Some people cringe at the mere mention of online dating. One major thing that makes them cringe is online dating safety. These days even thoughsome people are scared, many people more are turning to their computers to find love and a lasting relationship come from online dating.
Online dating is a fun and effective way to meet people and build relationships. It is no less safe that meeting people in the traditional ways. Just like any form of dating, we get to come across a few wackos while undertaking this search for relationships and love.
Police around the Lower Mainland are looking for the guy pictured here, for the suspected harassment of women online. According to New Westminster Police, Bradley Paul Joy is accused of criminally harassing a woman he met online.
Other police are also looking for him for multiple charges…forcible confinement by Surrey RCMP, failing to comply with a probation order by Ridge Meadows RCMP, and breach-of-probation plus criminal harassment and forcible confinement by Mounties in Alberta. Police say the charges involve separate complaints from different women.
A woman, who met Joy online, says he started showing up at her door, phoning non-stop, and harassing her shortly thereafter. As most of the information he provided in his profile was false the police don’t have an address for him, which makes tracking him down a bit difficult.
For the best possible experience, you just have to use common sense to protect yourself when dating online. While you are getting started and just getting to know people, refrain from putting very personal info like your real name, e-mail address, personal website or address or phone number coz this can bring about the wrong people. Our site even let’s you use an anonymous phone service so you never have to give out your own number. You could even consider purchasing a disposable cell phone so you can “lose” the number if you have any problems.
Once you have made a connection with someone online, it’s always a good idea to speak on the phone first. For online dating safety, our site even let’s you use an anonymous phone service so you never have to give out your own number. You should consider purchasing a disposable cell phone so you can “lose” the number if you have any problems. It also means your address can’t be traced from the phone number.
The best thing about online dating is that you have the upper hand and you can move at a pace you are comfortable with. To get the most out of it and have a positive experience, you need to stay safe. Take your time so you don’t fall into such traps.
Have fun dating and take care.
Tags: online dating harassment, black women black men, black dating site
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Comment by Mish on 22 October 2007:
Wow that is so crazy , knowing the person for a short amount of time you should not be foolish enough to tell them where you live .Always meet in a public place etc.
Comment by HapppyKitty65 on 23 October 2007:
I must have a guardian angel because I’ve never had problems like that from anyone I’ve met online. I feel for the women he harassed. I hope they don’t lose their faith in people.
Comment by cocokisses on 23 October 2007:
I agree Mish…and always drive your own car. If it doesn’t work out, you can certainly leave.
Comment by fala on 23 October 2007:
You have to be extra careful when you deal with meeting people online. Meet during the day, at a place you’re familiar with. Make sure someone knows where you’re going, who you’re going to meet and when you will be back. Include that person’s online name, real name (if you have it), email, and phone number. Email it to a friend so they won’t lose it. Have a safe message or emergency message to send that person if things turn out ok or bad.
I know it sounds extreme but a girl’s gotta be careful out there. Always have somebody watching your back.
Comment by laugh_sailor on 23 October 2007:
A gal I dated from here called her friend while we were on our date - She had that friend ready to come by to check up on her at the coffee shop, if there was no call by a specified time - I thought that was a great idea.
Comment by hoganfanb on 24 October 2007:
There is “No Fun,” in on line dating, the fun and desire comes from within!
Comment by hoganfan on 24 October 2007:
And to top it off, no one can spell!
Comment by No Stalkers Please on 24 October 2007:
I have been dating online for the last 6 years and although I haven’t met anyone in person, I have had plenty of stalkers from one site to the other. Now I am afraid to meet anyone in person; so I may never find anyone online. I am praying Mr. Right is out there somewhere.
Be safe everyone!
God bless
Comment by fala on 24 October 2007:
No Stalkers Please: don’t be afraid, be smart. There are some really good people out there, you just have to play it safe.
