Have you noticed a recent surge in Asian men and white women being together lately? Bruce Lee and Linda Lee Caldwell were one of Hollywood’s first Asian man/Caucasian women celebrity couples … and that was in the 60s! So what’s changed?
The question is, why is this interracial combo not as widespread as other interracial combos?
There is definitely a higher percentage of Asian women with white men than ever before. Why?
The above video was taken by video crew who asked random and predominantly Asian guys and girls “Why Asian girls are attracted to white guys”. Stereotype… stereotype and more stereotype!
According to this video, most respondents described Asian men as being too shy or unassertive. The woman also stated Asian men were too effeminate and even too short! Apparently this is turning Asian women away and they are beginning to look elsewhere.
Asian stereotypes have been created by society in general. Enough articles have been written about what I would like to call stereotypical racism in the Asian community – for instance, how Caucasian men actively seek an Asian woman because of their exotic looks and supposed submissivenes?. How many have this so called Asian fetish or yellow fever?
Asian females, on the other hand, have constantly been disgraced and labeled “white-washed” women busy trying to climb the social ladder by their own communities and are finding more acceptance with races other than their own.
So what about the rise of interracial relationships between the Asian man and Caucasian woman? Is it that Asian men are fed up with their female counterparts and that they take revenge by dating Caucasian women? (just a thought) Or just that there are fewer Asian females in their dating pool so they are expanding their own horizons?
My conclusion is that maybe it’s not that at all. I think people should be intelligent enough not to allow trivial stereotypes to conform to their preferences on who to date. Why do you think there is a rise in the Asian man-Caucasian woman interracial combo?
Tags: asian men caucasian women, asian dating scene, black women black men
Popularity: 54% [?]
Comment by deeann on 17 October 2007:
No offense to asian females…”whitewashed” now that is a new term to me. Why wouldn’t a white female desire an asian man? I believe many asian men can be good providers for their families. No, man nor woman is perfect…we all have our “short” comings. However, we all should marry or date for the “right” reasons- compatibility and love.
Comment by cocokisses on 18 October 2007:
Good for them. Shouldn’t matter what color they are, as long as they are happy. Sometimes you have to look beyond everything you know, to find exactly what you want.
Comment by fala on 18 October 2007:
Can’t we all just get along????
Comment by TriChique on 20 October 2007:
Apparently not, fala - lol
Comment by vt33 on 20 October 2007:
Hmm..I am back from the server not letting me in..lol
Funny how this topic comes up on the blog. I have seen a rash of white guy, asian girl relationships over the past month and a half.
To say, that the girls in the video make statements that the “asian guy aren’t assertive’. I don’t know really. I think the reason why the surge has happaned, you have more asian people who are born in the USA and they are stepping away from the tradition of Asian culture. Americanized if you will.
Years ago you never saw overweight asian people, now you do, how many times in the past 20 years have you seen a bulging asian dude at the gym and you were ready to get in on the goods, now you do. Years ago you never really saw white men dating asian women, you saw a few, vietnames and white unions, same as black and phillipino unions.
Truth, I think they are embracing the newfound culture that they are being raised in, and with anything, the old traditional ways are being pushed more to the back then standing out as it has been done by their forefathers. The girls said they want taller, men more assertive asian men. That will happan as generations start to evolve. It is the cycle of life.
Its the same as black women and white men getting hitched up. Many years ago it was unheard of to do such a thing. Only documented case was the Love case in Virginia which went up against a racial supreme court at that time. Yet I must say, now white men anbd black women are getting married, the culture is shifting, for the better some might say, and others will say for the worse.
Folks don’t read so much into this. It’s just a classic case of generation evolving. Don’t feel threatend by it, no need to. At some point, a Asian dude might be attractive to you, and he may be the six feet tall, he might can give you good “sexy”, maybe even mind blowing. Look at the Asians dudes in the militiary, heck, they damn near, dating every color out of the rainbow. Just evolving and learning other people.
damn over did it on my return blog! Till the next episode!
Comment by fala on 21 October 2007:
Glad to have you back Vt.
Comment by hoganfan on 27 October 2007:
Asian women seem to wamt the world! I want a woman that loves the world…..
Comment by mossimo on 27 October 2007:
I have seen plenty of these relationships lately. Of course, overall, there seems to be more interracial dating these days, so perhaps the trend is a rising tide lifting all boats so to speak.
Comment by ziyou on 27 October 2007:
It’s true, you do see more Asian men/ white women couples now. A good thing. Shows more equal mixing for everybody. I do think some white men have this fantasy of the “doormat” — but sexy - Asian woman, and I’ve seen some marriages like this crumble — you can’t base a successful marriage on stereotypes. But several of my friends and neighbors are now Caucasian-women-and-Asian-men, and they their marriages are doing well. Also I’ve noticed the caucasian women tend to make more of an effort in the marriage — my best friend is Irish ancestry, and she learned Japanese just so she could talk with her in-laws. I don’t know any Caucasian men married to Asian women who have done this.
Comment by Nick Carter on 30 October 2007:
I hadn’t really noticed an influx of Caucasian (Isn’t there a better term that doesn’t classify all people of a fairer hue? Even on this site, “White-European descent” places everyone who chooses that classification in the same trick bag. Look at the picture. Is a woman of Greek heritage so much like a woman from Ireland? Is a Frenchman a copy of a cat from Moscow? But I digress…) with Asian women or visa versa. Maybe I’m just not looking with the right bias.
There are obstacles and prejudices to any bi-cultural relationship. Couples of different religions are sometimes frowned upon by their respectives. Certainly when I am out with a woman of color (Black-Non-African descent as it were), we sometimes encounter evil looks and even outright ugliness. But the times they are a changin’. Not too long ago almost the only mixed couples you would see in the U.S. were in hot-beds like Greenwich Village, Venice Beach or parts of San Francisco. Now it is not uncommon or at least unheard of any where I go.
Then too, a generation ago, Asians were the folks the U.S. was at war with, first in WWII, then Korea and through the Cold War with China. Add to that the frightening prejudice with which Asians have been held throughout our history, it’s a wonder that an Asian would want to date a Caucasian.
Fortunately, however slowly, that is changing. Instead of reducing it to a cultural phenomenon, we should be applauding the change. Sure,for some, the “Yellow Fever” mentality is a reality, just as it is in crossing any cultural line. However, at the risk of sounding like I spent too much time in California, folks are folks and beauty is beauty and attraction is attraction. Let’s let go. Why can’t we all just get along?
Comment by Meme on 30 October 2007:
Yeah there is definately an explosion of white men and asian women. For some this is alarming but to me it is just progress. As for white women and asian men, rarely do I see this pairing I live in new york city and you see just about everything here too!
Also there is another thing I would like to mention and this is off topic but still has to do with interracial dating. There are some black women here wearing buttons that say “I LIKE VANILLA” it is there way of letting white men know they are receptive toward interracial dating. Many black men here have actually spat at these women and cursed a few out after they asked them what it meant. I think it is good they are wearing those buttons, as it could also have white women who were not even thinking about interracial dating with black men might want to give it a shot.
Comment by mossimo on 31 October 2007:
Spitting on a woman for daring to wear a button? What is the world coming to…..
Comment by docomo on 3 November 2007:
I’m asian guy who grew up in Asia. I was super- shocked at the video. These ABCs havo idea what they’re talking about!! Seems they’ve been infected with that constrictive ala George Bush worldview of stereotypes.
Pity them.
I’ve dated both chinese and white girls. Only reason they didn’t work out was personality/pursuit conflicts. No cultural clashes at all.
I think westerners need to look beyond their OWN culture borders now.
Comment by lisa on 8 November 2007:
Meme,
A blogger named Evia came up with the idea of the “I Like Vanilla” buttons. I do not care for that idea simply because of what you have previously stated. Also, the men should wear a button stating, “I Like Chocolate”? Evia stated that men wearing that button may encounter problems…well, what about the females?
Comment by everyone on 9 November 2007:
Tiny penises.
