I’m always blogging about how White guys are getting the hot Asian women… but lets not forget Black guys dating White women.
Black woman-Asian man couples are like considered rare in the US… sometimes even ridiculed as poor matches by whites, blacks and Asians alike. Is this combo freakish as some people who have never seen such a couple put it?
One thing that made me sit and think for a moment is… “Are there fewer white men that are willing to date black women… and even fewer white women willing to date Asian men?” It’s like Black women and Asian men are being left on the sideline when it comes to the interracial dating game. So why is this? Following what most people say, would I be right to conclude that most Black women and Asian men probably aren’t interested in dating outside of their own race?
I believe when people finally get over their rigidity and put a human face to black woman-Asian man relationships eventually they will respect this combo as much as most Americans accept and even laud some other types of interracial unions.
Well I think this would be one viable option to consider in interracial dating… Black women and Asian men should start dating each other more. What do you make of it?
[tags]Black woman-Asian man[/tags]
Lots of beautiful people on this site. I’m AM, 39, and I had a black girlfriend 3 years ago. On top of that, she was 2 years older than me. That was a surprise to my family, but hey, it’s my life. To this day, I’ve yet to see any AM/BF in NY. We use to get a stare from time to time, but mainly from BM in Brooklyn.
I didn’t notice BF so much until after we started dating. She was very flirtatious with me at my best friend’s wedding, and that’s what got my attention. I could not stop noticing BF ever since.
I just love their curves, and that many have that cushion. I’m not says a lot of cushion, cause that’s not attractive, but just more than AF. I guess I like to see that curvy figure. It’s very sexy. I’m not into skin and bones. BF have the look that’s exotic to me, and I guess that’s why I’m attracted by them. I’m still single in Queens, NY…Still working. Hey, it’s a rough economy. What can I say.
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i think asian men are selfish they dont want to date black women ,idont know why.may be i should get response from asian men.
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I must say that i overlooked AM at one time b/c of the stereotype of their being short in the bedroom. I am dating a handsom filipino man and he’s a complete gentleman and hard worker. We are planning our future together. He loves me for me and i him, we want to start a family, but our finances are the priority before anything else. I’m currently a full time student and so is he. He’s strong and caring and yes i have gotten the stares from my own. It is hurtful to see and hear what people say. At this point we dont’ care anymmore. My BF don’t listen to everyone or the stereotype AM are sexy and attractive you just have to find the right person for you.
Mahal Kita (Love You) in filipino.
I hear this from my man all the time and i tell him it every morning. We are very happy with each other.
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hello,
im an asian male and pretty good looking. ive dated primarily outside of my race and am currently dating a black woman. shes actually the third black woman ive dated.
for the most part, i do get a bunch of stares when i walk around with whoever it is im dating. ive dated primarily white, but this just happened because of circumstances and it isnt something i sought out exclusively.
the girl im currently seeing is 12 years my junior and very attractive. we get a lot of stares (not because of the age difference, i actually look just as young as her) but because of the fact that we’re a mixed couple.
black men will snicker about how “they are losing one of their own” or “how my small asian dick can satisfy her”. asians will wonder “doesnt she smell like bad?” or “arent you worried that your kids will turn out black?”
me personally, i dont give a crap what race i eventually end up marrying. everyone is always walking around with some sense of racial and cultural pride, i could care less. bottom line is, no one is right and no one has the right answers to life…except for YOU! as long as youre not out there being a dick, live your life the way YOU need to. end of story.
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I am a black female. I walked through a college campus and a shopping mall and asked asian males their opinon on Asian men and Black female couples. These are of some of the comments I received:
I think it’s all about change. Yes, I do think that Asian men and Black females are rare today, but there was a time when many different races coupled together were rare to see. Some Asian men are afraid of change, not willing to change, or want to test the waters, but don’t have a clue of how to do it. As time goes on, change does happen. In today’s world people are looking more and more at the heart and not at the skin when it comes to finding love. I believe it’s just a matter of time before Asian men and Black women will not be such a rare occurance.
-Jin, 38
I have to admit that I’m a young, goodlooking Asian guy and not ready to settle down, so I date. I date all races of women and one day if I happen to fall in love with a black women then it is what it is.
