Warning: The question below may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The question is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out why people make the choices they make when it comes to interracial dating.
Is it possible that some black women share certain qualities and interests with white men that black men simply lack?
Tags: black dating site, black women black men, black women white men
Popularity: 5% [?]
Comment by salaeyes2 on 25 January 2008:
I totally agree with lola73. I have dated men from diverse backgrounds and I have found that I have more in common with white men. I have experienced quite a bit of negativity from black men, but I believe as long as a person makes treats me the way I like to be treated, it’s nobody’s business who I decide to date. It’s sad that if a black woman is ambitious, articulate, cultured and self-assured, then she is accused of “acting white”. I’ve even been told that by some family members. I look in the mirror every day and know who I am, I am well aware of my black history - but if I am happy with who I date, then that’s all that’s important to me.
Comment by lonelybee on 25 January 2008:
colour doesn’t really matter to me. as for me i feel more comfortable with white men and nothing is wrong. but aftr all we are all human beings just the outside colour that groups up and the religions watsoever.
Comment by tracy23 on 25 January 2008:
we could turn this around and ask why do white women find black men attractive, I can say that I have found black men to be so much more laid back and not at all in a rush or stressed,really lovely company in regards to being able to share their culture and so many wonderful things such as new foods, tastes, music, different concepts,all in all it isnt about the colour really its about the culture and how much colour it brings to both lives to be sharing.
Comment by vm on 25 January 2008:
have to say after reading some the previous blogs I have I would prefer a white man simply based on the treatment I recieve from them .But most white men approach me more than black men & the white men to me in my personal experiences are more pampering to me in every way imaginable. Don’t get me wrong I love black men, but I do not recieve the kind of attention I want from them, which make me more attracted to white men
Comment by Sunslite on 25 January 2008:
I agree with all of yous. It’s not about the shade of our skin, but how we connect with and feel around that person. For me, my experience with black men has been sadly to say…….consistantly tiring, shallow and somewhat kinda boring. I’m a very open person and internet dating has truly open the ‘rainbow doors’ of meeting and learning about other ethnicities. And trust me, I’ve met and dated the rainbow of men….age wise as well….24-65!!! I’m 53 this year. I’ve learned that I am so much more comfortable interacting with non-black men. For me, black men have become like brothers and cousins……..that old feeling is poof!….gone! And I sure as heck can’t and won’t date my cousin or brother. I do love them, but in a different way now. Intimately being with a non-black man is so much more erotic!!…….the color contrast is such a turn on. They can be so much more sensitive, pampering and caring. And one HUGE thing I found is that I enjoy the manner in which they communicate and they are comfortable with themselves and open with sharing ‘who’ they really are. For me, there’s a real natural ease that comes with being with them. I’m soooo looking forward to one day meeting MY special guy!
Comment by Zion77 on 25 January 2008:
Hello all,
I’m pleased that I’m in agreement with such intelligent, sensitive, and beautiful women. I am a Black woman- I know this because I see myself in the mirror everyday. But I have had some brothers and sisters accuse me of being White, because of where I live, who I choose to date, and how I carry myself. I don’t think that either race is superior to the other. There are delicious qualities to appreciate in both Black and White men. But because my choice of activities brings me into contact with more white men, that’s who I date currently.
I can’t wait for the day when men and women can love each other for real, without someone accusing you of jungle fever.
Peace,
Zion77
Comment by tigerlilies on 25 January 2008:
I read these things and wonder if it just the same old record playing the same old tune. It just make sense that if you like certain things you’ll want someone to share those same things with. I know that this is an inter-’racial’ dating site but: Can you write about anything else besides how race plays into dating? Aren’t there other issues that come up once you get passed the minituae of the superficialiates of skin?
Those issues should be brought up, too. Like fraud, or men who steal your money, how to protect your safety while trying to start a relationship over the net.
I guess maybe this isn’t for me, even to get 100 pts for responding doesn’t seem worth continually playing into this ‘awareness’ of what is or isn’t available to me because of my color.
How can we expect white people or others to be colorblind when we are just as bad about throwing it up in their faces at every turn?
I don’t need to be told I’m a Black female to be aware of it…so what’s next? I mean come on Ria, if you’re a journalist you know that you’ve got to keep your subjects fresh or the audience will get bored. *sigh*
Comment by Mantronix on 25 January 2008:
From what I have read of these various statements is clearly, many disgruntled women, of who have bad experiences.
I love women whether Black or brown, I find it comes down to personality. Some Black choose not date blacken based of earning potential, also education I work within the field of I.T. In addition, have found many black women, making very nasty judgmental statements about me. Yet when a European causes a problem they need help from the likes of me, not me white are cool but I need children who look like me.
Excuses my ex black boy friend hit me, no I am with a European excuses put the whole race of African males in the same boat. Therefore, when a white person hit you it is cool, then you turn lesbian because Asian men will not go with you nonsense it is about compatibility.
I seen many black women go with white men yet go back to black, you literally never hear that side of the story and yet saying that. What about the black women who choose white men due light skin hmm interesting cannot be light skin and black at the same time ridiculous, many of do not know our history and have been systematically brainwashed.
I do not do Valentines but does not mean, I do not love my girlfriend or partner right now where in the early 21st century and females hating men get over it ignorance breeds ignorance.
Love my woman but will take to do things my way, go out a date can go dutch stranger meeting stranger. One thing I have learned since 15, if a woman like you cool but she doesn’t say and do anything to put you down yet doesn’t realise people are watching.
In my work place a very attractive black women, accused my of being a racist. A tribunal proved that she has a problem with me, because she doesn’t have a relationship this woman get married to a European and yet has two wedding i.e. one for the black family many never turned up and then the white side and is parent she got the nick name KKK.
Not all mixed couples have these chips on there shoulders, too many of them do many of these relationships do not work why cultural differences. When you hear the type of comments European men make when being negative amazing, how these women will always put up with them.
Many of you may not like what I say, just too bad but remember many white people still see Africans and Asian as a threat. Many Black-men let down there women, but a great many do not and will never date a fine looking. Alternatively a woman with great personality, because many women set too high a president they cannot reach themselves.
If many of you are happy be happy yet if your clearly prejudice, then you need to look within yourself and place the shoe on the other foot. Then you will see just how ignorant you can be and how you are negative personality, will affect others around you both present and future to come.
I look for the day we can all get along, with one another whether friends or lovers.
Comment by Glock on 25 January 2008:
Does anyone know what Mantronix is saying? I’m trying to understand his statement…
Comment by fala on 25 January 2008:
You’re attaracted to what or who you’re attracted to - who knows why?
Comment by Dimpz on 25 January 2008:
Why didn’t the article state that:-
Is it possible that some white men share certain qualities and interests with black women that white women simply lack?
Comment by Sxybrwnsuga on 25 January 2008:
I agree with fala. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Why does race have to play a part in everything? You love who you love, color really shouldn’t matter. I have a lot of things in common with white men just like I do black men and latino men. I don’t think because a guy is white that I have more in common with him. I think it’s more or less similar life experiences.
Comment by Dimpz on 25 January 2008:
Oh I forgot to mention I agree with tigerslilies comment too!
Comment by HereIamBaby on 25 January 2008:
Well I am not a black woman, so, I can not give comment on this subject…
BUT…there is always a BUT with me…LOL
I do feel people have choices and preferences…that is the underlaying factor.
Southern smiles and world peace,
Sharon
Comment by jojolove on 25 January 2008:
Ive dated black men, when I was approached by a white male for the first time I turned him away at first because I was always told I had to date black guys because I am a black woman.
One day he asked me again and I said what the hell Im going to go out with him. I felt very comfortable with him and I was very comfortable because we had alot in common. I continued to date other races but found my comfort zone with white
males.
Nothing against black men by no means (after all my father was a black man) I just feel comfortable with white guys.
Comment by thunder on 26 January 2008:
you know it really dosen’t matter you you like being around as long as you’re comfortable with them, i can hang around anybody i feel ok with them, exceptance has no boundries and love has none either!!! we need just to except one another for who we are and enjoy being around them!!!
we’re all GOD’S creation!!!
Comment by lola73 on 26 January 2008:
Glock… I was wondering the same thing… ????? Some people just can get their point across!
Comment by mungu on 26 January 2008:
Most women prefer white guys because they know that every white guy is rich. So they many oriented!!
Comment by ms_seirah on 26 January 2008:
It would be wonderful if we did spell check prior to hitting the “submit” button. Your point may not be understood if you are grammatically incorrect.
P.S. I also agree with Dimpz’ comment:
Dimpz Says:
Why didn’t the article state that:-
Is it possible that some white men share certain qualities and interests with black women that white women simply lack?
Hmmmm I wonder????
Comment by Katana5 on 26 January 2008:
Mungu, what are you talking about?
Comment by Sunslite on 26 January 2008:
Yall um still stuck on not even being able to FINISH READING the ‘mantronix’ blog!!! My brain was so stressed trying to get thru it, I couldn’t finish….. LOL! I agree with ms_seirah, lola73 and Glock! And spell check is a fabulous feature, yet it can’t help you if you really aren’t skilled at expression with the pen on paper. Quite early on I remember learning about those things called commas and periods! LOL! And who knows….perhaps there’s the English as a second language thing goin on there…….maybe???
One other thing…….the original question WUUUUZ address to/about ‘black women’…..in the first of place. Soooo, you men on here with, your (WACK! LOL!) opinions……talk to all us women after YOUUU’VE dated a man……any color man! LOL! It’s impossible for yous to really KNOW what WE KNOW. Therefore, how can you speak on it? Cuz we’re the ones with the actual surveys and real life experiences…..with MEN!….. (o;
Anyways……each to everyone’s own. There’s really no right or wrong way. Attraction is just like icecream……I don’t like/prefer cookie dough…..so why would I eat it? Ya feelin meeee?
And that’s my say and um stickin to it!
Comment by mossimo on 26 January 2008:
Isn’t it possible to just have an attraction, then reach a level of comfort. As a white man, I cant rule out dating a white female altogether, its just that I have reached the point where I don’t feel so much in common with them anymore. Like another poster said, no disrespect to my mother and sisters.
