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Interracial couple fighting – How do people react?

Posted by Ria, 31 May

“What would you do” is the name of ABC News series. And in this particular study, they decided to not only feature how people react to “angry boyfriends verbally abusing their girlfriends in a park”, but also how people would react if the couple was interracial. Their main aim: trying to find out if it would be a race issue.

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Clearly, it seems women stepped right in … especially in the case of an abusive Caucasian boyfriend and an African-American victim. On the other hand, when the abusive boyfriend was African-American, they intervened, yes; but from a distance. Its like there was some fear.

Beth Perlman, one of the women had this to say: "I definitely think I was weighing in my mind my fear and what was the right thing to do." And the other woman Adrianne Meisler said, "We just knew we had to stay there until the police arrived. That was enough to do in the situation to ensure her safety."

Some men intervened too … a few men. Its like men were afraid that their intervention would somehow fuel a fight.

“Over two days of shooting, we noticed that women seemed less inclined to intervene when the abusive boyfriend was African-American and the victim white,” ABC News reported. This was probably so because stereotypically, African-American men are assumed to be more violent. In this case, race is somehow a factor.

So would the racial composition of the interracial couple influence your intervention?

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70 responses to "Interracial couple fighting – How do people react?"

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  1.   Glock says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 10

    @NOPLAYER Your argument gets more difficult to understand. Your first paragraph says an individual can have racist ideology but cant exercize their ideology unless they are a part of a "collective structure" With that being said, say a group of blacks see a white guy, and go beat the shit out of him, call him a honky, cracker, what are doing in our neighborhood? etc.ect. Would that be an act of racism to you or just a simple assault? You try to divide the qualifications of racism as to give blacks a free pass on racism. Racism is racism and you know that. It doesn't have to a "group" "organization" or any other collective in order for something to have to qualify as racism. Hell, using your logic a white man could burn a cross in your yard and that would not qualify as a racist act because its not a "group" that has power over your situation. And no, one white man does not have that kind of power. Come on NOPLAYER, get real!

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  2.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 10

    Satelite Television in our Home has been turned off for years / I do knot enjoy ten commercial between shows as I forget the story - old you know !!! We are in 24/7 constant contact as we are Retired and study online , she Graduated this past month A on her coolege digree in two courses . I finished Kilz sealer / primer all around Our Home on the 12th - outside walls and started building storm shutters . We have some Hurricanes every now and then / Being Prepared saves damages . We allow - Other peoples business to remain Other peoples business . We are Stoud enough to Handle Ourselves and find the Largest amount of people we see are Friendly / maybe it the Heat ant sweat @ 100 + degrees at 110 heat index and promise of rain ??? Resting in a National Forest Preserve / Retirement our game , alas go to town a few times a month and walk from one place to another for my Heart exercise . Talk to many / enough our own Place in Time . Allow others to do as they Please / Guess one has to build their own Sweet Dream World , Life is between us and Family . God deals the cards , we just learned to play our own hand and knot look at others .

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  3.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 10

    @ Glock My premise is, an individual can be a racist in ideology but they have to be a part of a collective structure, organization or institution to carry out or execute their ideology on a collective group of people For example, if I claimed to dislike a particullar group of people, by myself what actions could I take against them as a whole group to advance my cause? Little to nothing! If giving a badge and a gun I could deprive them of liberty by trying arrest as many of them as I could, if I has in a position to hire and fire them I could hurt them financially by not hiring or firing as many as I could or if I was backed by economically powerfull people then I could use that backing to economically sufficate them or lobby politicians to pass laws that hurt them but help myself and those that share my racist views as a means executing or carrying out my racist agenda. I mentioned earlier individuals don't have power but if I can stand behind a structure, an institution or an organization that has control over the welfare of people then as an individual I could engage in racism against my target. IMO racism isn't about calling people names, giving people dirty looks or even physicallay attacking someone, it's about being able to gain wealth and power throuh depriving, dominating or explioting other groups of people. You stated, "I see it as no matter how you slice it, you’re always going to give black racism a “pass” because you don’t want to acknowledge it as racism". I wont give black racism a pass because it's wrong to put on people what you've suffered at the hands of others, no I'm not with that. My parents told me, "You have to be careful of how you act and how you treat people in this life, just as the good you do can be passed on and can affect others after you're gone, so can your evil and injustice and you can leave your children here to pay for your misdeeds and injustices long after you're gone!" Your not getting hired for the state police may have been the results of an individual hiding behide the state power structure and the favoritism you saw being shown by black officers or non-commissioned officers towards other blacks was another example of a racist standing behide an organization or institution. Somebody other than the individual him or herself empowered them and put them in that position and then they chose to act out their racist agenda but by themselves these folks couldn't do nothing to stop your advancement. I'm not saying whites can't be vitimized by racism at the hands of non whites but more than likely these individuals were not working off of their own individual power, they had to be apart of something much bigger and more powerful than themselves.