Comment by Won C Hwang on 11 November 2007:
I wish that Asian males not only dating whites, but also blacks and latinas.
Comment by lisa on 12 November 2007:
To the writer everyone:
If you cannot work “it” with your penis then work “it” with your TONGUE. Yes, I said it.
Comment by mossimo on 13 November 2007:
LOL@Lisa….we had to go there, didn’t we
Comment by Halie on 6 December 2007:
I am a Phillipino, and many guys in my high school called me ugly. I hated it, all through my school years, I was made fun of for my asian features. Many people thought I was Hispanic, and would approach me, asking if I could speak Spanish. I never had any boyfriends, and I tried my hardest to look like an American. I died my hair brown, I wanted to have a nose that wasn’t wide, and I wanted my eyes to be pretty and full. I cried myself to sleep each night because I was never asked out. Seriously, I don’t know what you are talking about when you say that American men like Asian girls.
Comment by Todster on 7 December 2007:
I think it is about success rate for guys. I am an Chinese American who speaks perfect English, Mandarin, and Tawanese. I am 5′11” 200 pounds and I can dance so I definitely don’t come across as what the stereotype says I should be. I don’t go out with girls as much as I like to but I definitely would say I have a better success rate with Asian girls over non Asian. Many of my male friends agree with me on the success rate thoery as well. I think the reason you see a lot of white guys with Asian women is because the white guys know his chances are better with an Asian woman. I don’t want to get into why that is but all I am saying is having confidence and all that is one thing but when a guy goes after a girl some calculation is involved, and the odds really favors the white boys when they are after Asian women.
Comment by Jake Lee on 13 December 2007:
The bottom line is - If you’re a good looking asian guy, and you’ve got the personality that goes along with it… You can get any girl you want be it white, black, asian, hispanic, etc.
GEEEEZ. And as a Chinese-Canadian I never thought my six incher was small?
-jake
Comment by josey on 13 December 2007:
LOL…Jake Lee, talk about honesty.
Comment by Charlie on 14 December 2007:
Hey, lucky Todster, you must be a charming guy.
There are not many Asian girls around me but I really like long black hair and bright black eyes.My friends recommended me to join some dating sites,like asianfriendfiner and cncupidc dot com/photo/romance. You know,I am welcomed in real life.But it doesn’t work online.I believe I am also a charming guy.(I am not blowing my own horn)Maybe I don’t quite understand Asian girls with their traditions and cultures.
Comment by Charlie on 14 December 2007:
My friends recommended me to join some dating sites,like asianfriendfiner and cncupid dot com/photo/romance. You know,I am welcomed in real life.But it doesn’t work online.I believe I am also a charming guy.(I am not blowing my own horn)Maybe I don’t quite understand Asian girls with their traditions and cultures.
Comment by lol on 18 December 2007:
lol, forget asian women the charlie, nothin special.
Comment by Deangelo on 20 December 2007:
I think it’s just a matter of time before you see just about every type of interracial dating. Hollywood and the media in general have always in a racist way stereotyped Asians, especially Asian men. Come on, when was the last time you saw an Asian man portrayed in a masculine sexy way in a movie, commercial, or ads. The American media, which is really the most powerful entity on earth (simply because they have the medium to influence social thoughts and attitude) have created this racist image of Asian men as being “too this or too that.” Always depicting asian men in really one of 4 roles. Either as some liquor store owner, computer geek, kung fu master or some weak and foreign geek. Almost never as an AMERICAN who speaks proper engRish like everyone else. If you are the public and you see these negative images over and over again, trust me it will affect how you view and perceive Asian men. You will never see women who live in Korea or Japan, talk about Asian men as being too short or too domineering or too unassertive. Are you trying to say that all Asian men are short, unassertive and not as masculine? It would be like saying all white men are child molesters or drunkards who go bald and look like 55 by the time they are 30, etc, etc. Or like saying all Latino men are lazy and beat their wives, or never have any money. Or like saying all black men are criminals and aren’t as intelligent as other men. Now if you saw these negative racist stereotypes of black men or white men or latino men over and over and over again in the media, don’t you think it would affect how you perceive them? Of course it would and there is no denying it. And as a matter of fact, the American media did consistently stereotype black men and women a while back as well (remember those “black exploitation films”). And it did have a huge impact on how blacks were perceived. But over the past 20 years or so if you’ve noticed, a lot of that has changed and hollywood along with other media entities have certainly improved the image of black people and it has definitely changed American attitudes and beliefs about black folks in general. Which is obviously the right thing to do. Asian Americans need an NAACP of their own to right the wrongs in American media racist culture and demand/protest against the constant & consistent negative racist depictions of Asian men. Just “google” or search for “Attractive Korean, Japanese, Chinese male actors” and see what you come up with. Or go visit Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan or China. And see what you find. If you just predominantly watched attractive korean or japanese male actors over and over again, I guarantee you it would influence how you think of asian men. Just in the same way the American media does with white men and portray them as the sex symbol (i.e. Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise). Look up guys like “Won Bin” (korean actor) and “Seven” (Korean musician) and many more.
Comment by Karen on 20 December 2007:
lol……….this you tube video is a joke. if you go out on a project to try to find a few girls who prefer to date other races and ask them the question, “why do you prefer white guys” of course you’re going to get negative feedback of asian guys!! HELLO! if i was to do a project and go out filming and edit my films to only include haters of white guys on my video, i can find em in just about every race!! for example, if i was video tape and to a 1000 interviews and only edit and show those who had negative stereotypes of white guys, i’m sure i can do a whole feature on it! also, it’s so funny how that one fat ugly girl says she probably wouldn’t date an asian guy. lol…….maybe an asian guy would never ask her out? maybe that’s why she has turned to white guys, because some white guys (not all) have this fetish for asian girls. And when you see a white guy and asian girl couple, its usually because the white guy pursued her and not the other way around. asian girls arent that bold for her to do the aggressive pursuing. i myself have been hit on so many times by white guys, it gets tiring. and i am not attracted to white men because they are too fat, too pasty lookin, too hairy, too egotistic, too lazy, too boring, too shallow, too unmotivated to succeed and much, much more……. ya see how absurd that sounds but these are stereotypes of white men.
Comment by Yap on 21 December 2007:
Setting the record, I don’t agree with the videos. I know many many of my Asian peers including myself have long tools. The thing is that ours are small when not using (easy to upkeep) and very long when in operation. So if any white girls out there thinks that the small is a problem, worry not because you will enjoy as much.
Personal experience, when I was in uni, I had few relationships with white girls and they were all amused with what I can do.
However we did not work out as I was brought up to ensure that I will look out for my parents. My white girlfriends wanted independence and does not like the idea of living with my folks. It was at that time that I happen to find another girl after I broke off and it happens that my Asian girlfriend (now my wife) accepts such a notion. In terms of family life that I have now- I have harmony. To be honest that was 15 years ago… and being in Singapore, it was also not easy to find Asian women who would like to live with folks.
Beside there were not many white girls around and most of my ex= left for home…
I am sure I would have found the right white girl if given the right time and situation.
Now Singapore is different, white, Asian or black does not matter- everyone has similar thinking and we widely accepts all cultures. I doubt I will find any lady who would be willing to live with my folks if I were to date at this current times.
Suppose this is the right time and age to have more inter racial integration, more understanding of each other, loving each other - regardless of race, language or religion.
I don’t know about the US or the rest of the world, at least in Singapore- we are trying to do that.
By the way the SIngapore pledge is:
We the citizen of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people, regardless of race, language or religion, to build a democratic society based on justice and equality so as achieve prosperity and happiness for our society.
So I like to welcome all inter-racial couples or couples to be to consider coming to live in Singapore. You will enjoy our diversity and acceptance with opportunity to feel and understand all types of cultures and religion.
Just to quote a famous man:
don’t care if it is a white or black cat, as long as it can catch mice, it is a good cat.
The man who says this happens to be Asian.