Comment by islandlt on 26 January 2008:
Good topic of discussion and it can spin off into so many other related topics. I am a black woman. #1; I despise being put “in a box” and if I do not speak in the same manner or dialect, eat the same food, like the same music, or men, all of a sudden I’m too different, in bad way. I have dealt with this type of discrimination from my own race practically my entire life. If we do not, as black people, embrace our diversity in color, beliefs, and preferences and consider them attributes, we can reserve ourselves to just fitting a stereotype- and you know it ain’t goan be the most positive one. I don’t need to stand on a box and say I’m an “educated black woman,” or I’m the first “black woman who…” because that, to me, promotes the separatism we’ve been struggling to destroy for years, and please, someone stop accusing me of trying to “speak proper,” which obviously indicates black people do not have the capacity to demonstrate suitable diction. Since when does someone’s skin color determine how she should act, and feel, and who she should love? I definitely believe each race must be preserved; I don’t want to see us disappear. I will be compatible with someONE, not a general race, who respects me and embraces me. And another thing (yes, I know I should not start a sentence with “and”), I would love to know where and how this standard for “blackness” was created. Thanks; I needed to vent.
Comment by polyglot on 26 January 2008:
NO, it is not possible that some black women share certain qualities and interests with white men that black men simply lack.
I don’t like the phrasing of the question because of the way it references black men, and alludes to some quality that white men possess that is absent in black men.
This is my second post to this type of blog, and I find the answers continue to be along the same lines. I expected a greater deal of acceptance of different races (including our own whatever it may be) on an interracial dating website. Islandt used the perfect word “separatism.” To me, that’s what this type of question breeds.
I don’t think black men are lacking anything for black women. If a black woman wishes to date a white man, then it is because that is her preference. If we have a preference for another race we don’t have to apologize for it or explain it. It is what it is, and it’s no one’s business but yours and the person you are in a relationship with.
I think some people feel that they must make some justification for why they have chosen to date someone outside of their race. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS. If you tell someone that you prefer peaches to nectarines, are you then required to divulge your entire dietary history to explain why? I think not.
Tell those nosy people who question your choice to mind their own business. Don’t think that’s nice? Tell them it’s Biblical, 1 Thessalonians 4:11a. Tell them nothing at all if you want. Love your choice, and let the Nosy’s lump it.
Comment by yourluvjewel on 26 January 2008:
I don’t think it’s a matter of ‘lack’ but of all-around interest. These days (when rap artists are collaborating with country singers), it’s not hard to find a black man who likes rock, metal, country, etc.. But that same black man may be making the exact same assumption about black women.
Off topic for a second, why do people always list music (especially rock) as a commonality when ‘defending’ their right to date outside of their race.
Music was created for pleasure, not race. Commonalities based on dating someone because like you, he likes rock or Heavy Metal don’t seem to hold much weight.
Rock and HeavyMetal can be and is enjoyed by many people of different cultural backgrounds. You can find these art-appreciating people in any race, whether or not you’ve met them, sought them out or befriended them. It should be assumed that they do exist. Please tell me your relationship and the building of it, goes far beyond the discussion of music.
As far as not being ‘black enough’. Yes, there are alot of brothers who refuse to accept an educated sister for her graceful poise, articulate speech and precise dialect. But it’s not to be said that appreciative brothers don’t exist.
I am a black woman and I am physically attracted to white men. It can seem shallow to some but physical attraction is the initial draw. When those men that return the attraction connect with me, there are fireworks.
My dating a white guy is not a statement that I think black men are lacking. That’s ludicrous! I would assume it would be just as bad for an interracial dating white woman to say the same about white men.
Onto the treatment factor, it is true that some of us sisters have received better treatment from white guys than from black guys but isn’t this true in most Interracial relationships, anyhow?
When you’re a couple against a world of bigots, don’t you bond closer? Don’t you try harder? Who’s to let a bigot tell you how to live and who to like? But really, it’s give and take. Maybe you should check, do you react a certain way in situations with black men differently than you do with white men? Does your considerate & forgiving nature come out of hiding when dealing with a man of a different race?
As a woman, I know we always tend to say I’ll date a man who will treat me right. This is always a good rule to follow. But choosing to date ANY man reflects your self-worth. If you have found that all the brothers you were dating used you, chances are you were dating a certain type of brother and whatever attracted you to those brothers was not a race thing- it was something that subconsciously attracted you.
It’s sad to admit but yes brothers have definitely worn my patience thin in the past but that’s not to say I haven’t run across a couple of white guys who didn’t do something equally as hurtful. And I’m not going to go swearing off white men for those guys’ actions.
All in all, yes some women are more compatible with certain types of men. Whether they are BW/WM, WW/BM, AW/WM, etc… some things attract us to certain men more than the other but when it all comes down to it, once you pass the ‘attraction’ phase and dive into a full on relationship, chances are it has ALOT more to do with the individual compatibility than ‘basic’ interests.
Because the REAL chemistry emerges when it goes from small talk to real talk–for better or for worse. And what black men or any other men ’simply lack’ is no longer relevant.
Comment by girlsixdiva on 27 January 2008:
Sure, it’s true. But it’s not just limited to those two groups of people. Different cultures/ethnicities are often attracted to someone different than their own. Not a big deal.
Comment by fala on 27 January 2008:
Good point G6!
Comment by black licker on 27 January 2008:
just love the contrast of black on white…i’m and artist and i fine it erotic…..plus black women treat me better…and there just sexier……fine round firm ass….sexy lipps..etc……..i even like the hair that isn’t as soft as white girls…if its taken care of nicely or cut short its fun to run my hands thru it….and braiding can get some nice looks……the lip and hips just keep my package hard all the time……african american women or lucky…white girls are..injecting the lips and doing there squaits for there gluts….come talk to me ladies……houston texas……s.w.houston…peace
Comment by makenit on 27 January 2008:
There have been a lot of pertinent remarks made on this question. The ladies have made some very interesting remarks and the majority of the men’s comments reflect how much of an asshole they are…i.e. “black licker”. People are people…. and like “Islandlt” said I despise people being put in a box, black, white, Asian, Chinese, African or whatever ethnicity you might be. Either you are attracted to someone or you aren’t. Like “polyglot”, I don’t think that we should have to justify our likes and dislikes to anyone. You are who you are and you like what you like….enough said.
Comment by DOP69 on 27 January 2008:
If I may add my little bit please. I have had girlfriends from UK, USA, Jamaica, Germany, Sweden, Norway, France, Australia, Thailand, Gambia, Senegal, Gabon, Cameroon and probably a few places i have forgotten about.
I find it a bit depressing that we differentiate people by colour. For example some people refer to Chinese as yellow people. That is so far from the truth as most of them are white. It is basically a lack of understanding and education and acceptance of other people in the world, their race and heritage. I don’t think that when I look at a lady i think what colour is she first. I think she is either attractive to my personal tastes or not.
Yes I am more attracted to darker skin ladies but that can also be a white lady with a great sun tan so please explain that!!!!
A person is a person. You can have the sexiest looking person in the world no matter what colour their skin maybe as underneath that we are the same anyway. If the two of you do not get on and gel together then it seems to be a total waste of time.
Comment by Nefertari on 27 January 2008:
Reading over this blog…. well let me stop there to insure I don’t judge the guilty.
I am sitting here wondering if I am one of a kind… I don’t date based on color. I date based on compatibility.
I am a professional, well traveled, intelligent, secure within, love myself and others and most of all I am culturally and environmentally aware of my surroundings at all times. With this being said, anyone that sits up and limit themselves to a mate based on “said preference of the color of the person’s skin” has some issue from the past or present that they should address. Alot of people don’t realize that what they font tell alot about them. How can you truly find Love in a lasting relationship when you are carrying around excess baggage from past relationships? That should be the next topic Ria!
p.s. Spellcheck? This a freaking website isn’t? Spellcheck is for work, school, oh shall I say the real world… duh I forgot that many get so tied up in the cyber world and make it their life.. forgive my my cyber obtuseness…
On the real why can’t we all learn to accept others for who they are online and stop attempting to belittle or correct them through font? By the way great topic Ria…
Sheesh
My saying: Love has No color, it has No boundaries, subjects to No barriers, produces No pain and will last Forever!
Comment by Mantronix on 27 January 2008:
Nefertari your probably one of a kind, who dont judge but we all do judge.
To many Blackmen go for white women, because its easier, unfortunately black women gor for whitemen because they are in it for what they can get.
Date whom ever you wish to date, but dont look down on your own because you look down on yourself.
Comment by Glock on 27 January 2008:
Mantronic, let me see if I understand you, white women are easy and black women are gold diggers? Boy did you ever open a can of worms!
And since you posted again, could you please explain your post from a couple days ago? I dying to know what the hell you are saying there!
Comment by Dimpz on 27 January 2008:
I wish Mantronix would own his statement - and not speak for others. Maybe in his experience he only dates white women because it is easier for him. For you to imply that white women are easy is really bad. It is also equally as bad for you to imply that black men only want easy.
I find it grossly insulting when he says black women go for white men because they are in it for what they can get.
Mantronix - before you make such outlandish statements - present your well researched facts first!!
Comment by Glock on 27 January 2008:
Mantronix, clearly you are on the wrong website.
Comment by Vitamensea on 27 January 2008:
I find this to be an interesting statement. I find that “I” (not speaking for all african american women, just myself) am more compatable with white men in some instances. However, I can also connect with many different races and cultures.
Comment by ms.ebonia on 27 January 2008:
Hello to all. I agree, what it boils down to is preference-it is often common to pick someone of your own race and when they lack too many things that you find in a different race, you will disregard the so called norm of sticking to your own kind and go for who you are most compatible wth…however, it has a lot to do with preference.sometimes you are just more attracted to a diferent race…I know white men are more gentle, romantic, and emotionally fulfilling from what i have experienced. For some reason it seems that by nature, or through genes or something they treat women differently. And of course besides them treating me well, I am very attracted to them, as well as all types of men.
Comment by Dimpz on 27 January 2008:
Oooooooooooooooooh please men are men regardless of their race - plenty of decent fine black men, asian men, latino men, and white men - just as on the flip side - plenty of low down dirty dogs in all the races! and genders!!