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  4.   Lovelive says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    I liked how Glock talked about the issues. Most of the time these threads would start flame wars or worse, but you explained things in a great way. I am black but in France, and I've seen very few people taking into account both sides when they talk about racism. They are always oriented towards Black racism or White racism. But when you share thoughts on such a topic, you need to face all truths, for every individual and not so much for a category of population (which is what leads to racism). It can be hard, it's human, but this is an effort to make.

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  5.   Glock says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 10

    @NOPLAYER and to a small degree Lilnikki. Yes I hear where you're coming from. However, if I understand your premise, you're saying that you have to be in the "power structure" in order for racism to truely take place because these people have "power" over someone's life. Do I understand that correctly? If this is the case, at what level does the power structure have to be at? City, State, federal? If it's city then look at all the cities across the United States that has minority mayors and city councils. There are many, Detroit is one of them. Of course at the federal level you have a "black" president. Can't get any higher than that. Look at all the hiring and firing he's been doing. I remember years ago when I had attempted to join the state police for Michigan back in the 80's. At that time there where hardly any white males being hired, instead, they hired BM almost exclusively. I heard at the time off the record by several people within the state police "if you're a white male now, you're hit." Who do I blame that on? Was I pissed? No, I was used to it, seen that type of treatment in the military ALL the time. In the military there were LOTS of blacks in the power structure showing tremendous favoritism toward blacks, but I guess since the Armed Forces Chief of Staff and the president were white, I guess the racism I experienced didn't count. I see it as no matter how you slice it, you're always going to give black racism a "pass" because you don't want to acknowledge it as racism. lilnikki, says that whites don't understand what you're saying. No, whites get it! We get it! However I don't think that blacks want to acknowledge that whites experience racism too. All whites are not in the power "structure" as you say, yet nobody would listen to us if we claimed racism, in fact, we would get laughed at. There are two sides to this story.

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  6.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    ~ When a man is disconnected, it basically means that he's not in touch with himself enough to be consistent and genuine in dealing with what's going on inside his mind, body, and spirit. He's focused on the physical aspects and he lacks balance. He's basically not in touch with himself and his feelings-just his sexual desires and his own selfish impulses. With the lack of integration between his values and his feelings there's no way he's ever going to be in touch with you or your feelings. Author~ Unknown~

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  7.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 10

    @ homesteader Man it's good that you've found love and happiness with the one you love and what more can you ask for, I myself have been lucky to find the same as well. As much as I'd love to live in an ideal world where people treat others as they themselves would like to be treated but we both know that's not a reality. What concerns me is I think some people feel that just because a man and a women from different ethnic groups can live together in love and in harmony the world has all of a sudden made a change for the better and thats not so. If these two people lived on an island somewhere off to themselves that would be different but these two people still have to function in a worls that has yet to find the civility and maturity that the two of them seem to have. You have to keep in mind because the times may have changed and even the tactics, the game is still the same. It not direct and up in your face anymore, it's now very discrete and almost to the point of being unrecognizable. It's about being able to inflict the damage without actually putting hands on the person, if you will. So you may think that I'm livng in the past when in reality I'm well aware of the new tactics and strategy and being able to cope and deal with these issues is being able to see it as it is and having the strenght of my conictions to call it as I see it. IR couples in general but particularly blk & wht couples really have to be able to see things as they are because if not they'll do what I see so many due and thats adopt this crazy racial ideology of "I don't see color and we all bleed red blood" mentallity, when in reality what they're saying is, " I don't want to face this because I don't have the courage to, so it's better for me to pretend and live in a world of make believe!" You cant be in love and live a lie at the same time, if two people cant see reality as it is but have to pretend for the sake of getting along, then thats not true love, thats accomadationism and thats not what IR dating should be about. If it's all about accepting people for who they are then why should a person feel compelled to go along with this false notion of "all is fair and just when even a drunken fool can see that it's not. I have IR married American friends who wouldn't dare to discuss politics, religion or current events around eachothers family out of fear of being looked at in a unfavorable light, can you believe that? I look to the future as you do and I don't carry around the pain of the past only an open eye of what's still going on at this very moment and I can do that without feeling I'm out of place because it might make someone else uneasy.