-Ricky, 21
When I was a young man, I was reprimand for falling in love with a Chinese girl. My mother was outraged. Rather than lose face with my family, I broke it off and later married a Japanese girl of my parent’s choosing. Tradition was number one in my family back then. That was then and this is now. I have a grand-son that I I didn’t see until he was two-years old, because I was outraged at the fact that my son married a black woman. One day a delivery person came to my house and placed a large box on my floor. I noticed the box moved a little and the top was not sealed. When I opened the top a little boy stood up and said “Gran pop.” I love my grand-son, and my daughter-in-law. As they say, love has no boundries.
-K., 67
I have always dated Caucasian women. I have never had the opportunity to date a Black woman.
-Larry, 32
Ok, I’m a gay Asian man, so I don’t date women at all, but I do have Black women friends who always say that Asian men are so shy and they are scared to step to a Black female. Now on the other hand my straight Asian men friends say they think that most Black women are very aggressive. Well I tell the gals that if they see an Asian Poppy who won’t make the first move then they need to start stepping to them. And for the AP’s, I say, Are you afraid of a strong woman? You need to show her that you can thrown it down just like a brother or a white boy. And that’s my truth! Heeey!
-Chino, 31
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I am a straight Asian guy, let me give you some insight into why you don’t see Asian men dating out that much.
I know Asian women who love to be “libera”, “open minded”, and “color blind”, but there are no such thing, because they discriminates against their own and other minorities.
I don’t believe in “love is colorblind”. I don’t have strick parents, I just don’t like mainstream American culture that pressured minorities to date out inorder to be accepted, while white people can be racist and selective if they want to.
Asian men should date black women because they feel they are left out of American love market, and vice versa. Asian men and black women are a KKK white supremacist dream, because it affirms their racial superiority. Since these two group are undesirable in mainstream American eyes, they somehow should get together or go extinct. Frankly, I don’t give a s*** about Americna culture. I rather live in my own small community than be a dog in another.
Call me small minded, but that is what Malcolm X advocated, and if black people listened they would be better off than they are now. Look at how many black males are in jail and when they do get successful they married white women and go broke spending it all in the white community. What does that leave black women?
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@ Asa, Good comments and there are those who do care about bw. The site blogger tries her best to place bw in a negative light.
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Someone might have mentioned it but I will reinterate asian men have a stereotype of being too dominate not emotional and that’s a turnoff to some women even asian women are offended by that. I was in a relationship with a filipino man who I had a child with who I ended the relationship with because I realize I would not be happy with him I was told by asian women all married to white men that they don’t like the dominance of asian men they wanted to be treated as equals, my sons father insisted on me giving him my entire paycheck and he would give me what he thought I needed out of it! He also said he liked “extremely submissive” women. My case might be isolated from others but he fit into the stereotypes people have of asian males.
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@ Asa. I agree with this point. I, too, don’t like American mainstream culture, and I’m well over being a 5th generation American. Out of its boredom, this mainstream culture continually works at pitching/walling people to/from each other, respectively, as if we don’t have the inherent ability to choose on our own. Why should bw and am get together under the guise of being low on the totem pole romantically? It’s absurd. Also, I am not colored blind, what for? We can become attracted to a person ‘regardless’ of their skin color. Yet, falling in love with someone of another race makes the skin color factor, inclusive.
In addition to the above, why not…..
-Look at the number of black men ‘not’ in jail.
-Look at the number of black men ‘not’ married to white women.
Have you conducted a study on this? If wo, just don’t focus on athletes…let’s look at politicians and the like, shall we!
Also, what do you deem as successful? Financially, only? Being successful financialy is not the ‘only’ type of success or wealth a person can have to share with others. That criteria is definitely small-minded!
Malcolm X started out with a focus for change for aa’s, then after going to Mecca, his view changed and became more broaden. I would just like to know, how you could form your mouth to mention Malcolm X, by throwing the woes of some peoples mishaps, up in a peoples face which you know nothing about? American mainstream culture media has done a number on you, as well, in your small community! Do you know about the ’struggle’ or what it is to stand for what’s right, outside of your four walls? I don’t think so! Because you choose to remain isolated and choose to stay in your small community and have a small-mind, being a just as much a product of the American mainstream culture, as planned for you, too. If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. There’s no gray areas.
