Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan 08

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

1717 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   DC- says:
    Posted: 1 day ago

    I met one young African American lady who preferred only White men. She just explained how she got along with them better.

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  2.   luvgluve says:
    Posted: 07 Aug

    Professionalism,I believe is why:)

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  3. Posted: 07 May

    I just love White men

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  4.   LadyHaiti says:
    Posted: 30 Mar

    Poorly treated by my own people, made sense to date white. Also I love Polys!!

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  5.   Deeniey says:
    Posted: 06 Feb

    I ran away from my attraction to white men for most of my life. (Growing up post apartheid in South Africa made it less interesting to feel need to pursue the mystery)I got absolutely no problem with black guys. I believe a character is not entirely built on colour , all races have their good and bad. I'd like to find the good in what I prefer, what excites me and in this case, it's the white brothers.

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  6.   Elegantbae says:
    Posted: 30 Jan

    I have never dated a White man before, but I have always been attracted to them. That is the reason why I joined this site. To find my white man. Hope it works out well for me

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    • dxtroyer says:
      Posted: 19 Mar

      Is because you want to go to Europe or American, Canada etc.is not love we know everything woman but try your luck..

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      • Chrishibbert says:
        Posted: 03 Apr

        Maybe the women are fed up with low class black men.

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        • Crewold says:
          Posted: 10 May

          yea i dont try to be a hater but the guy is right about a few stuff most of the girls wanna have a relationship to benefit themselves w something money visas stuff like this and if they need to do something for it they just leaving easily so i think most of the black girls saying they attracted to old white man they starting to realise that young white mans not stupid and desperate enough to spend they life on them but yea can just say what they guy go for it even tough i think its a shame anybody willing to pay just to have someone and find it really stupid disgusting and stuff that girls can do anything with a saggy old man for money but this is how it is

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      • FmaleLedRshp says:
        Posted: 18 Jun

        Bitterness at it's finest lol.. The thought that she just doesn't want you and yours is rather painful huh? The ideas we entertain to feel better about ourselves..

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  7.   Nazret says:
    Posted: 26 Jan

    Im black girl and im crazy to meet and i like white men allways opportunitie party will attract each other more resion

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  8.   Godloveher says:
    Posted: 23 Jan

    Can someone please tell me if this site is real, because some of these men I met are time waister,who are just interested of seen you on messenger,.. Need your help.

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    • Gdluckcharm says:
      Posted: 20 Mar

      The site is real. Just pay close attention to the grammar when they text you, and if they want you to move to a app to talk. Trust me, I've been there and done that. But, I must say, I recently met a wonderful MAN on this site just last month. Good luck on your search.

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    • Curlio says:
      Posted: 07 Jul

      It's true most of them are time waisted.

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    • hors3fly says:
      Posted: 21 Jul

      Some of the men are testing the water so to speak . Their are a lot of women out their that just using these dating site for self gain for money f2f o being in a poor country or just being plain lazy and not want a real job .

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  9. Posted: 28 Dec 16

    It doesn't matter the color, I have learned that all men have good and bad in them. Although we all have preferences, we should be careful not to date or marry for color. It should be for true love, respect and a spiritual relationship with God. That is what holds a relationship together.

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  10.   JuriHan says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 16

    I've pretty much solely dated white men my entire life with the exception of a black guy in college. I simply like what I like. I don't think that there is anything wrong with black men, however I'm only attracted to white men primarily and sometimes East Asian men. I have nothing against black men, I have an amazing father and brother. I also never had an issue attracting black OR white men. I'm personally not physically attracted to black men. As I've gotten older I am no longer apologetic for my interests. I now only exclusively date white men and my current bf of 3 years is white as well. Life is too short to not date who you want.

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  11.   Godloveher says:
    Posted: 17 Nov 16

    For me I am totally finish with black men,all because of my son father,he treats us has if we are no body...I always admire white men,but never lucky to date one...so my wish his to find a committed one who will be a great husband to me and my son.

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  12. Posted: 10 Oct 16

    It is something that can't be controlled or forced really. I also can't remember myself attracted to any other race but white. My 1st crush at 4yrs old was a white boy lol. Yep and I am black, fortunately it has never been a problem with my family.