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  8.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 10

    Ria ; I saw two small mistakes in my past comment / I guess Editing is not part of what you do . " the Southeast Texas " should be " in Southeast Texas " " apain " should be " pains " We all make mistakes / should another be Held accountable when they do not correct them ? I am sorry that is July's Blog topic question , I seem to have gotten ahead of myself . LOL

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  9.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 10

    NOPLAYER : I speak of life Today as my wife and I live it / Understanding that people of my own Heritage are the ones who have given me the Largest problems over the years . We see No problems in a Public forum / we have the same local children who never took advantage of Common Respect of others property as everyone else encounters daily . Yet we have grown in the Knowledge that if you cannot change something / not to Dwell on it . Change what you can / Learn to set aside Stupidity shown bye others . As a Disabled man at a young age of 18 / I experienced Prejudice my whole life of People with Position of Authority . I did knot ask anyone to walk in my shoes - I Learned to Handle it Legally , Hehe . You are totally wrong in your assumption that only certain peoples experience Ignorance of others , we all have the same problems in today's world . Politically Correct is your point of view / my votes in the past elections have been over-ruled by Majority . I don't see Anger in my responces . It doesn't take guts to Enjoy the Life We have the Southeast Texas . Retired at the age of 62 , I feel that my experiences over the years are exactly one of a Grown man / Mature in my thoughts and actions since childhood . Speak your opinions freely , I learn from you . Yet I look more to the Future than carry the apain of the past .

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  10.   lilnikki says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 10

    I totally agree with NOPLAYER. I have been trying to get his points across to a lot of Whites. He just expressed it a lot more eloquently than I ever can. I don't expect Whites to get what NOPLAYER expressed. They do not have to go through a lot of what he said. They can try to understand and even be empathetic, but they do not live under institutional and structural racism.

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  11.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 10

    Amen , Kissime ; This site is looking for tommorrow / knot yesterday .

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  12.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 10

    @ Homesteader Man aint nobody talking nothings about separation or racial division. Myself and Glock are no engaging in spewing racial hatred of any sort our posting are not out of hostility or anger. What you are reading is nothing more than two people trying to gain an understanding of where the other is coming from regardless if we agree or not, people we not always agree and that fine as long as an effort is made to at least try to understand where the other is coming from. That what mature adults do, thats how GROWN MEN conduct themselves and nowhere have you read where things have gotten heated between us, so what are you talking about? Whats your problem? At least some of us have the guts to tell it as they see it and not care about being politically correct, has IR dating blinded you that much? Have you forgotten that people of different racial groups have differences of opinion, they don't see through the same eyes and there's nothing wrong with that as long as people can remain civil and mature. I don't feel people should have to shut-up and go away because their opinions might upset someone elses view of how they think things should be. Give ma a break dude!

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  13.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    I agree, homesteader...one must let it go and be the bigger person.

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  14.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    @ Glock I think we're both dealing with racism from two different angles. My fight is with structural and institutional racism while your beef is over racist treatment at the hand of individuals, particullary BM. I'm still waiting for you to explain how these BM have prevented you from working a job, living where you wanted, getting an education or marrying a woman who wanted to marry you, how have these men affected you and generations your family? How have these BM deprived you of life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness? How have these BM made decisions that' have yielded power over your life? Maybe their racism have pissed you off, annoyed the hell out of you, made you feel threatend or uncomfortable but other than that explain how has the racism of these BM or BP impacted you life and your future?

