‘Aint no thing as love in the ghetto. Cupid is a racist.’
That one I heard from Kevin Barnes (Marques Houston) when watching one very ancient episodes of CUTS TV show.
Most Black men don’t get enough credit from their own women. Hence most black women who end up being single will tell you that they have never met a good black man or the one that they thought was good turned out to be a loser just like the rest.
Then we have the women that keep complaining that white women are stealing all their black men hence being left with the ‘thugs’ to choose from.
Given the above analysis, was Kevin Barnes right? What do you think of his statement?
Tags: love in the ghetto, interracial dating sites, black dating site
Popularity: 3% [?]
Comment by deeann on 21 January 2008:
Firstly, I have never heard of “Cut Ups” the tv show and how antiquated is that program? Apparently,that program is no longer being renewed for a good reason. Also, lets put the word ‘ghetto’ to rest another antiquated word. I live in a neighborhood not a ‘ghetto.’
Secondly, all bf do not take their husbands/mates for granted and the same can be said for some bm.
Thirdly, what about the other races and cupid? I have read articles by Asian and White females who have said, Asian and White men are not romantic. An old Ricky Lake program had this wf stating how much hate she had for wm…why isn’t there more articles about how wm/ww are hating each other? If you wish to be fair this cupid article should have been written to include ALL RACES.
VT…Sometimes men think they are smarter than us females. I do not feel sorry for Michael Strahan he wanted to marry that particular female. Apparently, Strahan did not receive the best legal advice. The ex-Mrs. Strahan will receive over 50% or 53% of his income…what a sweet deal for her. Actually, I am not upset with his ex., she played her hand and she won. Do I think she was a gold diger?…HELL YES. A rich man, sexy as hell, not too ‘bright’ and he is into wf why wouldn’t she go for the gold? Like alot of athelets, Mr. Strahan thought he was smarter than the woman…because she probably did not have a degree or maybe she had an average to low wage job when he met her. The guy simply did not seek out the BEST LEGAL ADVISOR.
I always wonder what the parents and siblings of these athletes think. Of course, the media rarely interview the professional athletes and their extended family any more…now that is sad.
Comment by luv_joenzy on 21 January 2008:
This article simply proves the ignorance of people by somehow trying to relate love with a person’s skin tone. If it holds true for the ghetto, than the same can be said for the trailer park!
Comment by ebonydamsel on 21 January 2008:
Who is Michael Strahan… and why is he important…the problem lies with respect for each other as human beings…race has nothing to do with it…we seem not to value human life anymore…just look at all the husbands doing away with their wives and I don’t mean divorcing them but killing…domestic abuse on both sides…we have be come such a throw away society…we get bored and just throw that person away…it is so sad…but this needs to start way back…children are not being taught how to respect and cherish life…people lack manners…yet there are many couples that have been together for ages…they are happy, they treasure and respect each other and love unconditionally through thick and thin…there are more people together than not and there are a lot looking…so we need to find people who have successful relationships and learn from them…
Comment by girlsixdiva on 21 January 2008:
great point ebony!
Comment by deeann on 21 January 2008:
goggle the his name.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 21 January 2008:
Well,that is about a 360 degree racist thought as there is…
I never evven heard of the show…but then I don’t watch TV…it is an IDIOT TUBE! And this proves it!
Good luck in your searches.
Southern smiels and world peace,
Sharon
Comment by nfl24 on 22 January 2008:
I think what it comes down too is respect and most of all communication. We human beings are so rapped up in who is the sexiest,got money and all of these unimportant issues.
Instead of people talking getting to know about one another and I mean getting to know one another. When you are talking to someone really listen. We get so distracted because female has a big butt or big breast. Men have big chest.
My point is it doesn’t matter what race you are. No race is stealing anyone. Its 2 people getting to know the truth about the other person and deciding whether or not they want to be with them. I agree with ebony statement so much. We need to listen to the couples that has succeeded and not listen to the negatives that we always listen too.
How would you know that there are no good brothers out there if you never give a brother a chance to talk to you and find out what he is about. Same goes for those men that just want a big booty girl and never find out the real women and what is it they bring to the table.
Comment by polyglot on 22 January 2008:
I don’t believe Cupid to be racist, because I don’t believe in Cupid. Wouldn’t it be simplistic if we didn’t have to do any work in relationships, and it was all left to chance? That’s what Cupid represents, *bing* you’re hit and magically in love. We all know that not to be the case.
I have heard the statement that “white women are stealing black men.” I don’t agree with it. If a black man has a preference for white women, then it has nothing to do with black women or even white women. It has to do with that man’s preference. I can not agree wholly that race doesn’t matter, especially since I live in the United States. I can, however, state that race shouldn’t matter.