Same to men and women:
Don’t bother it is a white, Asian or black man or women, as long as he’ she can F and have children, takes care of family, lots of cash, caring responsible accountable and healthy- he/she is a good man/ woman.
Comment by mossimo on 22 December 2007:
Interesting comments one and all….
Comment by vtchick on 25 December 2007:
I’m interested in Asian guys. I find them to be attractive because they are generally well dressed, clean cut, friendly, real, funny, and respectful. What more could a girl want?
I’m seeing a chinese guy now but I have dated mostly korean men before because I lived there for 3 years. I never had an interest in asian guys before then because i always thought they were too shy and not outgoing enough. After being surrounded by asians and being immersed in the culture i realized this was a bit of a generalization. Although in america i still see a lot of asian guys who fit this stereotype. I don’t like any guys who take a defeatest, i’m a victim of society attitude. I reckon indian guys have a much harder time getting dates here.
Comment by idicus on 25 December 2007:
Ya’ll need to come to Texas, we have a large Asian population here!….and you will see Every race mixture dating in Austin,tx.
Ive dated 2 asian women ive meet and had one small relationship(1 year)….one was ALL about family and house…..the other? completely americanized…i notice with BOTH of them 1 thing
Comment by deeann on 26 December 2007:
idicus…what was the 1 thing?
Comment by M on 2 January 2008:
In response to vtchick-I’m an asian male, and it’s interesting you’re dating an asian man because of your experiences living in Asia, but I’m wondering, did you develop a fetish towards asian men? Do you feel like you have to date an asian man now since you were surrounded by them living in Asia? No offense but this sounds like an excuse to date an asian man. It is said that an individual can be easily attracted to someone because of their personality, common interest, proximity to each other, sharing responsibilities and respect towards one another, etc…and NOT just because of their race.
You’re right I’m sure there are asian guys that have a defeatist attitude, and guys from different ethnic backgrounds (like Indian guys you mentioned) finding difficult time getting dates. The problem is there are very few (if at all any) asian males in the western pop cultures where you see an asian man portrayed in a positive way (and the ones you see are usually shown in negative stereotypes). Shanghai Kiss film is one movie that I saw recently where the asian man actually has a lead role in an American movie, and yes he gets the girl….a white girl.
Comment by THE REALEST NIGGA EVVA on 5 January 2008:
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS.. THEM CATS FROM ALIEF, TX AREN’T YOUR AVERAGE CHING-CHANGS MANG!!!
THEY RAN THEM STREETS & DATED EVERY BUNNY YA CAN POSSIBLY THINK OF.. YES.. I SAID IT..
ALL YOU OTHER CORNY CHANGS FROM AROUND THE WAY NEEDS TO STEP UP & START REPPIN’ LIKE SOME REAL NIGGAZ!!!
529-G BABY!!! (THE COLDEST CATS EVER)
I THOUGHT I DONE TOLD YA.. ITS THAT BOY –> KINEE DOSIA
HA!
Comment by vt33 on 5 January 2008:
Take not to the comment above folks this is what happans when you don’t complete 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10, 11th, 12th grades.
Stay in school, because be stuiped is not cool!
Comment by mossimo on 5 January 2008:
This thread sure has wings
Comment by cruisins on 5 February 2008:
sorry but non-asian girls don’t have any interest towards asian guys. I see more asian girls now adays literally throwing themselves at toward white and even black guys
Comment by ethereal99 on 5 February 2008:
This is a tough one. actually, since the last blog, I’ve been having sex with a robot. Man, do we get stares at the Waffle House !!!!
Comment by David Tsai on 5 February 2008:
I’m Asian and dating a very attractiive brown girl, and this is what me, my GF and other asian men and non asins dating asian men have to say.
In the article it quotes asian women saying, Asian Men are not assertive? Too short?
lLet me tell you if we are assertive then we get called “angry asian men”.
Too short? well Yao Ming = one of the tallest NBA players, heck I’m only 5′9 and I’m taller than most white, brown, black people I know.
There is no winning but lets look at it this way…
Evey time me and my girl walk pass Asian girls, they get so jealious, looks like the tables have turned!
Comment by vt33 on 6 February 2008:
Finally found someone to do the spell check and the writing part of the blogs for you? Thats great, now lets see if we can work on the language and the etiquette part. Maybe they will let you enroll in Community College or perhaps a Online college.
Keep in mind, pimps like Hugh Heffener does it better. Cash ,Class and Ass, you have neither.
I don’t get how some of this stuff gets on the blog, yet more jibberish to dispose of..lol
Comment by vt33 on 7 February 2008:
to funny…lol
Comment by Glock on 7 February 2008:
I pitty whoever “dates” “THE REALIST”. To flaunt the fact that he values communication in this particular fasion is sad.
Comment by LH on 12 February 2008:
In Response to Yap:
Your response sounds like a Republic of
SINGAPOH government sponsored advertisement-an
excuse to parade the achievements of Singapore.
It totally goes off tangent towards the latter
half.
Comment by Tan on 12 February 2008:
In Response to Yap:
Your response sounds like a Republic of
SINGAPOH government sponsored advertisement-an
excuse to parade the achievements of Singapore.
It totally goes off tangent towards the latter
half.
Comment by mossimo on 12 February 2008:
Lol@ethereal….some of these topics are a little far out
Comment by be honest on 14 February 2008:
if you’re going to call him out on here & he turns around and kills you both like what a man does when he stomps on two cockroaches.. then at least have the decency to delete ALL of his comments.. we noticed how you only left his first one however, you got rid of his unprecedented & remarkable comebacks.. its understood evidently because you two girls couldn’t beat him fair & square.. at least have some kind of integrity when you approach The Real Deal.. HA!.. What a shame you two little pansies are!!! We should go tell your Mom how pathetic you two homos have been playing!!!
Comment by T-bone on 26 February 2008:
As a Chinese-American man married to a Jewish girl(Israeli no less), I’ll be the first to tell you that Asian men are generally not desirable by women, especially women of non-Asian race. These women who wrote how they are attracted to Asian men. Good for you but you are a minority.
My wife and I live in New York City, and we get stares all the time. People just assume we are not together or maybe just friends. Some will even go as far as avoid talking to me and speak her only. Let me tell you, I’ve seen it all. From neighbours to waiters…Very rarely I’ve encounter people who don’t approach us with some type of reaction.
Sometimes I see a fellow Asian men with a non-Asian woman, I feel like going over there to give him a high five. But I have even more respect for the woman. Because deep down I know, it takes an open-minded, mature and kind woman of non Asian background to go out with an Asian men.
I can’t say the same for Non-Asian men who go out with Asian woman. Sorry guys, it just doesn’t work this way.
Comment by SonicForge on 27 February 2008:
OK, now your guys are generalizing. This may be true in some cases but I think there is more to it then that. Anyways if you guys think that all Caucasian men date Asian women for the same reasons you are sadly mistaken. You know have you ever thought that maybe the culture itself or society has something to do with it. I don’t think it is so much as why Asian girls go for Caucasian guys.
I think it is why white guys have lost interest in white women. It has nothing to do with Asian women being more submissive as some people think as well.
It is more about respect and admiration for each other. Trust and companionship as well as being ones equal. I feel for some time now there has been a disconnect with Caucasian women. It always seems to be more about them then about each other. It is almost like they feel we owe them something. It is our responsibility to keep her happy and win her love. Why is it always the women’s feelings and never the feelings of the man.
I think Asian women tend to be more respectful and not as demanding. Not care as much about appearance as well as making the perfect man, enzyte anyone! Accepting him as he is!! Now I am not saying this is of all Caucasian women but I think there is a very large majority that do think this way. Society is somewhat to blame for this although. Men are supposed to be, well a MAN! We don’t have feelings and should just take it. We are all are just testosterone after all right? What possibility can a man have what a women can’t provide? This has typically been an American thing I think though as through my travels I didn’t find this to be the case as much elsewhere.
