What kind of Black woman dates a White man?

Posted by Ria, 20 Mar 12

Black women who date white men have been labeled so many things. In fact some of these labels attached to black women white men relationships have been the main reason why most of these women choose to only date black men.

Some black women have been bombarded with the rhetorical question: "What kind of black woman brings home a white man" by their family and friends whenever there is the mention of a white man they are dating. And this question is never asked in a positive light. In an article by Sandy Banks in the LA Times, Banks tries to shows us some answers that reflect two conflicting opinions of this woman. Is she:

"Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?"

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race.

What is your opinion of this black woman?

193 responses to "What kind of Black woman dates a White man? "

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  1.   Ogbejiji says:
    Posted: 1 day ago

    As far she is black woman,she can date any types of white men

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  2.   Rainbeau78 says:
    Posted: 21 Jul

    I am the kind of black women that will date and marry a white because i know what being love can be and is. I am the kind of black women that will date and marry a white man when The love is reciprocated and genuine and he has only the want to be with me and he is for me . I’m a black women that knows love has no color no smell or boundaries.

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  3.   Sapphirem38 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul

    The kind of woman who's a part of the human race. A woman who desires to love and be loved in return. The kind of woman who's attracted to a man and if he happens to be white, so be it. Finally, a woman with the knowledge, wisdom, tenacity and compassion to understand love has no color. Personally, I openly date interracially and I date men I'm attracted to....period.

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  4.   tiny26180 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul

    there is only 1 race the Human Race God made different shades there Good and Bad in everybody

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  5.   Siraj88 says:
    Posted: 24 Jun

    Black women who do this are dumb women who have been conditioned by white america to hate black men and then these stupid women are silly and fail to see that these WONDERFUL whiteman oppress and kill black men. Black women have self hatred in there hearts that do this. To me if my daughter came home with one of these jokers I would do a mercy killing and go to jail. Trying to destroy another people that is all they want to do.

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    • LondUKMan says:
      Posted: 27 Jun

      The hate is in you, not the women. Plenty of people can recognise other people as individuals, rather than as emissaries of a racist agenda. People should learn their history, know about racial injustices and violence, but there is no crime or immorality in dating someone of another skin colour.

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    • LondUKMan says:
      Posted: 27 Jun

      And you claim to be Muslim? Guess that is NOI?

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    • Trish11 says:
      Posted: 27 Jun

      That was cringeworthy to read. I threw up a little. We are not sheep to be “conditioned” in anyway. We are PEOPLE and are able to make conscious decisions in regards to our lives. We are not here to satisfy the masses (you and ANY who think as myopically as you do). We can think for ourselves. We like what we like and for you to say some stuff like this is despicable. “Mercy killing”??? Really??

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  6.   Ch3rryme says:
    Posted: 16 Mar

    I'm that kind of black woman who dates white men . I am simply me. A woman entitled to date who she chooses . Who doesn't care what others think . You dont have to sleep with me or him . I worry not about who is with who and what they think or feel about who I'm with. If people mind their own business maybe hate could die off . I raised my children to love who ever they choose and dont apologize for doing so. I have never explained to anyone about why I date white men and at 50 I'm not going to start. Last I checked none cared for the career I chose either. So if it's not one thing it's another. Dont have time to waste explaining my life to someone who is miserable in their own . I spend my time getting to know people and one day I will meet someone who wants to really marry me and not just fulfill a fantasy so white men stand up and claim your queen who ever it my be. And good luck in your search

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    • Swirling74 says:
      Posted: 17 Mar

      Thanks I can tell you are a caring human being what the world needs white man looing for his queen

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  7.   frndly1 says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 18

    I agree with the article. I'm looking for a "Gentleman "that is my soul mate regardless of race.

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  8.   PureP says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 18

    For me love knows no colour, i find fascination in our differences!

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  9.   Browneet says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 18

    this is for me..why? because im attracted to wm thats why...my preference

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  10.   Jenneluv says:
    Posted: 18 Jan 18

    White men are very caring ,understand you I'm any way feels your pain when you are having issues to handle I have never date a white before but I have a friend who is white the way he treats me checks on me any day any time even when is has a busy day he will let you know I can't say all but you will not get this from some of our black men so right now am Having strong feelings for white they gentle And sexy as well

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  11.   DC- says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 17

    What kind? All kinds! You just have to be in the right location.

