She knows he likes strip clubs and that kills her. But she has decided to take him to a strip club for his birthday. She would really love to be the girl who doesn’t mind but she just can’t shut down those images in her memory (women rubbing themselves on her man in front of her) and it really hurts. Truth is, she really wants to accept this ‘nature’ of men.
Help a girl out.
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Comment by HydrabadChik on 21 May 2008:
Tit for tat (no pun intended - lol) is supposedly not the way “grownups” handle conflict.
But we can’t get away from give & take, from compromise. How does he feel if She goes to a Chippendale’s Club? (I don’t think Chippendale’s still exists - It’s just an example.)
If he complains about some of her activities that get under his skin, she can gently remind him of her “stripper sacrifice”.
Fair?
Comment by ethereal99 on 21 May 2008:
Did you say tit for tat? Hmmm, he must have done something right.
Comment by tony240 on 21 May 2008:
Why are we always trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.
You tried, it didn’t fit, move on.
Life is too short.
Comment by Blkbeauty31 on 21 May 2008:
I have never been able to understand this one.
Comment by redwoodswede on 21 May 2008:
Much as I hate to give Carlos Mencia credit for anything, he had a very interesting theory about this: it’s all done for the fantasy aspect. We are lavished with attention by women who would never even give us a second look in real life, and we have the liberty to turn down any of them. Basically, it’s our turn to be the ones who get pursued, and we pay for that privilege.
I’ve never been to a strip club, but that explanation struck a chord with me.
Anyway, I have very little desire to go to a strip bar. My view is, if a woman’s going to take off her clothes for me, she should do so in my living room!
That joke leads to my next point: if she’s really not happy with her man going to a strip club once in a while, then why not give him that experience herself? It’d probably be fun, and she wouldn’t have to worry about the “no touching” rules…
Comment by JIB on 22 May 2008:
The thing missing here is whether this was a request from him or if it was something she just decided to do. This is simply about communication. If she doesn’t communicate her issue with him then it will grow into a resentment. It also sends him a wrong message about what she likes and doesn’t like.
The “tit for tat” comments, while cute, are way out of line. If she hasn’t communicated with him then she has no right to use or express that logic.
Ken
Comment by ethereal99 on 22 May 2008:
I could not imagine a female taking me to a strip club. If it bothers her, she should not give him positive conditioning & should look for other ideas even though it’s his birthday. She needs to get strong & tell him thats out ! Next !
Comment by jewel65 on 22 May 2008:
Hey, what’s the problem? Why is this woman so narrow minded? I love going to strip clubs, forget the men, I go with my female friends - it’s a great night out, and the some of the pole-dancing skills are amazing. Sadly, I’ve never managed to convince a boyfriend husband or lover to go with me. Oh well, their loss!!!!
Comment by Niland on 23 May 2008:
I was in this situation once and it was extremely uncomfortable. It was not my idea to go, and I felt like I was disrespecting my girlfriend. The only thing I enjoyed while there was shooting pool. It ended up a drama filled night and I would’ve rather gone pretty much anywhere else.
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 23 May 2008:
The real question is; why is it this is so horrifying to some women, yet others find it amusing? Are women that hate the display of female sexuality more or less healthy than women who are amused by it? I don’t think it’s a liberal/convservative thing. Does it have to do with body-image issues? We’ve all seen ravishingly gorgeous women who would sooner kill themselves than be seen in a bikini, but if you go into certain gas-stations in certain parts of cities, the magazine racks will reveal many women of …. dubious physical charms that crave the chance to bare all. What is the determining factor? I’ve always wondered that.
Comment by fkoi on 25 May 2008:
A lot of the required info was left out of the blog. Has he ever been to a strip club? Has she? How does he feel about them? Does she feel the women there are denigrating themselves and, by extension, her?
And if it’s an “upscale gentelmen’s club”, he might prefer a weekend on Oahu or the Bahamas. It could be cheaper too!
Comment by BrownMagic on 25 May 2008:
You are really “STUPID” to participate and condone in his perverted activities. He has NO respect for you as obviously you have NONE for yourself! You both belong together=Him-Dumb and You-DUMBEST. You are a PURE settling FOOL!
There are no such things as “gentlemen’s” club, because a REAL MAN/GENTLEMAN would NEVER venture into a low-life, trashy environment like that, huh fkoi?
Comment by BrownMagic on 25 May 2008:
Kngdavid01 you must be as GAY as Broke Back Mountain to make that comment -OR- simply you need to go to the “THUNDER DOWN UNDER” Performace and compare your body image to those fellows…..LOL Afterwards, make that same comment about your “Body Image” and sexuality that you are obviously confused about!
Comment by Kngdavid01 on 30 May 2008:
Oohhh… struck a nerve did I? That’s what I’m talking about - for Brownmagic, it’s some kind of body-image insecurity that provokes her outrage. Interesting.
Comment by FRIENDLY on 7 June 2008:
Wow,Brownmagic that was so strong for it to be advice. The poor lady needs to just be strong and say it when it feels uncomfortable. You should never do anything that feels uncomfortable to you and if your partner is not sensitive enough to realize your discomfort, your marriage is in for trouble.
Comment by Hope on 8 August 2008:
People do different things but personally, I do not want a relationship where he feels this is entertainment he needs or finds “fun.” I just had a NOW Ex, tell me that it was good entertainment. He cheated twice that I know of and has lied more than any human I know. One other boyfriend in my past used the excuse if he was with clients from out of town and they wanted to go, then he had to go. Nope! Have guts to say you will leave that to them and exit. He felt I was telling him what to do. NOPE..I just said that it wasn’t what I wanted in a relationship, so he could choose however he felt he should. The other one who frequent them behind my back, he too cheated.
So, I feel there is so much more to share and values to hold up. If you are looking and fantasing, are you cheating? I’d say yes. Its not the same as seeing a lovely person fully clothed walk past you. Its an effort to go to this place seeing implied sex! I wished women who work there would have more respect for themselves.
Comment by sovoluptuous on 11 August 2008:
I agree with so many of you,I don’t like it and i know if the man i’m dating or going to date is so into strip clubs that he doesnt care or notice that i don’t appreciate him going then its my fault if i stay with him and he continues,If i have a problem with it and he won’t stop,I’m not sticking around i’m moving on.