Have you ever been discriminated against or ridiculed for being an interracial couple?
What was your reaction to your haters? Do you think people will ever get over the “Eeew!” looks they give interracial couples?
Well take our poll today at the right hand column and let us know how Americans are treating interracial couples in this century.
Tags: interracial dating sites, asian women dating, black dating site
Popularity: 98% [?]
Comment by Cloe27 on 7 April 2008:
Here’s my piece of the pie as far as this is concerned. Once (in my early years) I feel in love with a puerto rican young man. By most people’s standards our relationship wasn’t interracial at all considering that we are both non-whites. Anyways, he started as a friend and it blossomed into something very dear and beautiful. One day while we were out shopping, holding hands (the things that lovers do) we were about to pass the storefront of a very popular men’s store. Before I realized what I was doing I dropped his hand. It was a self-conscience thing, I would have never in a million year thought I was ashamed of us. The fact that we were a couple was no secret. However, as I was approaching a store full of black men, who no doubt would have flaunted their white women before me without a care, I acted out of…panic? I don’t know what came over me but in that moment I think I hurt my man more from that little act of betrayal than stepping out on him. I’m ashamed not only because he was the man I loved but more importantly because he was my friend.
In essence, to wrap up my venting, sometimes we are our own worst enemies when it comes to loving who we love. We let the opinions of strangers get in the way of beautiful, loving relationships.
Comment by Member on 7 April 2008:
I am a 30 yr old , fine white man, and i never had any ridicule problems being on dates with black women. I am confident and hold my head up high, and I really dont care if there is ridicule. I just ignore it. There has been ridicule when I was with white women too. So you cant say its just interracially. That is stupid.
Also one other thing I would like to share that may upset some black men is that,
Black men date white women for a status symbol or conquer effect. They think it will get them automatic respect in the heirarchy business world. And more yet as a trophy .On the other hand …White men purely date black women for attraction.
Comment by Member on 7 April 2008:
I am a 30 yr old , fine white man, and i never had any ridicule problems being on dates with black women. I am confident and hold my head up high, and I really dont care if there is ridicule. I just ignore it. There has been ridicule when I was with white women too. So you cant say its just interracially. That is stupid.
Also one other thing I would like to share that may upset some black men is that,
Black men date white women for a status symbol or conquer effect. They think it will get them automatic respect in the heirarchy business world. And more yet as a trophy .On the other hand …White men purely date black women for attraction.
Blacklimocar@yahoo.com comments?
Comment by girlsixdiva on 7 April 2008:
From my experience it’s usually black women who get picked on and harrassed the most for dating men of other races.
Comment by LGand2gh on 7 April 2008:
There are always going to be those who believe races should stay w/ their own.As well as those who believe blacks should go back to Africa.We did come here on holiday cruise,as a matter of fact our own people played a part in our COMING TO AMERICA.The Native people were here first.And if those who ridicule interracial relationships look up their family tree,I am sure somewhere there is a man or woman of color in their history.There is no longer a pure race.I myself have mixed blood lines.Ever since men and women have walked,boated,horsebacked,driven and flew across this planet there has been procreation and there has been and always will be mixed races.That is what God intended,for us to LOVE each other.For those who abhore interracial,I feel sorry for your closed mindedness.I fear those,cause no telling what else in regards to race they disapprove of deep w/in their cold hearts.Hows that?
Comment by Sxybrwnsuga on 7 April 2008:
I can honestly say I have never been ridiculed about dating interracially. If I was I was unaware of it.
Comment by neciereaves on 8 April 2008:
My high school sweetheart was a young Italian man from Brooklyn, NY. We were deeply in love. His parents loved me until they actually met me. It was two years into our relationship before I met his father. I always wondered why he never brought me to his house while his parents were home. His father was so angry that he basically disowned his son. Our relationship carried a heavy strain after that and about 6 months later, it was over. I just couldn’t deal with the fact that his parents disliked me over something that I had no control over.
My sweetheart and I were always getting dirty looks from the black men in our area. I never cared and neither did he. I could have dealt with dirty looks from strangers for a lifetime. His family’s disapproval was a completely different story in my book.
Comment by mossimo36 on 8 April 2008:
Personally, I don’t pay the haters any mind. A few people look, but have never had any direct comments. The funniest thing to me is the reactions of a few black men who think if they stare at my date enough somehow she will come to them.
Comment by Mrs white on 8 April 2008:
to tell you the truth I never dated outside my race and woulded mined to and if anyone didn.t like it tuff for them………..kat
Comment by erica34 on 8 April 2008:
I have dated 99% of the time outside of my race. My ex of 11 years, is Italian. Many people have ridiculed “us”, may it be from my race or his race. I have had questions like “what u doing with him? You don’t belong with him! Sometimes people look at us with scorn. In the past, if I am with “him” and we are having a conversation with someone that happened to be white, they tried to to talk only to “him” and ignore me. Black guys also, somehow get offended.
In my opinion, people should date whoever they feel like, we are all the same, skin color does not make us any different; we all hurt and bleed the same way. The looks, the comments, the whatever, does not bother me. I was not raised to be prejudice, so therefore I do not think prejudice. Life is too short, to each is own. Do what makes you happy. To hell with the rest.
Comment by cnoter on 9 April 2008:
Iv’e dealt with the glares,stares and comments.
Outright or under there breath.
Even to the point of getting physical in public.
If ya know what ya like/love ,stick with it.
Dont change up cuz its easy or popular.
Sometimes interracial love is like a game of rock ,paper and scissors.
Difficult at times ,but fun to WIN.LOL.
When it’s Good …it’s REAL Good.
So who gives a F#$k what anyone thinks….they aint sleepin in my bed.
If your ashamed of your mate…..Look in the mirror.. the shame is on YOU.
Maybe you should be alone.
GROW up ,STEP up.
I’ll shut up.
Comment by Salsera77 on 9 April 2008:
A few times I noticed people (I leave out the kind) staring straight at me like they wanted to say what the &@#*% are you doing with him. Mind you, this was while we had our arms around each other while waiting in a line or while he had his arms around me at an establishment. I just glanced away but didn’t move my head. No one dared to actually say anything.
Comment by kingforever on 10 April 2008:
I have not noticed any ewwww comments or looks since I started dating black men. Maybe because I am proud of who I am with. If they dont’ accept him then don’t accept me. My grown children are fine with it and they are the only ones that really matter. I find black men very attractive and repressed that feeling for years. I was married to an Italian who was very predudice along with his family. I can just imagine how they feel but that is no concern of theirs.
Comment by cocobeauty70 on 10 April 2008:
I think ridicule from others is the difficult part of interracial dating. When you are one on one at your house or his it’s all good. It’s when you go out in public that your love is put on trial. I don’t care what anyone thinks of my choice of mate the thing is both people in the relationship have to feel the same way.
I think that any relationship that doesn’t withstand “other people’s disapproval” isn’t worth dealing with. So everyone should examine their own heart and make their decisions based on that not on “acceptance” from other people.
Comment by lenee on 11 April 2008:
Where I live all I ever saw was interracial dating. I saw so much of it, it was as if I was invisible to black men here. It use to really hurt me, I felt the white men here wasn’t as open as thier white woman dating outside their race.
So I finally got the guts and started doing what I saw black men doing. My so call girlfriends was not supported of this choice. I’m a free thinker it was mix with other races of men or be lonely like a lot of my girlfriends.It was hard at first, I didn’t know whether I would be accepted or desired because I am a woman of color.
