is key. Chemistry is key. Substance is key. Respect is key. Trust is key. Honesty is key. Ambition is key. Positivity is key. Affection is key. Key key key key KEY KEY KEY!!

What the f***ing f**k are you looking for? A janitor? Are you a spare key? Because you are all practically clones.

I rarely go a day without hearing one of the following phrases.

"I can't stand you."

"You make me sick."

"Get outta my face."

"I think you've had enough."

"Give me the keys."

I don't see anything attractive about being a total contradiction to one's own words and ideals. It's appalling to see how many of you think being this way is a badge of honor. I have ripped rappers apart with more words per minute than you can hear in a speed reading school but if you use terms like swag, dis, dat, da, keep it real, or any other similar crap then do not contact me. I swear to the borderlander blood in my veins I will not tolerate the ignorance and filth that spews forth from that wretched "culture" for five seconds. Outside of the likes of KRS-One, Def Jux, or true Old School artists I couldn't care less about the entire genre anymore, nor your opinion if you are offended by these remarks. If you don't get it, click the red X, find a boat with a hole & jump in it.

One thing that cracks me up to see around here is the following sentence...

"I like older established white men because they know what they want and... Blah blah blah... I'm basically a prostitute." (I added the last part)

And what the hell is with all you "sexy nerds" popping up all of a sudden. Does the concept of integrity and honesty mean anything to you? Real nerds & geeks never acted like you fake twats & they also don't believe your front for a fraction of a second. Those glasses you sport aren't going to hide your fraud. When you're an idiot, it stands out no matter what fashionable accessories you try to hide behind.

One final point I'd like to make to those who describe themselves in a nutshell... Doesn't that make you a complete nut? And if anything you've read here has you inflamed, outraged, or doubting yourself, then you're probably onto something. If you're laughing, then we are probably both on the same 'something'.

Well, that just about does it. My presentation is finally grinding to a halt. I paid for it, so if you don't like it then boo-hoo for you. Get off my property. The time has come to make a decision. May your conscience be your guide when casting your vote, even though I'm not running, pedaling, hopping, skipping or jumping for office. In parting I present you with a nugget of knowledge to help you through tough times. If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

OK... One last declaration to make. I have my own business in Georgia. Doubt I'll be taking over the rest of the North American market anytime soon, so traveling for dates is not on my agenda. If you want to travel here to meet me that's great. If you think we should be together, just realize that it will require you to relocate. I love what I do, so outside of some miraculous change of events this is the way things are.

Enjoy the music...

"Romeo And The Lonely Girl" by Thin Lizzy

Romeo and the lonely girl

They seemed to hit it off

Till Romeo told the lonely girl

"I must take my leave, my love"

It was these few words I overheard

And thought, "I should move in"

But before I could

The lonely girl had fallen in love again

Oh poor Romeo

Sitting out on his own-ee-o

Oh poor Romeo

Romeo he had it rough

The guy you'd like to burn

But everything that Romeo had

You can bet it was well earned

For all his good looks there were scars that he took

And a lesson to be learned

Never judge lovers by a good looking covers

The story might be spurned

Oh poor Romeo

Sitting out on his own-ee-o

Oh poor Romeo

Romeo he like to put it around

He was everybody's friend

But in the end even Romeo found

On no one could he depend

For all his charms in someone else's arms

Lonely girl safely lay

When the train pulled in it had to leave again

And Romeo pulled away

Oh poor Romeo

Sitting all on his own-ee-o

Oh poor Romeo

Here's a quote from Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

"Most of us spend many hours each week watching celebrated athletes playing in enormous stadiums. Instead of making music, we listen to platinum records cut by millionaire musicians. Instead of making art, we go to admire paintings that brought in the highest bids at the latest auction. We do not run risks acting on our beliefs, but occupy hours each day watching actors who pretend to have adventures, engaged in mock-meaningful action. This vicarious participation is able to mask, at least temporarily, the underlying emptiness of wasted time. But it is a very pale substitute for attention invested in real challenges. The flow experience that results from the use of skills leads to growth; passive entertainment leads nowhere. Collectively we are wasting each year the equivalent of millions of years of human consciousness. The energy that could be used to focus on complex goals, to provide enjoyable growth, is squandered on patterns of stimulation that only mimic reality."

Marinate on that.

"Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter. Lullabies, dreams and love ever after. Poems and songs with pipes and drums. A thousand welcomes when anyone comes... That's the Irish for you!"