Is sex worth laboring for?

Posted by Ria, 21 Jul 09

I am busy minding my business having my glass wine and beside me, a group of loud hard-to-ignore, obviously inebriated women heatedly discussing their sex lives. Apparently, they are all married and their sex lives are not only boring but downright disastrous. And the weird bit about it is, they blame it on their husbands. Last year, a study showed that 70% of the married women in the U.S. are not happy with their sex lives and literally avoid their husbands’ advances.

Lately, everywhere I go, sex seems to be the preferred topic of discussion, especially among married women. Women too want great sex. And when they aren’t complaining about it, they are advising each other on how to make it better. Women labor so much at spicing their sex lives up… reading about sex, visits to sexologists … Sex has become a subject that just won’t rest in today’s society. And some tend to believe that working on their sexual performance is the key to keeping their spouses on a leash and saving marriage.

But even after all the lessons and the spicing up, some spouses still remain unfaithful. Which makes me wonder, is sex in marriage worth laboring for? Does this mean sex has nothing to do with a spouse’s infidelity?

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12 responses to "Is sex worth laboring for?"

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  1.   cyagholor says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    takinitall you have really said all,you are a woman indeed

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  2.   souljatzun says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 10

    babyboy said it best, people cheat because of low sel esteem...marriage is a gift and when you open that gift you have always wanted...it will be a cold day in hell you would do anything to jeopardize it...great blog babyboy~ soulja Comment by babyboy on 20 November 2009: I am a 45 year old caucasion male, here to set everyone straight, people cheat because of their own low self-esteem, and lack of knowledge of what marriage actually is. Your spouse is your gift from God, and when u dont view them as such it becomes easy to just throw your body around like its a piece of trashwise up, read your bible, the answers are there, and cherish your spouse and treat them as you would like to be treated, my guess is that if you did that, you wouldnt be cheating. i would also like to comment on something that WHURR said, if its only men who are cheating, Who are they cheating with?my guess is that it would be women, Unless they are all on the DL. thanks babyboy

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  3.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 03 Feb 10

    Learning sexual tricks will not keep a man or a woman from straying. I do not want a man that I have to be something other than myself to keep. "Myself" tends to like things to be about her. So far that has not caused anyone to cheat.

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  4.   CanadianGC says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 09

    From a former cheater....... Infidelity is a selfish action which shows any lack of respect and feelings towards the person you are in a relationship with. Don't know about anyone else's experiences but I use to unknowingly lie to myself about my feelings towards the other person and tell myself and her, that I loved her. It wasn't until I met someone that I learned the difference of what real love is and the funny part was she forgot to tell me she already had a partner and was cheating on him with me....lol The experience changed me in a big way Now I never lie, cheat or mislead anyone. I know that if I am not going to be faithful to the other person, I should let them know before doing anything, that the relationship is over and get the hell out of the way so she can be with someone who truly loves her. So why do I think people cheat? Because they don't have the balls to tell the truth to their partner. As for the sex part in a relationship the article refers to, why would a female have sex with a partner who does not make her feel loved and the most important person in his life. I also think it is important that both people being sexually experienced so that they know what their likes.. sexual compatibility is also important. Example. if one partner loves oral sex and the other does not.. well someone in their life time the other person is going to want to stop performing and the other will find it elsewhere sometime during their relationship. It's just the way it is

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  5.   babyboy says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    I am a 45 year old caucasion male, here to set everyone straight, people cheat because of their own low self-esteem, and lack of knowledge of what marriage actually is. Your spouse is your gift from God, and when u don't view them as such it becomes easy to just throw your body around like it's a piece of trash...wise up, read your bible, the answers are there, and cherish your spouse and treat them as you would like to be treated, my guess is that if you did that, you wouldn't be cheating. i would also like to comment on something that WHURR said, if it's only men who are cheating, Who are they cheating with?...my guess is that it would be women, Unless they are all on the DL. thanks babyboy

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  6.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 09

    Sex without Love is just Sex . Ladies who are on the phone calling others while attempting to make Love / Need to put their hands and Minds to better use [ aliekatt2 ].

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  7.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 09

    Darn ria ; I do knot make any opinions in my mind while try ing to understand this question . Those that talk about it / are waste Ting time they could be Enjoying make King Love . Love is how Great one makes their partner Feel . Knot how they complain to others / about their shortcomings pleasing the mates . They have chosen / It takes two to make it work .

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  8.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 09

    "Men who cheat.."" Blah Blah Blah WOMEN WHO CHEAT...hmmmm Lots of babies getting tested for DNA reasons and child support reasons. The dudes get their walking papers when its proven its not theirs. How did that happen?? Its always the dudes cheating? Totally off topic I know, but I hate hearing that. My #1 rule : Women are just better at cheating because they know how to shut their mouth.

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  9.   aliekatt2 says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 09

    I think you should start a thread of Have you ever accidentally dialed while having sex and got your parents!!! Lmao, this happened to my girlfriend hahahaha. Or dialed anyone else for that matter. I could not stop laughing.

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  10.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 09

    The statement "keep on a leash" is offensive...Any human being you have to keep on a leash, you should have some pride and self-respect and let them go.... People cheat because they want to and because there are so many people willing to cheat with them.... It is a falsehood for women to think if they turn themselves into a freak or a porn star, he will not stray...Wrong...He will because, he wants to...Some people cheat just for the thrill of the sneek and chase. Adults should be able to talk sex with their partners, I wouldn't spend majority of my time, thinking of ways to please him; especially if my sexual needs are not being met. I never been the girlfriend pow-wow group talking person, (do not like being called girlfriend neither) so I do not get the point of those discussions. Plus a relationship is between two people, not three and a gang of girlfriends... However, when you need to find a leash, let him go... I think nothing is more sad than for a woman to discount herself...As I watched Gov. Sanford, display his affections for his mistress, calling her his soulmate and that he loved her (all of which was very disrespectful to his wife) He did not have to go on TV and go that in depth about his feelings for his mistress...He stated that he wanted to go to counseling to fall back in love with his wife...And he wife is willing and wanting for that day to come...She shouldn't have said, well who is going to help me fall back in love with you and why do I want to do that. Because majority of the time, we you need to find a leash, attempt to save what is more than likely damaged beyond repair...You really need your own exit plan. No doubt some relationship can survive infidelity, however the majority do not...So get to know yourself, your desires and needs..There is always something to learn from breakups.

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  11.   allikat says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    i think one of the biggest things that contribute to the spouses infidelity is honesty and trust, sharing something with that person that you can't share with anyone else. sex in general cannot keep a person "on a leash." but then there is the question of why you want to, when men feel like they have no freedom they like to rebel...give them a little room, not too much..lol...just enough to make them realize they want and need you. and acting a like a pornstar in the bedroom doesn't hurt either.lol

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  12.   takinitall says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    This is the funniest blog ever! Rule #1- Don't discuss your sex life with other women. Talk to your man and see what he likes and how you can please him. Plus you don't want to peek their interest. Women are vicious! Rule #2- Women sex and love are 2 different things. Don't ever think you are so good sexually that he's going to stay with you. Think about it after you break up, he will have sex with you and still not want you back. Rule #3- Men who cheat do so to fulfill something they are not getting from you or something they think they are missing in themselves. Rule #4- Let you man know how much he means to you and cater to him. He deserves to be validated just as you do. Rule #5- As my grandama would say "if one won't do another will." Remember that when your man asks you to do something freaky. Ok I have more rules, but as I am writing them I can't figure out why I'm single! Maybe cause I don't cheat anymore! :)

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