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  15.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    @ Glock You stated: I have talked to others who also hold your view that individuals cant be racist, that its about power not race. That simply isnt true but it an EXCUSE for people to hold racist views and justify it by claiming their status as a minority as their “out” for the lable of racism. RE: Some of these minorities may hold racist views but where is their power to inflict social, polictical or ecomonic damage on anybody? Yeah they can be annoying as jock itch but they don't pose a threat to nobody but themselves. They talk shit about the same people they have to ask for a job, apply for loans at their banks, go to their hospitals when they get sick, they even depend on the same people to feed them because they produce little to no food of their own. So how much credability or power for that matter does a person like that have in the first place? I'm not threatend by a man's "views" I'm threatend by his ability to "act out" on those views! I'm threatend by "his power" not his views because without power his views are just, his views! I may become annoyed by his words and his racist rhetoric but a threat and an annoyance are not the same. Most people (all people)with racist views but no power, are nothing more than fustrated punks, they feel powerless to bring about any real change within themselves much less the world so they act out in fustration. Those who really have the power to inflict damage on others don't have to talk, they just get busy organizing and pooling together resources to carry out their plan. People as individuals have no real power, their sense power comes from social interactions and the way people chose to relate to eachother and that individual. Hilter would've been unable to do what he did if it wasn't for the way he got people to relate to, interact with him and assist him in doing what he did. Dr. Martin Luther King would have been lynched trying to fight against segregation in the south if it wasn't for the millions of people both blk and wht that related to, interacted with him and assisted him in trying to do what he did. Glock, lets say I came at you yelling all sorts of racial epithets, as an individual I'd be expressing my racial views right? If you retalliated by going upside my head, you may succeeded in putting a stop to my acting out towards you and you'll have taken away my power to do so but you may not change the way I think. I make this point to say, as people we cant change the way people feel about us we can only try to aquire the power that will serve as a deterrent or a repellent to those that would try actting out on their views.

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  16.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    This site is Designed to bring people " Together "/ and yet all I read from some is " Separation " . Maybe the time is before Us to " Let it Go " / Grow-up allow these changes in Life to happen .

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  17.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    Each person is his or her own individual / formed in opinions of times " past " . Intelligence / is looking into the " Future " for Better times for us all . I think this is called / Becoming a Grown-up . Change comes from within / Look to the Enjoyment of Tomorrow and it will Remind You of backward times of long ago that Truly change within Yourselves , if that be personal Desire . No-one else can change the way we think / Save Ourselves . We saw this for Us years ago . Enjoying each day together as a Family unit .

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  18.   Glock says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    I see now we have a new definition of racist. It has to be a "team" effort. According to NOPLAYER, "I don’t think one man by himself can be a racist because racism is a team sport, it requires, group effort, the pooling of resourse, strategic and tactical planning and no man by himself is capable of that, he’ll need alot of help if he plans to dominate and control a race of people." So when someone calls you a name, does something to you while they are screaming racial epithets it's not racism anymore because it's not a team effort. I'll have to keep reminding myself that when I hear those words.

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  19.   Glock says:
    Posted: 04 Jul 10

    @NOPLAYER Your arguments are so lacking in so many ways. I have talked to others who also hold your view that individuals cant be racist, that its about power not race. That simply isnt true but it an EXCUSE for people to hold racist views and justify it by claiming their status as a minority as their "out" for the lable of racism. Its not about me "feeling better"! Its about the truth.

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  20.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 10

    @ Kissime I agree forgiveness is powerful and it's a privilege and as a privilege it comes with a responsibility. When you're too quick to forgive without demanding justice you end up rewarding injustice. I think when that man confessed his evil, dug up the bodies and wash the bones, he was making a way towards being forgiven. I believe forgiveness doesn't release the offender from punishment or having the make a mends but forgiving the offender releases you from your anger and allows you to function in a productive manner. I feel every emotion that GOD gave us was for a useful purposed if chanelled in the right direction. Anger and hatred if harnessed in the right direction can inspire and motivate people to do the necessary things to keep them fron being vulnerable to people, circumstances and situations that could lead to their vitimazation. You have a happy 4th of July as well!

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  21.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 10