I met a very nice white guy we dated for 2 years then we later married and stayed that way for serval years.Sad to say we are nolonger together.. My sister in-laws and brothers and laws we got alone just fine. My ex-mother in-law still talk and go out to dinner every summer she come here.As for my ex-after he relized or should I say excepted the fact that him and I wouldn’t reunite he packed up in moved to Arizona. He stops by to say hi and remind me how he still loves me every summer.
when we would go out we did get stares from other white folks.
As long as I knew how he felt about me his woman I didn’t care what outside folks had to say or thoght about us.They didn’t know him or me. So I would say to the question: It really doesn’t matter what other think as long as you know the real deal between you and your man. Let the the truth be told what a boring world this would be without music, kids, and colors?
Comment by lilbitofcoco on 11 April 2008:
I recently was engaged to a biracial (african american and white) man whom everyone thought was hispanic. Our relationship was full of commentary. We met in NC and attempted to have a relationship there. After he nearly lost his job over our public displays of affection (kissing) and I got tired of hispanic men coming up to him speaking in Spanish and giving me sideways glances we decided to move to the NorthWest where people are more accepting. Out here, many of his associates (co-workers and some friends) didnt even know about me because they were open bigots. One night he actually fought in a bar over racial comments about african americans. Funny thing is they apologized to him “because they didnt know he was black”.. I wasnt there with him.
After a while I just stopped wanting to do things with him, because he got treated better when I wasnt there… He purchased my car without me, rented our apartment without me, and bought our house without me… The apartment complex actually refused to allow me to live there once they met me in person even though they had already rented the apartment to my fiance.
The one time the two of us went out to the club, as we walked down the street holding hands a black man walks by me and whispers under his breath.. “whats the matter sister? Had to get with the amigo??”
I dont know how much of it were signs of a doomed relationship, and how much of it was because we looked different. He was my first ‘interracial’ relationship (even though he did not consider it so) I am really afraid of going through the drama we went through again.
Comment by jazzloverOH on 11 April 2008:
The only negative reactions I have ever seen are from black men and I don’t care to speculate why. I sincerely believe white men are jealous of me, but the black men seem to have a very hard time with it.
Comment by lilo4love on 12 April 2008:
We once went to this restaurant for dinner and when my date went to the washroom this elderly waiter came by and gave me a really disapproving look.
It happens some people just feel that people should not date those from other races. We live in a global world. In time they will learn to be more accepting of diversity.
Comment by nesha86 on 12 April 2008:
It’s really sad to say, but people always stop and stare when I’m out with a man who is not black and those who are bold enough will make a rude comment about how I should be with someone who’s black. It’s funny how people don’t seem to have the same reaction when a black man steps out with a woman who’s not black.
Comment by Glock on 13 April 2008:
We always hear how whites are so “racist” in this country, so you would think that this forum would be FILLED with stories about how whites have treated interracial couple very horrible. Yet, I see just the opposite. Undoubtedly there have been incidents where whites have ridiculed black and white couples. However all my experiences with “the looks”, and negative comments have come from black men. I remember 2 times where I knew and worked with the black men, 1 who behind my back, spoke to the woman I was dating and basically screamed his venom to her when he saw her drive my car. The other, while in a room that happened to be occupied by several black men and my girlfriend said, ” Blacks should stay with their own…these black women keep chasing after these white boys”. The comment was directed to my girlfriend.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 13 April 2008:
Isn’t it funny how people never worry over the millions of people in the world who go to bed hungry every night and worry more about what color people skins are.
The only people I can think of that I hate right off the bat are bullies, child molesters and animal abusers.
The hatred is still out there…I was dished by a Latino [Peruvian] for dating blacks, just last month…life goes on…!
Southern smiles,
Sharon
Comment by Black Diamond on 14 April 2008:
I do notice that when black women date interracially,people take issue with it.However,nobody has a problem when a black man does it.Typical.People always say they are cool with interracial dating,but if a black woman is in the ir relationship,then they have a problem with it.Go figure.
Comment by www.afroromance.com on 18 April 2008:
Hm-m-m-m-m! I can understand what someone is saying when they state that they are treated differently especially when an interracial relationship is introduced to the public. It can be a hard experience at times but what one feels for his/her partner is more important. True…the physical appearence is real but as long as the “heart attraction” is real…one can go through much. From my home experience I have known stares, rejection by some family members but love prevailed in all situations. Personally, I have to act on what makes me real. If feeling for another race is strong…go for it. There will always be adverse reactions and statements made about most anything…especially when what you believe in is considered “out of the normal”!
I really appreciate all the comments that I’ve read on this subject because I makes me feel free to know that others are dealing with the same issue. I also say…be of good courage because love is all that matters. Negative reactions only indicate what was always hidden and I know some have experienced negations from loved ones or those who were considered to be so very close. But…the truth will hurt at times but it’s still truth.
Comment by photoguy on 23 April 2008:
I guess it’s something that has been ingrained into certain people for so long that sadly it will be with us for a very long time to come. As long as some people still have the belief that it is wrong to date outside their race then they will pass it on to their children and so on. I live in the hope that one day we will all be able to date who we want regardless of race, creed, colour, age etc and no one will batter an eyelid.
Sadly it is still something that raises its ugly head every so often in today’s society, I have dated outside my race for the past ten years and during that time I have experienced all manor of behaviour from people. Not really what I would call ridicule, more negative comment or reaction.
The thing that has surprised me however is the comments have come from all kinds of people from the two old Jamaican women at the bus stop who sucked their teeth at us and called me girlfriend ‘Bounty’ to the numerous black guys that have approached the woman I am with as if I was not there to ask what she was doing with a white man! I have also experienced reaction from young black women, white women have made comments to me about dating black women, but I guess the strongest reaction I have ever had was when I was sitting with my arm around my ex on the tube in London, a white guy got up to leave the carriage and as he’s passed us he shouted with anger ‘interracial bastards’ at us.
However none of this has ever bothered me because I was happy and proud to be with the person I was with at the time. When it all comes down to it the only person it was bothering was the one who was making the comment. If my being with someone of a different race bothers them so much then if anything I feel sorry for them for being so shallow and one-dimensional that other people’s choices and actions have such a negative effect on their own narrow-minded and limited lives.
Darren
Comment by mossimo36 on 24 April 2008:
Perhaps if we took our interracial dates to a country bar in some rural area white people’s reactions would be different.
Comment by Holdmyheart on 24 April 2008:
My experiences in dating out of race were all not pleasent. I dated a young lady in which her parents did not like the idea. They would always leave the room and turn up their noses when I would visit. After dating their daughter for a few years and showing them that I had nothing but their daughter’s best interest in mind, they finally accepted me.
Comment by Holdmyheart on 24 April 2008:
My experiences in dating out of race were all fantastic, with the exception of one.
I dated a young lady in which her parents did not like the idea. They would always leave the room and turn up their noses when I would visit. After dating their daughter for a few years and showing them that I had nothing but their daughter’s best interest in mind, they finally accepted me.
Comment by fkoi on 24 April 2008:
I have never for sure been ridiculed for dating interracially. I have heard comments which may have been directed toward us and probably were. I dated one woman who was sure that she was getting ugly looks from other Black women and probably was. One friend told me her family said, “Your dating a White man and he’s not even rich? What is wrong with you?”