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  12.   tookman says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 17

    I'm a white guy and my girlfriend is black. We don't like the same types of music,movies, t.v. shows, etc....she likes Sinatra (i find that slightly odd...lol) I like Slayer!!! I love bloody horror movies, they give her nightmares. When we're together just sitting and kissing each other, all is right with the world. There' s so much we don't have in common but when we're together...magic. I know the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet. We actually made a game out of seeing who would give us "the stare" any time we go out in public. Once we went to the movies and a black guy ahead of us in line gave me this stare as if to say "how dare you!!!!' I made it a point to wrap my arms around my girl even harder. She has two girls that I love like my own. I consider them my daughters now even though they're not. My point is.. you never know who you'll love until you let them in.

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    • SweetieShine says:
      Posted: 22 May 18

      I think that's so awesome! I don't see color in a man, or woman. It's about the heart, who you fall in love with. That's what I'm looking for and Touche' to you for stepping up and being a good man. No matter your skin color. Many blessings and longevity in happiness to you both!

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  13.   milehime says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 17

    Jezebel, i am not being harsh in my view. For many a year now they have portray how hard they have tried in relationship but really its shown they were the issue all along in our relationships and when guilt has set in on them they bounce and attempt to star in a feature film, "that's all it is" no substance.

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  14. Posted: 07 Feb 17

    I've always been into white boys as far back as I can remember. I only stopped trying to peruse because of the racism in my town and for a minute I thought all white men hated black women. Now that I see it happening, I feel like I have a chance. Hopefully we can find love in a hopeless place. If you're like me and are into vlogging, go to YouTube and watch Gabebabe Tv. They're an interracial couple and are absolutely adorable!

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  15.   Pompv says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 17

    A woman who doesn't care what color love is.

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  16.   Naturall360 says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 16

    I can only speak for myself. I grew up in Texas. I am dark skinned and some of my siblings are light skinned due to my great grandfather being white. However through out my child hood and into my teens, I was called names such as "tar baby, darkie" and made to feel as though I was not attractive simply because I was dark. In college, I was overlooked because I was dark so I never really dated. Therefore, I could not understand why I should wait around for a black man who accepted me in spite of my dark skin. I did not start dating white men until law school and this was mostly due to having common interests such as hiking, traveling, camping. (I am not saying that black men do not share the same things). I was also into all types of music from big band to Afro pop.. I also like heavy metal bands, and hard rock. This was because as a black child I refused to accept that I am inferior to any race and would not allow myself to be restricted from things I enjoyed because that's what white people liked. I am open open to dating all races because I am a confident, dark skinned, black woman. And I am attractive enough to attract whomever I choose to date.

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  17. Posted: 10 Oct 16

    Honestly, it is the kind that was born that way. I once forced myself to date a black guy, it lasted a month and felt wrong from beginning to end. He was a great guy just not my cup of tea. I also think he was uncomfortable the whole time because even my closest friends all white. We were just far apart, our only common ground was engineering. That's not the life, I think love is about being happy and free around your significant other so if their very being is the source of your discomfort then why should you put each other through all that? However I believe there are black men out there who would blend perfectly with my lifestyle just haven't met them yet.

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  18.   ladybarb says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 16

    The kind of Black woman that dates White men varies. Perhaps she has been mistreated by Black men and found a different and better treatment with white men. Maybe she grew up in a multicultural environment and race and culture easily accepted. Or, maybe she likes not having to discuss "the Black Problem" all of the time. She could be simply attracted to white men for a variety of reasons, intellect, looks, cultural differences,... who knows? You like who and what you like. Each of us has our own canvas and paints it our way.

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  19.   sokimi says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 16

    This black woman is the kind of woman that dates white men. I love them!

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  20.   LFAA850 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 16

    A woman who is sick and tired of being disregarded by Black men ; A woman who wants to have a life and not sit home along every weekend ; A woman who would like to get married and have a future with someone who can love and appreciate her and vice versa.

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  21.   ALASSIO says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 16

    My preferences for white men are more to do with sharing common interests.. I enjoy reading, museums, art & history. There aren't many black men who really enjoy these cultural leanings... I love walking round art galleries & libraries, but very rarely do I see black men in them. So what do we talk about?..I don't want to be made to feel that I am just an ornament, just to look good on his arm... Why do bm think they can just sweet talk me, I don't fall for any of that, I need a man with more substance...

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      I totally agree. I have no need to put down black men the way I've seen the other combinations insult their opposites to prop up the races of their choice. Instead, like you, I see it as common interests and nothing more. I like SciFi, comic books, role playing games like old school Dungeons & Dragons, reading/discussing literary classics, I don't like most hip hop/rap songs or the misogynistic vulgar lyrics, etc. I'd rather listen to soft rock, some alternative, classic r&b like Anita Baker or Teddy Pendergrass, or new age classical. Bottom line, there are just more white and Asian males interested in these topics. I love conversing with older, white male professionals over dinner and fine wine. And occasionally I have dated black men that share my interests, but black men are as multidimensional as white men in every other way and are great.