Comment by krisshan on 26 October 2007:
Thank God I haven’t had an online stalker. I’ve had a couple offline and it is one of the worst feelings. Everyday i’d walk to my car hoping that when I pressed keyless entry remote to my car or started my car up, that it didn’t explode. Believe me, ladies–there are dogs, and then there are crazy dogs….and they don’t always foam at the mouth!!
Comment by cqueen4u2 on 26 October 2007:
I had recently ad a similar where a man I men online tried to corn me of some cash and I think with the other info we have exchanged he will try & use it for identity theft. He has given me some of his information which proves to be false info. Anyone can assist in where can I report this person maybe he maybe linked to some crimes he has commited already or about to commit. Just that we have to try and stop to be overtrsting cause they are so many sharks out there and I think some of the sites are protecting the criminals as well. So ladies we have to be extra careful.
Comment by blkbeauty31 on 27 October 2007:
morning ria!!! i agree with “no stalkers please”. i’ve been into on-line dating for nearly 3 years and some of the behavior i’m encountering is disturbing such as; dishonesty, stalking, and sexual harrassment. this makes me go thru periods where i dont think i’ll meet anyone in person because it can be much to dangerous.
Comment by greenpumpkin on 27 October 2007:
Wow - showing up at people’s houses? Why do people give their home address?
I’ve been lucky not to have met any psychos, or people asking me for my address/number after day 1.
Comment by mossimo on 27 October 2007:
No stalkers here, although I met a few who were very interesting to put it mildly.
Comment by TriChique on 28 October 2007:
Scary, I hope they catch the guy.
But you all are right, be careful, not stupid.
Comment by greenpumpkin on 28 October 2007:
Yes there can be some interesting people online, if given a chance.
Comment by krisshan on 29 October 2007:
dude doesn’t really look stalkerish-which proves my point.
shoo, shoo, git boy! LEMME GIT MY BROOM!!
Comment by mossimo on 30 October 2007:
Interesting can be bad too….just like this loser above
Comment by Nick Carter on 1 November 2007:
I went to an all boys high school. Freshman year we had a computer-date dance with the three all-girl schools in the area. I filled out my card and went to the dance with my buddies. None of us qualified as players for sure. We were are a bit nervous. Each of us had received a card with computer codes matching our matches. My friends were not sure how to start. I told them to just find a young lady they were attracted to, ask what her code is. Then look at your list as if trying to find her number, pretend to find it and take it from there. I tried this strategy out and walked up to the prettiest gal I saw. She wore a red and white polka dot dress. I asked for her code, and I’ll be d**ned. It was, for real, right at the top of my list. We dated for a while and remained friends all throughout high school.
Ahh! Simpler times. As a man, I am not so fearful of meeting stalkers online. Even so, it can be disruptive at best to be the object of someone’s obsession.
I don’t it is all that different dating someone from a website than dating anyone whom you’ve just met. Caution is the key. I wouldn’t give out my address. I would meet in a public place. I might have back up just in case (and certainly would if I was a woman). I am more willing to give out a little more information about myself to make a woman feel a little safer, so she can arrange her back up. I think that’s what a gentleman does.
Comment by Ladyaly on 3 November 2007:
this happened to me, but thank god he didn’t know where i live, but the phone calls and text messages, at one point i had to get rid on my number, i guess we cannot never know really how a person will turn out, but we have to be careful of who we talk to.
Comment by ladyaly on 4 November 2007:
i do agree with interesting can be bad, and sometimes, when something sounds too good to be tru to us, we don’t think of the bad, we just jump right in.
Comment by Learned my lesson on 6 November 2007:
I’ve had a relationship with a man I met on A/R who has been diagnosed with ADD, bipolar and passive-aggressive tendencies. He won me over with his intelligence, charm, wit and good looks. He fits all the characteristics of a sociopath. I think ladies everywhere should know what to look out for… for their own hearts’ sake.
Read this girls before you become trapped in the web of abuse, lies and deceit! (http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-and-Help-Sociopaths)
And if you do have a story to tell, expose him on http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com.