    NOPLAYER & Jungle, my heart is content because of your understandings. Forgiveness is a powerful privilege. I say privilege because I believe not all of us can identify this powerful yet fragile gift implanted in us by the almighty. It's amazing how forgiveness can make you or break you. Isn't it ironic this one little action can make such a major difference in our lives? Some of us hold on to hatred. We sometime mistake pain as power. We walk around with so much anger thinking it's strength. We refuse to see the truth, we don't even realize the poison slowly being released in our soul-eating us and oozing through our pores--the deadliest stench of all. I agree at time anger will keep us alive (temporarily), after a while it becomes defense mechanism. But how often do we enjoy the company of an angry person or group of people? If we keep such company we begin to drown in their misery as it manifest itself into us. We either start to waste or find a way to grow; and the latter my friends, is the challenging part. Forgiveness should be so easy, right? Why not? If this gift was graciously implanted in us by the almighty we should all be able to acknowledge it- and put it into effect, right?...wrong. Not all of us are strong enough. And for this reason NOPLAYER (also because of the grief & terror of this unfortunate event), I can understand why tears escaped your eyes. I would like to think I could forgive such a monster. But I know if the opportunity of meeting him ever presented-- he would had been killed by my hands. I can not comprehend her existence after losing her children. My anger would had kept me alive and therefore, my action would had been justified in my mind. All race have done wrong to their own and to other races. It was not righteous then, and it is not righteous now. At time we all need to understand wounds may be fresh for some, especially if their experiences are constantly relived. We all need to understand sometime it may be our insecurities scrutinizing us. Our defense mechanisms at time may peak it's little head too soon. Not everyone is out to get us(speaking for all race.) And when someone shows their ugly side it's best to be the better person, and, walk away. Hatred is never good for the heart and soul...it is toxic. let us all try to be aware of our behaviors. We are not perfect, but it's okay to be kind. I'm far from perfect. I've cracked a few whips. Anger is a part of us, it is a necessary emotion. But try not to let it control us-it becomes a weakness when it consumes our lives. The child of a person who's done wrong to me should not suffer. I too shed tears. Happy 4th of July to all. Please celebrate safely. Do Not get behind the wheel drunk, you may kill someone. And I believe that's premeditated murder. Declaration of Independence on July 4th,1776, from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

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  22.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 01 Jul 10

    @ Glock You have the right to your opinion just as I have the right to mine. As a BM that was grown up in the inner city (the hood), there are certain realities that myself and "MOST BM that have also grown up in the inner city understand at face value. I know that all BM have not grown up in the hood but there are still certain realities that just come with the territory. Glock you stated: You may very well have experienced many of the things you mentioned, but so have I in my experience with dating black women. You have the luxury of getting to call it racism and draw sympathy from those you tell your experiences to. I on the other hand am told “It’s not racism” or am told of some other possibility other than what it truely was, racism from blacks, usually black men. Man aint nobody said nothing about being mistreated by BM or WM for dating women from their group. I listed some examples of how I felt that American society places a higher value on the lives of white people and you go off into BM acting racist towards you for dating BW ?????? Now if you wish to present something to counter my statement then cool but to get off into your not so pleasant incounters with BM for dating BW is something else! If it'll make you feel better I'll admit, yeah there are BM that will give you a bunch of flack for dating BW and that goes both ways. To be truthful the things that I described, IMO are not about people hating other people, I see it as people exercising their power. I don't have the typical view of racism as some people. To me racism is and will always be about POWER, a group's ability to get it, maintain it and use it as a means of dominating over other people, if they wish to. It's not about hating someone's skin color, culture, or religion, that's bigotry, now if you have power and you use it to control and dominate other people as a means of elavating your RACE at the exspense of others, now that's RACISM. I don't think one man by himself can be a racist because racism is a team sport, it requires, group effort, the pooling of resourse, strategic and tactical planning and no man by himself is capable of that, he'll need alot of help if he plans to dominate and control a race of people. I don't consider it a luxury to be able to point out the ways in which another man exercises his dominance over me. As far as the BM that have given you a hard time over dating BW, in what way do they prevent you from doing as you please in life? Basically the only power they have is to talk sh&t and be mad! Glock, I'd consider it a blessing to only have to deal with a bunch of mad folks who can do no more than talk trash because that's the extent of THEIR POWER!

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  23.   Glock says:
    Posted: 29 Jun 10

    @NOPLAYER, you are inconsistant at best. You say you refer to your own experiences but then again revert back to "most BM" as if you are speaking for them. You also make statements such as "I don't just say that, the "facts" say so". Really? How so? Who says "society" places a higher value on WW than BW? Are you not a part of society? Are those your feelings? They are not mine. Further, when a black women come up missing they are reported on the news here just the same as the white girls. Are you suggesting the black girls are missing just as much as white girls in equal numbers? I personally have no idea who is missing. What I can tell you is when a perpretrator of a crime is black, they won't give the race, just height and weight, when the bad guy is white, they make damn sure everyone knows he's white. Yes you can have your opinions and I'll have mine. You can criticize mine, I'll criticize yours if I disagree. You may very well have experienced many of the things you mentioned, but so have I in my experience with dating black women. You have the luxury of getting to call it racism and draw sympathy from those you tell your experiences to. I on the other hand am told "It's not racism" or am told of some other possibility other than what it truely was, racism from blacks, usually black men.

