Since I met my husband online, people are always asking me how we met. Old folks are shocked when I tell them. “That really works?” is something I hear from the older marrieds. People under 50 are hip to it, but it’s amazing how many of my single girlfriends don’t want to pay for a membership! I roll my eyes and remind them what it did for me, but the 66 cents a day—what they charge at the best sites—is not the point. For God’s sake, my Starbucks habit puts that to shame! No, it’s part of that traditional gender role thing, where women instinctively expect to be courted from start to finish. You shouldn’t have to pursue anyone and romance shouldn’t have a price tag attached. I get it. As the song goes, “they say all the best things in life are free…” Well, they must have entered an arranged marriage.
Anyway, my friends will pay big bucks for pilates, mani pedis, waxing, gym memberships, shoes and skin cream… Many of those things are purchased with the admitted ulterior motive of helping them land a good man. But subscribe to a dating site? “No, I shouldn’t have to do that.” You have to pluck your eyebrows, do endless ab crunches and overhaul your wardrobe every season, but another little fee on your credit card? That’s too much.
Ladies, we can’t wait for Prince Charming to ride up in his white Mercedes. Time flies and we have to be proactive. Like anything in life, if you want something, you have to take action to get it.
For me, I used to think going out was that action. But I gave up my club-girl ways because so many of the guys I was meeting were too aggressive. I felt like an antelope being tussled over by lions. I tried online dating when all that stopped being so much fun (plus, the hangovers were making me substantially less fabulous). I bought a subscription because whether it’s a marathon, a promotion or a man, if I’m going for something, I’m going for it.
It was nice to feel safe and sound at my computer instead of vulnerable to the clumsy mating dance of some guy who’s had enough Red Bull and vodka to grow horns. Online, you can talk to anyone you want and wear your p.j.s while you do it (until graduating to video chat, which is awesome, but does require the appropriate pre-chat preening).
If I’d had a free membership, I don’t know if I would have ever met my husband because I’m the one who contacted him (he says he would have found me, but I have a hunch he was chasing blondes before we met). You see, free members don’t get to pick who they talk to. They can reply to a message or send a flirt, but they can’t email someone directly.
When I found my future husband’s profile, I just knew he was special. I couldn’t understand why he was on the site, let alone single. I was sure he’d be gone the next day, snatched up by some woman who couldn’t believe her luck (probably a blonde). Now, I have a certain type and I know that not every girl would swoon for him the way I did, but all I knew was I didn’t want to let this catch bite another hook while I was sitting here hoping he responded to my generic flirt. Thank GOD I was a subscriber and could write to him right away. He answered within an hour. We had our first phone conversation about three hours after I saw his profile for the first time. Our first date was two days later, on Friday, and by Sunday night I was canceling other dates.
Sometimes, you just KNOW.
I don’t even know why people bother with free memberships. It sends the message that you aren’t serious about your search for “The One.” Do you think my husband I sit around the house saying “I wish we hadn’t had to pay those subscription fees for the site that brought us together?” Yeah, no. Do we wish we’d met at the grocery store or at church instead? You just don’t think like that when you’re in love. You’ll take it any way you can get it. You’re just happy to have it…
Life isn’t picture-perfect and neither is romance. But once love is yours, anything you had to do will seem well worth it.
Nice story, and I agree. But what gets me is when men actually post in their profile that they are not a paying member so we must e-mail them first. It does make you wonder if some men on here are serious whether they pay for a membership or not. The first thing that comes to my mind is that if you are to cheap to pay for a membership to meet your soul mate. Will you be that cheap when you meet and go put with that special person. I hope that I find and meet my soul mate before some blonde does also.
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I’m a paing member, so far no luck at all.
I wonder if this article might be fake? It seems
like a good way to sell more paid memberships.
But don’t mind me lonelyness has made me cynical.
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I may be wrong but when you compare this site to other sites, it is easy to conclude that this site is awesome and worth paying for the membership!
Besides, by paying for the membership, guys you may be sending a subtle message, that you are serious, to all the beautiful women who may be interested in you.
So, guys, skip a launch or two and save the money and use it to pay and see what happens. Make the move now!
May 2012 help all of us to find the right mate and be happy!
Yeeeaaah!
Good luck!
BOLO BIKKO, NEW YORK
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Is that really “queenb” in the photo? Or is that a model and photo of someone else?
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the woman in the photo would give any blonde some heavy competition!
Is that really “queenb”? Because it if it is not, and she is single, I would like to message her.
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I was a paid member..but i stopped to make contacts a long time ago.Had it stated on profile i was a paid member and reasons for not contacting HIM (wherever he should be) I said if he wants to be found he will contact me and he DID. I am over the moon!!!
@bolobikko i agree with you
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Amen!!!!
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Why do so many men on this site send flirts and messages that do not fall within the parameters and characteristics of the man you are looking for. Men who are way over the age limits. Men who have a lot of kids. Men who are over-weight. I have taken the time to educate myself. Keep myself physically fit. I have a career and I work very hard. i think I am attractive and have high morals and standard I live by. I feel there is nothing wrong to want someone who is equally yoked. To be compatible with me. I should not have to lower my standard to appease a prospective partner.
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I am glad you said that. I 100% agree with you. I am the same way & its frustrating. I like fitness to my bone but some guys I don’t think they read a profile & understand what someone says they are looking for. Sometimes I have been made to give interesting responds to some guys.
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I agree..most men do not read your profile much less the age range one is looking for..there are alot of players on this site!!!
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Hello, I haven’t had any luck on this site. I was a free member for 4 months then I became a paid member about 3 weeks ago. I’ve emailed and flirted with many guys but no one has really caught my interest. The guys thats been emailing me are Either my grandfather age, weird, or playing games. Idk. Its so hard these days to find a Mr Right. Be blessed-
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Hello, no luck for me yet. But i do enjoy this site, i have had a good amount of responses, but not anyone that i am interested in but i know i will. some are looking for barbie, some are looking for that knight in shinning amour, neither are real. So as we continue our search for love and happiness, look for the heart.That is where your love and happiness awaits you.
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I read the comments here and I just have to ask…is it because the ones the you want to respond that are not responding that you seem to say that you have no luck? Usually that is the disappointing thing to most….we want what we want and never think that we are what someone else wants but they are outside of our/your arena. No one has to lower their standards here but you would need to understand that you will get the frogs/dogs/wizards and whatnot before you find your mate/significant other/boyfriend or whatever floats your boat. I say be patient…he/she is out there and probably saying/thinking the same thing you are. Love is slow, kind, patient and best part of having the best damn sex in the world….just my two cents.
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