Comment by Just_me_69 on 27 January 2008:
It dosent mater if you are a white man dating a black woman, a black man dating a white woman, a black woman dating a white man or like me a white woman dating a black man… we al have to lisen to bad remarks from people around us that dosent accept mixed coupels… From people of al colours, white or black, it dosent mater. When I walked with a black man on the street it happend that a black woman come up and spitt in front of me and sad that she was disscusted, that I and al the white hors whit me were fucking her and her sisters husbands to be. And on top of that… than she walked away with her WITE BOYFRIEND… So it was ok for her to date a white guy but not for me to date a black guy… And one white lady on the tram warned me from having kids whit “that” (poninting at my date) cous those kids should not be so nice… and they should have problems in school! We just have to se that this problem is for al mixed coupels, dont mater who is white and who is black.
And pleace dont coment on my spellings… I know its not good.
Comment by hershey1 on 27 January 2008:
Good Evening Everyone,
With regards to “Mantronix’s” previous comments, his motives are clearly obvious. His statements are probably generated to get the audience heated up enough to respond to him. This venue probably gives him some sort of entertainment.
I definitely disagree with his comments, but keep this in mind, the next time you read one of his “thought provoking” comments: The value of the message is directly proportional to the social and intellectual development of its sender.
In other words, the next time you read one of his insightful messages, consider it as blog comedy (smile).
Peace be with you all and date according to your preferences, not society’s. Good luck to you in your search.
Sincerely,
Hershey1
Comment by Just_me_69 on 27 January 2008:
And yes Dimpz… you are sooo right. ther are good and bad guys and girls in all races.
Comment by wiggles on 28 January 2008:
Wow,
Alot of people have commented on this extremely volatile issue. I would have to admit that personally, as a white man in love with a beautiful black woman, that I never really stopped to think about what she might see in me as opposed to black men. I live with a black family in the ghetto who have been gracious enough to give me housing while I am in college trying to go for medical school. Living in their world, I have definitely seen alot that I never saw in my own culture, at least not while I was younger. But I personally have never really wondered why my girlfriend chose me over another guy, say a black man. I just have always thought that if it works, it works. Of course, I think all black women are beautiful, and I have personally never dated a white woman, but that has just happened by chance. Like everyone else in this blog has mentioned, could it be just preference?
I don’t know if it will ever be that simple, especially because society seeks to blur those lines very often and requires an “excuse” shall I say for why someone chooses to date outside of their race. I guess the best way to say it is that you date who you are. If you relate to the black culture of America more than the white culture of America, you will probably end up with a black woman/man. And the opposite is true. My sister personally prefers middle eastern men and has for quite a few years now. For her, it is a culture she has lived around and grown to love, therefore I think the love for those men comes inherently.
But I am young, and so many wiser than me have posted before. So probably, just take this as an opinion of one man seeking to live for others :-).
P.S. Oh, I forgot to mention that if black women are looking to date me for money, they are gonna be very sad…….I am so poor I make my dog look rich. Guess that’s what college does for you, especially when you work your way through it :-).
Comment by Rae56 on 28 January 2008:
It is true that I find myself in the position of having more common interest with white men than with black men. This is true both socially and professionally. Being born and raised in an area that is predominately white and white men are more readily available is also a factor.
Comment by cocoadream on 28 January 2008:
Why all this crap about color in the first place? Getting pretty fed up with all the racist crap on this site. Seems the members here are about as racist as it gets if they are SO caught up in color over other more important things, like what kind of person someone is on the inside.
Thanks loads for making me embarrassed to even be ethnic about now.
Comment by ethereal99 on 28 January 2008:
This is a loaded question guaranteed to stir up controversy. It’s ok though because we are here to discuss, agree or disagree. For starters, what qualities does a white man have that a black man lacks? Well, which black man & white man are we talking about? Traits that I believe every woman looks for: respect, monagamy, culture, financial stability, humor, entertainment, protectiveness etc. can be found in any individual. It’s all down to preference. Just like ice cream.
Comment by briknlace on 28 January 2008:
ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS: SKIN COLOUR NEVER MATTERS ITS COMPATIBILITY,LOVE AND ATTRACTION just because you are dating a white man today and you are black woman doesnt mean theres no black man compatible with you.
Comment by floridagem on 28 January 2008:
Ummm… and what would one say if perhaps each individual involved were blind? Would colour matter? I’d think not. It should be that the chemistry, connection or compatibility with another stem from qualities each sees within (that’s what lasts in the long haul anyway). How superficial we’ve become! God made us all different to spice up things simply b/c he likes variety and so should we, if we are truly created in His image. So, let’s enjoy the colours and hues, embrace them and love them b/c the choice is ours!
Comment by gillian4u on 28 January 2008:
Interesting topic. I’ve dated both Black and White men and can honestly say that I’m definitely more attracted to the latter. I simply find that Caucasian males (and I can only attest to my own past experiences) do treat me with the deepest respect, kindness and care like no other. For me, I don’t think it’s a physical color preference but rather a cultural thing. I can openly communicate and share ideas, interests, etc. with a White male or engage in intimacy without any concern about any hangups. As mentioned in other posts I’ve read, I must agree that it’s all a personal, individual choice.
Comment by pinklady47 on 28 January 2008:
wow its getin a bit heated i have been out with white guys and black guys too but as a white woman i find black men more pleasing to the eye and better company but surely its a persons preferance whatever the race or colour. so if a black woman prefers a white man or vice versa let them be and let them find happines in each other x
Comment by Seventy on 29 January 2008:
Overall, I have been treated far better by whites in my personal and professional life than by blacks. I don’t understand the existing competition. I don’t plan to coexist in a particular culture environment, it just seems to happen irregardless of me being mixed. For instance, there are continuous open announcements in the job market for anyone who wants to participate in various training assignments, rotations, or in exec education yet I’m always the sole female amongst white men. There were open calls for anyone who wanted to play in sports; however, I probably interacted with one possibly two blacks while I was a member of several athletic teams: swim, hockey, sailing, and skating. And yes, I do like rock music.
Comment by IvoryT on 29 January 2008:
Black licker rules!!! (just playin’) I just can’t stop giggling about that one
In my humble opinion though, it is about preference! Which develops from experience, which starts in our early development and continues throughout our lives. Who likes to be burned by fire? Why not? Because we learned through experience that it hurts, so we PREFER not to be burned. I dated many white women before I dated a black woman (or any other ethnicity). I was attracted to other ethnicities but not mature enough to handle the ignorant bigotry of my social group. I was being molded by my peers. As I developed and matured and became my own person, other’s opinions no longer mattered and I followed my preferences. It is initially a visual attraction that most of us have, followed by a deeper understanding of what is inside the pretty package. My upbringing has influenced me, my adult experiences, and now I have a developed preference for what I as an individual like. The outside appearance catches our interest, then it moves to a different level and what’s inside either holds or diminishes that interest. This, I believe, holds true to all things in the physical world…Preference through experience!
Comment by misotall on 29 January 2008:
Reading this blog, it’s clear that there is a wide range of opinion out there. In my field of healthcare imaging, we have both color palettes and gray scale maps for looking at images. It is obvious that the subtle diferences in gray shades from white to black is a much more sensitive and eye pleasing way to evaluate than simply juxtaposing Red/Yellow/Blue. White, Black and Gray are all one the same scale, just at different intensities. Until we evaluate folks by their intensity rather than color………..
Comment by kobjet on 29 January 2008:
I fell in love with a black woman years ago and have cherished every moment since to date in and out of my race. It just so happens that I find the attributes of a black woman, including their character and our compatibility, match up well with me. It is a definitive preference, but the truth is I am open to all if the chemistry is right.
The statement posed above, however, can be easily misinterpreted. Saying any one race lacks what another does is not only narrow-minded but absolutely wrong. That is a stereotype that should be shot down for its ignorance. Yes, the past shapes us, but there is no quality I possess that isn’t shared by another of multiple races. And the same is true across the board.
Comment by cocokisses on 31 January 2008:
I don’t even have to comment…most of you have said it all for me
Thanks!
Comment by Lebanese-man on 31 January 2008:
Love is colorless, it is a great feeling when we find it and live it. I must say the inner beauty of my black woman made my love to her on the greatest gift I have been blessed with.
Comment by Eva on 7 February 2008:
Absolutely! As a black woman with a corporate job, obtaining a college education, possessing a love of Guns and Roses and Led Zeppelin, and who can’t wait for the premiere of “Lipstick Jungle,” it’s easy to see why I would be more compatible with a preppy white man than a black one.
Comment by write66 on 8 February 2008:
Finally, some sanity on this blog (but thanks for the comedy too). Deep down, I believe we all (maybe even Mantronix) simply understand that we love who we love. Maybe we can’t categorize or dissect the rationale. We can only embrace it and appreciate our special someone when she (for me!) comes along.
Blessings all!
Comment by Darkcowgirl on 9 February 2008:
I agree I have absolutely no commonalities with black men, so they are usually very mean to me.
Comment by Hairybear on 10 February 2008:
I just prefer dating Black woman due to he fact that alot of them are not into macho images and money–but –just wanted to be loved and treated with dignity and respect
Comment by Criminoloigist on 13 February 2008:
Well speaking as a white male who has only ever dated black woman. I can say that I love how black woman look, but beyond that there has to be an ideological connection otherwise you not being with the whole person.
I really don’t think all white/black men are stuck in their ‘image’ of ‘identity’ - what I mean is that I have seen very good black/white guys who treat their woman with great respect and their opposite who don’t.
But to answer you question I think that in order to meet someone who is moving in the same direction as you then you should be willing to look both inside and outside of your own race (I really don’t like the term race, but save that for another day).
Do white guys really have more in common? If you’re an educated, ambitious and loving you might find men who happen to be white who have these attributes, so these attributes are what you find in common. So is it a numbers game where there are more white guys who have this attitude, then black and if so why?
I think that are some sad individuals (black and white) in the world who really don’t see the beauty of a woman.
Two last points or thoughts - race is an ideological concept there is no fixed position in terms of personality of individuals, yes culture shapes the mind. So what does this say about the lack of good black men or is it just the case that in looking at white men you have found that there is more good men in the world?
Ow and why do I only date black woman – truth is I don’t know I just don’t fight it. I found them attractive when I was young and I am very happy with it. I don’t talk rubbish about white girls nor do I only sleep with woman because they are black I need, like you seem to be saying a connection that can hold my attention beyond the bedroom or where ever you do your thing!