God could have made everyone the same race and the questions and hatred would never have arisen. I think we are different for a reason, though. Is a rose more beautiful than a violet or a lily? Who can say? It comes down to preference.
Comment by cocokisses on 22 January 2008:
By the way…Michael Strahan is a football player for the New York Giants for those who didn’t know.
Excellent comments Ebony, and you didn’t have to write a small novel to get your point across!
Comment by tigerlilies on 22 January 2008:
I think it’s sad we’re still allowing ourselves to be pulled into the ’skin’ game. When are we gonna just realize that’s all it is?
Comment by mossimo on 22 January 2008:
Good points all…great comments Ebony.
When will we get past this skin thing? There are good and bad folks of all colours and creeds.
Comment by fala on 22 January 2008:
Good points everyone and of course, I always agree with you Mossimo!
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 22 January 2008:
The obvious point of the article and the statement in general is the status of black family life. Young black women no longer dream about the man they’ll ‘marry’; instead they worry about how irresponsible their baby-daddy is. Maybe part of it is the welfare state that rewarded women for having children out of wedlock, and in the end you have a situation not only of broken homes, but homes that were never really whole to start with.
Some people might jump on me and claim I’m over-generalizing; but when I was teaching in Kansas City, only 2 out of my 24 homeroom students actually have both parents at home, and one of those kids was white. The trend is clear and unambiguous; people in the Inner-City have a mind-set that does not consider marriage - a sub-subculture that I’m intentionally trying to distance myself from.
Comment by nfl24 on 23 January 2008:
Because people love drama more then they like honesty or truth. Everyone says they want honesty. Not everyone can handle honesty. That is why the race card keeps getting played.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 23 January 2008:
CUPID is not RACIST!
He is all about LOVE…
Smiles,
Sharon
Comment by deeann on 23 January 2008:
Kngdavid01…you are distancing yourself? Well, aren’t you superior? As a teacher you should have stated what you are doing to assist those young people who have been misguided. Sometimes all it takes is a GOOD MENTOR to set a young person straight.
Comment by ethereal99 on 23 January 2008:
Hi all: Here is a New York perspective IMHO: First off, ghetto is not a term that I use. In New York City there are the projects where folks can get affordable housing. Right accross the street from the projects, there are luxury condos being built costing one million dollars for two bedrooms. I do understand the question, but it seems outdated. I feel that love can be found anywhere & I’m sure it is everywhere. Sure, there are all types of thugs out there & they are of all colors & social & financial status. They can be avoided though. There are so many ways to get out in the world & meet people & so many sites online to chat with someone if you can’t get out much. Also, I don’t see white women stealing all the good black men. In my area, there are more white men together with Asian ladies. Today, race has much less importance when it comes to love, escpecially for young people. So, for me, cupid is not racist, but we all have our own unique experiences. All the best !!!!!
Comment by mossimo on 23 January 2008:
Winks at Fala!!
Comment by mrsmile on 23 January 2008:
Hello out there,
am from old school seen a lot and been around a lot of people and I think color has nothing to do with whom you want to be with Its all about whats In the heart and how much love you have for another most people believe theres a christ and a god and we dont ask each other what color jesus Is cause It doesnt really matter what matter was that he loved us and give his life for the world that all people can live and be as one and have love and respect for each other, were all attracked by people of diffrent races and It Its really about the human race and how we treat others the way we want to be treat, your always going to find some negtive people who keep up a lot of crap and if you listen to them this Is what you get stupidty, listen to your heart.
Comment by cocokisses on 24 January 2008:
Poor little Cupid…getting blamed for all this mess!
Comment by starthai on 24 January 2008:
I don’t know who the hell Micheal Starhan is, but the staement that WW are stealing black men, I say steal them, steal them all it just means more WM to go around for me
Comment by acuteblkguy on 24 January 2008:
well when i’m always asked about why i dont date black women , my response has always been short and simple, they dont turn me on, and within any type of healthy relationship I AM IN, its not gonna work if the person i’m with i dont have that physical passion for, just as well for me that mental passion.
usually when asked by black women, i throw a question back after i give them that answer. How come u dont like asian men? and every single time, the answer is they dont do nothin for me, and then i say thats a good reason not to date them.
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 24 January 2008:
Deann, the point is that there’s a culture in the inner-city that rejects marriage with lasting consequences for the children-having-children. And yes, it is superior to get married the right way and raise a stable family.
Comment by deeann on 25 January 2008:
Kingdavido1, Again, I say (before I was edited) WHERE ARE THE FATHERS….STOP BLAMING JUST THE FEMALES.