Anyways just because you see a Asian women with a Caucasian man don’t assume you know the reasons behind it. It would like be saying seeing a black guy with a white girl or a latin girl with a white guy. The ratio is really not all the different then other mixed relationships. Although we do tend to focus on that for various reasons. I have been dating an Asian girl for like 6 years now. You might find it surprising that we have never been in a fight and against popular belief she is HER OWN WOMEN!
Now you can call me yellow all you want. I have gone down the other path, believe me. I had spent over the last 31 years of my life doing so. I have dated many Caucasian women but none had worked out. Why is that that everyone automatically thinks that: Oh you are with an Asian girl! What’s wrong with you? What, we aren’t good enough for you? Hey, does she do your laundry? What does she have that I don’t, etc etc. They automatically get on the defensive without knowing the story behind it. We have demoralized so much as a society that nothing is treasured anymore. Reality TV clogging the airways. Polluting our minds and tearing apart everything that we were taught to respect. Yea, you can say it is only TV but is it?
The point is I don’t judge people by who they date or by first appearances. If someone is fat I don’t assume was because of overeating. If you are a nerd doesn’t mean your wear glasses and are unattractive. I am better then you just because I am rich. I will stab you in the back just because I can and misguide and disrespect you. If you give me enough money I will divorce my wife and take all the money!! Family is not important and I will make sure everyone else knows this as well. I can go on all day with this. This is Reality TV not reality.
So in closing in this first part. Whatever peoples reasons are for not accepting mixed relationships doesn’t really matter. Racism, indifference, acceptance, tolerance,tradition, religion, experience etc. Whatever you reasons may be not everything is in Black & White. Yea, so maybe i do date a Asian women and so what! I can’t think of a time I have been happier or enjoyed life so much. We respect each other and accept our differences. If the world is ever gonna chance for the better. We are going to need to get over our stupid differences. Otherwise the future likely won’t be a good one.
In part 2 I will cover what my experiences has been while living in Japan. This might partly explain why Asians go for Caucasian men at least from a foreign perspective. I look forward to it and I hope you guys don’t mind as it will make for an interesting read. I can’t really speak for Asian American women but likely are some similarities. ^_^
Comment by SonicForge on 27 February 2008:
Sorry for the long post I likely will just do in sections next time as will be easier to follow. Sorry bout that!
Comment by Anonymous on 29 February 2008:
I think the tide is changing due to increased media presence- offline (more asians in Survivor, Heroes, Lost, etc.) and online (Youtube- kevjumba, lipsynching chinese boys, winekone, etc.) of smart, funny, attractive, sexy, popular, successful Asian boys.
Comment by mary on 1 March 2008:
I’m all in favor of interracial dating, being a product of a healthy and happy multicultural home I consider diversity in relationships a good thing. I hope that both Asian men and women are finding partners who are right for them, regardless of race. The only thing that does give me pause is that there’s this tendency for minorities in all cultures to buy into the aesthetic ideal of the population amongst whom they live. I sincerely hope that this is not what’s happening and causing this phenomenon.
Comment by mary on 1 March 2008:
I meant to also add that I’ve met Asian men that I’m extremely attracted to. I don’t have racial preferences because I genuinely do look for what’s inside. The Asian men I’ve encountered have been extremely bright, well educated and well brought up. What’s not to like with that.
Comment by she is fly too on 11 March 2008:
if you all knew how fly The Realest was you guys wouldn’t talk mess about him period. a Legendary guy! A bit cocky but, theres just something special about him and his entire crew!
Comment by sheisflytoo on 11 March 2008:
if you all knew how fly The Realest was you guys wouldn’t talk mess about him period. a Legendary guy! A bit cocky but, theres just something special about him and his entire crew!
Comment by eastcoastgal on 16 March 2008:
I was beginning to give up on dating until a sweet young mediclal resident convinced me to go out with him. He is Asian and I am an Italian/white girl. At first, I have to admit I had reservations. However, he certainly seems to have his act together. I hope things work out, he seems like someone I would like in my life. He is well dressed, well mannered and has an excellent work ethic. Good luck finding that these days. Esp when you are dating in your early 40’s.
Comment by mossimo36 on 16 March 2008:
I just want to come out and admit the I am pro-interracial dating. Just for the record
Comment by harmony on 20 March 2008:
I am also a white american girl dating an asian man. Just as eastcoastgal posted - so many reasons why I hope this works out. He is more “together”, respectful, romantic, well dressed, and with an excellent work ethic… more than ANY American I have dated. It just seems that I have found a very rare amount of character that I have had such a hard time finding before. We do get a lot of looks. It is not pleasant. I hope people will get over differences and just look at how great it is that two people found love. And btw- He is very sexy - inside and out. Shy, short, etc… not my man.
Comment by RedRose on 21 March 2008:
I must say I hadn’t noticed any Asian male/White
female combinations rather a lot of White male/Asian
female combos. Guess that’s the way of the world -
is it important ?
Comment by onthethruway on 22 March 2008:
I am a wf married to a wm. The funny thing is, he is very attracted to Asian women and I am very attracted to Asian men! I’ve dated a few Asian men. They were very handsome, very nice and all together great to be with. My husband and I are very open to all people and all cultures. I have a Masters Degree in Asian Studies, speak some Chinese and Japanese and I have worked at a Korean company. My husband has studied various Asian martial arts and loves to read tradition Chinese and Japanese literature. What is my point? That we are all human beings. We need to grow up, get rid of our stereotypical views and get on with our lives. Who cares where you are from and what you look like. If things had become serious between me and the Korean guy I dated, I would have married him if he asked me. And believe me, lots of white guys I dated just wanted to date and not get married because of religious differences. I’ve never said “I won’t date a guy because he’s black, hispanic, etc.” That is an ignorant attitude that too many people have.
Good luck to everyone. I hope everybody finds their true love, no matter who they are.
Comment by Asian on 26 March 2008:
I am an east Asian. Let me say something that is very true, and that many Asians may not want to say.
Most Asians (excluding most Indians and Muslims) treat whites much better than they treat their own folks in their own countries. They have inferior complexity. They generally look down at blacks. They want their skin whiter. If given a choice, they would wish to be born white. Being white is a status to them.
A lot of those are carried over into America.
What I just said is the single most important cause of so many Asian females improportionally dating or being married to whites (but not to others).
Back in China, tens of thousands of Shanghai females have married to whites, even though the Chinese men there are much educated, civil, and less traditional (or less demanding on women to be more specifically). Shanghai people are the most westernized in China. Their foods have great influence from European cooking because of its semi-colonial history. In old times, many Shanghai people tended to use broken English to show off how much better they were than other Chinese. Many Asians just don’t love their own kinds (or even themselves) very much.
On the other hand, the West had viewed China (and most of Asia) as very backward. And much of the West’s racist or colonial history still has some significant effects in the western societies. Take US for an example, it was still a racist country officially 50 years ago. It wouldn’t be too hard for a white guy to sexually posses a female slave, 250 years ago. It wouldn’t be too hard for a white guy to have sexual contacts with black women. Then it wouldn’t be too hard for a white guy to get Asian girls. But if you switch the positions of white and the non-whites, it would be almost impossible even 40 years ago, in most places in US. Even today, many places are still very much racist or racially polarized. In many other places, racism can be more veiled.
Both sides decide the very unbalanced situations or outcomes.
So, I personally think that female whites who are married to non-whites are generally more respectable than many (if not most of) Asian females who are married to whites.
Comment by midnight shadow on 27 March 2008:
asian guys are not that short. they are pretty tall, if not as tall as northern european. it is so untrue that all white guys are tall. look at the greek, italian, spanish, etc. they are not tall.
asian guys are getting taller and taller due to better access to healthcare and nutrition. look at those chinese guys in shanghai and beijing. they are tall. some of them as taller than white american guys. i was in china, japan, thailand, india, and pakistan and i see tall asian guys everywhere. they are more moderninze nowaday. in the past, asian guys usually paid attention more into education and economic success and less on physical appearance. however, all these are changing today. they are more into good body fitnesse today. if you go to asia today, you will see nice and sexy muscular asian guys everywhere.
asian guys are not tall. the average height for japanese is 5′8″ and for chinese guys is 5′10″,. the average height for american is only 5′10″ which is the same as chinese. if we look at all the facts, we will see that there in nothing much in difference between asian guys and white guys.
in the future, i believe asian guys will get taller and bigger due to better access to healthcare, nutrition, and environmental changes.