Take care of you
Anthony x
Comment by crystied on 15 February 2008:
The question is loaded with presumptions….it assumes that all white men have the same or a compareable personality type, yet there are variances in black women… a disscusion based on a false premise…comments are interestimg however.
Comment by The Natural Woman on 16 February 2008:
I’m going to marry a wonderful man (who happens to be white) in April. I am his rock, his strength, his port in a storm, his better half, his contemporary and his partner in the journey called “life”.
He knows how to be a man. We spoil each other rotten. We mean the world to each other. We could care less how society views us. Five years of being with him is only the beginning. I am most appreciative of having such a wonderful man and I will NEVER leave his side.
I never dreamed that a blind date could lead to this. We’ve been together ever since. I’m not saying that only white man can “save” black women. I have nothing against black men whatsoever. I’m only saying that I’m happy (ecstatically happy!) with the man I have!
Comment by The Natural Woman on 16 February 2008:
Oh, I forgot my “signature”
–”Beauty, grace, character and charm are the jewels in the crown of The Natural Woman.”
Comment by Jeff on 17 February 2008:
It seems to me…and this is just in general, very general, but…black women-at least American-seem to appreciate a man for what he is, as a man and a person, as compared with white women. Seems to me that white women-again, just in general, seem too interested in their own vanity and the size of a man’s paycheck and material holdings. Not to say that this doesn’t hold some valid importance, after all, who wants to marry a pauper and live like one.
But it’s my experience that black women-and women of color in general-seem to have their priorities and values a little more straight as compared with ww.
White women today are like little kids let loose in a candy store, imo. Somewhere along the line they got it in their heads that because they breathe they are deserving of everything their hearts desire.
Sorry if that second paragraph sounds mean, but I’d be lying if I said otherwise.
Comment by Nick Carter on 17 February 2008:
As general as the stated question is (Is it POSSIBLE that SOME Black women…), such that the answer is almost certainly, yes, I would suggest even more generality to get to the heart of the matter. SOME Black women share certain qualities and interests with SOME white men that SOME black men simply lack.
As has been said, it is all about the qualities of the individual. All “White men” are no more the same than all “Black women” or ALL of any other group. I would guess that there are few Black women who would find that they share “qualities and interests” David Duke mor than they do with George Duke.
Comment by fala on 17 February 2008:
Gotta say I agree with Eva.
Comment by funny how on 17 February 2008:
Sitting behind the computer screen everyday… hoping that this time round… the white man you met has at least 87 percent of the qualities that you are looking for… and then Bang! he starts comparing you all the other black women on the site….. funny.. but truth is men will always be men .. black.. or white you might get alot of similarities betwen white men and black men… i guesss point is to just find a man that shares qualities that you desire,, just a Man kikikiki
Comment by vt33 on 18 February 2008:
Wow it got ugly on this one. I am reading we are dating white men for the money, and folks spitting on others, because of the choice they choose, and spell check, right down to bragging about who we are.
I am still a firm beleiver in life, and we have the right to love the person who fits us like a glove.
Note to you all, you don’t choose your mate, the man above sends you your mate, those of you who are strong enough to handle relationships, with other colors survive the storm.
Silly me always thinking love is blind. It is clear by a lot of the blogs here, the whole black women and white man thing, still isn’t being accepted. Sad to say I don’t think it ever will. Truth be told it is a shame, because in the year of Obama vs Hilliary. Black man vs White woman, that is more accpeted than, this simple blog, you would expect the name calling and the rest to rear it’s ugly head in this race, yet it is accepted. Say black woman and white man, all the negative comes out, from the root to the tooth.
Strange what people are willing to “accept” and what they “say” they believe.
NO JIBBERISH INSULTS PLEASE!
IT’S JUST A THOUGHT!
Comment by outpass35 on 18 February 2008:
I have always dated outside my race since I was younger I remember when I was 7th grade and a brought a free home that was in 8th grade my dad was not shock but my mom was who would say this was my futue husband yes he was white my mom and dad had a heated arguement over it and years later got over it. But I had always been attracted to white men and most of them would ask me out, So as my dad said years earlier love is color blind.
Comment by rubono on 18 February 2008:
wow! just stumbled into this war zone and need time to read all the very (emotional ) responses.the short ans. is yes!. but i feel much more than that. before i go “I’ll be back” can the question be reversed “Is it possible that some black men share certain qualities and interests with white women that white men simply lack?” so are some black brothers more able to relate with white woman? there’s a slue of them together and for a long time and happy. and discount the curious one nite stands please. fortunately i have never entered into a one nighter with any the several fantastic loving black woman i have known and currently know and love.
Comment by Chris on 19 February 2008:
vt33. Yawnnnnn.
Comment by Alex on 28 February 2008:
What’s up everybody I have been reading the blogs and comments left on the page, and i have some agreements and disagreements. FIRST and FOREMOST to all my black women, I love you all, and honestly I really have a hard time being attracted to another race. Being a black man is the hardest thing to do in life. There are several brothers out there looking for a strong woman to be by their side, but what I have noticed is that we are being judged for what we lack instead of what we have. Every person in life is a work in progress, and no one person is complete. I am 25 and most black women I come in contact with believe that what you have in you posession makes you what you are. A lot of you say that you have more in common with white men that a black man, that maybe true. But me myself I cant talk to a woman, that would have had me killed just by lookin at her. I know this might sound like a broken record but my parents told me a long time ago you have one strike against you because you are a black man, and no matter how you spin it that is true. If we dont fit the quota we are considered shiftless, lazy, and uneducated because of a piece of paper with our name on it saying we completed this study or we have a check with a a certain amount of zeros attached to it. I myself am tired of the stereotypes that we have been put in. My father and grandfather fought to make our lives better as black people, and thats something I never forget, so before you think all black men are the same stop looking at the obvious when you looking for a man, cuz we all have dicks and that means no matter what race we all can be dickheads. You might think that man can treat you better cuz he isnt black, but remember this some of the greatest so-called pioneers to walk the face of the earth took their ideas from a black man, and no matter what we are the backbone for what this country was built on. No I am not a racist, but when you get stopped at routine traffic stop numerous times and you wasnt speeding, reckless driving, or using drugs, they just wanted to “check the car out” even though you can run the tag from ya squad car, you can’t bypass that. Another thing if you judging ya man on how intelligent he is, wrong, allow that intelligence to be shown in action not necessarily to be shown on a piece of paper. That’s to me all my so called intelliegent college graduates out there.
Comment by raregem7 on 2 March 2008:
Hi,
I am a very successful Black Woman. I am very attractive, intelligent, romantic. The whole package. With regard to the question. It’t not a matter of being more compatibel to white men over black men, it’s a matter of preferance. I really enjoy being with WHITE MEN. I have since I was a teenager. It’s just something about being with a man of another race…the differences…the excitement…the mystery. I am a person that loves romance and passion, and I have found this with white men. Every single one that I have ever dated are very romantic. They go the extra mile to please you and satisfy you. Once again, it’s not a “race thing,” it’s an “individual thing.” All men are different. It’s like black men that are attracted to white women. I enjoy seeing them together. In fact when I see a brother with a white woman, I go out of my way to say hi to the lady, because too often they get a lot of negative responses from sisters and it should not be that way. People should be able to be with whoever they are attracted to. I am so attracted to white men. Especially attractive, professional men. Men with class, strength and vision. It’s just a preferance. It’s like vanilla ice cream over chocolate. Some people like chocolate and some like vanilla. It’s just a matter of taste.
Comment by raregem7 on 2 March 2008:
If the truth would really be told, most people are attracted to “other races.” If you research history, for generations men, white men, have been drawn to women of color. It’s the excitement, the differences, the myths. You know. It’s the forbidden fruit that you want to taste to see if the rumor is true after all…you want to satisfy your curosity. For the most part, love is deeper than color. We hear that all the time, but when two people truly fall “in love” not lust with each other, color is unimportant. All they know is that they want to spend their lives together and what ever it cost them, they are willing to pay the price. After all, whatever you really have to pay for you appreciate more than something you get for free.
Comment by kanuquabea on 5 March 2008:
WOW I have never been so speechless!!!
Kanu
Comment by rahman on 8 March 2008:
My first love was a bi-racial (white/indian) girl. It just happned. It didn’t have an ending I like to share, but led me to believe that you cannot control who you fall for. If a BW is attracted to a WM.. kismet…
Comment by chmpgne on 10 March 2008:
Wow! How do I keep this short and precise?
I am just excited to find out that there are other black women who have had the same experiences as I have had. I have also mostly been approached by caucasian men. I will admit that I have also had some really bad experiences caucasian men. However, I have found myself being alot freer to express who I am in interracial relationships. No apologies to those who don’t want to hear this, but I’ve been able to get a far deeper connection with white men.
In terms of interests: They range from activities “I should like as a black woman? to those “I’m not supposed to be involved in because black women don’t do that?. I am an adventurous woman and for the most part have had that embraced by men outside my race. It is not very endearing if you are called a “freak” because your interests and goals in life don’t line up with the race that you were born into. I don’t know where it is or who created the “racometer? for how black I should be. But don’t contact me if you find it. I’m happy being me. I love that I am can be trendy, change my hair style as much as I want, but I’m also a geek at heart. I am also thrilled that the friends around me are different from me regardless of their skin color. That’s what makes life exciting.
On that note, I will date and marry the man that sweeps me off my feet regardless of where society’s standard lie. All in all, it is foolish and impossible to confine or try to derail our hearts desires just because society says so. The heart wants what it wants.
Comment by 2ute4u on 12 March 2008:
I personally agree with the lady who said there are certain activities that she pursues which places her in contact with white male and thus, she is around them more. Also, in the post secondary institution I attended at the time, there were few black males to black females. So it was normal to pair up with a study buddy who was non-white. The fact that the black population in Canada is not a tremendous size,so, it ’s not unusual to “hook” up across the ethnic lines -our government declared usa muticultural nation. thank God, slavery was abolished on this shore in 1789. I am so tired of white males in the U.S.,asking me if I’ve dated a white man b/4, it is so weird to hear that. I choose to date white men because I grew up with them,went to school with them. I don’t have to justify liking rock music or why I play the guitar. I do not dislike my black brothers,(I hear a few white male telling me that they do not like black males,but you know what, my father is black my bio-brothers are black,and I love them deeply. This does not mean that I’ve abandoned my ethnicity.I am educated about our African history and it’s not limited to slavery, because we have been more than that)but the few that I know are not the ones I want to partner up with,for the simple fact that they don’t measure up as my intellectual equal. I don’t believe in hating my beautiful black self or my people. Onlyin Americais this so called racial differences is so pronounced and I’m bloody well sick of it. You know, the media truly keeps it alive because race/ racism is a commodity and we fall for it all the time,what a shame!! Is is not time to divest ourselves from the enslavement of xenophobia?