Comment by deeann on 25 January 2008:
WHERE ARE THE FATHERS WHO HAVE ABANDONED THOSE CHILDREN? A FEMALE MUST HAVE A MAN’S SPERM TO CONCEIVE A CHILD. YES, GET MARRIED FIRST; HOWEVER, BW ARE NOT THE ONLY FEMALES WHO HAVE HAD CHILDREN BEFORE MARRIAGE. BUT, BW ARE THE MOST MALIGN FEMALES IN THE U.S. AND THE MAJORITY OF US TO DO DESERVE TO BE SO MALIGN. HOW SAD IT IS FOR SOME MEN TO CONTINUALLY BLAME WOMEN FOR ALL THE ILLS IN A COMMUNITY. Kngdavido1, you still have not said one thing you are doing are have done to help those young people who have been misguided. Most of these young people can use a GOOD MENTOR.
Comment by deeann on 25 January 2008:
correction “or”
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 25 January 2008:
Yes, a lot of fathers in the inner city abandon their children, but after living there, (trying to Mentor) and listening I start to get the feeling that the women really don’t EXPECT the men to stay around. There are men with five and six kids all by different moms, and yet some BW are not really put off by that. (making it seven kids by different moms) They don’t even THINK about getting married. The Black family was the core of our strength all throughout the days of Jim-Crow, and it’s such a tragedy the way the kids get caught in the same cycle.
Comment by deeann on 25 January 2008:
Kngdavid01, boo who…enough with the pity party.
You are still in the blame the female mode. However, females should wake up and make better decisions and stop listening to that bull&#*$ that some men continue to tell them. Yes, there maybe a self esteem issue going on and some people do not realize until it is too late that to every action there is a re-action. ONE CAN STOP UNPRODUCTIVE BEHAVIOR. Choose more POSITIVE role models. Ladies it is Ok to expect more from the men in your lives BEFORE ISSUING THE “COOKIES” OUT. Just because you are issuing the “cookie” out that does not mean he will stay with you. (Hmmm, Kngdavid01…how many of these females did you bed and now you have had some type of an epiphany.) Ladies if you are go enough to bed then you should be good enough to marry. It is more beneficial to be married then just being some guy’s “friend with benefits”…enough said.
Comment by deeann on 25 January 2008:
correction from earlier…Do not deserve to be malign.
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 25 January 2008:
I actually agree with Deeann that inner-city black women should expect better. I was just pointing out that it seems like they don’t. And no, I didn’t contribute to the situation of fatherless children at all.
Comment by acuteblkguy on 25 January 2008:
its not inner city its everywhere and if u dont know that you’re blind, we’ve been led to believe that there are more issues like that in the inner city but when u look at the numbers its everywhere. no matter what u want a person to do, it is ultimately about free will and choice, i’ve been with women who made poor decisions and i leave the relationship, prob is most people are looking to change the things they dont like about a person.
And being a great father has nothing to do with marriage, its the character of a man. i think we shoud be more concerned with the destructive behavior we show within marriages and relationships, why do u think the kids of the baby boomers are less likely to marry, i’m leaning more towards the display set by our married parents. Do your research, look at the numbers. and look at the relationships the parents of the baby boomers have had as well. its about people demanding happiness within their relationships, where as in the past people felt pressure by society, religion and family to remain in unhealthy relationships, in turn destroying the future relationships of our kids.
Comment by Jabali on 26 January 2008:
Is it possible to simply look at a human being beyond his/her skin?
Comment by cocokisses on 26 January 2008:
Wow…it’s been a while since there was a blog that got people so wound up! Keep the dialog open.
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 27 January 2008:
Well, I have looked at the numbers, and people who live together without being married are actually more likely to break up than if they were married. Funny how that works out.
Comment by cocoadream on 28 January 2008:
Was pretty disgusted with the original post. Just how hard are black people going to have to fight to accept each other, much less everyone else, if this is to be believed? Just sounds like a whole lot of racism against themselves with the attitudes expressed in the original post. Why do idiots keep passing this kind of BS around? To keep people more ignorant or what? Cupid a racist? Hell, now even cartoon characters are accused of racism, when it is just a “reflection”. Those who claim it are the ones who are probably guilty of it.
Comment by kathugga on 28 January 2008:
Wow, what a statement! Well, mebbe not about the whole Cupid thing, but all the good ones after. Cupid comes from the Greek mythoi you know, at a time when it was probably less common to marry across racial lines than now. Bad enough to go after a woman from the wrong city-state let alone a different race. But, I’m sure interracial marriage happened even then. I’m not sure tho, my interest in history doesn’t really go back that far beyond the art of the era.
What I see tho, is people wanting to play the blame game in this. That isn’t a thing that anyone should do. People make choices and then have to face the results of those choices. If I can’t find a good woman it’s not the womens’ fault. I don’t go out much, work mostly, so I’m not where I can see and be seen. That’s my choice tho, to not go out. Lol, so I’m here instead. If a woman can’t find a good man, it’s not the mens’ fault. Go where the men are!