Now my family has their eccentricities, but racism is gladly not one of them. I have no friends who are racist. I couldn’t. As for everybody else, there are more horses’ asses than there are horses.
Comment by blkbeauty31 on 26 April 2008:
My experience has been that interracial dating/marriage ridicule depends on where you are or live.
Comment by lioness on 28 April 2008:
As long as im happy i dont care what other people think.its the fear of the unknown and their small mindedness and ignorance coupled with racism, and thats thier problem not mine.everyone is entitled to thier own opinions and preferences. In my opinion those who descriminate interratial marriage are small minded and they need to get out more. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY. SLAVE TRADE IS OVER.
Comment by ethereal99 on 28 April 2008:
Yeah, we get stared at, commented at & discriminated against. And trust me, we give it right back. Now, can I enjoy these pancakes?
Comment by cocokisses on 29 April 2008:
Glock, why are your comments always against Blacks? You can’t even read the boards without doing this.
Please do us all a favor…DON’T DATE OUTSIDE YOUR RACE! YOUR PREJUDICE IS SHOWING!
Comment by ethereal99 on 30 April 2008:
If you get around enough, you’ll find there are whites who discriminate, blacks who discriminate, Asians, Hispanics, & on & on, a microcosm of the real world. Some people just blame a particular race due to their own limited experiences. I agree: “As long as I am happy, I don’t care what other people think”, well spoken & how true !!!!
Comment by jade74 on 30 April 2008:
Welcome back Cocokisses………
Comment by mossimo36 on 2 May 2008:
Bienvenidos Cocokisses and Jade!
Comment by Glock on 4 May 2008:
Cocokisses, maybe you should check yourself then! I have talked about incidents that I have personally experienced. Should I be quiet then because YOU don’t approve of my comments? Or is criticism only allowed if it’s about whites? Are you the PC police now Cocokisses?? Your comment is so typical of today, we want to talk about “racial issues” and discuss injustice and generally speak about race, but when it gets right down to it, people like YOU Cocokisses want to have carte blanche about where the discussion goes. In your world, no criticism of blacks is allowed at all!!
I will definately not date someone like YOU Cocokisses!! That is for sure! But you can do us all a favor and pull your head out of the sand, racism and negativity comes from all racial groups, not JUST whites!!
Comment by Glock on 4 May 2008:
In fact Cocokisses, after having read some of your posts from the past I found it quite amazing that you dated interracially. It sounded as though you hated white based on some of your comments.
Comment by Nandi on 8 May 2008:
I am with you Sharon, racism is condition that is not going to change and racism in itself have no resolve…But we as human beings and Americans have surpassed the darkest plight of it…..So why should anyone care that much if someone disapproves of who they are with for any reasons..Why give anyone that much power over you…and a total stranger? Please!!
Personally, I never noticed it to really have a comment on…Because even if it were to happen for me to take notice…I still wouldn’t care…..
It is kinda of pathetic, in the whole scheme of life to be obessed with who’s doing who…LOL
I say laugh at them!
Comment by Sharon on 10 May 2008:
Don’t accept hate…ignore it when possible.
Southern smiles, Sharon
Comment by SHAY1182 on 12 May 2008:
I have dated outside my race many of times and the dirty looks, whispers and sly comments doesn’t bother me at all. What surprises me the most is that all of it doesn’t come from the majority of black men that I come across, but the black females .
Comment by xeltron on 15 May 2008:
Honestly, who cares what others think? and Member, that generalization about ALL black men was ignorant and ridiculous!!!! ……..and probably a bit racist……..
Comment by xeltron on 15 May 2008:
To Glock, Bravo! Free Speech is allowed in MY country!
Comment by Debbie 56 on 17 May 2008:
Its actually where you are at the time, if you are in a large city shopping there does not seem to be the same looks-stares, as in a small village.
My recent experience was while at a hot dog stand in Germany, my then man was trying to order a hotdog and fries they just ignored him, because they had heard him speak to me in Englishand also being black. So they turned to me and spoke to me in German, I speak a little German but no where near as fluent as my then man, I ignored them and let him talk, and they where not impressed, and in fact did repeat everything he said like he was not speaking the language properly… had we not be starving… hungry we would have walked away… but just shows how ignorant some people are with people in small towns..
Comment by dale4you on 18 May 2008:
black woman are very caring and loving
Comment by frenchyboo on 19 May 2008:
very interesting…wish i can find a way to post soe of the clips of the movie i was in that cae out last february…called
interracial dating in america..it was an honor to part of this film..
you cn view some of y clups on youtube, under interracial dating in america..
check it out..but yeah, unfortunately i was so so ridiculed and talked to in such a disrespectful manner for dating outside my race since my teeens…
check it out let me know what you think about it..great topics there..totally amazing as to some peoples thoughts and reasons why we date outside our race..when there is but one answer,,, because that is what appeals to us, period….
Comment by frenchyboo on 19 May 2008:
very interesting…wish i can find a way to post some of the clips of the movie i was in that came out last february…called
interracial dating in america..it was an honor to part of this film..
you cn view some of y clups on youtube, under interracial dating in america..
check it out..but yeah, unfortunately i was so so ridiculed and talked to in such a disrespectful manner for dating outside my race since my teeens…
check it out let me know what you think about it..great topics there..totally amazing as to some peoples thoughts and reasons why we date outside our race..when there is but one answer,,, because that is what appeals to us, period….
Comment by sydnee on 25 May 2008:
I have ridiculed and like Glock, all of my negative experiences have come from black men.
As a black woman I am fed up with the lack of respect, and consideration, that I deserve from black men as it relates to my preference for a mate. For some reason black men feel that they have more than enough justification to be filled with rage when they find out that a black woman dates white men.
I am not into stereotyping, I have never been hostile or angry toward black men about their choice of a mate, and I just want the same respect. Yet somehow that seems to be too much to ask.
Every woman should feel she is worthy of having a good man. I believe that most men, black, white, or other want a good, strong woman who can add to their lives. As a woman, I believe that every woman should strive to be happy and independent. Then a good man will come into your life.
Everyone woman should be proud of who they are. I am a good black woman with a unique and beautiful strength. I have just as much to offer to any man regardless of color. Yet for the life of me, I don’t understand why black men are so hard on me for dating outside my race, as they so put it. What is my race? If I choose to be politically correct, you will find that I am of a multi mixed race with Black, Mexican, Native American and Irish. To society, I am black, and very proud of each and every nationality that runs through my veins.
I have to say that I find that real hypocrisy surfaces when black men on an interracial dating site continue to display hostility and anger toward me for listing my preference for dating as White/European.
I have dated both black men and white men. I never try to compare the two. White men are totally different than Black men, and Black men are totally different than White men. Because I choose to love the white man, does not mean that white are better than black man. NO, it just means that we all have choices and my choice is a white man.
Racism has got to go. People pull out your history books. Read how far back race mixing has gone on and you will find that there is no such thing as a pure race.
If you are black, brown, yellow, or white and have a problem with my dating preference. GET OVER IT because it is what it is, I date white and nothing you say will change that.