By the way, I’m quite sure there are some ’secretive’ dogs in your community, too! woof, woof, grrrrrr! LOL!
@ deeann. I agree with you about this site blogger. I have submitted thought provoking information that was not posted and was in line with the topic!
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@Asa, cont. What does that leave black women? It depends on whose eyes you’re looking at the situation through!
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So I hope that this post. I am a AA woman who has always liked Asian men and until recently I just thought that it was something I would have to keep to myself. I have dated men from all over the world except for Asia. I feel this is partly due to my own bias and fear of rejection.
Recently I have met a much younger man, he is Filipino. I have two issues, one he is 16 years younger than me and two I don’t know what he really wants. I finally told him today how old I was and he was shocked. But cool. I am thinking of just forming a friendship with him. He is an IT guy and I am a Artist. He is only here in AZ for a few months so maybe I will take him to some shows. Oh side note: Check out “Carolina Chocolate Drops” they will blow your mind. Peace.
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I get one your issues with this young man is age difference.
Let me say this, my first marriage wasn’t interracial, but she was 48 and I was 30. That was 2 generations difference. her born 1933 and me 1951.
She was beautiful and still is and I curse the day we split.
We had that incredible connection. Laughed, worked and loved passionately. Today whenever we talk I am transported if by magic to how I felt then 28 years ago. IF YOU HAVE A CONNECTION like this, where you finish each other’s sentences, cant keep from touching…are inexorably drawn, go for it.
I would recommend you do a course such as Landmark Forum and get a good sense of possibilities and great tools for communication and dealing with upsets. They will be issues in all communications and with age difference it cuts through the illusions an machinations that separates who we are as Human beings engaged in living.
I envy you being so close to this . Get over the age thing. Get in touch with and don’t deny your gut level feelings. Appreciate this moment in your life.
I am a Lucy Lu fan and can’t see any problem with any race, just individuals at times.
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I’m an a girl of Caribbean descent. I suddenly developed a huge crush on this Korean guy my senior year in high school and since then have been very attracted to Asian guys. BW/AM couples are a rarity, but I have seen a few in person. People say Asian males aren’t into black women, but in my experience that’s totally not true. I was “talking” to a Filipino guy for a couple of weeks, but had to let him go because he was more into me than I was him. I’ve been hit on my Korean dudes, Vietnamese dudes, Chinese dudes, Hapa dudes and a few East Indian ones. Black girls, if you are into Asian guys, don’t let the “statistics” or the nay-sayers discourage you. Experience things for yourself. Other people’s experiences (or non-experiences) with the AM/BW pairing will not necessarily be your own!!
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I am a 15 year old african american girl and i live in southern cali. i have been attracted to asian(mostly filipino) boys since third grade. Some of them seemed to have liked me back, and others didnt really notice me. my friends are very supportive of my preferences, but my father is not. i just wish that people could set aside stereotypes and differences and just go with their heart. i’ve been wanting to approach a filipino, but i dont know how. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@ kiki. Not to discount your feelings. Not to make this seem like a lecture to you. But, your father has more experience when it comes to life, people, and its consequences from making a single decision, than you or your friends do, at this time. You’re under his care and he wants the best for you, whether you agree with him or not. He’s more aware of the mind-set and problems with in the cultural differences, as well as, the aftermath effects of an emotional and physical relationship that you have not encountered at this time. So, why not take a moment to sit down, again with your father. Open your mind, listen quietly, and ask him to explain to you the reason for his view points. Also, ask him to give you some examples of experiences. Whether his or someone elses. It’s not to say that you’ll experience the same; it’s to help you to have better judgement when a situation is going in an unfavorable direction. You won’t be lost at what to do. Also, parents are aware that they can’t keep their children from all of life’s experiences, yet they will do everything in their power to prepare them to make sound decisions.