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  24.   Jungle says:
    Posted: 24 Jun 10

    greatly said Kissme, requardless to the numbers or accoutability, only takes one immature death to wake a thousand sleepers. I think that Kissme really hit the nail on the head.Kissme you are definately not alone when comes to how people view interracial relationships. Wether just or injust everycouple that I ever knew of always has neighbors watching.Meaning is who the couple is and not nessarly who else is watching.Every couple has their hard times....doesn't mean to get abusive. The reason why the couple are a couple is for mutual attration the wanting to be by eachother

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  25.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    @ kissime I saw an documentry on the Rwandan Genocide and they were showing how the country allow the tribal courts to deal with offenders. This court gave the offenders a chance to own up to their evil and they had to go and stand before the family or families of their victoms and confess and then ask for mercy but most of all forgiveness. This man that lived next door to this woman and had killed her husband and 3 of her children and he had to go to the graves here they had the bodies of her loved ones and he had to dig up the remains and wash the bones for a proper burial. This bought me to tears because I'd never seen an act of forgiveness so deep. This woman even fixed this man a plate of food and served him in her home while the interview was going on, I couldn't believe it. They ask this lady how could she feed this man after all he'd done and she said that forgiveness is deeply rooted in their culture and that hatred is poison to the soul. In a world filled with so much bloodshed and evil I learned that day that beauty can be found even after the ugliest deeds.

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  26.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    The Rwandan Genocide was the 1994 mass killing of an estimated 800,000 people over the course of approximately 100 days. -In the ongoing genocide, African farmers and others in Darfur are being systematically displaced and murdered. The genocide in Darfur has claimed 400,000 lives and displaced over 2,500,000 people. More than one hundred people continue to die each day; five thousand die every month. -The Holocaust: Adolf Hitler became chancellor of Germany, to May 8, 1945 when the war in Europe ended. During this time, Jews in Europe were subjected to progressively harsh persecution that ultimately led to the murder of 6,000,000 Jews (1.5 million of these being children)The Jews who died were not casualties of the fighting that ravaged Europe during World War II. Rather, they were the victims of Germany's deliberate and systematic attempt to annihilate the entire Jewish population of Europe, a plan Hitler called the “Final Solution” ~If we follow God's guidance we will be better human beings~ -Yes, we've come a long way. -We have a long way to go -Because of our voices and democracy we will succeed

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  27.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    No Player, I understand. I'm A Black Woman and I'm not blind...I know. Glock, I don't think you need testosterone injections. I feel your energy just by reading your statements ;)

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  28.   Glock says:
    Posted: 21 Jun 10

    Kissime, when can I collect on that testosterone injection??? LOL Actually, I have no beef with anyone here. You are absolutely right in your last sentence, everything is not black and white! This "report" is a prime example of that.

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  29.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 21 Jun 10

    @ Kissime You're right, everything is not blk & wht. I'm very good at being able to RESPECTFUlLY disagree because people have different points of view based on their interpretation of their own life's experiences, the key word is THEIR OWN. Like others on this board, I can only speak from my own experiences and observations and it's expected that not all will agree and that's fine. When I made my comment about most BM knowing better than to put their hands on a WW, some saw that as a generalization where as myself and most BM see that as the GOSPEL TRUTH. To most BM men that's common knowledge, it's as common as not going in the housing projects after dark if you don't live there! LMAO That's reality as some of us see it and have lived it, while someone else may have a different outlook. I myself and many other BM are well aware of that society places a higher regard on white life than black life, particulary wht females, not because I say so, because the facts say so. When WW or wht girls come up missing it's all over the news, can you say the same about BW? Look at the number of death sentences handed out for the murder of WW over the murder of BW. When you look at the history of racial cleansings (opps, did I let the cat out of the bag) in the U.S. how many were over the alleged assult, rape or murder of WW and how many were over BW. I remember years ago they found this WW's body in an alley in a drug infested neighborhood. This lady was a known drug addict and had been in the area for a few years. She'd been arrested for stealing and prostitution more than a few times. She OD'ed on herione, they did an autopsy and found out she'd been given rat poison and before you could blink, the detectives swarmed that area and they tried to track down the person who had sold or giving her the heroine laced with rat poison. Out of all the BW they'd found dead in vacant houses and allies OD-ing, I'd never heard of an autospy being performed, their deaths were ruled accordingly and the cases was closed. When one of the black detectives stopped in the school yard where we played softball and started asking us questions, I asked him since when did they start investigating the deaths of dope addicts and he replied," normally we don't but this was a WW and somebody has to go down for this!" It was well known that when dealers wanted to get rid of a snitch or a thief they'd lace the dope with rat poison. I used this to show how these events have shaped my opinion and outlook on certain issues pertaining to race in this country. That detective in the schoolyard only reinforced the validity of those "unwritten laws" that I mentioned in my second posting on this topic. I'm sure I'm not the only one that got "the briefing" back in the day before I would leave to drive down south from St. Louis, you know the: stay on the highway, do 5 mph under the speed limit, only stop to get gas, if you get stopped it's strictly yes sir and no sir and be on the highway back to home as soon as you eat breakfast. This is a reality for most BM, regardless of right or wrong, Obama being president, interracial dating and the rest of that good stuff, it is what it is! You're right we do have more in common than not but it's also possible for people to look at the same thing and see something different and that's all right with me. Best Wishes!