Comment by midnight shadow on 27 March 2008:
this is in response to those asian girls who think asian guys are less masculine. i have to tell you that white guys in europe are alot more feminine than asian guys. they carry pauses and wear sissy clothing color. go to europe and you will find out the true. america is the only place on earth where guys try to be “macho man.” white guys in europe are just as feminine as asian guys from many parts of asia. don’t generalize every thing when you don’t know the truth. for example, guys in barcelona, spain, and berlin, germany are just as feminine as everybody else.
Comment by Janie on 27 March 2008:
What an interesting debate. I myself am the product, in a way, of a mixed-race family. My grandparents were Hispano/British, and when my grandmother came to live in Britain after the 2nd World War she was a rarity as a Spanish woman in England. Thankfully times have changed and hopefully happy and successful relationships can occur between any race. The world is becoming smaller! For the record I think what’s on the inside counts, but I don’t see why Asian men should be at a disadvantage, or that women of any race should prefer Caucasian men.
Comment by el on 3 April 2008:
bottom line-asian females see “white men” “running things”, so asian women have a burning desire to be with “those” who are running thing.
asian men SHOULD be upset.
all these asian females that date and marry white men are displaying just what whores they really are.
asian females should really be ashamed.
asian women are like the modern day “bed wench” for white men.
just sad.
Comment by Elearis on 7 April 2008:
I think the most important thing in any relationship is for two people to like each other. Perspectives differ from individual to individual depending on experience.
Personally, being a chinese guy, I was surprised at how I was first received by non-asian girls: Europeans and Americans, that is to say, many times better than how I have always been received by my “own-kind”. I dare say that I’m not ugly, and am fairly good looking. I’ve never met any whites aside from my relatives (yes, my family is happily married to western and northern Europeans, whose marriages/families seem to be doing better than my family married to locals) Whether this was mere coincidence or not, it’s true that there are jerks and nice people everywhere.
But then again, while there are asian girls (I will and can only speak about chinese Southeast Asian girls) who are happily married to white men (who in turn have settled down in Asia), most local girls prefer to date local, chinese men. IMO, it is a matter of culture - and differing ideals - that determine attraction. Physical appearances only play a secondary role when it comes to real relationships. In fact most of these whites men/asian women couples I’ve seen are short being physically attractive by any standard. Don’t get me wrong I’d take a pretty girl over an ugly one if I could help it! XD
Also IMO, the West tends to hold onto ideals that is traditionally perceived as illogical and/or impractical by Asians. Someone in this thread makes a point that Asian girls are more respectful and are more willing to “accept the man for who he is”. Which is true - because they respect the man who can provide for them and their families, as well as sexual contentment. About 90% of the males I know here expect their girls to be completely submissive to them. I’ve heard many remarks that reinforces this “ideal”: girls having too much freedom in the west, girls being both intellectually and physically inferior to men (and thus they should submit to the man by natural order), women-drivers being dangerous because of incompetence, women who speak their minds as being rude, how all men should have the right to have a wife and mistress(es), etc, etc… Atypical anti-machismo, contrary to the Youtube comments regarding their assertiveness
Whatever the case, if things continue the way it is, sadly the only happy outcome of my life in sight for me is to find, date and eventually marry a white girl. It’s not that I don’t want an Asian [Chinese] girlfriend, but only if they gave me a chance. The idea of inter-racial marriage, like trade, opens up opportunities and commodities to the world in hope that we find what suits us best.
Comment by kcrash on 24 April 2008:
I’m a Caucasian girl and am currently dating an Asian(Taiwanese) guy. The reason I’m dating him has nothing to do with his race. It’s his personality, his humor, his heart and our compatablity that makes me like him as much as I do. So far my boyfriend is the only guy I’ve ever met that has even come remotely close to the standards I set. I didn’t even think about the racial difference between us until about a month after we started dating. I guess I just don’t get why anybody would make a deal out of race.
The two people I get along with best, the two people that I have the most in common with are my best friend and my boyfriend. My best friend is African American and my boyfriend is Asian. It’s a mixture of races and until someone pointed it out to me, I didn’t even realize that it is an unusual mixture. It never even occurred to me that our race could be a problem or annoyance to anyone. I was just enjoying my time with two wonderful and diverse individuals who happen to bring a lot of knowledge, intelligence, culture and fun into my life. I think I would be very unhappy and at a serious loss if I had cut them out of my life based solely on their race. I learn a lot from both of them every day and would regret never having the opportunity to know them. I just don’t get why race is such a big deal with anyone.
Comment by 2ute4u on 24 April 2008:
kcrash, i absolutely adore you for not seeing color, but you must realize that America and some of Europe had enslaved African people for their free labour in order to make America what it is today;it was called “The Peculiar Institution” for a no. of reasons: black folks were relegated to chattel status,the women were raped and bred for their off springs, when they tried to escape, a medical term was coined for them, etc. it is peculiar because of the inherent contradictions in the system.American racism is unique because it is always purporting differences based on superficiality, because when a black and white person get together, a beautiful human comes out of the union, now say if two different cats get together and mate ,like a lion and a tiger, which actually did happen not too long ago,still produced a cat/feline. My point is at the heart of it all, the offspring is still a feline,with 50/50 DNA of each parent.Please remember too that the so called RACE/RACISM is a profitable commodity.IT garners a lot of moment the media resurrects it. If you can shirk off what the outside world thinks ,you’ll be okay,and when you close your door at night ,remember ,it isn’t anyone of them you are coming home to,but the one whose opinion matters to you the most. One last thing, when we die our bodies all return to dust,the same color. I hope this will help ,I know it was too long.
Comment by kcrash on 25 April 2008:
I do realize that there was slavery and there are a no. of reasons for racism, I’m not an idiot. I do understand why racism exists and why some people can’t look past the looks or culture of an individual. I’m just saying, “Can’t we all just get along?” I know it’s not possible and with the given histories of the world we live in, race is still and will be a major issue for years if not centuries to come. I’m just saying I personally don’t have a problem with it, and I wish other people would be the same. It would make the world a much better place if they could.
Comment by AA Patriot on 3 May 2008:
Growing up in an immigrant East Asian family, I agree with Asian’s comment dated March 26: “Most Asians (excluding most Indians and Muslims) treat whites much better than they treat their own folks in their own countries. They have inferior complexity. They generally look down at blacks. They want their skin whiter. If given a choice, they would wish to be born white. Being white is a status to them.”
I think most children of non-white, non-European immigrant parents can relate to this. For example, how do their parents typically refer to white folks? They call them “Americans” and they call their own ethnicities per the country of origin (i.e. Chinese, Indian, etc.), implying they are foreigners…it’s very subtle. This holds true even after they’ve lived here for decades! For many of these US immigrants, “America” is synonymous with the ideal life and white folks (caucasians) are synonymous with “America.” Therefore, to these immigrants, they subconsciously draw the conclusion that American whiteness embodies the ideal that they should strive to achieve.
Yes, many immigrant Asians do have an inferiority complex. What’s sad is that they do not take political and cultural ownership of their newly adopted homelands as non-whites, which becomes their right as American citizens, and work to define a new America. And it’s really the first and second generation children that suffer. In the home, these children grow up with the message that they’re [fill in the blank] ethnicity, inferior to white society. All the while they’re developing a very American identity outside the home. Let this simmer into early adulthood and you end up with an identity crisis or conflict once that person enters the world as an independent adult.