Comment by brownliu on 12 March 2008:
WHAT A GOOD QUESTION, IT A CHOICE NOT A COLOR THING. IT ABOUT THAT SWEET FEELING. EYES MET HE SMILE YOU SMILE AND IT FEELS RIGHT.NO MATTER WHAT RACE OR SKIN TONE. WHEN IT FEELS RIGHT YOU KNOW ITS NOT HIS COLOR, IT’S JUST SOMETHING THAT SAY IT IS O.K. BUT I HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WITH WHITE MEN. HIKING, BOATING,R0DEO’S LOVE THE BEACH. MOST BLACK MENT HAT I DATED HATED THE OCEAN.I THINK WHITE MEN IS MORE OPEN.EASIER TO CUDDLE WITH-LOL.
Comment by Jada B. on 17 March 2008:
I am a 21 college student, African-American college student who is attracted to men of other ethnicities. I am skeptical of dating them however, because I see that society is not as accepting to these relationships as they are of BM/WW. For black women who are dating men of other ethnicities, how do you keep your relationship focused on the two of you and not what society thinks of you two? Thanks. Once again, I do not mean to offend anyone, I just want some advice
Thanks and God bless!!
Comment by cat lady on 19 March 2008:
No. its not possible to have more in common with a person of another color. You just like to show people that you will do it. I don’t have anything in common with black people, you worship different, talk different, have different kinds of friends, eat different, etc. I could go on and on. There is a separation between the races and always will be and should be. Be proud of who you are, but do not mix as you do not belong. I would not belong in a black or asian community and you do not either. You do it for the shock effect on people. There is always a certain low class of people that will date or marry one of another race, but look around and see them for what they are, no one else would have them.
Comment by skyprincess1 on 20 March 2008:
Jada..you should not care what society thinks. You do what your heart tells you. You are always going to run into people like catlady, but she is entitled to her opinion and has every right to express it no matter how ignorant it may be. You could quite possibly miss your chance at finding the love of your life because you fear what society thinks. Life is short and it goes by quickly…just live, laugh and love.
Comment by nahasi on 1 April 2008:
sometimes i have had more in common with white people, because of some of the music that i like, which is older alternative, and the broad range of topics that i like. not to say there are not black people who are like that, but i think for whatever reason, black people tend to qualify you a certain way if you are into “different” things. and the same can be said for many whites, its as if who you are and what you like should be determined by your color.
i have had white people give me a hard time for liking this or that and the same goes for blacks. i feel that any man i meet who can appreciate me for who i am, he will get the very best of me in return. i have ocassionaly had white boyfriends, and in terms of our likes, i can probably say that yes we had more to talk about than i have with some black dates.. im not saying this is better or worse or that the black men were not interesting.i have told myself in this age of greed and false pride, if i am fortunate enough to find anyone who gets me and who can just love me for who i am, ill be blessed! whatever his background will be secondary
Comment by Jenny Jen Jen on 2 April 2008:
My mother(white, a nurse) was happiest when married to her her second husband (my father,black) who was a Doctor. I was lucky enough as their daughter, to have been brought up in Wales at a time when the likes of 50 Cents had not been heard of. Your role models were your parents,brothers and sisters.
I’ve lived in an environment where 99% of the population is white. Yes, I am more so attracted to white men and so what?
There is so much more to someone than the colour of their skin. The only black man’s views and opinions I respect are my father’s and he wouldn’t care who I was with as long as they were worthy of me….think on it.
Comment by blkdiamond on 2 April 2008:
So many people on here talk about color this, color that and he treated me like this so now he treats me like that, blk this white that, im educated this and that. Who cares,love who you love,I mean seriously do we go out and say well, I am going to see if I can find any white guys to date today because a black man has hurt me or has gold teeth? Do white guys say well I am gonna find me a blk woman because my ex had such a flat ass, that I could not stand it? Gold diggers, flat asses, gold teeth who cares. I see so many women blk and white who say that they are happy with themselves and they want to find a person of another race, but yet we are going to the store to purchase some hair, nails, ass implants,breasts and get lipinjections, whats up with that? Then you have white guys that love blk women so much but they want them to have white woman hair and nails or bigger boobs, Blackmen want their white women to have a blk girl ass and full lips. This is stupid, and plainly ignorant, we love who we love because they make us feel special, not because they can buy us anything or wants us to be who we truly arent, race and color is that, humans is what we are and I date humans, not the color of their skin?
Comment by Girlychica on 3 April 2008:
I echo what “yourluvjewel” is saying. Regardless of who you choose to date, it’s a cop-out when people say I like white (or black) men/women because they like rock (or hip-hop) music. You can find any race of people listening to any type of music. And a relationship is built on more important matters than musical taste.
Having said that, I am a black female that likes white guys. Yes, I am college-educated, like all types of music, speak proper English, and work in a corporate environment, and I don’t think those are things that should be considered “white” per-se although more white men do fit that category than black men.
Although there are more black female college grads than black males, the reason I choose to date white guys is because I’m simply more attracted to them. If I really wanted to find a black guy that acted “white”, yes, it would take a bit longer to do, but I could do it. And it’s not about money either, I’ve dated broke white and black guys. I’m not looking for a sugar daddy, lawyer, doctor, or whatever, just a guy as ambitious as I am! After all, if I didn’t value education and hard work for myself, wouldn’t I be flipping burgers at Mickey D’s?
Comment by buba on 5 April 2008:
my name is john.i have my best times hang out with black ladys.white lady ack like you need to get on your knees and pry to them.so any one up for a date with a good old boy??
Comment by Teacherlady on 9 April 2008:
To all my beautiful brothers and sisters (i.e. “black” and “white”), may we all live to exemplify the truth - that “We are all members of ONE race, the HUMAN one; everything else is just cultural.”
And to Cat woman, please go back to your lair et. al cave because you’ve obviously been living among the rocks (or maybe you’re on some rocks). Do us all a favor and disappear from all future posts - we don’t need you taking up space.
Comment by Girlychica on 12 April 2008:
To Jada B. who said
“I am a 21 college student, African-American college student who is attracted to men of other ethnicities. I am skeptical of dating them however, because I see that society is not as accepting to these relationships as they are of BM/WW.”
Why do you care what “society” thinks? Did you know at one time “society” thought you were only good enough to be a slave and you couldn’t read or write? What if you end up having a child with down syndrome, or is overweight or something? “Society” won’t accept the child, so will you give it up for adoption? If you want to date other races, then do it, for yourself. There are always people who won’t like me, but you don’t see me trying to commit suicide.
If you’re black and don’t like white guys b/c they don’t do anything for you fine, but don’t be afraid to date someone because of what a racist (who doesn’t like you no matter who you date) says about the relationship. Just realize, not everyone is ignorant. And everytime you’re out with your white bf, there may be another girl who will now think “it’s ok” because you’re doing it.
And there are always trashy white people like cat lady because the most they’ve traveled is to the trailer next door. Remember that race and class are exclusive. And ignore the ignoramuses, don’t feed their hate. If God didn’t want us to mix, then it wouldn’t be possible.
Comment by diamondrose on 15 April 2008:
most white males have a lot in common with blk females
when it comes to romantic ideas. they act more rational, but as has been rightly said it all boils down to prefernce of the individual in question
Comment by youngstown, ohio on 17 April 2008:
ok ok ok. hi all of yall doing? weel im e im a white male 19 years of age. i grew around black ppl all my life hell all my friends are even black. also at the same time i grew up around my family who are all white. now the queston at hand here is what, are black women more compatible with white men? well let me set this straight okay from a first hand point of view. what i have learned over the years while dating mostly all black females and white females is that point blank it doesn’t matter what so ever what color you are.
Comment by youngstown, ohio on 17 April 2008:
ok ok ok. hi all of yall doing? weel im e im a white male 19 years of age. i grew around black ppl all my life hell all my friends are even black. also at the same time i grew up around my family who are all white. now the queston at hand here is what, are black women more compatible with white men? well let me set this straight okay from a first hand point of view. what i have learned over the years while dating mostly all black females and white females is that point blank it doesn’t matter what so ever what color you are.
i have dated so many black women and i have come to realize and always knew women, no matter waht the race are all the same. so are families. what this situation comes down to ultimately is how a person was raised. i have been to some females houses who parents were down right racist i thought when first meeting them but after talking them and showing respect toward them and their daughter it all went well. all that is, is most african american families are taught to hate white ppl bcuz thats waht their grandparents were and it is just passsed down through generations. other then that we are all the same its just a matter of respect
Comment by Delphine on 22 April 2008:
I am a black American woman who is the child of a black mother and father. My father is a physician, my mother a scientist. Both are now in their 70’s. Talk about feeling out of place. My mother was born in Mississippi, my father in Virginia. My mother is fluent in French, and my father has worked with Doctors Without Borders for 20 years, and also hold a private practice. Both are well traveled. I have always dated outside of my race due to my parents influence. Even though both of my parents are black they always encouraged me and my two sisters to travel, experience other cultures, and make friends of all races. I am currently married to a white american man, but dated only black men for many years. After almost constantly being told that I was “weird”, “tried to act white”, or was “not black enough” by black american men I decided that the majority black american are not cultured or into learning about other ways of the world, and are quick to judge people . It got to be frustrating. I am a product of my environment. My parents raised us part time in the suburbs and part-time in our summer house which was on the East coast. My parents were definitely not the norm for their time, and extremely progressive. To make a long story short. I have more in common with black men from European countries or white american men. I asked my father why black american men have strayed away from what it meant to be black in america when he was coming up. He said that dignity, integrity, the importance of education and family,self worth, and the importance of speaking proper english have all been thrown to the wayside. He can’t believe how bad it has gotten. He told me that he and my mother raised my sisters and I to be chameleons, to be able to ace a job interview at IBM or hang out with inner city kids and feel comfortable. He says that the black youth of the last 10 -15 years don’t think it is important to better themselves. That it is more important to become a ball player or rap star (even though only 1% of the population will ever have the opportunity) I think he has a point. What it really comes down to is…I have more in common with educated foreign men or educated white american men than I do with black educated or uneducated men in America.