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  13.   Bonniemae says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 16

    I'm open to men of all walks of life I can't judge a man based on his color its just a layer of skin thats not even one inch thick.

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  14.   Mwichy says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 16

    Black and white never go wrong it was a match color made in heaven.hoping to find a white man..so help me God

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  15.   elegant2016 says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 16

    I do not seek white men. They usually find me. I asked a few why is it they are quick to approach me and not a black man. I have dated white men who felt comfortable enough to say that yes they are physically attracted but it was something more that made them approach me. I dress modestly. Simply because if you dress trashy you should not be surprised by what approaches you. The way you speak and carry yourself speaks volumes. I was raised to always speak properly and dress properly. You never know where your prince is. Also I find that the more educated a black woman is the more likely she will meet that white prince. Education means you have traveled extensively. You are more open to different cultures. So if it is truly a white prince you want, if it takes awhile to find him it is because you are still a work in progress. Go back to school. Be involved in your community. The more you expose yourself to white men, the more they are sure that you can handle the experiences they bring. The beauty is he is not only a partner in love but also life. He will be your greatest mentor.

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    • Swissy says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 16

      What???? Ladies do not listen to this advice! Just be who you are, the right man will love you for that!

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      • BrownQueen36 says:
        Posted: 28 Dec 16

        You are right. I get approached by both black and white men and I am not the classy type. I am nice and friendly and carry myself in a respectful manner. I dress to the occasion and even where street clothes if I have to. So just be yourself and they will come (all types of men) not just white.

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    • ladybarb says:
      Posted: 18 Nov 16

      I totally agree with your assessment Elegant. You can't go wrong with class, elegance, being down to earth, but well mannered and educated. I have experienced what you have written and agree. Carry yourself with class and you will attract and be able to keep the same.

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  16.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 16

    I just hope I find someone my biological clock is ticking by ....?

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    • Kitten49 says:
      Posted: 23 Jun 16

      You will once you stop looking

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      • Kimblelene says:
        Posted: 13 Jul 16

        I understand and share the same view. My biological clock is ticking too and my white prince charm isn't here as yet lol

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  17.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 16

    I just love white men period, black men dislike the thought of that black women are betraying them what nonsense, so black men can date any culture and black women must stick with them to be disrespected.

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    • Redthirteen says:
      Posted: 23 Oct 16

      I'm a black man and I couldn't care less who you date. So no lol

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      • blackbelle01 says:
        Posted: 24 Oct 16

        If you could not care less who we date then why are you here posting about it.

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        • Sunryze says:
          Posted: 09 Jan

          His post is valid, the OP claimed 'black men dislike the thought that black women are betraying them'. As a free-thinking individual, he is seperating himself from the OP's blanket assumption that accuses all black males of thinking this way. He doesn't share that view, and is confirming so. He doesn't care who anyone dates.

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  18.   val_01 says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 16

    I remember saying this in my teens I know what my choice is by not having good roles models as men in my life ,now 45 and still searching or my soul mate I may socialise with black I just know my boundaries there is no connection , they will always treat others cultures better than their own which suppose is a good thing , I just hope I find my man on this site it's worth a try.

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  19.   Achydp says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 16

    Hoping to find my white Prince soon...I wanna be like u...

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  20. Posted: 02 Jun 16

    I think we tend to gravitate towards those we feel we have more in common with and society tends to make the assumption that by being of the same color we will have more in common. The reality is our inside person based on experiences and personalities play a large part in making us who we are. My experience has shown that an interracial couple with similar education are likely to have more in common in terms of likes, dislikes and ways of thinking then a couple of the same race with entirely different levels of education and occupations. Point is the more we experience the same the more we realize we are more similar regardless of skin color.

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    • Cognac_Lover says:
      Posted: 27 Aug 16

      I agree

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    • LadyHaiti says:
      Posted: 30 Mar

      I agree, growing up I was picked on for being an oreo. So my thought was if I was ever going to find someone I could have anything in common with it would have to be with white people. And more often than not we would have more in common.