Comment by christyice on 2 June 2008:
Well I have no problem dating outside my race, however I have been redicule from alot of people that I know. Like for instance about two years ago I dated a mixed guy, he was mixed with white and hispanic. It was an attraction right away with him. I thought he was realy sexy and he felt the same way about me, up until we bagan going out in public alot is when things changed. We often ran into alot of my old classmates who apparently had crushes on me, but never revealed. They would say things to me like” What are you do with him, ya;ll can’t be serious, what you don’t like black men anymore, and even my own uncle told me that I was dating outside my race because I thought I was better than most people and I acted white myself. Well all the drama from all the negative opinions eventually caused us to break up. He began to feel very insecure and started to bother me also. So I eventually start dating my ex boyfriend from highschool, who is a black man and as usual he did not appreciate me, and I felt as if I let a good thing go for something that could not match up with my previous relationship. So my opinion now about redicule is that people are going to make comments about you regardless, that is just human nature. It can be out of jealousy, butterness, or whatever. If you allow their criticism to get in the way of your happiness: you only allowed them to win anyway. We as people are who we are with because that is the person that we have feeling for. Love is not a color, but rather an attraction. I have always been attracted to white and hispanic men, and probably be that way until I die, noone can change that, that is me, “so love who you want and be happy”, that is my quote! Happiness is what everyone wants, they just do not allow their heat to go after what they want, but instead use their brains!
Comment by an Irish Man's Lover on 3 June 2008:
I cannot tell you how many times in my young age I have been discriminated against for the color of mine, and my lover’s skin. He’s true Irish (last name starts with O, has blue/green eyes and red hair with freckles) and though his parents love me and my parents love him (my dad is remarried to a white woman so it’s nothing to him) we can even hold hands in public before people stop and stare. One black guy even asked my lover if I was just his friend and if I was single! How rude can people be?
I think what makes me so mad is because it is still a little uncommon to see a black woman with a white man. While it’s perfectly normal for a black guy to be with a white girl, people still gawk with crazy eyes when they see couples like me and my lover in the mall or something.
I was recently doing a self-project for interracial love and all I see are pictures of black men and white women. Anything related to my kind of interracial love is all PORN! I kid you not, or it will be the same 4 pictures on every search engine site. Is there ANYTHING out there that is beautiful and totally not derogatory??
Comment by aaronpresley on 5 June 2008:
I just don’t live my life for the approval of a bunch of rednecks.
Comment by Glock on 5 June 2008:
I would just like to say to Glock that i agree with both your comments and i feel that from my observation while i am in the street that your right about what you said, and i would also like to say that its wrong on both sides and if you really want to be with that sister and you love her just stand up for her and go on with your life unfortunatly we will always have people black and white who have no clue what it means to be alive and to be in love with a person and it matters not what color they are!, and to my sisters i have dated women of all cultures and when i see you with a white man i want so much to come over and give you a compliment on your stringht but just like with any other relationship it would be out of place to do so, but i am happy for you and i want you to know that all my sisters. i know who i am as a black man and i have not forgtten about my people or my culture its just so crazy to dismiss a person because they may be different than you are. just be happy if u can,i know that its hard but we must be who we are and maybe though our pioneering of this idea we can make it a none-issue one day, but if we do nothing and continue to allow others through ignorance or hatred dictate to us what we do and who we love then i guess we deserve it because we showed no character and no committment to what we believed in.Oh! and yes if my daughter brought home a white man he would be welcome in my home and in her life as long as he loved and respected her! Glock! i think you are real dude! and i like your honesty, and thats the kind of stringht we need and believe me if you keep putting it out there and challenge us to be real the real brothers will come around! peace!
Comment by Nandi on 6 June 2008:
aaronpresley…adding on to your comment..I refuse to live my life my anyones approval or disapproval other than my own…We give these people to much power…I say ignore them and perhaps they will go away of shut-up.
Comment by Nandi on 6 June 2008:
Glock & Glock…you guys have the same screen names…
But why does white Glock have to prove anything to “real brothers” or anyone else…
I would think a “real brother” would have already realized it is none of his business first and foremost…
Comment by Glock on 6 June 2008:
Didn’t realize I was trying to “prove” anything. I was relaying my personal life experiences in dating black women and the problems that I have encountered. And…what is a “real brother”?
Comment by Sydnee on 9 June 2008:
I don’t believe that Glock is trying to prove anything. I believe that he is just reminding everyone that racism is alive and people everyday have a racist comment to make toward someone.
In my own personal experiences, I have found that the greatest criticism of racism directed toward me, has come from black men themselves.
Black men feel that white man HAVE to respect black women, but black men don’t.
As long as we live and breathe, someone will have something to say about us. I was taught by my father that if I give power to people’s hateful words and racist remarks, that I give them the power to win.
When he taught me to take the power out of their racist, mean, ugly and hateful words, he taught me to live the life that best fit me and not the life that others see for me.
For the ignorant people that choose to direct racist remarks toward me or anyone else. I am convinced that they are making judgments based the color of our skin and not our character.
It is up to us to let them know that there is no power in their WORDS of ugliness.
Comment by maccabee on 11 June 2008:
It is completely ridiculous that there are actually sub humans out there that are trying to stamp out interracial dating assuming that it’s some kind of new problem that was unheard of till now. What they don’t realize is that an entire African country consists of 2 mixed races. It’s called Ethiopia. Can anyone name those 2 races?
Comment by dlangel80 on 16 June 2008:
I haven’t gotten a lot of stares or comments really. Either that or I don’t notice them. What I have issues with is when a man doesn’t want to be seen with me or to truly be in a relationship with me and I sense it has to do with race. It IS embarassing when someone doesn’t want to show any affection to you in public because they’re afraid of what people will think. If you chose to date IR, do it because you are going to love who you’re going to love, regardless of what people say or do.
The one thing I had trouble with recently is a black woman that I work with said that when she sees a white woman with a black man, she feels physically sick and angry. It bothered me because I respected her before she said that- and it also bothered me because it’s like acting as if an entire population of men are owned by you. Even though white men date other races, it’s not my right to be pissed that (insert race here) is stealing our men. The only time another person is “stealing” your man is when you’re married to or dating that person, the lady/man knows it, and then tries to pursue your significant other anyways. I do not do that. Single men only.
I wish people respected each other more.
Comment by WHITEneedingBLACK on 22 June 2008:
I live in a small town, that in its self should tell you how mixed dating is seen. But, even after the rude looks and pointing the relationship is still rocky because of the black men in this area seems to think of themself as a “gods gift” kind of thing. I have dated 8 blackmen and they all have this attitude. You not only are socially unacceptable but,you look STUPID for putting up with it all. I feel as if I have lived through a nitemare with a moral to it.
Comment by carribean delight on 25 June 2008:
I come from a small carribean island, both my parents are mixed, me and my siblings came out all different colors, we grew up feeling very secure and very proud to be mixed, but coming to the USA
we had to say we were black, i dont get it, its as if you had to choose sides, or you would not be accepted. I have 2 sons their father is hispanic,
I look more indian than black, my children, one is dark as i am the other very light like his father, tell me should my children also go around telling people they are only black or mixed to accomodate whom?
Comment by tallncurve on 15 July 2008:
my worse experience with racism was:
When i was with this black guy we wanted to move together, so i found an apartment and singed the contract.
Later, my landlord, asked me to come to her office and told me, that i would have never gotten the apartment if she had known, that my boyfriend was black.
I was so shocked, i couldn’t even replay to that and i did not tell him.
I was ashamed of my people. I’m from Germany and he is American.
Well we stayed three years in that apartment and in the end that old lady was sad we moved out.