Some come to terms with it and move on with life. Unfortunately, there are also others who won’t acknowledge this internal conflict and never find peace. They continue seeing their non-white skin color as a curse and go through life seeking this false idyllic vision of the perfect life embodied in the fictional/idealized/romanticized white America, and Hollywood. (I’m not implying that associating with caucasians means self-loathing.)
Anyway, I hope this sheds some light on 1, 1.5, and 2 generation AA psychology.
If an AF married a WM for his character/personality/intelligence/etc., that’s fine. But I think it would be VERY naive to think race is never a factor in these arrangements. I think many of these AF have unresolved identity issues as mentioned above.
I find it amusing when young Asian and Asian AMERICAN females flock to and fawn over an average WM with an average education, average looks, is slightly overweight, etc. Especially when there are highly educated, handsome, athletic, assertive, successful, kind, considerate, and MASCULINE (not American hyper macho) AA men they won’t even give the time of day to associate with.
Maybe one reason you’re seeing more AMs marrying outside their own ethnicity is because they’re being shunned by AFs. And the lack of available AFs since so many are marrying WMs.
I think intelligent and educated black men and women have it worse, though.
A little background on me. Immigrant Asian parents, spent early years here in near poverty, grew up in a black neighborhood, went to a prestigious military academy, commissioned as an officer, served/continue to serve in the US military with several overseas tours including Iraq, two master’s degrees and a good job. Experienced prejudice and discrimination during my assignments outside California but mostly in the civilian communities and not the military. Dealt with stupid questions like “Are you in the Chinese military?” when my uniform is in English with a big U.S. on it and being asked by my military co-workers when I was going “home” to Asia. Some of the best people I’ve served with in the military were black.
One of the women I had the most respect for was white. She came from a poor family but was very hard working. And she had inner beauty in addition to being physically beautiful. She died in a car accident. I have met few women in life like her, regardless of ethnicity. Yes, I would consider marrying a white woman like her.
Comment by josh on 3 May 2008:
I’m Asian, and I only date Asian women. White women are unstable, and immature. I’ve been with three good-looking white women, and now that I look back at it, I wish I hadn’t.
Comment by elearis on 3 May 2008:
kcrash: You read my mind. Unfortunately simple logic seems to be the most perplexing thing to understand in the universe lol.
Comment by thatchinaboi on 6 May 2008:
For me, physical attraction at the most basic level comes down to genetic selection and dna pairings. Naturally, people tend to be less attracted to people that look like they could be their brother or sister! At another level, attraction is ruled by culture and society. Asian men in America have always gotten the shortest end of the stick, so-to-speak. From prejudices, to laws, to media; we have been beaten down and belittled. For instance, the very popular myth about Asian men having small penises. If you believe this blindly, you are truely ignorant, ’nuff said.
Comment by Nick on 14 May 2008:
I’m a Japanese Filipino guy and I’m 5′9″ 19 years old and I am not a push over at all. Though I do have troubles finding a girl and I am almost definitely sure it is because of two things: I can’t pull the courage to ask a girl out and I’m usually with a group of friends, making it harder for me to approach women and vice versa. I see all my asian friends, all of which have different personalities and physical features, and how they are in relationships and in all honesty I believe they make excellent boyfriends. They take their girlfriends out, spend lots of time with them, they are intimate with them. Their girlfriends, who are of various races, are happy with them. I am in no way saying that Caucasians or African Americans or Hispanic men treat their partner with disrespect or with negligence, all I am saying is that Asian men aren’t always the cold hearted and timid people that they are said to be.
Also you can’t just say that women don’t like us because we all have small penises because I know that it would be extremely dumb for women to assume that we are small and instantly reject us riiiiiight??? Unless women have x-ray vision how would they know? I mean if they slept with over ten asian guys every year and measured them all and they all came up short then I would understand. Also I have a 7.25 inch penis and I never thought it was small just got upset when people would assume that it was small.
In the end, I just say that some women like asians, some don’t… It’s not wrong for them to choose who they like better. But maybe we should show them that we are worth the time huh? Screw the nervousness crap and go out there and find someone because a lot of women like men with initiative. We can do both right? Be kind but take initiative and if you don’t succeed try and try again because once we find the person we love and we sit and talk with them or do anything with them, they don’t see us as just a stereotype, but as the one they love back. And no matter what race, if they are happy, then so can anyone else because there are far too many people in the world to all follow a trend.
I don’t believe race has a whole lot to do with it; however, it might be personality, we all should ignore all the negative things being said and not let it affect our confidence.
Comment by DK on 27 May 2008:
this is such bullshit
i am asian, specifically korean
i’m not trying to be cocky, i’m just stating the facts
first of all, i’m 6′1” and i’m 16
and i have broad shoulders (not to forget my pecks and abs), even to compared
to my black, white, hispanic classmates
i play varsity football, hockey, and baseball
and lastly, i have a 7 inch dick, no lie
basically i contradict everything that the
fat ass ugly asian bitch (there’s only one in the vid) said about asian men.
and you know what, there are more and more asians
who are considered big and tall nowadays (6′0” +)
the stereotype that asians are small used to be true not only because of genetics, but also because of
nutrition and habits (such as playing sports)
and what’s more is as much as there are small asian
penises, there are as many small white penises
the averages of white men and asian men are actually similar; however, asian men don’t diverge from the average that much as white men do.
Actually i don’t have a problem with any of the things the other girls in the vid said, but what the only ugly fatass bitch really pissed me off,
because before she makes such statements, i personally think she could reflect on herself and her standards in relation to herself, because i really don’t think any man of any race
would consider her attractive.
long story short, i may be asian but i’m a boss because i get girls of any race, whether they be white, black, hispanic, or asian.
Comment by jewel65 on 28 May 2008:
I’m a English wf and my husband is Japanese. We were physically attracted to each other and we got on really well, like best friends. I learnt Japanese, so I could speak with his family, and understand more of the whole culture which I knew nothing about before. We had great sex nearly every night, (the stereotype of Asian men being small down there is bullshit!) We had two beautiful intelligent mixed-race children, and I put all my effort in to being a great wife, lover and mother. And then, after 10 very happy years, he left me for some other white bitch who happened to have a lot more money than me. This just goes to show that race has absolutely nothing to do with anything, all humans have the potential to fall in love, fall out of love, betray the person closest to them.
In the words of Paul Robeson, “Beneath the accident of race and culture lies the soul of man”….
Comment by Pebbles on 9 June 2008:
I an dating a Asian-American guy and I am a white female. We’re together because of how very compatible we are, and I love him for being such a wonderful person. We’re better for each other than anyone else I’ve ever dated. It’s hard sometimes not fitting in with his family like I’d like to- not being a part of their Chinese culture and standing out in family photos- but we’re working on that together. Being white, I’ve never had to deal with race on a personal level until now. Sometimes I detect stares and disapproval, or just mild curiosity that’s still hard to deal with sometimes. Now I understand better what minorities deal with in American society. When I see another interracial couple walk by, I feel accepted and want to give them a high five. Thinking about race and being conscious of it is a real head trip for me. It’s hard being so aware of it and I wish I could be as strong about ignoring it as some of the other people in this forum seem to be. I’m trying to learn how. I worry that our kids will struggle more than they would if they could easily fit into a category, but I’m hoping we could give them the kind of foundation they’d need so that they wouldn’t be bothered. He’s an incredible man and treats me better than anyone else ever has, and I’m sure every Asian girl with any smarts secretly thinks he shouldn’t be with me but with an Asian girl. Heck, I think most girls would wish they could be with him, race aside. There’s no way I could ever stereotype him. He breaks all molds. He deals with race like a pro, but I’m more of a novice. Don’t hate me for my “white privilege” of not having to deal with race much until now… just being honest.
Comment by mossimo36 on 10 June 2008:
Interesting thread so far.
Comment by Nandi on 10 June 2008:
Wow, too funny to take seriously or honestly…However, I think Asian women do not think or wish it at all….Afterall, they tend to date and marry outside their race moreso than their male counterparts..
Perhaps it is something else….