Regarding, just go with your heart. A person is never led by their heart alone. The mind is always an active participant in giving directions. People just ignore what they don’t want to see or accept. Besides that, it’s foolish and dangerous (even more so for a female) to ignore any sound reasoning. Especially, your own, once you know how valuable you are as a young woman and human being. Why not major on that aspect first, then, get a minor when it comes to dating.
I hope this is helpful to you.
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to my black sisters and brothers i can say that we have beautiful black women in our culture but the only probelm we have somtimes is lack of commuation when i approach a black woman by speaking or simply just saying hi some have thrown their noses up at me but the main probelm that most of my black sisters have is a nasty mouth and that goes for some of the brothers as well.but the reason for a black man to find that certin black woman its always expitations between us or in other cases we the men are accussed of the crimes that the last man commited and that bothers a lot of brothers.the sisters should keep the d word out of their mouths and the brothers should keep the b word out of their mouths.you would think that would solve part of the probelm wrong again from now until the end of time for some silly reason we keep looking down on each other especially the black stars in acting and music really avoid the black community now with a black president hates comes from everywhere.anyway this is america and what type of men that sister wants in her life and the woman that brother wants in his life just be happy because color has nothing to do with it this is 2010 not 1910 goodbye readers
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I have to say that I always had a thing for Asian guys,but due to their cultural preference for lighter skinned females, nothing ever materialized in terms of dating and or relationship. In the Asian culture as far as I see it,worship of lighter skinned people are prominent.
However I still like my Jet Li, Kim Dong Wang,Jimmy Lin and the lot!
To each his own!
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If you’re worried about what your “people” will say, you are a coward and we don’t want you. Don’t date outside your race. Enjoy cowardice and don’t experience life as it should be, but rather as it is. However, if you wish to contribute to the future of the American Race, then to hell with the other cowards and join us multiracials in the conquering of the future! We are taking over one day at a time, whether you like it or not. Eventually your fearful past will expire, never to be missed.
-Triracial parent of quadracial beauties
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I am Asian-American and my wife is African-American. It has not been easy just loving each other in the face of so many others, which i think is sad. Thankfully, we now love in a multicultural neighborhood, full of white, black, hispanic, eastern Asian, southern Asian, and Middle-Eastern. My children’s “cliques” look like something out of a commercial. Every color, with no prejudice. It is amazing, considering that I was born here, but got picked on my entire life by whites, for the simple fact of “not being white”. I agree.
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I recently saw the movie Ninja Assassin with Korean pop star Rain…who by the way is extremely attractive. I was elated to see the leading female role (and potential interest) was played by a woman of African descent.
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@mohangany.I happened to enjoy that movie as well. However, the male Asian lead, Rain , was a very attractive Korean man and Naomi Harris, a very good looking BF was the lead. However, the same bias and mistake that was made in Romeo Must Die, with Jet-Li and Aaliyah, was once again duplicated. I felt that there should have been some sort of physical contact , sex scene, that should have occurred in this movie. I’m not saying that it would have made the movie go over better at the box office, however it would have brought to light, the issue of AM/BW attraction. In RMD, it was rumored that a kissing scene was filmed but not used due to disapproving BMs on the set. So the kissing scene at the end didn’t fly and we (the audience) was left with just a hug. As for Ninja assassin, Clearly there was sexual tension and attraction was evident here, but once again they fell flat.I was disappointed that no real affection was displayed. it’s quite obvious Hollywood, nor society is ready to embrace the pairing of AM/BF. it’s a sad.
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Hey I would just like to point out 1 thing on this topic. Black men don’t go for black women because we have boundries and self respect not being racist or anything but they go for white women because their easier to get and are more avalible then black women are thats why black men go for white women. To be honest i’m sick of black men because most the ones ive dated have been cheaters and I’m generalizing but thats just me…
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Well I don’t care what no one says I love Asian guys I think there sweet kind and loving and if people want to stare and say bad things well they can kiss ma black a** lol there not hurting me ther hurting themselfs any way am 17 and hoping oneday to go to japan and marry a hot Japanese guy domo arigato gozimasu
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@BBINKALI (March 11 2010),
Stop going around asking men what they think about Black women. You just make yourself and your group look sooooo desperate and unwanted. Now you are going around “begging” men of other races to take a look. Pathetic.
