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Interracial dating: We lost another one to the others

Posted by Ria, 11 Jan

"…some of the black men… that applaud and encourage ALL interracial and NONDATING of black women think he’s a GREAT ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNG BLACK BOYS! Show them they can be standup guys, highly educated, smart and educated and that if their “romantic preference” is someone that DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THEIR MOTHER, SISTER OR AUNTIE, then hey, EVEN BETTER!!!!

THIS is what we want to teach our black boys, huh??? NO THANKS!!!" - Comment on SingleBlackMale.org (SBM)

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Of course that was a reaction to some black male celebrity (Robert Griffin III) and his white fiancee. Just the other day, co-author, "Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed" Christelyn Karazin wrote about Black women hating on Michael Ealy for marrying a non-black woman. It was the case of 'we lost another successful black man to the others' ; 'another one tosses black women aside'.

Why do people care so much about other people’s dating preferences; especially where race is concerned? People always try to figure out why some people date outside their race… why their dating preference isn't their own skin color. "They must be brainwashed!" "This always happens when they get money and become successful!", we might say. But honestly speaking, there is nothing about someone’s natural dating preference to warrants some sociological case study. Its just that! PREFERENCE! Why can't people just accept that that's that?

We sooo badly wan't equality yet for some reason, we have forgotten what equality is all about. We want equality for all races yet when it comes to dating, we have a different definition for it; we bring superiority and inferiority of races into it. That black men date white women because white is more beautiful. :roll: We need to just let other people be; let them date who they want. The worst thing is that some people make other people’s dating their business to the extent of throwing tantrums when a man marries a fair skinned woman within their own race. So s(he) is fair skinned.? Are all men and women supposed to stay away from her to avoid the scornful mouth of society? Is s(he) supposed to be punished for it by staying single; or forced to date within their fair-skinned pool?

Just because one man or woman decided to marry or date out, has got nothing to do with him or her abandoning his/her entire racial group. It’s his preference. FULL STOP!

To use the words of Streetz of SBM, “Who hurt you”? Are there experiences you have had in your life that have make you so livid when your race or skin color is not someone’s dating preference? What’s even worse is: we rant about men and women whom we might die even before we ever get the chance to be 3 feet away from them; celebrities! Or did s(he) date you once-upon-a-time the dumped you for "the others"?

This misplaced anger at celebs and/or people in your neighborhood and their love lives: TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!!! It’s shallow! Maybe that’s the reason why they are not interested in you in the first place! You need to exercise your own dating options. You can also date out and let others blog about it!

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6 responses to "Interracial dating: We lost another one to the others"

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  1.   AzureSeas says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 13

    Why can't people like/love people whom they like/love for whatever reason is important to themselves. As long as their thoughts and intentions are good and noble anyone should be able to choose as they please. Critics come up with a myriad of reasons as to why one person or another should or should'nt do as they please in any endeavour in life, including dating. But isn't it then the critic that may have the problem and not the subject and that in fact the "problem" may be in fact due to the critic's own "reasoned" bias no matter how convolutely or even rightously obtained. Very learned critics bring up what they hold on to as being completely rational, logical scientific and even historically based reasons why people should do what the critics rationalize that they should do. In the right corridors and contexts the logic should be revered and listened to but in the wrong one's it should be very critically reviewed and rejected if it does not make sense for that venue. People are good at contorting all of the above in order to support their own biased arguments, especially smart people. But somehow in the end after the long and arduous application all of their complex and critical logic they seem to forget that each and every person has the right, liberty and total freedom to make their own decisions as they see fit as long as no one is endangered or hurt in the process. These rights were hard earned by all of our ancestors to be passed along to us. Maybe our ancestors saw the the light of freedom better than we are able to in the present. Until we can see beyond these boundaries we are our own prisoners in what could be a beautiful and brilliant world of mutual love, honor and respect for each other as persons and individuals each of whom are more than worthy of one another.

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  2.   msdeelee19 says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 13

    whether you same sex date, opposite sex date, age date (preference for younger/older), or date outside your culture/ethnicity/religious beliefs, one does so because they can!! its called freedom of choice.... what truly matters is the essence of that choice.... and that lies with the choice maker those who don't like that choice get over it and spend your time energy on things that make you happy not sad...

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  3.   shanora403 says:
    Posted: 16 Jan 13

    Well i think people should date who they want to, and there is someone for ever one,so whats the big deal i love white men that does not mean anything, it all comes down to attraction i happen to like seeing black men with white women or any other race for that matter why waste your time and energy hating !! do something productive with your time live love and laugh

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  4.   jod212 says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 13

    Ahh yes, both you gentlemen are correct however you have forgotten ons very sad fact of history which tante's these bad feeling's and pained self esteem many of us are pleagued with and that is the "Slave Trade culture" of early American history. Those individuals who are of African decent and are not self aware believe being with a "white" man/woman somehow elevates them unless they are very self actualized. Then they know the person they are with is just a date/friend/lover who happen's to be white. Those individuals who are white and protest the mix feel that the member of the couple who happen to be White are aiming below their "station"; even in this day and age. We have never had a serious discussion about race in this country. Sadly, there are all these mixed-up, displaced feeling's in the air yet no one want's to acknowledge them. Bottem line, as long as you know who you are and are comfortable with the choices you make, that is all that matters. Live your life, enjoy the journey and may you find love and happiness along the way, because the alternative of being alone is a very sad place especially if your doing it because others have a negative opinion about the people you are attracted to or the love life you wish to partake in.

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  5.   arlandf says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 13

    This is a reoccurring theme and I may sound like I am plagiarizing my previous posts. These women only care because they don't have options. In addition, they care because this man has money and he isn't spending it with them. Even if they marry intraracial, they will find fault on the woman he is with such as she's too light, she boogie, or she act "white". It is not even a money thing, when you have options and nothing tying you down, you can choose to be with whoever you want. My question is this, when did these women possess these men? Did they possess them when they were broke? Did they possess them when they were catching the bus? Did they care about these men when the work multiple jobs and stressed out? Did they possess them when they used their money to invest in their education or trying to start a business so they don't have to work for the white man (no offense to white men)? No, they didn't care. So why get mad for his choices. If a black woman get with a man of another race, I can't get mad. He has something that she needs and I don't have it; simple as that, No need to knock someone preference. Now if they talk about " * insert race sex* ain't shit* " or " I can't find a good *insert race sex*", that is when I get upset. I get upset because you chose the wrong person. In addition, there were people who show themselves friendly and you turn them down for superficial reasons. I have no sympathy for that. If you say "I found someone but he/she happens to be of another race.", no problem. If you say I am attracted to a certain type of person, that is cool with me. However, you must respect a person and their preference. We as black people need to get rid of that "Blessed be the name of the Lord then crucify him" mentality. That really haven't gotten us anywhere. We should not only care about a person because they have status. Also, we should not keep getting upset over people decisions. At the end of the day, you don't pay their bills or write their checks. You never supported the on a personal level, therefore, you should get upset for their choices.

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  6.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 13

    There no reason to get upset if a man or woman of your race is dating someone of another race. Even if they weren't dating someone of another race, what guarantee do you have that they would be dating you? Either way that person is off the market and you were not the person who got them. If I'm supposed to be mad (and I'm not) at a black woman for dating a man of another race, why would I not be as mad at a black woman for dating a black man that is not me? It's silly.

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