Most women can’t stand their men’s constant nagging about the extra pounds they have gained. Sometimes it makes them eat more instead of shedding the pounds. Some woman’s hubby used to nag her about her weight but whenever she finally dropped her weight, the dude bought her cookies. And their marriage ended in divorce after the weight loss.
Telling your partner its time for them to go on a diet can be very tricky. Given the fact that almost 2/3 of US adults are overweight, this is an issue we cant run away from. Don’t get me started on the marriage penalty problem - apparently on average after the “I do”, most people gain six to nine more pounds than their single counterparts.
Much as we hate being given the talk or giving it, its worth it. Packing on the pounds can not only affect one’s health, but also weigh on the relationship. Despite you finding your spouse physically unappealing, he or she may not feel attractive enough to be physically intimate with you.
So, how do you tell your spouse to go on a diet without coming off as nagging or doing more damage to the situation?
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Comment by lala2qz on 20 October 2008:
Well, with my boyfriend, when he had gotten a little out of shape, I brought up the subject subtly. Definently wouldnt say I nagged, thats something I just dont do. and besides i didnt have to, he knew well ahead of time that chubby is just not my thing. Im lucky because I have never had to worry about my figure, good metabolism, genes, and Ive always been pretty active and even when Im not I just dont gain weight. But that’s besides the point. Staying in shape is just something thats good for you, so your partner shouldnt take it the wrong way as long as you’re not mean or cruel about it. And you know…. I didnt know cookies make you balloon in the weight department unless you overdo it, she must not know how to eat in moderation when the temptation arises. Thats more so her fault than his, I love Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but that doesnt mean if someone bought 3 dozens for me that I would eat them all right then. If you’re someone with a weight problem, then you should know better, when you have your goodies you should enjoy it, and simply take a walk or do something that will burn it off.
Comment by party1 on 20 October 2008:
FELLAS,,,,,DO NOT under any circumstances tell your girlfriend or spouse to go on a diet!!!!
Pffffttt this was a No Brainer fer me
Comment by lala2qz on 22 October 2008:
you’re so very right, I dont think any female could take you telling them to go on a diet nicely, lol. but it shouldnt hurt if you hint at the fact that theyre getting a buddha belly early on. as long as you arent crude or malicious.
do it at your own risk, and bring it up because you care about their health. and dont nag, noone likes that. and at times, it doesnt really help.
Comment by Irishguy1983 on 22 October 2008:
It is one dumb arse man that tells a woman to go on a diet!!
Comment by Irishguy1983 on 22 October 2008:
It is one dumb arse man that tells a woman to go on a diet!!No matter how tactfull or polite you are about it… I think the best thing is to begin eating more healthy yourself and suggest the gym for some dates. Or like me you could just like a woman with curves!
Comment by Gaone on 22 October 2008:
Different women would react differently to being told to go on a diet by their boyfriends or husbands. A few would would appreciate it and take it a sign that their partner cares about their well-being, but most women take it as an insult. It all depends on how the man brings it up, if he say “honey you need to go on a diet” is equivalent to just saying “you are fat” which is just a HUGE slap on the face. Try a fun active life in the relationship , play tennis together, go to the gym together, go hiking, cycling etc.
Comment by lala2qz on 22 October 2008:
exactly, which is why I said that I dont think any woman would take telling her to go on a diet the right way. I’m only saying that it wouldnt hurt to hint at the fact that they are getting chubby. especially if you do it in a playful way, point in case was when I was 13 and my mother said I was getting the jello booty. I thought it was funny, but then I started to think “wait a minute…… oh yeah it does look really big” and I didnt take what she said the wrong way at all, its a mental thing, you say one thing and it leads to thoughts of another. So when you suggest yoga together or something to do with fitness, they’ll be more willing. And nothing wrong with curves, they’re beautiful, but I do believe this is more about fat rolls and an unhealthy amount of fat.
Comment by lovelybbw on 22 October 2008:
Well… speaking from the perspective of a LARGE and LOVELY woman, its been my experience that men will reject me for my weight. Sad but true. It hurts, especially if you have an attraction to the man.
Comment by Eiane54 on 23 October 2008:
I find that if you have a shallow mate then they are shallow and will always one reason or another to be dissatisfied. Many of us develop bad eating habits from out work schedules and when we become parents especially women. Physiologically we tend to gain weight as we get older and that is a sad but true fact of life so many people have to eat less and do more exercise. There are also people who gain more easily than others especially after years of yo yo dieting. The subject can be approached but one must be tactful. I see many more men with beer bellies and thin wives and maybe they should be approached as well. I suppose a man would need a thinner wife when he appears to be six or seven months pregnant himself. People usually make changes when “they” decide it is time for a change until that happens ladies lose the weight that is nagging you ( your mate) and you can start to work on yourself for you. Remember before any diet or exercise routine consult your physician.
Comment by Eric_T on 24 October 2008:
I think that finding a habit that both can enjoy is probably the absolutely best way to approach this problem. Me and my lady friend found the perfect weight loss hobby…, meth!
I kid, I kid.
Comment by juicyfruit74 on 26 October 2008:
I am a plus size woman myself and I have not experienced the nagging about loosing weight from any man, but I do notice that if your not the tall, slim woman, you’ll get overlooked. This is such a touchy subject and most of us woman has gained our weight having children and its never left. I just feel that if you want your significant other to loose a few pounds, then it should be done as a joint effort.
Comment by lina822 on 3 November 2008:
women are very sensitive especially when it comes to their physical appearance. there is a diplomatic way of delivering the message.. well politely ask her to join you for a jog or walk(its actually very healthy and romantic) then with time she will get into the system of jogging.or hint about the gym! but dieting doesnt really work and its very frustrating if you dont achieve the end results. moral support is hey here
Comment by changeagent3 on 12 December 2008:
Make sure to start with “we,” as in we need to eat a more healthy diet. Add joint exercise daily and vigorous recreational activities on your days off. If you are both working together to invest in each other long term, what harm can come from that?
Comment by lovelybbw on 14 December 2008:
…Well per my earlier response on this subject,in the approaching new year, dieting is my number one priority, due to weightloss surgery! Reject can drive a woman to take drastic measures! LOL