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  21.   Lydia63 says:
    Posted: 26 May 16

    Preference

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  22.   pearlygate says:
    Posted: 21 May 16

    I've always loved&wanted to marry a WM but from my past relationship with one,hmmm..all men are the same... be they WorB

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  23.   Diamond_49 says:
    Posted: 15 May 16

    Why are all my comments being deleted and why can I no longer comment on the interracial dating page or unable to like comments and reply to them.

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  24.   Diamond_49 says:
    Posted: 15 May 16

    I definitely agree that it is about the physical attraction, I see black guys even stunning one's but it does nothing for me, but if I come across a white guy now that's a much better reaction from me, I also think that when white guy's see me that they think I am after a black guy, could be the reason why I am never approached by white guy's. .looks are most definitely deceiving.

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May 16

      Perhaps a white man assumes a beautiful woman like you, who happens to be black, won't be interested in them. Society sadly paints many stereotypes and some white men may feel they don't measure up to the physical attributes society often attributes to black men. Like with all stereotypes we are individuals, not our stereotypes. I hope you find a man who will , appreciate and treat you as gorgeous ad the woman I see in your pics.

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      • Diamond_49 says:
        Posted: 01 Jun 16

        I actually agree with you, but to me all men have the same physical attributes..but I actually go for a man who knows how to treat his woman and who knows how to make his woman feels like she is the best thing that has ever happened to him, to me a white man definitely delivers on that. Black men are too jealous and to darn controlling. Wish me luck.

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        • Lonely-Lefty says:
          Posted: 02 Jun 16

          Hi Diamond_49. I wish you will find a man to recognize and treat you as special as you are and make you feel as lovely as you are. You will find him!

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  25.   Iracelma says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 16

    My preference is a WM.I rarely date a black man but I like a WM some I date they can truly trust, honest,caring they know how to treat a woman. my soulmate dream is to have a WM.

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  26.   MzMecka1969 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 16

    My preference is WM! I just love the way the way they treat me! I have dated WM since High School and we have so much in common being that I live on Long Island! And sexually...may the fun begin!!Lol!

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  27. Posted: 03 Feb 16

    BW date WM because we can. I have a preference for WM and I find them to be more family oriented and very sexy

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  28.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 16

    It's just preference, just like some men only date blonde blue eye women or petite ladies. I'm open to dating most men but have dated mainly white men.

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May 16

      Sometimes love grabs hold of you and draws you to a person who may not be what you are most attracted to. I grew up segregated so was attracted to white women, mostly redheads and blondes but ended up marrying a brunette.

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  29.   Bayjaytay says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 16

    As soon as I realized boys were cool, I was only looking at white boys. I have never been attracted to black men. Ever. Don't know why. I think I was just wired that way. I'm happy with it. I don't think there's always a reason. You just like what you like.

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  30.   heistheway says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 15

    That is so true

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  31.   Ceiera says:
    Posted: 26 Nov 15

    I 've always been attracted to white men. They are caring and sweet and very open minded

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  32.   lupira says:
    Posted: 21 Nov 15

    Wow,I got a courage now to doy move, thanks watch the space,wish u guys long life together, I have been having this from younger age that I will marry a white guy the way I wanted this when someone says they are "white" I said no they are lighter in complexion plz don't call them "white", I am so defensive towards them even them they do have a thing for me,its just matter of time before I met my honest, charming, caring,matured, loving life time partner,wish me luck

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  33. Posted: 14 Nov 15

    I always say, "there is a rotten apple in every bunch." However, when it comes to preference over whom you're attracted to, be honest with yourself. I have always had an affinity toward Latino, Polynesian, and White men. It does not mean I have not dated Black men, I have, from different parts of the US, and usually ran into a common denominator that did not match up with dating compatibility or a shared common value of life. Black women are looking for love, but love without all the hoops, games etc., we seem to run into with our experiences dating black men. I am a firm believer that this many women speaking out about the dysfunction they've experienced with dating black men cannot be just a coincidence. My experience dating men from other ethnicities have been the most positive experiences, mutual respect, genuine care, stability, maturity, etc. Be with the person that makes you a better person, love is color blind. "We are all one race, and that is the Human Race." Sharmaine

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  34.   Sweetzuu says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 15

    U

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  35.   Ta-bin says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 15

    funny I don't know what race am actually attracted to

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  36.   Boobei says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 15

    luv doesnt,ask y? luv is is like a religion, black or white it's nothing, wat matters is d heart