Comment by Itsirie on 25 April 2008:
I’ve been reading the posts and I find the opinions fascinating because it can be difficult to get honest feedback on the subject since no one wants to offend anyone. I’m not sure how I reached this site and will probably never return so feel free to share your thoughts with me darby_trenton@hotmail.com. I am a black woman married to a white man and I must admit I’ve never given any serious thought to my previous dating choices. As a child I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood, but I clearly remember having a crush on Peter Brady from the Brady Bunch. This leads me to believe that my heart is fairly pure. I wasn’t drawn to him because he appeared to have money, or because anyone had done me harm. I simply thought he was cute. That simple logic has set the stage for most of my dating. If I saw someone that I found attractive, I wanted to get to know him. There are choices that I have made in my life that have placed me more in the company of white men than black men; attending a predominantly white university, living in a predominantly white neighborhood and taking a corporate job with few black men. For many years however, I was still able to cross paths with black men, many of whom I subsequently dated. As I got older and began to look toward marriage and family I must admit that I saw very few educated black men with whom I could hope to build a future. Now I’ll admit I didn’t ’search’ for a black guy that fit this bill. I didn’t ’search’ for a white guy that fit the bill either. I simply began to notice that there was an abundance of one and not the other. Both white men and black men would approach me, but as I might meet 2 black guys in a month I’d meet 10 white guys. So for some it just may be how it all plays out based on availability. Now that I am married and in love, my opinions are totally biased. I love my husband and he is now the ruler with which I measure every other man. The more positive experiences you have, the more situations you will seek that ‘may’ bring about a similar result. Likewise, if you have had negative experiences, you will attempt to avoid those situations. This is a natural response to life (from birth) don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. If you are able to find a wonderful man that loves you of any race, you are already ahead of the game.
Comment by Rayne on 2 June 2008:
I have posted on another site, involved in a relationship with a White man. We are both growing together. I have dated white men before and he has dated black women before. So, color is not a problem in our relationship. I guess time will answer if we are compatible or not. I am looking forward to lots of communication between us and so is he. When we do not communicate then I believe there will be problems.
Comment by Enjoem02 on 11 July 2008:
I love white man. I have nothing against black men. I just have always been attracted to white men.
Why can’t people just be attracted to the people that they attracted to and that be the end of it? Oh yeah cause socitiy thinks otherwise…
Comment by ebonedoll on 11 July 2008:
I don’t think I am more compatible with white men.
I was raised by a black man,raised with 2 brothers and a cousin that are black, have two mixed raced boys that call themselves black.
I would sound silly to say such a thing, and it would make it so that I would really need to take a look at how I see myself.
A black woman that says she is only attracted to white men and has the nerve to list the reasons,sounds as bad as a black man that is only attracted to white or other women and does the same.
When I was growing up,I was told more than once how “proper” I speak, and how mannered I was, by my own aunties and uncles.I grew up a military environment, so other black kids sounded like me.
Black men will look all day long…sometimes go out on a limb and say something. But as a rule, white guys will step up and start talking. I live in Tx. so hispanics are the same way.
Do I date outside of my race…yes. But does that make them better than black men…of course not.
Comment by lindasy on 13 November 2008:
Daammn Mantronix! What the hell are you trying to say??? I’m more confused!
Comment by mistersuave1 on 17 November 2008:
Ok, I suppose I can sum my feelings on the matter up by saying I can only comment on my compatibility with people I have personally met. To comment on my compatibility with an entire race is almost meaningless since I will not encounter an entire race all at once. I just deal with individuals, one at a time … the operative word being ‘individuals’. Everyone’s different, has different experiences and expectations, so when dealing with an individual, racial and social stereotypes are pretty much useless as a guide.
Hope this helps.
Comment by lala2qz on 19 November 2008:
polyglot’s answer was the correct one. that’s a silly question. some people are more suited for certain people regardless of color, not all people of any ethnicity are the same. I know very well I’m not compatible with all white men.
Geez, how about these questions,
“Are some Asian women more compatible for black men?” “Are some Asian women more compatible with white men” “Are some Asian women more compatible with Asian men?” “Are some Asian men more compatible with hispanics or latinos?”
regard these as the one above, silly silly questions
Comment by Mahogoney09 on 31 January 2009:
Hey all,
I have to say, I am totally in line with the women on this site. Initially when I started dating back in college, it never really occured to me to date one man over the other based on race. For me, I was approached more by non-black men. When I really started thinking about it was when a Algerian man asked me why I didn’t have the same features he was so used to seeing in most black women: Lips weren’t really full(?), my back side wasn’t big, and I didn’t use the typical slang? My answer then as it still is was, Because I wasn’t raised that way. I have no idea what you consider typical Black women should look like or act, with all the man, many shades of women of color, you have the audacity to ask me such a small minded and very limited question?”
Growing up with a career military father we moved constantly, and always lived amongst officers in the Military on the bases. I attended school where the student population was predominately White; with very few people of color.
I look in the mirror every morning seeing the same face every day. I am African American and it shows in the color of my skin. I don’t however limit that concept to the person I truly am. People grow towards those they closely resemble or have similar qualities. For me it isn’t one against the other. Black or white. I just have a lot for in common with most white men.
Mahogoney09
Comment by YngCaramelQT on 2 February 2009:
As much as I dislike the way this question is worded, I will try to answer it without going into a racial debate on stereotyping White men to be a certain way. However I will say that I don’t find myself more compatible with White men (as there are many White men who fit the stereotype of having the same interests/attitudes/behaviors/etc. of Black men), but I am more compatible with a “type” of man to which the group of men who are that “type” are usually White. What I mean is that there are also Black men, as well as other men of color, that are that “type,” and I am not any less compatible with them than I am with the White men in that group.
So, to answer your question, no. I don’t think that some Black women are more compatible to White men themselves, but some women are more compatible with a “type” that attributes White men more than others. So if all of those Black women met Black men that fit that type, this question would never be asked.
Basically, when dealing with pure compatibility, and not taking attraction or preference into consideration, NO [gender-race] is more compatible to ANY [other gender-race] than to their own. It’s only when you add those other factors that people choose to date other races rather than their own…because of preference and/or attraction NOT compatibility.
Comment by Do Tell on 13 March 2009:
Check out this video and post your comments on youtube. Type in (Why Do Black Men Prefer White Or Lightskin Women?)
Comment by homesteader on 13 March 2009:
Today being Friday the 13 th , I believe Life is controled bye the roll of the Dice . Sometimes a Man will get Lucky , sometimes all seems not to go as wanted but if you keep with the program / Details will soon enough all come together to finish this puzzle called Life . The Beauty of the chase is in crossing the Finish line , no matter what number you are . My Father taught me ; Anything worth doing is worth doing well . We got Blessed when We met here and in the real World We were just a Male and a Female looking for Love . Soon to be Our Second Anniversary / We plan to celebrate with Chocolate cake n ‘ Vanilla ice cream . Color has not one thing to do with two people Love ing one another . Enjoy the Day / We intend to . Amen
Comment by D.L.S. on 16 April 2009:
Heres the deal:If you are gonna date outta your race don’t disrespect your race.If you are a black female don’t look upon a black man like he is scum just because you are dating out of your race, same goes for the black man:if you date out of your race don’t look down on the black woman like she is scum.
Comment by Mamacita on 2 May 2009:
Dating and marriage is all about preference and compatibility. I am so fortunate, because I have had the opportunity to date black men, white men, middle eastern men, hispanic men, european men, etc. Do you know that I found more similarities than differences? If a man has a similar family background, economic status, and moral code as you, then you will click. It is quite unfortunate that many people can only see the differences. Most black americans (and others) have a mixed background. On my mom’s side we have black and native american (cherokee) and on my dad’s side we have black and irish american. So, I like learning about other cultures and appreciating the handsome men of various cultures. So, what@!
In fact, I think that I would personally have more obstacles in a relationship if the man and I disagreed over moral issues. I am a deeply spiritual person and I have just been praying to God to please help me connect with the right man. I didn’t say a black, white, hispanic man, but I just desire a relationship with a single, non-attached, caring man. I am a college educated professional and I just want to find love. Love does not have a color attached to it. Plain and simple!!
Comment by Girlstar7 on 31 May 2009:
I would have to say it is an indiviual choice. I
have dated black men in my life and I have found
the very few men that I have dated in my dating
exsistence. They have been intelligent, very nice
looking, succesful. But? honestly not very good
treatment. I mean no physical abuse, just play
boyish, irresponsiable, mentally abusive, self
serving and not really understanding this black
woman’s simple need to be respected and loved.
I was the kinf of black woman who was very,very
supportive of the black man, patient, loving,
even loved his children like my own 2 children.
And I felt that I deserve good treatment that I
gave to him (them). I stayed away from being in
a relationship for over 4 years because of heart
break from a black man. I’m not saying all black
men are this way. I have girlfriends who are not
gold diggers as myself who also tried to support
a black man and they are tried of the games. I
choose to try something new (white guys) for no
other reason than I heard that can treat you
better. With respect, love, if you need something
their on it!.
I also have a friend who has been with her white guy for seven years and she is very happy. She
dated black guys for years and got tried of the
drama.Why is it ok for black men to date white
women and non black women. But? a black women is
labeled a back stabber if she does the same thing?
I will never hate my black brotha’s,but? I won’t
date them anymore. I know that every white guy is
not nice or consistent with their women all the
time either. I just want a good guy with no BS or
games who happens to be a nice looking white man.
Comment by Girlstar7 on 31 May 2009:
To Mungo: My brotha, all white men don’t have a
pocket full of money. Every black woman that are
interest in dating white men are not after money.