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  30.   Kissime says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 10

    Glock & Noplayer...make-nice nice (Alpha male?) No need for testosterone injections. I must admit,I do enjoy giving them...right in the derrière ;) Personally, I would intervene by calling the police immediately(race does not matter)A young man I went to school with was shot to death on the train when he tried to stop a man from beating his girlfriend. (He was biracial- black & white)That night, someone's son, brother, grandson, a friend & humanitarian died. What a tragedy. We are human being. Regardless of the hatreds mentality, I believe change starts with making a choice. Change for a better world is good-believe that. We all have more in common than not...and that's the truth. As a mother of a 4 year old son. My daily thoughts: My son's safety, his health, food, positive mentality, positive influences,college tuition, and the type of man I am raising...a great citizen of the world. Every sane parent's dream- I hope 100 % is similar. Let's agree to disagree- everything is not black & white

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  31.   naturaleblk1 says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 10

    I never look or read these blogs but I could not help watching the video. Yes this is general, but as Chris Rock said, if you're American, you will be general in most context(not exact quote of course)To me it was basically underscoring what they said at the end, men vs women's reactions. I've personally observed women being more involved in that regard so I cannot disagree with these scenarios presented. I would have loved to see the one where the women are the abusive ones and what reactions would come from that. Interesting. I just hope I am a good citizen and act neighborly to anyone in distress, male or female.

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  32.   Donitta says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 10

    Go Tina3219!! You are bold. I would have looked and kept my mouth shut. If it got out of hand, I would have called the store manager. That's all.

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  33.   tina3219 says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 10

    I was shopping in a store and the couple both white were in my aisle, then went to the counter. He was steadily berating her at the counter. You are fat nothing you buy is going to look right he said. I spoke up and said I didn't want to hear that shit take it outside. And I would do it again. I do not regret what I said. If you do not want anyone in your business then keep it to yourself and do not talk loudly for all to hear.

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  34.   Jungle says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 10

    You not only see it happen with interracial couples. It happens with any couple who is emotionaly dependant on the spouse or her to her husband. I feel that an abusive couple are not really in a relationship. A Real realtionship envovles to people who want to be together by attraction, not by dominance. Finding who you are ment to be with doesn't emply that feeling complete means that you are empowered over who you are ment to be with. Yes even the best of any relationships have hardtimes. None of them are abusive. Cause the best of a relationship means that you care enough about the other to ensure the others best interests to make them feel complete. Even in hardtimes, reguardless. I am thinking wether the people in the video really were in a relationship at all. None of the other should have to put up or be an emotional punching bag. Or maybe they just thought they would be good together as a dependant???. Talkintall I hope you aren't ever in a relationship like the video either.Plz don't think or take this video as a stereotype for interrcail couples. Rayne, I have no idea how to reply to your comment. I do feel that with thearpy, and being in the right relationship you will get a better look on couples.You always were a fireyone lol. It isn't what anybody gets out of a relationship. Is what both of you put into a relationship that makes a great couple.

