Being single is fun? That’s the impression we single people love to give. We want so much to prove the happily dating and married that we can do better without some ‘trivial’ attachment to another individual. But to be honest, from the running around scouting for a date to take to Jane’s wedding, to doing things better just to prove that we truly are BETTER off single, to those ‘mistakes’ we take home and sleep with every other weekend thinking “he/she is the one”, to the lonely wine guzzling moments in the dark that make you so sick in the morning, being single is life draining! It’s no wonder Kim Kardashian got “sick” of it at some point. It never comes as a shock to me when people say “he/she died of a lonely heart”.
Enough with my dramatics.
In an article “Sick Of Your Single Life?”, Echo Allen – Berning, an international speaker on relationships and dating, talks about her new book entitled “Date To Attract Your Mate” where she highlights how the likes of me (singles that is) repel our perfects mates right out of our lives with our energy. To be honest, sometimes I feel like I work too hard to make men run away from my life when I look back on how a date went.
Anyway, she gives this very simple yet inspiring analogy of a seed:
Think of each person on the planet as a seed, which is planted … needs water and nutrients to grow into a wonderful fruit tree. However, when water and sunlight are missing, the tree may grow damaged fruits and possibly die. In the area of love, our nutrients consist of surrounding ourselves in loving, peaceful, nurturing environments. This means eliminating all negative people, places and circumstances out of your life. It also may mean not sharing with the world that you are seeking to attract your life partner. It also means speaking into existence actually what it is you desire in life. You’ll want to begin practicing speaking out loud to yourself exactly what you want as if it is already done … “I am attracting a wonderful life partner/wife or husband who is in alignment with my values, dreams and goals.” Speaking it out loud and then creating a feeling tone knowing that what you desire has already manifested is the other side on the equation.
The thing is, if you are looking for a woman who possesses particular values, then you got to make changes in your life, adopt those values in order to be able to attract a woman with such values. Echo gives a few steps which can help singles stop repelling the partners they are meant to be with:
- “Reinvent Yourself”
By this she means re-assessing yourself in general: your looks, your words, your behavior – and this includes talents, gifts and hobbies. And settling for less is out of the question. “It’s about obtaining clarity, stillness and a willingness to be alone for the rest of your life rather than to settle for someone less than your highest desire”, she says. Its all about creating the life you want and love, with the one you love.
- “Take an Assessment”
Here, she suggests looking at the kind of relationship you want and be willing to do all that is necessary to attract and achieve it. Here, you assess whether you are willing to give up some of the things that make those perfect mates run away and incorporating those things that will make you irresistible to that perfect mate.
Well, in this case she doesn’t mean you change who you are. “… itʼs about expanding who you are and opening up to newer possibilities. It’s about being worthy enough to receive the love you desire and to give it in return.” It is all about reexamining yourself. See, if you are looking for a good man, then it means being good is the core of who you are. So in this case, you make the necessary adjustments in your life; “…make newer choices and are more in alignment with the core of whom [you] are.”
- “Be Willing to Take Action”
Action=Results. The big question is: Are you willing to do, be and have all those things that will make that perfect match recognize you as the one? Are you willing to listen to the universe, follow your instincts and ACT? It took Echo 2 years, 5 dating sites and 102 men to attract her husband. On the other hand, her husband was also going through a similar process off redefining himself and what he truly wanted for a wife. And their actions is what brought them together eventually.
How sick are you of that single life? Are you sick enough to spring into action whenever the universe snaps its fingers just so you can meet that one person you so desire to be with? Are you sick enough to do all takes? Its not as easy as it seems and Echo admits it saying in her journey to finding her husband, “There was a lot of work, a lot of tears and now a lot of joy!”
If you are as sick as I am of being single, forget focusing on the hustle of meeting the one. Don’t settle for less coz if you ask me, I believe patience is one of the values you need to have in order for all the pieces to fall in place. It’s all about having your eyes on the price, ignoring the tears, focusing on the joy that will come and ACTING ACCORDINGLY. Then you will see magnetism at work!