I have dated black men and I was never after their
money either!.I choose a man based on attraction,
intelligence, character, spiritual beliefs. And
is he a fun guy to be with?. Not his money!. But
he does have to have direction and a plan and a
job. Black women want to be respected, loved, so
very needed and allowed to be strong without the
backlash that some black men lay on us. A black
women would love to support a positive black man
with direction and strength. But? not when he’s
so blind and can not reconize her hand of help,
and not looking at it like she’s trying to play
the roll of a man because she’s independent and
honestly provides for the family , a little more
than a majority of you guys. Black women my brotha
need love too. And we are so tired of the “Drama”.
I have a 4 year old black son, whom I will teach
to truly respect balck women highly and all women.
He will be the one that will not allow the stero
type to run his entire life.A strong, intelligent good, cultural and faithful man is what I shall
raise him. He will know all black women are not
gold diggers and cheaters. And all women period
need love and respect.
Comment by BlackLadsteak on 19 June 2009:
Of course,some black women relate MUCH better to handsome Ken doll sort of white dudes rather than the thugs and gangstas
far too many black men seem to emulate.
As for this classically handsome,muscular,beefy-I’m 5-9,218 lb.-life-size Brad doll,as a hot-blooded black lad,OF COURSE I relate FAR BETTER to buxom blonde babes between 25 and 39 than
fat black broads,because these white lasses want me to stud them on our very first couples’ night.
Comment by BlackLadsteak on 19 June 2009:
Oh,and I’ll be 56 July 6,and am said to look between 15 and 20
years younger than my age.
Comment by brownliu on 20 June 2009:
Oh Manronix, whats wrong honey? its ok you just take your time and simply say it.don’t panick it’s not a test.
Comment by bajan_lady on 22 June 2009:
i love black men and would never lower myself, to be a slave for a white man. You black men look stupid with a white woman. i’m sista souljah all the way. it’s not that i don’t have what it takes, i’m approached all day long by white men. I believe that white men can’t do anything for me. I hate the fact that a white woman, would be with a black guy because he’s educated. that’s so sad . open up your eyes it’s not about love, it’s about the money and the stability oh yeah and the dick!! point blank. people just need to keep it real. listen you all talk about love, i think it’s the money that you love what if the white man goes bankrupt what will you do then? because you’ll be so busy falling in love with the gifts.. i personally don’t mean to offend anyone, but that’s the way how i feel.
Comment by tiny on 22 June 2009:
they most murders in the united states are due to white men killing their families and kids. white men are so abusive and controlling who the hecks wants that. you black woman are crazy..
Comment by LunaSkys on 6 July 2009:
Hello everyone. I must say, that after reading the question and the first blog! I am now hooked! I will not tell you my age, but, I am old enough to comment on the question. I have dated (thus far!), Black men, Latin men, Chinese men, Italian men and White men. And…. I’m attracted to all colors! I am a mixed woman, but I have always considered myself as a Black woman. My mother is Black and my father was White(Irish to be exact, R.I.P. Daddy),and I grew up in the hood. So at that time, I was only dating Black men, and sometimes I used to think that my reasons for dating Black men only was because of my neighborhood surroundings. BUT! that was not the case. It was because I had a huge amount of negative people around me. So, I did a little soul searching. Just to make sure that my reasoning for dating Black men only was truly what I wanted for me. And now, I can say that, I have flew over the rainbow. It wasn’t what I wanted! What I was looking for was something simple. But, VERY hard to get. Love, honesty, commitment, communication. Four key ingredients. Now! I think It’s safe to say that, most agree with me on that. But, we all know that sometimes those ingredients are not always everlasting. It can also leave a bad taste in your mouth in which I like to call that “Life’s Experience”. Now you can find those ingredients in any…and I mean ANY MAN OF EVERY COLOR.
So, to answer that question…….. It’s not about what Black men is lacking. Black men are fully capable of meeting any woman’s requirements. And as far as sharing certain qualities and interests with a White man that Black men Lack! Ummm.. Ria! I think you might want to think about re-directing that question to the public, just a little bit more differently. Black or White, Black women, or for that! Any woman of any color knows what she needs and what she is searching for. And if those key ingredients are in that one man!!! Then she will treat him like a King as he deserves. They will share the same qualities and interests as two hearts as one should.
Comment by studman on 21 July 2009:
I think that many black women who are in the professional and corporate world see a lack of black men in these type of environments, so the availability of more white men is one factor why many black women choose to date white men. Another reason why so many black women choose to date outside of their race is because so many black men are dating outside of their race. So if so many black men are dating non-black women that doesn’t leave many available black men at all. As a black man I find that I have more in common with white women than I do black women. I think it is due to my tastes in reading books, computers, and other hobbies that I haven’t found very many black women who also share those things. You can also arugue that the same reasons that black women choose white men so are many black men choosing white women as well. White women treat me a lot better than many black women have treated me although it may be just those specific black women and not all black women. I’m am not racist or prejudiced against black women at all I just have my racial preference. Their may be other reasons why I believe white men like to spoil and pamper black women because most black women think many black men are tightwads with their money when it comes to spending it on them but the ironic thing is that many black men will not be tightwads when it comes to spending money on the white women. As far as sex goes and I have had very intimate encounters with both black and white I feel that sexual expressions or wanting to try more new and different things was more with the white women than with the black women I used to date. I’m pretty sure that there are lots of reasons why black women choose to date white men but I don’t hate on any black woman who chooses to date non-black men because I am myself choose to date non-black woman so who I am to judge and hate on black women for that? The bottom line is capability with each other and sometimes people find more of that by dating outside of their race.
Comment by divastyle_forever on 23 July 2009:
Well, I have read some rather intriguing comments. I don’t think no one color group is compatible with another. It is all about your similiar interests regardless of race. Let us all agreed to date whomever we want and be happy.
Comment by WHURR on 24 July 2009:
Some great posts…
dude named ‘blacklicker’ just made me tell my daughter that she can’t go outside until she is 25
dude named ‘tiny’ has taught me that me and my white friends are due to cut up the family real soon… so when we have our first date… don’t eat the stew
and then there is my favorite … the plethora of diatribes…
excuse me…that was way too intellectual for the character I portray on here…
….DAYUMMM u people type a lot and I aint readin’ all that stuff
That was better!
Comment by Enigma64 on 30 August 2009:
I related the most with the comments from these ladies: salaeyes2, vm, chmpgne, Mahogoney09, YngCaramelQT. I am a military brat myself, and coming from that background (air force), we did not encounter a lot of blacks while living on the air force bases.
I said something about this at a previous job, and a lot of black folks got up in arms about it, claiming there were a lot of blacks in the army, but we weren’t in the army. I don’t know if the ratio has changed now, but at the time my dad was in the military, there weren’t all that many blacks around, so I grew up around white people, and never had any issues with dating white men, because I related with them a lot.
It really isn’t so much an issue of them being white, because I have dated men from a variety of races and cultures, including black men. However, thus far, I have found that the culture I relate to best, and the men who treat me with the most respect happen to be white males.
Like a few of the ladies I mentioned above said, I was also labeled as “too white” by blacks, particularly when I moved to Florida. Some black females even went as far as to directly tell me that they didn’t like me because my hair was too long and too straight, my nose was too small and straight, and my lips were too small, and I spoke too proper. I was called the “white queen,” and the “white princess,” and comparisons were made in the way I dressed, in which I was told that even that was too “white.” It was ridiculous. I have never denied being black, but I also have never denied the other six nationalities in my bloodline either.
It’s a funny thing, but I have noticed as I have read through this post and comments, as well as several others, that the common theme I keep hearing is that regardless of what nationality a man comes from, he seems to treat females outside his nationality with more respect than those in his cultural group. I wonder why that is, but it seems to me that a woman from another culture or nationality is more prized by men, than those of his own race.
Perhaps it is the fact that they are an exotic to that man may be the reason why, as if they prize having something different or outside the norm. I don’t know, I’m just guessing, but I noticed that both black men that prefer women other than black women, and white men who prefer women other than white women, have similar comments and seem more eager to be with, please and/or keep a woman of a different race. And those women seem to appreciate those men more. Just an observation.
As for me, it’s not a race thing. It’s a compatibility thing, and boils down to who I relate to the most. Sometimes it’s Hispanic men, and sometimes it’s white men. On rare occasions, it’s black men. It just depends on the well roundedness of the man, his personality, how he treats me, and most importantly, his spirituality. Peace and blessings.
Comment by NOPLAYER on 31 August 2009:
@ Enigma64 - IMO, I wouldn’t say that men treat women from other ethnic groups with more respect or women are more appreciative of men outside of their ethnic group.
I think when a man or woman dates someone from a different ethnic group, they may experience for the first time, what it’s like to have someone that puts forth the effort to try and understand them as an individual and not just a member of an ethnic group.
Often times people assume they really understand you because they’re from the same ethnic group as you.
They may think you’re a certain way because the men or the women they know are a certain way and sometimes they fail to understand and get to know you as a person.
Often times they’ve formed an opinion of you based on their opinions of the men or women they know with in the ethnic group that you both belong to.
I don’t think people from the same ethnic group do this to eachother on purpose, I think it’s accidental.
The man or woman from a different ethnic group seems to try to understand you better because, in truth they may not know many people up close and personal from your ethnic group.
You can’t help but appreciate when someone’s trying to get to know and understand you and not base their understanding on anything other than what they’ve observe from you. I think it’s only natural that you reward their efforts with respect and an outward display of affection.
JMO
Peace!
Comment by Enigma64 on 1 September 2009:
@NOPLAYER - Well, I tossed that idea out there to see what the responses might be, and yours sounds pretty logical and makes good sense. Peace and blessings.
Comment by homesteader on 1 September 2009:
Noplayer ;
You and I are similiar in that we each are married at this Date Ting site .
” People are Strange ” was a song years ago that I remember .
The color of ones skin has totally Nothing to do with Compatability .
Class now we need to open our desks and get out our Crayola crayons and Coloring books / It may be time to Grow with years of schooling into Individuals with a Common goal in Life .
The Attitudes each Display use Sing their mental capacities / knowledge of life is how Relationships are formed and will grow .
My understanding about Life is that we each shall pass in Gods own time . There are no other Guarantees .
” Trust , Honesty and Respect ” are that which carry individuals to come together in a Mutual bond of Love .
Bottomline being that I can only speak for Myself .
Comment by homesteader on 1 September 2009:
And at AfroRomance / A site designed for Love .