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  37.   QueenKB says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 15

    I truly believe that it is who you are attracted to. I have come across sorry men in all races and as for me myself, I absolutely love white men, but that does not exclude black men from my life. If I find you attractive I will flirt or if it's something that you say or do that catches my attention I will watch or listen and then go from there. It's not all about race I have an older black child, but my last three are half white, and I be had bad relationships with both so I think if you just keep looking and don't be so consumed with race that person is out there and everybody deserves a chance at happiness no matter what race the opposite sex is

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  38.   Cap63 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 15

    Look it's about choice ok??? what is so difficult to accept about concept? I'm a black fellow and Ive rarely found/seen a black woman that Ive been attracted to and that could be for a variety of reasons. If black girls are not attracted to black guys what's the big deal? who's to say that one has to ' stick to ' ones own race? what pisses me off more are the divorced white women who'd been married to a white guy for years had multiple kids and now in their middle age they profess to only dating black men. Yet when they were young and attractive they didn't want to know, they chose to date marry and have kids with a white dude. The worst thing is seeing so many black guys willing and eager to pick up leftovers, you see them walking around on weekends with the white lady and her white teen aged kids and I bet they have their own kids that they don't have time for. That's a more pertinent issue in my book.

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  39.   d3c3mb3r says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 15

    At the end of the day, its about feelings not color! Do your thing and Swirl on! Life is too short to live for other people.

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  40.   Sugarcookii says:
    Posted: 12 Oct 15

    Personally i find men from all types of ethnic backgrounds attractive.

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  41.   MekaChu14 says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 15

    I kind of find myself in a bit of pickle. Because with me, I'm young African American female who's interested in mostly men in a different race then what I am. I was wondering if that's a bad thing? Because I'm around a lot of people who judge me and say I'm racist or things like that. But I'm not, I have black friends I care about. I want to know how I was programmed like that. But I did date a few white guys but they never want anything serious so I'm trying to figure out should I branch out or something. I'm just trying to figure if I'm the only person like this or if there's others out there. Because I kind of feel like an alien or something especially around friends. I always felt like it was just a preference thing and I didn't want to a date a guy if i know I'm not attracted to him. I guess reading article helps me a bit feel normal and I'm not so much alone in this. Because when I try to talk about it with friends it becomes a little heated. Except my parents they are usually open minded and say as long the guy treats you right. With my luck, I probably won't find that guy that fits my preference. My friends always say I'm too picky but I try to tell them I can't help it if I'm attracted to men of my own race. :/

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    • jaggers1 says:
      Posted: 04 Oct 15

      MekaChu don't let people tell who or what race to date. You may not agree with their choices but I bet you stand behind them because they are your friends and they should do the same. Who you date is a preference and what you like and them telling you otherwise is foolish on their part. You are young and will find what you are looking for in time. Don't rush it or you may end up with the wrong guy. You like who you like and as long as he treats you good it doesn't matter his skin color, it's the content of his character that matters. Good luck in your search

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 31 May 16

      MekaChu, don't pay attention to those calling you racist. You're exactly the opposite. Racist is berading you for dating outside your race. We can't break down the boundaries between different groups in society if some choose to build them around themselves. Hopefully society will respect your choices.

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  42.   Lwoods101 says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 15

    This articule was definitely written for me! I have never found myself attracted to black men. Glad to know that I'm not alone. I was always made to feel like I was wrong for feeling such a thing. But one likes what one likes.

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    • tallj says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 15

      I'm 100% with you

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    • Lonely-Lefty says:
      Posted: 02 Jun 16

      It's interesting because you're right we all have preferences. As long as they aren't blinded by ignorance and refuse to see then that's their right. It's sad to think that the white men who are open minded and recognize that beauty like yours shows through any color plus yourself might be pressured by society to put on blinders. Interracial dating and attraction is progress and should be embraced by society.

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  43.   sandra525 says:
    Posted: 24 Sep 15

    It's all about what ur attracted to.u like what u like.