Comment by King on 11 June 2008:
this is all rubbish i think that asain woman are hot and easy to pull whereas asian males are too busy practising ther kung foo i have a dream that one day we will all get along
Comment by George Chell on 23 June 2008:
You people might like these stories…
http://newsblogs.chicagotribune.com/race/2008/06/interracial-mar.html
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=82eef069-9da1-4953-943a-a51c6613d0aa
Strange most of the white women/Asian men couples seem to have only daughters…and many of them tend to be super smart!
Comment by John on 26 June 2008:
I can’t speak for every asian race, but I know that in Korean society, Korean women look for money. Since I live in New York, where many investment bankers and lawyers live, many Korean girls date these men. I’ve seen many facets of Korean women. They go out with a guy for the money and cheat on him with some other guy she’s interested in. I have many Caucasian friends to which this has happened. Also, there are a huge amount of Korean women who work in the escort service industry in New York. Since they refuse to “service” a Korean guy, which can be easily seen by the last name of the caller, they end up meeting mostly Caucasian men. I frequent bars and clubs, both Korean and American, and recognize that a vast majority of the Korean women who hang out there are “room salon” girls. Room Salon girls are not prostitutes but they are subjected to being handled and fondled by their clients. They shy away from the Korean community because they are afraid that someone will recognize them as such and don’t want to be involved in the Korean scene.
Also, there is an unwritten prejudice against Asian men in the night life scene in New York. They let Asian women into the clubs and lounges but unless the asian man is willing to buy a table for around $1000-$2000 they are denied access. I’m lucky since I know many promoters in the scene so I can get into these clubs but I still get hassled by hosts and bouncers with the announcement of the private party routine, even if I’m with 2-4 girls and I’m the only guy with them. I even had a friend who knows a big party promoter at one the hottest spots in Manhattan and the guy told my friend (who later told me), next time don’t bring the asian guy or send him home now and you can get in.
Because of these types of situations asian men don’t have the same opportunities of meeting caucasian women unless it’s at the local bar. Since asian women are admitted readily into these types of places, obviously they meet all caucasian men and the odd 1 or 2 asian man. But since these asian men come with women, it’s hard for them to venture out and meet other women in these clubs. Try going to a New York club as 2 or more asian men and you’d most likely be denied entry unless you are willing to cough up that grand or two.
Comment by Ramen on 14 July 2008:
I am an east Asian. Let me say something that is very true, and that many Asians may not want to say.
Most Asians (excluding most Indians and Muslims) treat whites much better than they treat their own folks in their own countries. They have inferior complexity.
Please,speak for yourself. Maybe this is true in Chinese culture but certainly NOT true in Korean culture. Among Asians Koreans are perhaps most nationalistic.
We don’t hold whites on a pedestal. Japanese are famous for that.No offense but most self loathing Asians tends to be Chinese. I’ve come across more ChineseAmericans with such low self esteem here.
Most Korean parents wouldn’t want their sons to marry non Korean girls. But this is changing as well. I’ve noticed more Asian American men dating and married to white women here on the east coast (New York, Philly,DC)I tend to pay attention to such things since I’ve been married.
Matter of fact, at one point in a small park in Philly my wife and I counted no less than three couples like us with kids. I was really surprised,usually its WM/AF couple.
I think more and more younger Asian American guys realize they shouldn’t be bound by their cultural traditions anymore.
Comment by kazy on 27 July 2008:
Im a asian dude living in nyc and let me tell you alot of white chix check me out.. its obvious they do double takes and smile at me and all that but honestly i only date asian women.. i have big azz eyes and chizled face and nice nose.. sometimes people say i look mixed but im 100% taiwanese.. i guess my point is if you look like a fob you aint gonna get no attention from non-asians.. and dont grow your hear out.. clean cut that thing…
Comment by Patti on 31 July 2008:
I happened upon this site researching a related topic and found the comments interesting. I gather that I am WAY older than most of you so I can say with ease that I’ve “been there and done that” long before many of you were born.
I have never thought that the color of one’s skin determined the way of the heart .. and in saying that if you truly love someone you make it work — I have for 29 years and counting! Love (and in my case) does conquer all — and trust me I’ve been on the receiving end of some nasty racist comments in the early years of our marriage (I’m White and my husband is Filipino).
As a point of interest, if you aren’t familiar with the story of Mr. & Mrs. Loving perhaps you might enjoy this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia
Comment by Nandi on 31 July 2008:
Patti…Great Post!!!, and you are right in a nutshell you can make anything work, if the love and commitment to each other is there…You can become an example, rather than a failed statistic or giving into racism of any kind..Much like the Lovings, who certainly had more issues to deal with than any interracial couple of today will ever face.
Thanks for your post!!
Comment by Patti on 2 August 2008:
Thanks Nandi!
It was 1967 (the “summer of love”) when the Supreme Court ruled that the Miscegenation Laws (which were instituted in the 1600’s) were unconstitutional .. 12 years later when my husband and I married it was still a subject that enraged many.
Time revolves s-l-o-w-l-y and, more often than not, it takes years to come to terms with change. Worldwide, however, interracial relationships (other than the main topic of this blog) have quite a long history. Prior to Loving v. Virginia (1967) there was Pace v. Alabama (1893) and McLaughlin v. Florida (1964). In another part of the world, miscegenation was just one of several charges leveled against Jose P. Rizal which ultimately led to his execution in 1896 in the Philippines (re: Josephine Bracken). Other interracial relationships predominate in history include the marriage of John Rolfe to Pocahontas, Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings, and, centuries before them, the relationship between Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony just to name a few!
Comment by Asianman on 24 August 2008:
I am an Asian guy, and I find that stereotypes fuel the interracial disparity more often so from the Asian girl-white guy side.
I’ve met Asian guys dating white girls and they actually talk like normal people. But when I meet Asian girls dating white guys, seems like 80% of the time the Asian girl is putting on some kind of front. like they can’t just chill.
I find talking to both American Asian and white girls different than talking to European girls. Often talking to girls in the US, I find that you can get the “nice conversation” with white and Asian girls in the US, but often it’s as far as you’ll get. However, in Europe, I find the girls a lot warmer to Asian guys in general because there are no prejudices there. Plus, European women are a lot more fit. So, if you Asian guys aren’t happy with your dating life in the US/Canada/anglophone country, try the rest of Europe. Avoid Portugal, Spain and Greece, girls don’t dig us there much.
Try France, Germany, Eastern Europe and you’ll be amazed.
Comment by Another P*ssd off Asian man on 24 August 2008:
I am from Europe! No way man! As you can tell i am a asian male living in the UK! I can tell you there is no mixing go on in the UK! Buts its the same story with White men and Asian women! Too many and it never stops! They like you because you are an American which is exotic to european, even english women have a Americanphile fetish! If you lived in Europe or in the UK long enough the local whites stay away from the asian population or BBC(British Born Chinese) males population!! If i moved to America with a British accent, do you think i have a better chance of success! Its because i wud be exotic!
Comment by The Olympic Games: Postive Media Representation on 24 August 2008:
Postive Media of Asian/Chinese People in the Olympics, which can have a added benefit to both portral of both sexes and all asian races. Moreover, an additional reason may be that there has been predication that in the forseeable future of china being the next economic and miltary superpower highlighted in the media, which means more attention have been paid to the imminent threat of the yellow perils by whites, and its ability to match that or even destroy America.
Comment by Real Deal on 27 August 2008:
It is the media and entertainment industry. Years ago Jewish men were considered to be very ugly, but they keep trying to paint themselves in a very good light (such as pairing guys like Adam Sandler, Woody Allen, and Jerry Seinfeld with good looking women). This then influences the public.