So maybe we have changed her mined a little bit, but maybe that is a very naive way of seeing things.
Comment by animuluv on 21 August 2008:
there are gonna be some closed minded ppl no matter where you go in life.as for me i always stick up for and fully support the relationship im in.a beautiful witty black woman is a beautiful luvely person to see and talk to in our cruel world of today.if you are happy with whom you are with,then dont worry what the nay sayers are thinking.if two ppl are truely happy with each other n themselves,then THEY are doin something right.
Comment by 71James on 30 August 2008:
Living in the south you definately get attention. I have never had anyone say anything directly to me. It’s usually the hatefull stares and whispered comments from the whites. Laughter and stares from the black ladies as they whisper to each other. I’ve never noticed anything negative from black men. Which is why I was surprised to see so many of you have. In fact my male friends that are black always seem to act like I’ve just joined some kind of club when they find out I date black women. Even had one friend introduce me to his sister.
Either way doesn’t really bother me. If I see someone staring I usually just grab my lady and give her a kiss. They want to stare might as well give them something to stare at.
Comment by 17Tigers on 3 September 2008:
Well my woman lives in the south too and I am currently in the west… Last time I was down there I was the one who got stares by my own race… Doesn’t really matter unless a hostile stimuli moves into my personal space. Nowadays we are protected by civil rights laws and hate speech laws so if people make racist comments get their plate numbers or take their picture with your cell phone and turn them in or file a civil suit.
It is much better to take their money than bother with a physical confrontation…
Comment by Zachary18 on 5 October 2008:
I do it because Black women are all, and i mean all, that i’m attracted to. But another reason would be..
I Love Pissing People Off…And fulfilling my dreams in the process.
Comment by sobers200 on 22 October 2008:
I don’t like to see a black woman with a white man. In fact I hate it, with every fibre of my being, and if that gets me banned so be it, but I’m just speaking from the heart. Back in my younger days I would wait for them outside a club, me and my boys and we would humilate him by getting him to tie my shoes, or take all his money, just to totally DE-MAN him. I don’t do it now, but the feeling still remains the same.
Comment by sobers200 on 22 October 2008:
By the way I’m a black guy from the UK
Comment by Rae56 on 22 October 2008:
sobers200, IMHO, you did more to “DE-MAN” yourself by allowing yourself to be reduced to bigotted and hate-filled standards. The test of a true man is one who can maintain ‘HIS’ dignity in the face of adversity…
My experience has been more looks of surprise, when out in public with my Caucasian partner. The most unpleasant experience I’ve had was from a man that I was dating. It became obvious that he was uncomfortable having me meet his family and friends, and that, of course, is a deal breaker.
Once when leaving a restaurant, he did what Cloe described in her post, and put distance between us when getting ready to pass a group of Caucasians. From that day on, one of the first questions I ask is, “how do your family about interracial relationships?” While many say, “I don’t care,” you have to be honest with yourself. In most cases, negativity from family can break a relationship, especially if you’re very close with your family. I’m very fortunate to be part of a family that is very diverse in its relationships, but everyone is not that lucky.
Comment by morninflower on 22 October 2008:
Sure sobers! … sure.. We believe you and are all scared. First of all, your credibility is cheapened by your hiding behind a fake profile.. without a picture. I have a feeling that once you read this you will get some wierd looking fake picture and put it there. You want attention so I am giving it to you = you are a disgraceful, disgusting animal that should have everything bad in the world happen to? YOU ARE A MUGGER?! A CHEAP ASS-MUGGER! LOL! You steal shoes and shoe strings! hilarious! - we are all scared Sobers.. real scared! now scurry on little boy.. no one is turning up the coals in hell with you up in here.
Comment by worthurwhile on 23 October 2008:
Oh sobers200! You are such a disgrace to the black race and humanity in general! Your statements are ignorant, and are not welcome here - Slither back under the rock you came from.
Comment by sobers200 on 23 October 2008:
Rae56
Here’s the thing, I don’t believe black women are attracted to white men, I’m talking GUT LEVEL attraction here. I think it’s done because the sister has reached a point in her life where she finds it hard to find a black match who is at same level in terms of income and status or two she has made poor choices or been treated wrongly by brothers and decides to give white boy’s a shot.
What annoys me even more is that white men always seem to get the best ones, the finest sisters F**K THAT !!! AAAAAARRRGH !!! Where as a brother with a white women is usually some Rosie O Donnell skanky ass looking woman.
Comment by buffet of goodness on 3 November 2008:
Yeah I agree with you wwhile. sobers200 should figure out why he cares so much. First of all, did you really do the things you’re saying? If you did, would anyone even care? Or is it a poor attempt to impress us all? I cannot comprehend caring enough about someone’s personal decision to devote my time and effort to acting out on it. Who someone decides to date couldn’t affect my life any less! It shows a lack of intelligence and maturity if you ask me.
In conclusion, so many people need to ask themselves why they do care SO much. As open a person as I am, I REFUSE to believe that there is valid reason for it! Matter of fact, to prove my point…sobers, what’s your reason for caring so much? Is success still eluding you?
Comment by Artbunker on 25 November 2008:
Funniest thing ever happened to me was when I was paying a debt back to a friend for a bet with a football I lost. basically I was trying to win a bottle of Grey goose and she a nice dinner. My team lost off some garbage play lolollo.
Anyway she was a very attractive WW. I wasnt really into her. I was more into her friend at the time but a bet was a bet and I wasnt gonna go back on my word.
Well we met at this resturant and let me tell you I got looks and stares form this group of old black ladies to this guy with his wife .
It was like man were no intimate, were not holding hands or even close to each other WTF ?.
It seemed like the only person in the whole resturant who knew or didnt assum we were together, was our waitress. And she was hitting on me
It was an interesting even for the simple fact that I went on this “date” with someone showing no signs of really being with this person adn the whole resturante almost flipped.
What I would say fomr that experience is that I was just laughing the whole time at folks limited perception of life and how a simple thing like color can really throw folks off. I had a blast that night, I wa more trying not to laugh than even worry about the folks looking at me and my friend I lost the bet to
Comment by strawberry00 on 5 December 2008:
The only people who have had something to say would be my family. I don’t think I have ever noticed anyone in public say anything or look funny towards us. I usually focus all my attention on my fiance. But my family doesn’t like him one bit, and it’s hard on our relationship because of it. They say that they do not want us to have children because it’s not good for children to be mixed. Which I think mixed children are beautiful. I don’t care what they think about his color. He has been a better man than any white man has treated me. He is my best friend, and soul mate. He has never done me wrong like my previous boyfriends. BTW… he is black, and I am white. I still am head over heels for him after 4years! =]
Comment by Superlite27 on 6 December 2008:
It’s the strangest thing. I was walking out of a club with my girlfriend while I was in England once, and this black guy walks up to me with a bunch of friends and wants me to tie his shoes. I guess he thought he was humiliating me, but all it did was show me was an ignorant fool he was. After I tied his size 8 knock-off Sketchers, (I knotted those ugly pink shoes as tight as I could) my girlfriend and I went back to the hotel and made sweet love all night long. I always wondered why, if the guy really wanted to humiliate me, he didn’t steal my girlfriend? I guess it was probably because HE was the one who really wasn’t a man.