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  44.   Allofme42 says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 15

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • Lwoods101 says:
      Posted: 29 Sep 15

      I don't think the article was put in that light at all. It merely addressed the fact that some black women just aren't attracted to black men. I had a wonderful father and handsome brothers whom I love dearly. This is speaking of a dating preference. Don't get caught in YOUR feelings by switching an entire article on it's head. It's attraction. It said nothing about black men being bad. However you did put it out there.

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      • Max_Sable says:
        Posted: 09 Oct 15

        I agree and actually I am glad we have a choice. Growing up light bright white was a prize. I am well traveled and older and now know one man's junk is definitely another man's treasure. I refused to let what society thought I should have influence what I desired especially when society and my own didn't appreciate the treasure I was created as.

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    • Lydia63 says:
      Posted: 26 May 16

      I had the best Black American daddy EVERYYYY who taught me to be happy and to follow my heart not people's opinions

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  45.   swtie22 says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 15

    its all about love joy n attraction with the desire between you two

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  46. Posted: 30 Jul 15

    Growing up I never discriminated but my first crush was Christian Slater and I moved on to Adam Sandler and David Schwimmer. I've dated black/white/international but my preference is white.

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  47.   tlhabi says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 15

    Black men lied from day one they first approach us. Whites if they really love you, they always open enough about being commited husband/father to his family. It will up to you that you accept him in that situation. Love is communication and calender.i once in that relationship and i was happy.he used to come to my work, we lost contact, i never called him.i am the one left my company.

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  48.   AngelRider says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 15

    I grew up in New York City , i am now over 50 . My first love was a black girl I say girl because we were both 15. We lost our virginity together and share many beautiful moments together that teenagers who become lovers do of all races. We still speak on the phone twice a month till this very day. She went on to marry a black man who does not know that I was ever a part of her life because she felt if he knew he would think it was wrong. I went on for a period of time dating women of all races but eventually decided that at some point I found black women who liked me came with less bagage and were more honest in a relationship about their feelings. They also were more attentive and loving. Maybe it was because of the admiration they had for me openly expressing my preferences with no regard for what anyone thought. I came very close to getting married a couple of times but their family members were unaccepting as opposed to mine who had no objection. So the old addage of if you can't bring them home works both ways. Eventually I gave up and married a white woman had a family but there was always the feeling like I had not followed my true compass of the heart. After 25 years I came out and told her how I still felt she was devastated and totally became this racist person that I never knew existed and I sadly ended my marriage. Now at my age I feel my life has come full circle and I once again have what was my true direction my heart always followed. I am still looking for that one special black women to spend the rest of my life with. In the meanwhile I have a great time dating black women who seem to only want a white man. I don't go looking for that but that's what seems to happen.I have met black women that have never dated their own race ever according to them and for the most part I believe them when they say things about black sterotypes that turn them off. I don't believe in sterotypes but it does exsist in our society. Finally love is truly color blind but true swirlers are people who have made a conscious decision to be with whom they wish and that's what freedom is all about....I remain a free man till the day I die regardless of what others think me. Thanks for listening AngelRider

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    • Sam_Bam says:
      Posted: 26 Aug 15

      It amazes me how many pass up good people and great love due to non-accepting family members. I dated a white guy in high school who adored me, but his mom was totally against it so it never went any further. It's a blessing that my family and friends aren't that close-minded, but if they were it would not matter. Anyone who is against my happiness isn't worthy of their opinion even mattering.

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    • tallj says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 15

      Sound's like u have great memories of her to bad you guys couldn't work it out

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    • Lea31 says:
      Posted: 08 Nov 15

      Great comment.

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  49.   Elmiria9 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 15

    I'm South African and called coloured race, I'm just gonna be honest to me it's about the person and their heart. But I must admit I recently experienced the kindness and gentleness of a prescious white guy I met. Things didn't work out, but in a friendly manner. I realized it's something I haven't experienced with coloured men, he brought out the most beautiful and happy girl I've ever been. Some men bring out the crazy Amazon in us Ladies.., I want the right treatment of tender love and mutual respect and trust. It's a Beautiful life I want.... Peace Love Joy. I'm here looking for my White Prince Charming.

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  50. Posted: 02 May 15

    I think you should date whom ever your true heart desires. it should never be about black or white or any other race, BUT!! What I don't understand is why is there so many black woman claiming to be mixed? when your clearly not.

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