Once you meet someone and start dating, of course you have to decide if it’s worth continuing past the first one or two dates, or three or four, etc, etc . . . and it has to be a concious decision on your part. If you think the other person feels hinky after a while, they probably are and you should move on.
It doesn’t matter what race the person is either. To use the old cliche, there’s good and bad in every race, but you aren’t going to find the good without seeing the bad at the same time. Just don’t date the bad if you can avoid it
I realize that’s not always possible, since some people are very good at hiding the real them, sometimes until it’s too late for the other person. I’ll give an example if you don’t mind.
A few weeks ago here in Sioux City, the fire department responded to a fire at a house. Upstairs, after they got into the house, they found two dead girls, age 10 and 7. The mother was at work, the baby was at a sitter, and the step dad was across the street watching the house burn (this came out a day or two later btw). he and the mother had been married for 2 or 3 years, the baby was theirs, the girls hers from a previous marriage. Sadly, the fire didn’t kill the girls, he did. They had been strangled and stabbed. I worked with this guy, and he was always pleasant and polite and friendly. but it seems the real him was something else entirely than pleasant polite and friendly.
Thing is, who really cares what cupid thinks anyway. It’s what we as people think, and what sort of person we prefer to be with. If you are black and like white, great! If you are white and like black, great! To a greater or lesser extent we are people who go outside what is considered the norm for our society and our families to find the person we want to be with. If you are a person who prefers to be with a person of your own race, great! We all have to remember to be picky with who we choose, regardless of preference. It doesn’t matter if they have a PhD or GED, as long as they are stable emotionally and financially and will provide for the family emotionally and (depending on the situation) financially.
Comment by Rae56 on 28 January 2008:
Cupid resides in each of us,soooooo, rather than asking “is Cupid racist,” the question should be turned inward.
Comment by jewel65 on 28 January 2008:
How dare anyone state that white women are “stealing black men”? From whom? Black women do not own black men, any more than I, as a white woman, own white men. (What a horrible thought!) Black men, just like white men, are perfectly capable of deciding whom they wish to date, and if some people have a preference for a particular type, well, that’s just human nature.
And to vt33, please, we do not wish to read your racist views that white women are evil. Are you for real????
Comment by vt33 on 28 January 2008:
I just Fedexed some cheese to go with that whine, and some Kleenex for your sob story..lol
Comment by ethereal99 on 29 January 2008:
After reading blogs on this site, I wonder if everyone isn’t racist to some degree…………. No one is perfect. Cupid is probably racist too.
Comment by jewel65 on 29 January 2008:
Ha ha ha ha! What a great sense of humour you have, vt33!!! Well at least you have something going for you, let’s hope that will endear people to you, and maybe help to mask your racist views. Thanks for the cheese, very kind of you, but I’ll be sending it back just in case you wish to eat it with your sour grapes.
And the kleenex will come in handy for crying with laughter at the kind of ignorant comment which I’m sure you’ll reply to me with. You are mistaken, I have no sob story, just a very happy and fulfilled life!
Sweetheart, I’ll pray for your soul. xx
Comment by Jeff on 11 March 2008:
Cupid. Yes, Cupid is racist, the little ba..ard.
I don’t know. I don’t think anyone does. Nobody knows anything.
-Jeffrey
Comment by blossom35 on 31 March 2008:
cupid is whatever a person chooses him/her to be.
Comment by blossom35 on 31 March 2008:
No, Cupid is not racist…. he is a lively youth who delights in pranks and spreading love.
Therefore,most associate and confuse Cupid with who they are inside…..poor Cupid catches hell for having fun and wanting to see others in love.
-Blossom35
Comment by kitkhat on 28 June 2008:
Yeh you are right. but I don’t let that get to me. I’ve had no luck with black men. You got the ones that do not work and the ones who cheat and the one who have fathered children multible women. I got over that a long time ago.No cupid is not racist he just so dam carfull about wasting his arrows on people who are going to break them by breaking hearts.
Comment by lala2qz on 19 October 2008:
of course he’s not, people shouldnt blame a fictional figure that represents a great concept of love for their lack of it. and as for white women stealing black men……. so…. i guess this means that black women own black mean huh? thats not a very sensible thing to say. kinda of like saying all half black and black women in general belong to black men
Comment by homesteader on 18 January 2009:
How can an idea / imaginary creature . Be anything but ones own thoughts ? We see what we wish to see . Women Love Men because Men Love Women , as I see it . Love Les
Comment by Bellara on 14 July 2009:
wow this article is so day care…cupid is not racist and will never be racist because the damn thing is not even real. its ignorant and demented humans that attach race to every thing. this article is rubbish! its amusing but extremely sad to see bunch of grown ups fussing over such a lousy topic (sighs)
Comment by Leavitobeavr on 5 August 2009:
How do you know if cupid is a he? Cupid could be a she.