(You see, REAL MEN are the ones who are able to let things just slide off them. It’s the children who let themselves be affected by things that happen. Proof? Take a look at the relationship between real adults and real children. Why are adults so calm and unflappable and children often cry and get upset? It’s because adults CHOOSE not to let things upset them, and children CAN’T HELP but let their emotions take over. DO YOU THINK THIS CHANGES AS YOU GET OLDER? NO! It’s still the emotional children who let things bother them.)
Hence, tying shoes didn’t bother me as much as my girlfriend bothered Sober.
Comment by homesteader on 28 December 2008:
We have found that some are indifferent to our way of life , alas others who in the begining had bad things to say . They have changed as they see we do not care what they think , we made our lives as one , Most however take the time to get involved in conversation with us in the many market places where they see us together . We are a man and a woman in Love and that will never change because of others opinions . Love Les
Comment by starthai on 28 December 2008:
Umm ok! Superlite, you actually tied that fools shoes!?!?! Letting things roll off of you and being forced to tie a someones shoes (especially if they’re not handicap) in 2008 at that are two different things. You better keep that overly humble sista you got, because that would have been a deal breaker for me. That shows no signs of a man that can protect his woman. You don’t have to necessarily get into a brawl there are other “assertive” creative ways to handle ignorant people without entertaining their BS. Seriously!
Comment by Glock on 28 December 2008:
I’m with Starthai on this one. Why didn’t you so “No”?, then walk off?
Comment by dolly48 on 29 December 2008:
i have dated a white man before. Believe me, I WISH some fool had said something to either of us……..
fo real!
Comment by Superlite27 on 31 December 2008:
No, starthai, the coincidence of meeting Sobers200, in Britain, at the same club, AND being the guy he made tie his shoes, is a little too far-fetched to be true. Stranger things have happened, I’m sure, but this would be too much of a stretch. I was just responding to Sobers’ post from Oct 22nd and tried to satiricly point out the obvious childlike emotional maturity of those who ridicule. To summarize: Those who react with hatred are too emotionally stunted to do anything other than “react”, while most interracial couples who have dealt with ridicule are obviously mature enough to choose their response. Therefore….Those who “react” are far more affected than those who are reacted to.
To think I would actually submit to anything that would make me a “victim” is a false belief. Without going into lengthy detail or boasting, (I hate braggarts and am very self-conscious about being seen as one) let’s just say I’m the last person in the world anyone would try and “make” do anything. If someone REALLY tried to make me tie his shoes, I’d probably do exactly as Glock said. (Although, I’m not really a Glock fan. I’m kind of a 1911 type of guy.)
Comment by Glock on 31 December 2008:
1911’s are good for shooting for sure, I’ve just seen many people have malfunctions with 1911’s during competitions. For simplicity and reliability, Glocks are very hard to beat although the Smith & Wesson M&P are closing in.
Comment by starthai on 31 December 2008:
Glock, what about the Baretta? That’s probably a girl gun.
Comment by Glock on 31 December 2008:
Beretta’s are good guns (why are we talking about guns on this post??!!). However it depends on what you are looking for in a gun. If you’re looking for a gun to use for self defense, in my opinion, Glocks are very difficult to beat because of their reliability. It’s made for combat so it has looser tolerances and won’t be as accurate as some other guns that have tight tolerances (say, for bulleye shooting) but on the same note, that means that dirt and grime will not cause them to malfunction as often, something you definately don’t want to happen in a deadly force encounter.
The type of shooting I do (IDPA) is based on combat senarios where you do tactical reloads moving and shooting ect. Speed and accuracy are the name of the game. I’ve seen many makes of guns out there and very rarely do I ever see a Glock malfunction
Comment by starthai on 31 December 2008:
“why are we talking about guns on this post??!!”
Dunno, but I’m sure the comments will be back to topic. Thanks for the response though.
Happy New years everyone!
Comment by Glock on 1 January 2009:
I was just kidding!
Comment by meluran on 18 January 2009:
“Black men date white women for a status symbol or conquer effect. They think it will get them automatic respect in the heirarchy business world. And more yet as a trophy .On the other hand …White men purely date black women for attraction.”
That maybe true but not for all.
I’m African and living in Abidjan, Ivory Coast West Africa( we speak french here ).I have seen that when i was younger because white people show that they’re the best the most intelligent and rich and give envy to African to be like them.NO WHITE MAN WOULD SAY they’re some poor people to their country.I had the same feeling until I reach europe ( Norway , Germany and Denmark ) I love White women because I’m really attracted to them and because of my very open mind in love , its not easy with many African ladies.I dated German girl for years and it was great.You will notice in my profile , i dont care if she is rich poor or whatever.I can help in the name of love.Of course when you get married with a white woman, you seem to have some kind of “respect” sometime but don’t get fool its maybe hate.On the other hand in Africa your white wife will easily get job as Some Big companies managers are white and will help her but that can also be the opposite.
Many White will always see the interracial marriage as a kind of “evolution for the black partner”
I think this time is getting over.If ther’s any “evolution” or “trophy” that would be if one the partner Black Or White is Famous.
Comment by ay75849002 on 21 January 2009:
So I am currently dating a black man, and I am white. Living in the south makes it that much harder. I get called horrible things like n***** lover, and things like that. At first it made me feel so uncomfortable, and made me feel bad for my boyfriend, because I didn’t want people referring to him in such a derogatory way. We still get stares in our small southern town, but after a while I realized how great of a guy he is and color doesn’t matter, we have great chemistry and we love eachother and that is all that matters. It was also difficult with family. His family absolutely adores me, however my family liked him when we were friends, but now that we are dating they don’t like it at all. It sucks but I can’t help who I love.
Comment by 00don on 21 January 2009:
Here’s a different angle on all of this:
As a single guy living in Arizona, I see all types of different interracial couples. One could think they are looking at two people of Latin decent when one could actually be Native American or mixed. Nowadays, you just never know.
Back to the topic, the staring works in reverse as a Black guy sometimes. Usually, I’m the guy that will say, “Hi” to anyone friendly enough to make eye contact and that happens to be in my vicinity. The other day while riding the public transit system, I saw a young interracial couple. They made sure not to look in my direction as I walked past. I thought it was a bit strange, so after taking my seat, I checked my reflection in the window to make sure that I wasn’t mean muggin’.
A few stops later, another interracial couple boarded with their two children. The father was carrying the little one in his arms. The other child, a really friendly little girl, toddled over and touched the shoe of the young lady of the first interracial couple as if in greeting. Her mother grabbed her, smiled at the young lady and sat down next to me (the only seats left). I tried to catch their eye to say, “Good afternoon,” but the eye contact never came.
My question is: what am I supposed to do or say? I’m not the mad dude. I’m happy that you both found the one you want to be with. Forums are easy, but how do we clear the air in public? It would be ridiculous for me to just be like, “Congratulations.” I wouldn’t do that to any other couple. Sometimes I think to myself, “Dude’s got great taste in women.” Saying that wouldn’t be appropriate either. Would it be better for me to keep my mouth closed, keep my eyes straight ahead and just be happy for you (yes, both of you) in silence? The problem with that is the interracial couple perceiving my silence and evasive eye maneuvers as the ignore tactic.
Unless they verbalize it, how do we know what other people are thinking, anyway?
(Bump it. Next time, I’m saying, “Hi” whether you look or not.)
Comment by homesteader on 22 January 2009:
Just say ” Good Morning , Good Day , How are you or Good evening ” all depends on time of day , We will respond . As we are just people also .