Comment by Its all gravy on 31 August 2008:
Hey Real Deal,
Jews been running Hollywood since its birth. Who founded these movie studios in Hollywood,such as, Warner Bros, Goldwyn Meyer,Fox, etc. How else can you explain such dorky swarmy actors like Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller becoming leading actors?? Of course, they’re going to paint themselves in very positive light while sterotying minorities. Hollywood has the greatest impact around the world than any other external factor when shaping ones’ perception. Unfortunately, many self loathing Asian women believe these sterotypes as well they cling on to any white guy they see. These women can’t stand the sight of their reflection staring right back at them. Sadly these women tend to be nocturnal and rid of themselves with any mirror in their homes as well
Thus, in order to deflect their “asianess” they chim in on Asian male bashing as well, in their delusion minds that way they’ll be more accepted by their Asianphile white admirers.
So I think we Asian American brethen should look more and more outside of our race or ethnicities to find quality life partners,as I did. LOL!
I myself, a son of an old fashion Korean parents, have always marched to a different drum so I never had any problems dating women of different races as more Asian American men are doing as well. According to 2006 US Census, 40% Korean American men either born or raised in US since early age are married to white women. And they say we can’t get laid :p Its usually the recent immigrants who don’t date out.
And availability of European women as someone mentioned, moi being a social butterfly and globtrotting (on a budget) single male, used to dated many European women ,here and abroad, in general I find European women to be more cultured and less materialistic compared to their American counterparts. If you’re an Asian guy in Europe born or raised and can’t hook up, you’re hopeless and should consider mail order brides.
Bon chance.
Comment by lord of the flies on 4 September 2008:
Asia? thats a big continent, you people have left out the interesting
cultures of the north, like Turkey, Kazakh, Mongolia.which have asian white mixed people from hundreds of yrs ago, since Genghis Khan,or further back! NOT NEW CONCEPT “THIS WHITE ASIAN THING” MOST TRIBE FROM FROM COLUMBIA AND NORTH AMERICAN INDIAN ARE KNOWN TO HAVE MONGOLIAN GENES.
Comment by pathfound on 22 September 2008:
Chinese men are sexy…
I’m married to one (and he’s from China too). He’s dynamic and he’s a firecracker.
I’m caucasian.
It’s beautiful.
And he’ll be a great father– I know.
and btw, Chinese men don’t have tiny penises. Why do non-Chinese men always say that? I’d like to ask them one question:
How do you know?
Comment by drew on 27 September 2008:
This is normally taboo but there are practical reasons why “some” asians marry white males. To have a more better lookings kids. Some filipinos do that, to have that meztiso look. It is rather superficial. Of course nobody wants to admit it. But luckily for asian men, not all are supercificially picky. I do admire mostly Latinas dont stoop down like this. There is nothing wrong with hooking up with white men. I don’t blame them, but I blame directly when a filipina strictly say to herself I only want a white guy, and no other race, that is very close minded in this century, ( u know who u are ), I dated a white woman, black, asian, latin coz there is a reason nature created different races, for variety. And it must be welcomed.
Comment by Latina on 29 September 2008:
I’m latin, not mexican but from South America.
I’ve heard caucasian men dates Asians because they are obedient….is that true? I also heard caucasian men date Latinas because we take crap that caucasian women don’t.
I’m not putting anyone down….I just want to know if this is how you guys really feel?
Comment by crutin on 10 October 2008:
CRUISINS WATCHING TOO MANY HOLLYWOOD MOVIES. KARATE KID IS FICTION GET OVER IT. ASIAN WOMEN PREFER ASIAN MEN LOL.
I think Latina is correct. In various internet sites, Latinas and Asian women are advertised as meek.
Comment by lazy on 11 October 2008:
since when did the word asian mean “yellow?” lol did the asian continent get hit by a jaundice epidemic that i missed? good thing i didn’t get infected otherwise i’d be “yellow” too. whew.. the question asked was: why are asian men & white women couples more common lately. the answer simply is the ppl’s increased sex drives or ppl being more horny now than ever(to simplify for the wannabe gangstas here.) with the invention of the interweb and the proliferation of affordable high-speed online services and the ubiquitous porn materials it’s inevitable. we all know that even kids as young as 7 or 8yrs old can watch porn w/o much effort if left unsupervised nowadays. when ppl get horny they wanna hook up w/more women no matter their race to satisfy their urges: simple as that. i go out w/white chix coz they’re around, many of them whom i’ve met, @least where i live and work, fit my standard of beauty and fitness and i just wanna have sex some more. i don’t care if they’re dumb or not funny or any of that crap like most ppl who try to project a false sense of humanistic character trait or to be politically correct bullshite like that. i don’t do that crap. i go out w/women if they’re attractive and not fat w/o regards to their character and intellect coz i wanna have sex w/them. it’s that simple. that’s just to give a different perspective on why another non-”yellow” asian guy like me going out w/a white chic. if i have to use the word prefer then i’d prefer to go out w/an asian chic preferable not “yellow” but if she happens to be one then hopefully she tans easily, maintains the tan for a long time and doesn’t peel when they lose the tan. oh ya she has to be no less than 5′4 w/an appropriate BMI, no less than a B cup, have light brown or even pinkish hued nipples, non-roast beef looking vag, not flat footed, don’t have webbed feet/hands, narrow and tiny navel, no paunch, have a good waistline, no tats, no xtra piercings besides the ears, short jet-black-shiny-good bodied hair, no unibrow, porcelain complexion (meaning impervious to pimples, zits & acnes coz i’ll take care of that part haha), not buck-toothed fairly even white teeth, soft skinned, multi-orgasmic, can squirt or willing to be able to do so, can match my horniness, doesn’t talke like a valley girl or a wannabe gansta yo, and of course rich–preferably filthy rich but just rich would be good enough. btw b4 ye call bullshite on me, my ex whom i parted with 3mos ago is a gorgeous blonde who’s dad is a highly respected brain surgeon in beverly hills who also gave her a porsche carrera gt when she got accepted into stanford med school. so bullshite on me, a lazy non-”yellow” asian bum who drives a beat up pick-up truck and wear flip flops all the time that i got a damn thong tan lines on my feet fool. fob all the way i always say. i guess there’s no inferiority complex here or maybe there’s too much that women like my ex became disoriented and took pity on me trying to make me into a human @least americanized; or maybe she wants to make herself feel better by thinking that she’s doing something good for some1 else besides herself. i digress…
gotdamn insomnia. made me waste time getting carpal tunnel for this shite. fooken eh
Comment by yo on 14 October 2008:
I think it all has to do with how you perceive in the world. If you grew up with a lot of mixed races, you will be comfortable dating someone outside your race. Unfortunately, there are still some places in the U.S. where racial prejudice is very high!
Comment by ansitruda on 18 October 2008:
I am a white woman, and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for men from the Far East (China, Japan, Korea). I love the smooth skin, jet black hair, the dark, almond eyes the high cheek bones and those beautiful, full lips….it is sad that my white co-workers think I’m crazy. I don’t like working for haters and bigots, but it pays the bills. I just wish the rest of the world would wake up and smell the coffee. We are all humans. Sometimes we forget that.
Comment by harold on 30 October 2008:
I’ve dated, white, black, Hispanics, and middle easterners. I don’t date asian women because I’ve heard men who are married to asian women have higher risks of heart attack/stroke by 20%. Have you heard an asian woman scream, finding out how you bought an engagement ring from Wal-Mart? I can imagine it sounds something like a pig burning alive in rubber tires being drowned under water at the same time.
peace out.
Comment by Buddie on 4 November 2008:
Yeah… it does not matter how the couples should look like and we are live in the modern world now. The racism period had gone. We should live in peace. Anyone can be with anyone! Black with White, White with Black, Asian with Black, Black with Asian, Brown with Black, Brown with Asian, who cares???
all i know it is the look of love
Comment by April Ann on 6 November 2008:
It would be hard if my one of my Parents married an American man or women. It’s hard for me to be mixed race but I don’t look Spanish Chinese Filipino. I should be proud of my heritage even though I don’t have an American Mother.
Comment by Beo on 12 November 2008:
white dudes end up with ugly asian women that asian men don’t want. that’s the true!
Comment by Beo on 12 November 2008:
white dudes end up with ug