Many still classify everyone with Constant ” Stereotyping ” in their comments .
Somethings will never Change / Look at yourself before you judge others .
A woman will always be a woman and a man shall always be a man .
My God people , We are all born different . Being
” Others ” by years of Heritage by Diversity of Lifes Journeys .
It is a Small World after all .
Comment by homesteader on 1 September 2009:
Noplayer ;
only one question / Did you meet your wife with the Assistance of AfroRomance as I met mine ?
Comment by shotgun007 on 1 September 2009:
Quoting…from Enigma64******
_____________________________________________********” It’s a funny thing, but I have noticed as I have read through this post and comments, as well as several others, that the common theme I keep hearing is that regardless of what nationality a man comes from, he seems to treat females outside his nationality with more respect than those in his cultural group. I wonder why that is, but it seems to me that a woman from another culture or nationality is more prized by men, than those of his own race”*****************
______________________________
My thoughts…you’re 100% on target!!
Comment by NOPLAYER on 1 September 2009:
@ homesteader - No Sir ! We meet face to face here in Nuremberg, Gemany!
Comment by homesteader on 2 September 2009:
@ NOPLAYER - Thank you , and You bring some important topics to light in your comments on Blogs / Personal opinions are formed in each persons daily journeys through life .
Different , yet similiar as to how they have formed a Happy Existance .
I have plenty of time to discuss the otherside , me being classified as White and you with a Black classification . Yet I think our thoughts are similiar in nature . Peaceful , so to say .
We shall remain just People .
I learn daily from your comments / What I have never seen in my own life .
On a joking note ; I wood say the Dark side of life and I realize the injustices one man can place upon another due to Ignorance .
Enjoy , as those that hate everyone cannot possibly be Happy within themselves .
Comment by georgeW1001 on 2 September 2009:
Look at it this way,,,opposites do attract but not always. Where some may find that they have absolutely nothing in common with another human being, they might bond or get to know each other a little better– all to find out they have more in common that anyone else they ever met. Or never judge a book by its cover or make any assumptions whether you find compatibility in a loved one within your race or in a different race.
Comment by lee on 12 September 2009:
For me I have found out I am more comfortable with black women and I know this is going to sound like I am generalizing here but I find black women to be more outspoken and more direct and I really appreciate that. I laugh because I have a friend of mine who is married (not but plutonic because I really her and appreciate her friendship) in which she tells me she is rather shy but when we get togethe I’ve had people tell me that they know who calls the shots but it’s not that I’m not a submissive white man it’s just we gell. For me personally I love dating black women and look forward to meeting the one.
I love to spoil a woman any woman and I have found black women as a whole are more appreciative of that and all in all I feel more comfortable
around black women and I hate using the word BLACK!
Comment by AngelWhisper on 1 October 2009:
I am a 26 year-old Black woman and i have dated black, white, etc. It was never the color of a man’s skin that I desired but something in his eyes, his smile, or just the way he carried himself. God created us all special and for a purpose so to say that one race lacks what another has is saying that God was bias when he made us all. Yes, in the world we live in we all have desires, but remember every man and woman has something special to contribute to life. When I date someone the first thing i look for is does he know and love God because ladies no matter what color he is if he don’t know God your common interests and his skin color will not be enough to support you and help you grow spiritually.
Comment by mimi000 on 4 October 2009:
i just happen to have much more in common with white men, i grew up in a mixed neighbourhood and school and it’s just attraction i guess… can’t help who you fall for hey
lol
Comment by faith1965 on 6 December 2009:
I am black woman, and I once dated a white man who always said black women/white men belonged together and white women/black men belonged together. He would make comments that it didn’t bother him to see black men/white women together because white women are nuts and any black man who wanted them could have them. However, he felt that black men resented black women/white men relationships and wanted both black and white women for themselves. I took that as a learning experience, and whenever I hear a man say he only dates a certain race, is more comfortable with this race, only dates outside of his race or this race of people are more this, that or the other…it raises a red flag for me. I know we all belong to the human race, and some say love is color blind and boils down to preferences. You can find short, tall, thin, fat etc . in all races although some may be genetically predisposed more than others to a certain build. You can find lying, cheating, dishonest, manipulative, mean spirited, bitter people in all races. With the advent of hair dye, colored contact lenses, hair weave, rogaine, botox, plastic surgery, liposuction, breast implants, breast reductions…you can just about duplicate any image the media portrays as beauty except skin color. Yet, tanning beds and bleaching creams have worked wonders there as well. So, the preference comes down to what…race/ethnicity?? And exactly what makes one race/ethnicity more attractive than another? Could it be stereotypes and individuals you come in contact with living up to said stereotypes? Getting back to the original topic, no, I don’t believe some black women are more compatible to white men. In my opinion it will always boil down to individual character, values and perceptions and we have so many influences consciously and subsconciously that it is so very easy to get “caught up.”
Comment by homesteader on 8 December 2009:
People are all individuals / each with their own thoughts as far as what makes them Happy .
My Wife and I , who came together because of meeting online at AfroRomance in 2006 .
We remain just a Woman and a Man in Love .
Life is to Enjoy . Turn the light out we are under the covers to keep warm and neither can see in the Darkness of Night .
Love at the end of the year is totally no different than Love at the Beginning of the year .
People are all the same / only those that choose to see difference will .
Comment by netsilik on 10 December 2009:
Yes Yes and Yes. I happen to be one of those women and proud of it. Since I can rememeber I have been attracted to men of other nationalities. I have zero things in common with a black man, besides skin color. Whats important to me is commonality and being able to relate to the person your with. Black men have too many negativites for me to mention, and I’ll keep it at that.
Comment by netsilik on 10 December 2009:
Why does everything have to be black and white. I happen to like other minority men for example I like arabic and indian men over a white man even more.
Comment by coffeebean on 24 February 2010:
I prefer white educated men with good moral character.
I’ve tried dating black men and it just didn’t work out.
For some reason white men were always attracted to me. I love Bob Dylan,
Aerosmith, etc.
The white men that I dated didn’t mind my dark skin color or kinky hair.
I’ve been married to a white European man for twenty-five years and he
treats me like a queen and I treat him like a king.
Comment by BrownB09 on 24 February 2010:
Ive dated black, white, asian, arabic….after things didnt work out it all came down to them being MEN and our being human of course. I get so sick of people catergorizing someone’s morale , their behavior, qualities etc…. because of their skin color. Whatever your experiences may have been with MEN who happened to be black, there is no way someone can account such a firm belief of them all.
Seems pretty small minded and predjudiced to me.
Comment by Edward, on 2 March 2010:
I always got along better with black woman than white ones,
seems like thier really interested in what your talkingn about and not just faking it or the yea, yea, yea thing and then see ya later when they really dont care
never had a white wife or never in love with a white girl, they all make dumb comments and act totally insecure, or really dont give a darn about anything, I got fed up with it and not im 49 and STILL NOTHING AS FAR AS ROMANCE AND REAL COMMTMENT FROMA,white woman,
shooti dont know it seems like black ladys were always soo much more contented to just talk and get to know the person and made me feel so much more at ease as I knew they really cared,
whereas with a white girl you never know whats going on and theres no peace in anything,
they just rattle from one thing to another,
Not judging no one but what I see is what i see and i see alot more compassion from talkinmg to a black lady than I ever got with my own culture white,
really sad,
It s whats in your heart like God says and not skin color or race, its whats in your heart that counts not what people think or say or do, ifyour happy with each other and you can talk to each other and theres agreement then there it is, no big thing,
maybe its just me but all i see is these woman trying to be like men and in small towns its totally pathetic,
i mean they act like they dont know anything and or even care about you or anything,
like hayseed mentality,
small tows are totally prejudiced and selfish,
Im just tired of giving out and then not getting anything in return,
I mean maybe its the thing about dating a going out with a white woman and then I cant trust them to act right with me or trust them much in what they say,
all i want is to go over toa black lady ask her to talk and then get to be frinds with her and then maybe hit it off, is that too much to ask??????
I sewe things in white teenagers that i dont like like no respect to their elders, or acting off , or the thing that they just dont care, and arew snotty to you,Id really like to talk to and get to know some black woman as i liok e them alot and i was gonna go to this black church and they were on fire for God and its totally cool,
really neat,
please ,,, if youd like to talk and be friends then get back to me ok, feel alone and hard to trust caucasian people in small towns on thier wrong thinking,i think im crazy over black sexy woman and i just go gaga over them, God willing a lady would get back to me on thi stuff ok,
hope too hear from you my black princess, K,C,
Comment by Wonka on 2 March 2010:
It’s possible,I think when people share a certain
commonality,it plays a huge part in whether someone
is compatible for another person.I would definitely
think that there are black woman who do share a cert
ain commonality with a white man and vice versa.How
ever(as the old question goes),why does it have to be black and white?!!,why can’t it be blue and gray
red and green,orange and purple?!!Huh?,LoL!!!!.You
get the point!.
Comment by JAKE on 16 March 2010:
SOUNDS LIKE MANTRONIX IS OR HAS BEEN JILTED REAL BAD SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE, BUT AT THE SAME TIME HAS A HATRED TOWARDS WHITE FOLKS IN ORDER TO DEFEND …….THE COLOR……..,I DON’T REALLY CARE, DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT BIGOTRY CRAP, I LOVE BEAUTIFUL, BLACK, INTELLIGENT, GOD FEARING WOMEN RATHER THATN AN ARROGANT,STUFFY,SELF DESERVING AND SERVING, FILTHY MOUTH WHITE WOMAN THAT FEELS THE WORLD SHOULD BE AT HER FEET, I DONT CARE HOW PRETTY SHE LOOKS, THE MOMENT THAT QUALLITY(IES) PUT’S IT’S HEAD(S) UP, I KICK’EM TO THE CURB………OUTTA KNOW ….WAS MARRIED TO ONE FOR A LOT OF YEARS…..AND AFTER LOOKING AT NETSILIK’S PICTURE, THAT FACE HAS MORE HONESTY AND BEAUTY, THAN ANY PRETTY WHITE FEMALE I HAVE EVER KNOWN……..NOT A PICK-UP NETSILIK!!!, JUST TELLING THE TRUTH THE REASON I AM ATTRACTED TO DARK/BLACK WOMEN………