Comment by NOPLAYER on 22 January 2009:
00don
I know what you mean, sometimes I wonder do they as a couple have a particular reason for avoiding eye contact? I try to leave room for the assumption that maybe they’ve grown tired of the mean looks and as a way to avoid trouble they just avoid looking at people.
I understand that some people have sensitivities towards interracial dating but I don’t think an interracial couple should have to walk with their heads down because some people don’t agree with crossing the color line.
I think an easy way to be able to speak, even if they avoid eye contact while walking in your direction is to speak to the man first, if he responds then speak to the lady, something like, “hey what’s up bruh, ma’am, how you doing, and leave it at that.
It breaks the ice and it shows that you’re not coming with drama.
” It’s my opinion ” that sisters more so than brothers bring the most drama over interracial dating when out in public. I think most blk guys really don’t care, not to the point of clowning in public but I’ve seen more than a few sisters show their behinds in public.
I was in Memphis a year ago and I took a friend of my cousin out to a movie and dinner because she ahd just relocated to Memphis from Dallas.
While walking from the parking lot to the theater we passed these three sisters and one replied, ” I see he got him a snow bunny to ” ! We both laughed because my date was not a white woman she was Native American / Dominican.
I can understand the reservation interracial couple have when out in public because some people can really get nasty!
Comment by Glock on 22 January 2009:
00don, there really is nothing that you are required to do. Often times people don’t make eye contact in public situations because they don’t know the people. It’s easier to just go about ones own business rather than “spark” a conversation with someone. Maybe it wasn’t just you that they avoided eye contact with but it was everyone. You perhaps only noticed them not looking at you (I’m speculating obviously because I wasn’t there). I just know from my own experience that I am generally the one who doesn’t make eye contact with anyone in public, basically because I don’t need to. The person I’m with would be the one saying “do you see that couple looking at us over there?” And I’ll reply “No”, because I don’t care. Sometimes people worry way to much about this “looking at”, or “staring” at them. I personally could care less.
Comment by sharkie on 2 February 2009:
Good day all, I have been dating a very nice, well educated black woman for 6 months now. She is a great girl, very loving and very much someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I introduced her to my sister, who pulled me over to the side and said she has many black and gay friends, but told me that am not welcomed around her children and I am not to come around when she is with her husband.
I tried to introduce her to my mom, who just said I have some nerve to date outside my race and she will never accept her and will never want me to come around when I am with her.
We want to have kids, and now I just dont know how to feel as my family has abandoned me, now please dont get me wrong, I love this girl, and she comes first no matter what but to be honest I was just floored.
I guess I am sad, because how is my girlfriend to feel knowing my family is not wanting her around.
Peace.
Comment by MTV True Life on 13 February 2009:
Are you currently in a major dispute with a family member? Is this feud causing a ruckus in your household, or making home life unbearable? Are other family members staying neutral or are sides being chosen? Has the dispute elevated to the point where some legal action has been taken or has become necessary? Are you considering seeking family counseling for this feud, or does this feud seem to have no end in sight?
OR, is your family currently fueding with another family, like a modern day Hatfields vs McCoys? Are you not allowed to talk to them, even though you might be friends with one of their members? If you feel like a family reunion is going to be virtually impossible to pull off this year or ever, MTV wants to hear from you.
If you appear to be between the ages of 17-28 and are embroiled in a family feud please email us at FamilyFeud@mtvn.com. Be sure to include your name, your story, a phone number and a photo.
Comment by madeyoulook on 2 March 2009:
I’ve been dating a Black man for four years now (I’m Chinese) and we always get looks from other people, especially Asian men and Black women. It’s funny how Asian men never checked for me when I was single, but the minute I get a Black boyfriend, they get mad because I’m not with “one of them”. Either way, me and my man shrug it off because we could care less what they think. Haters will be haters, regardless of race.
Comment by homesteader on 2 March 2009:
Enjoy who you are with , We got bad looks in the beginning of our partnership . Have met many new friends with time . Allow the ones who act funny their time to stand in the rain . Others shall make you laugh , Growth in society is through Education . Some will never learn , We have seen what we want to see Together . We will Walk Proudly with who We are . We Desire to be with each other and that is Nobodys Business save our Own
Comment by edward, on 8 April 2009:
I see alot of small town hippocrites saying or thinking things,
i mean so waht if your honey is black and your white,
if you happy then whatever,
let the other people dry up if they want too they will only curse themselves and cut their throats by judging someone the wrong way,
I see alot of black woman id like to be close too they have a quality that is way more personable and real that most white woman i know,
alot of white woman out there are soo flighty or clickish that its really sickening,
God dont have any favorites,what he does for one person , he’ll do for another,
and God dont look at color and man does and is a hippocrite alot of the time,
Comment by BrownB09 on 8 April 2009:
I agree with most of the comments posted, if you meet somebody and you like this person, don’t worry about what other people think. The behavior of some people leaves me flabbergasted, the snickering and rolling of the eyes. I was out with a friend of mine, I mean, not even on a date, and some(black) woman had the nerve to ask me, why you with dat white boy? What he got money? She was lucky there were kids in the bathroom because I was gonna check her, I couldnt believe she would say such a thing to someone she doesn’t even know. LOL, she saw the look on my face and she got quiet real quick. How dare she!
Comment by southernmoca on 18 April 2009:
I have read the responses and wow..the more time passes the more things stay the same. My husband(rip) family despised me because I was black. I have lost jobs because my husband or SO was not black. 95% of my grief comes from Black men. I have had my car vandalized and I have had people stop talking to me at work and outright refuse to speak to me. I have had friends abandon me and the rude comments (oh brother) But that does not deter me from dating white or non-black men. I think its funny how some ignorant people will say why are you with a white man?, what a shame and you’re so pretty too as if to say if I were ugly it would be okay to date another race. Pffffft. If I have said it once i have said it 100 times…It may be 2009 and there may be a black president in America but racism is alive and well and staying right here among us.
Comment by homesteader on 18 April 2009:
To Each His Own , Only the seconds on a clock Change with Similiar Movement in Time . I am Caucasian / it was Caucasian who stole from - vandelized - terriorized Me , can’t you see all people have their own Lower Class as bye ” Actions ” in Life Ignorance shall forever be Equal to All , as they Desire to show .
Comment by Esmayali on 18 April 2009:
Small minded people ridicule. Why should any attention be given to them and the malicious comments. When I am getting the “stare” it’s usually because of something good. Who enjoys looking at something that is not pleasing to the eye? So, the next time that you are out with your partner and someone is having a difficult time not looking at you; think that they are wishing that it was them enjoying your happiness because when you’re happy it shows and that’s most important. Think that; if you looked like hell and the person that you are with looks the same…would they care? I don’t think so.
Comment by BrownB09 on 18 April 2009:
To southernmoca,
That is so true, let me tell you, when we left the bathroom and went back to our tables, she and her girlfriends were staring, whispering and laughing. I got so angry,my friend and I ordered our food to go! After I left I was mad at myself for letting them get to me, but they were so loud, Im quite certain rhings would have escalated.
Comment by TOYOTACAMRY on 4 May 2009:
People who care who is dating who , and what race is going out with what race are LOSERS AND FAILURES AND UNDERACHIEVERS AND MUTS. If you are a white male dating a black woman, be ready to throw down if you have to. Black men think that white guys are punching bags for them., NOT ME. I would rather live like a hero than die like a coward any day of the week. I have been involved with 3 black women over the last 8 years. I had a problem once, only once and i took care of it, enough said.