Make a difference in the lives of innocent, gullible women, by revealing the activities of these scoundrels. Ladies: we need to protect ourselves b/c after all, we are God’s unique masterpiece!
Comment by ethereal99 on 6 November 2007:
That’s good info from Fala. I want to add that texting someone you know when you change locations on a date is a good idea too. Also: It’s a good idea to make the first date during the daytime at a Starbucks or something.
Comment by orchid133 on 7 February 2008:
the girl in this case happens to be me.
just to let everybody know - even if you dont put personal info in your profile… and no matter how long you talk to someone it can happen. i talked to this guy for a month prior to meeting him. he seemed normal.. i met him in public… and after that he dropped me off at home…
be careful who you meet.
lesson learned.. dont let anybody know where you live until after a few dates..
Comment by orchid133 on 7 February 2008:
oh and yes hes in jail.. pending trial.
Comment by SxyWhtTiger on 11 May 2008:
Sounds kind of bias to me…Men are not the only ones who do this…Women are guilty as well of doing this. I think there needs to website like donotdatehimgirl.com but only for men to expose women that are like this too. Here are some helpful hints what you should do:
1. Be SMART.
2. Take your time getting to know each other.
3. If somebody sounds too good to be true they probably are.
4. The first sign of trouble know when to back out.
5. Always meet in public and it doesn’t matter what time of the day either because if people try something wrong it could even happen in broad daylight too.
6. Always give them a cell number because they can’t trace where you live and problems occur you can always have cell phone company to block their number.
I could go on and on what you should and shouldn’t do but I won’t…The Main Solution is to use your Brain and don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement.
Comment by orchid133 on 19 May 2008:
Very true Sxywhttiger
however, ive learned there are ways a person can find out where you live.. ie) sending emails
there are hidden things behind the to / from and you can get an ip address from that.. people who know how to get through that stuff can find anything.
the person i met.. i talked to for a long time… prior to meeting.. didnt give him my address or anything… met in public… etc etc. i took precautions…
advice i got from the police was to have a seperate phone or something to contact a person via so that they dont have your real number - have a cell that you can cancell at anytime..
Comment by Dondon on 21 May 2008:
There is still fun in online dating but you need to be doing some research first about the person online…and always be careful..Don’t give a lot of information about yourself..
Comment by sweet suger on 22 September 2008:
Hello ladies,i received an e-mail from a friend ,it was fowarded from the state police, WARNING!! (ROC HARD ABBS)is wanted for murder; he has killed 2 from yahoo personals, 1 from an aol site. I have stopped dateing from any of the sites at the moment. PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!
Comment by homesteader on 31 December 2008:
As in any part of a bag of apples at the bottom , there may be a rotten one . Be Safe and enjoy every day as it comes . Within 60 miles of our house there are half a dozen prisons now . These are not race problems / these are people who do not care what they do or who they vandelize , harrass and stalk , because they know that the State will feed them and shelter from the weather outside . If and when they get caught .
Comment by Salsassin on 15 January 2009:
I wonder if this guy ever got caught. I have been stalked before and if it was exasperating for me, I just can’t imagine how scary it would be for a woman, where the man has the advantage of size and what not on the average.
As for the email claim, I would check it against any of the hoax sites first.
Comment by D on 21 July 2009:
hogan fan stfu and stop telling ppl how to spell…….. Are you the spell check police? Get a life.
Comment by Laur on 12 October 2009:
dncarm6 well this woman has aol watch for her: She will stalk & attack you in chat’s & posts. billusa2000 is knowen to stalk a few women on the net . These kind of people must have mental illnesses & I wonder everyday if they do to be doing the sick stuff they do sometimes or all the time depending how bad it is…
Comment by Laur on 12 October 2009:
Also watch: They will put fake stuff on the net about certain people & troll and act like real-life people there not. Just a warning.