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@BBINKALI Just because you think black women are not as feminine doesn’t make it a bad thing.
Just as long as your attracted to them or think they’re sexy,beautiful,smart,loyal,honest,and respectful there shouldn’t be a problem right?
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Wow! I actually think this website is re-awsome. I feel that the matter of the fact is rather we like it, or not we are defined by race. Rather we define or not soicety has put it out there. Even though it’s there we can’t allow that to be. All we can do is what is right, and follow are hearts. If that may be being in love with in asian,white, and or black men/women so be it. Who’s the judge God as long as he apporves thats all what matter’s.
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its simple
asian men are shy,black women are too strong and proud.
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well i have seen all the comment posted here and i agree with a few of them.i am a black girl well mixe hispanic/african. and i am crazy with asian guys and asian dramas and movies and their are a few korean actors who are so freaking hot. take kim nam gill he played in queen seon deok and now his newest drama bad guy.their are allot of atractive asian man out there that are so hot that you can,t stop looking ad them ho an other quetion why is it that some of the most hotest korean man allways look like a girl i whas watching a few dramas and lol this guys look so like an asian girl that i think the co star that play with them should feel a little bit intimidaded.it to bad that people would think an asian guy and i black woman can be together i think they would look good together. if i can find an korean man i won,t let him leave ever.
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I’ve been with my girlfriend for quite some time now and it’s going great so far. I am Chinese and she’s a mixture of Black/Mexican/Irish/Cherokee. When we go places, people always stare at us and it used to bother me so much in the beginning. After a while, I begin to accept the fact that, we’re just different and out of the norm I’d say since EVERYBODY in the area dates their own or what’s used to being seen: African-American men with European-White/Asian/Latin women; Caucasian men with European-White/Asian/Latin/African-American women; etc., but you wouldn’t really see an Asian man, especially myself, being a Chinese man with an African-American woman. She is mixed but clearly when viewed from near or far, you can tell we’re quite the different couple. Despite who thinks what or who says what, I’ve always been devoted to my baby and I’ve always been in this warmth I get whenever I’m around her. She’s a wonderful person, shy at times, kind, loving, sweet, bubbly and soo much of my other half I lack in too long. I love her…always have, always will. We plan on having kids one day, and furthermore to adopt a child or two. I will marry her one day, that’s if she doesn’t catch up to me first!
haha..I love it. Once I dated my baby..I’ve never looked back and that’s just how it’s going to be..together forever always.
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I’d do Bruce Lee
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@ Back-at-cha
You sound irritated by the issue of AM/BF relationships, why is this? You may not find black women attractive and that is absolutely fine, no one is saying you or other Asian men should go out with Black women and the reverse is true. I think the fact that you’ve decided to interpret this debate in this way points to some issue within yourself.
As does the fact that you felt the need to criticise bbincali (March 11 2010) for doing some research into what Asian men think about AM/BF relationships. Again, your issues led you to warp the focus of this research into what Asian men think of Black women :rolleyes:
Secondly, just because you have a certain opinion of black women doesn’t mean that all Asian men have the same one. Have you actually read some of the glowing compliments that Asian men have made about Black women on this page? And vice versa? Or of the people that are/have been in loving BF/AM relationships?
Far from this being a stupid subject not worth writing about, I see it as an interesting exploration into a social phenomenon. While it’s true that some Asian men don’t tend to find Black women attractive (with the reverse being true) or “feminine” as you put it, to say this completely answers the question of why BF/AM couples aren’t seen all that often if at all is extremely narrow-minded, lacking in depth and quite frankly, smacks of more than a touch of racism (And this is true of IndoPak boy’s views too).
And if the stereotype of “femininity” is the one I think you mean, then your views could be seen as being pretty sexist too.
I happen to be drawn to men of all ethnic groups and think that qualities such as kindness, open-mindedness, sincerity and warmth are far more important than skin colour, height, muscle mass, machismo, etc. It feels so much freer to be this way. I wish you luck…
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