Comment by Sobers on 4 May 2009:
Esmayali
You go for white men ? I can honestly that’s just terrible…just terrible, this is a black man speaking here and if you were over in the UK and we seen you out with ur man…..something not very pleasant would happen to your B.Friend.
Comment by Sobers200 on 4 May 2009:
Esmayali
You go for white men ? I can honestly that’s just terrible…just terrible, this is a black man speaking here and if you were over in the UK and we seen you out with ur man…..something not very pleasant would happen to your B.Friend.
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 14 May 2009:
Sobers200, seriously man…you got one hell of a complex. I go for white men. I go for black men too but it wouldn’t be you. Needing to DE-MAN another man? You’re an f-ing CHILD thats a long over-due ass-whooping! The white men I date are very much MEN and you’d quickly see what would NOT be going down! And if they can’t take care of the job, I’d do it myself - Jersey style! Golden Gloves baby! No hater will ever get the best of me or mine..please believe!
And FYI - this is an INTERRACIAL dating site, DOUCHE BAG!!! If you have issues with this, then you shouldn’t be here.
I don’t date white men because blacks wont have me or they are all taken. Its because I can and I will. There’s a true attraction and if you don’t get that, you never will. And its not your GUT telling you that its wrong. Its a combination of the B.S. you ate for dinner and Jealousy corrupting your system. Flush all that toxin out of your mind and body and start your day fresh. Seriously, before you run across the wrong one.
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 14 May 2009:
And back to the topic.
I haven’t experienced any ridicule until this past year. I had a few dates with this really cute white guy (Jazz musician, tall, brown hair/ bright blue eyes, loved my thighs *sigh*). Growing up, this was as normal as breathing. Moving somewhere else and everyone has an opinion. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with a forceful personality so many people will not try to step out of line with me. Check the face, I don’t play that!
Anyway, on one occasion we were out eating at the bar area of a restaurant and three black women were eating. One had the nerve to make a comment to her friends, “What is she doing with him?” I turned in my seat, looked her dead in her face and told her, “Its obvious what I’m doing, minding my business and leaving yours alone. No one asked why you were wearing that busted ass weave!”
On a second occasion, we met up on a Friday at a bar and the place was packed. I was getting hit on by all kinds of men. The guy I was dating showed and we posted up by the bar. We were confortable and he was “tapping” a beat on my thigh *sigh*. We were very close, flirting, laughing, touching, hands through the hair, the whole thing. I noticed 2 black men directly across from me trying to get my attention, making gestures for me to leave my date with this puzzled look on their faces. I just smiled real seductively, turned my head, pressed my breast closer to my date and kept right on talking. The best thing he did for me that night (he’s extremely unobservant about things like this) was when we were leaving the bar. We were outside, waiting on our cars, some white girls was getting closer to him, not sure if he was with me and the black guys were still gesturing. He bundled me up to his chest so I didn’t get cold and when his friend (who’s black by the way) pulled up with their car, he grabbed me by my nape, and gave me the deepest kiss ever. I swear I still feel it! All I could do was smile and turn and say “run, tell that!” and walk off, of course with a sassy sashay!
Aint nobody ever gonna dictate who I should date because they have problems. I wouldn’t be a real woman if I let them get to me but again, I hardly hear the comments. Most people aren’t that bold around me.
And Sober200, I’m half black half Jew. I guess i’m not worth the effort to DE-MAN my date because I’m white too, huh?! Racial purity is long gone so it seems your argument doesn’t hold water anymore. Food for thought, little man.
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 14 May 2009:
Sharkie, I know your family’s opinion means alot to you. I can tell but you have to live for you. The woman your family WOULD approve of would not be the one you would be happy with. This beautiful woman makes you happy and she’s black. Black is another beautiful color to complete your rainbow but you already know that. It’s a shame that your family can’t see that and get to know the woman.
If this is the woman that you can see yourself with, the go with that. You have to live with her, no one else. You can’t be miserable to make other miserable people happy. People with be miserable no matter what and you’ll have lost and joined their sad party.
And your girlfriend will be fine. She probably is full of confidence and self-esteem. As long as she know how much you love and cherish her, you guys will get through anything. Keep your love foremost, and everything else is gravy.
Comment by blackstorm69 on 17 May 2009:
I was once engaged to a white german guy who came to my country for carnival one year, we attended a party with some of my black male friends and they started getting kicks ( making jokes and laughing ) at him because he was not moving in time to the soca music. I simply pulled one of my black friends aside and told him I was quite displeased and that they should not be making fun of my friend, he subsequently went back to the group and told them to stop it. I guess in the end our friendshio was worth more to him than humiliating my guest. I on many occassions have gotten looks from poeple when I was with men of other races, people especially black me and women of all races would give us the disapproving look and when they do I just look them staight in their faces and smile and wave that really pisses them off.
Comment by sharkie on 27 May 2009:
Honeykissed thank you so much for your kind words, that means alot. To update my posting, My Girl and I are now engaged and she is six months pregnant, I am very happy and am thankful that she came into my life.
thanks sharkie
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 28 May 2009:
Peace and blessings to both of you, Sharkie! Hopefully, soon, My Girl will be changed to My Wife!
Comment by homesteader on 29 May 2009:
sharkie ; Congratulations , May your baby be born Healthy and Naked . Amen
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 29 May 2009:
Amen to healthy and naked babies! Truly a blessing!
Comment by sharkie on 11 June 2009:
Thanks Honeykissed and Homesteader. It has been a long road the last week. My girl went into labor friday and gave birth to a 1.2 pound baby girl. She was only at 27 weeks gestation. All is going ok right now, but it is such a stress. I am really praying all goes well. I keep thinking that this is a test of my faith, but I really want to give props to my girl she is a fighter.
Peace
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 11 June 2009:
Sharkie,
This is so tramatic! I feel your pain but I congratulate you and your woman on being strong. For what its worth you are in my prayers.
Comment by sharkie on 13 June 2009:
Just got a call this morning from the doctors, and our little girl is now sick, they say she needs a blood transfusion, I dont know what to do at this point, I am scared.
Comment by me too on 13 June 2009:
The most interesting part of this discussion is that most of the comments are posted by black women and white men. Where are the white (or apparently white) women and black men in all this?
Oh, wait…here I am!
I am a biracial (Apache Indian and Caucasian) woman, my appearance is white. I guess I’m white on the outside, red on the inside.
Anyway, I am seeing a very obviously and dark black man. I have not yet met his family and that’s what I’m the most nervous about. He says his mother (in her 80’s) is okay with it, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say. Maybe I’ll make her some frybread tacos and show her how to do the Shawl Dance.
I have dated almost all races and have found that white men want a maid, Indians want a mother, Hispanics want a virgin and black men (at least this one, anyway) want a PARTNER. For the first time, I feel like my man actually listens to me and is interested in what I have to say. I know, it’s a generalization, but we only have our experiences to work with, yeah?
I could give a rip how others view us when we are together and I’ll even kiss him in public in the middle of the deep south. Let ‘em stare. Maybe they’ll see what love is supposed to look like.
Comment by me too on 13 June 2009:
And sharkie…I pray the Grandmothers watch over you, your woman and your precious little baby. I am burning sage and lavender to carry my prayers to the Creator for all of you.