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  35.   Glock says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 10

    @ Trysomtony, the only thing is, NOPLAYER said he wasn't talking about 'white' police but police in general. You may be from the deep south and things may happen down there from white cops, but you don't see every incident down there between black males and white cops just the same as black cops and white males. Yes Jenna, very good point. America is a very very race conscious country. Everything seemingly revolves around race, at least when something controversial arrises. Incidents like the fabrications seen in this story is the great divide. Generally speaking, people go to their seperate tents on these issues, rarely looking at the objective evidence and discussing it in a rational manner, instead resorting to hyperbole and sweeping generalizations.

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  36.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 11 Jun 10

    If I hurt anyones feelings / Many Apoligy . In the beginning of Our relationship / we saw Ignorance in a Few . In the past 3 + years / many have changed the way they veiw us . There are so Many people who go out of their way to talk with Us now / it seems Most people Enjoy seeing Us together . Change is Abundant and I veiw problems with very little concern now . Think it may be the type of places couples frequent that make unpleasant situations occur . Life is Marvelous for us , Hehe .

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  37.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 11 Jun 10

    @SnazzyBella Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia

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  38.   Jenna says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 10

    Why is race such a big issue for Americans? I am not saying that it isn't for other countries,but it is like religion for you guys! What is the big deal,people are people,we date,we procreate,we eat, we sleep we live and we die! Geez lighten up on the negatives and just live! May the blessings be!

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  39.   TrySumTony says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 10

    Well I will have to say the video of the scenarios was entertaining to say the least but one thing we should remimber is that in diffent parts of the country things could have got a whole nother way then a suburban park like that. Guys i'm from the deep south an i feel first hand what NOPLAYER was aiming at and sad but true he is right about the hitting of a white female and the retaliation from white police and the judictional system as a whole at least in the south! I don't believe in hitting a woman and in my belief only a coward would do so!I think in a sence we all could get sumthing from this an what those few woman did which is always do our best to help one another black or white, man or woman whenever we can!

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  40.   Teetee1117 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 10

    Well I just watch the clip and it's very sad that most people can just walk away and watch someone else being hurt or about to be. No matter what color they happen to be.

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  41.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 08 Jun 10

    @whurr zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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  42.   Glock says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 10

    @NOPLAYER Interesting observations. As far as the DA's, judges etc. yes I have heard that and read that in many sources. As far as the black cops beating black males more zealously than the white males do, hmmm for some reason I have not heard anyone say that.

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  43.   bellara says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 10

    preach on NOPLAYER

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  44.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 10

    Ladies, just try your best not to get caught up in a situation like this and hopefully no one will have to rescue you from NO MAN! 1) Make your first date a trip to the gun range and show him just how deadly your marksmanship skills are. 2) Be sure to take him to meet all of your male relatives at the cookout to serve as a reminder of who he'll have to deal with should he ever put his hands on you. 3) Last but not least, know that verbal abuse is closely related to physical abuse and if he'll curse you out, he'll knock you out! Protect yourself so nobody else will have to risk getting hurt to protect you!

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  45.   BrownB09 says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Im no mindreader, all I can do is look and give my general perception of what I see. In any case, black, white hispanic, asian, indian... if I see someone getting abused....I will do my best to intervene. It is upsetting when people use race as a reason not to be bothered when it clearly shows someone is in distress. Ive gotta say, if it was for example.... MY neighborhood an all black noeghborhood and there was a couple fighting, a majority of the spectators would have sat there and not did a damn thing!!!!! I see it too many times....my point is lets not assume that we know whats going in the minds of others.....brings more tension and angst in my opinion. if we worry about what others think or feel,it surely wont help make the situation better. Indeed the video was quite interesting.

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  46.   ojpj says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    color should not be an issue preception is also a question no one want to get hurt trying to help soo my deal is fear of being hurt helping a stranger is common reaction. There are a lot of hero's that will put them selves in harms way to save some one color should not be an issue

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  47.   ojpj says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    This is a tuff one I was in an abusive relationship where people thought it was entertaining my point is Hell at least call the police if you are to afraid to help. Thank God I am free of that

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  48.   shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Glock I hear you loud and clear and I fully understand the point that your making. shotgun

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  49.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Ria ; This is a very successful site for matching inter-racial couples / it worked for us and many others . Yet your Blog Topics continue to single out People Racially / Motivation in Possitive thoughts may constitute change . We changed from Single to Married due to meeting online with Afro-Romance introducing us , Thank you

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  50.   Jenna says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 10

    @Whurr Omg, I would so love to see your proposed scenarios play out!LOL

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