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  22.   Kitten49 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 16

    I guess I can only speak for myself as a black woman. It's usually the physical attributes of the white men I've met and their character. I love stroking their soft silky hair, looking into big brown eyes or blue. I love how patient and easy going they are and I am a lot to handle at times. They love me for me and not just what they can get, they are not nasty or disrespectful, don't talk down to me, beat me, belittle me or hate me. I think black men are extremely mean spirited and cruel even the ones who appear to be nice. I will trust a white man more than I do a black man and that is just my honest feeling.

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      Wow! So you've met every black man? And never ever heard of abusive white men? Lol! Guess you don't watch many Lifetime movies or bother to read crime stats against women in places like Denmark, Eastern Europe, or our South? My father, brothers, uncles, frat bros, etc., are not remotely as you described them, and I'm not a fat, tight clothes-wearing welfare recipient with kids out of wedlock. Can we not come on here and stereotype white or black men???? Because I am disgusted when black women and white women are generalized.

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      • NardiJMGirl says:
        Posted: 06 Dec 18

        The OP does not have to have sampled every black man to speak from a place of certainty and experience. If you're familiar with the sciences, there's a method of research using what scientists call emptical data, where the attributes of a sample of randomly chosen subjects represent the population as a whole. Not because the entire population is necessarily exactly like that, but because there's an increasing likelihood of an attribute/behavior supported based on the attitudes/behaviors of randomly chosen subjects. So okay, stereotyping is undesirable, but can we accept that people speak from what their (oftentimes multiple of the same) experiences have taught them, or if they come from certain circumstances, those circumstances color their outlook based on what the norms are that they repeatedly observe? Agreeing to disagree is fine, but please, let's not gaslight by presenting questions like, "Have you sampled them all," when you know full well that there are many women traumatized by their dealings with multiple members of certain groups of individuals. That's a dumb question meant to invalidate and insult what might very well be someone's genuine and actual experiences and observations and it's not as genius a clapback as you think.

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  23.   Sega1220 says:
    Posted: 08 Jun 16

    I date white men because I find them to be extremely attractive, and attentive. White men have always accepted me for who I am, I never had to change my appearence or dumb down my intellect, just to make them feel more of a man. Now don't get me wrong I have ran into a few bad apples, however I considered them to be bad apples in that they just couldnt get it together personally, or mentally. Even though we didn't hit it off as a couple there was never any type of disrespect shown towards me.

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  24.   NYGriego says:
    Posted: 28 May 16

    Anyone notice that a lot of these positive commenters without pics have removed their profiles?

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  25. Posted: 14 Apr 16

    The black woman who is secure in her own skin and who knows what she wants no matter what the color is love has no color that's the important thing love has no color, be happy and who you are and what step out show everyone that you can make your own choices color has no barrier it doesn't dictate your life you dictate your life and your happiness be happy black women with whomever you choose,

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  26.   Hannyyy1 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 16

    well they say that opposites attract

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  27.   luvgluve says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 16

    I believe blackwomen desire whitemen because of professionalism traits, and compliments we give them!

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    • NYGriego says:
      Posted: 28 May 16

      So nothing physical just the mental stuff and a few words? You make them sound easy to please. LOL..

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  28.   MzMecka1969 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 16

    I truly date whoever I want! I lived in a community where blacks and whites were equal. My childhood babysitter's were my neighbor's and they were Irish and Italian! My school was 50/50 and there were a lot of mixing! And the white boys were definitely looking at the sisters and this was the 80's! So it's just not a big deal to me at all!

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  29.   DC- says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 16

    I've asked the question to Black women if they would date outside of our race. Most replied they would, but if the man were to approach her. I think it depends on location, preferences and personality. Rarely am I approached by White men in public.

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  30.   rosej8 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 16

    i disagree with your opinion, there are many white males who doesn't even know how to treat a woman.. so no, the women isnt always smitten with love, sometimes white guys just want an experience which is disgusting.. i dont date those kind of white guys

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  31.   Shunii says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 16

    No one should ever have to justify why they love someone of a different race. Even within our own race we are each different but we don't justify why we don't like the same things. We all were placed on this earth with a partner in design and if they happen to be of a different race that still doesn't take away from the undeniable connection you both share. I am open to life and every beautiful thing waiting to greet me. At the end of the day the goal is to love and be loved...period

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  32.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 16

    A woman who keeps her heart and options open!

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  33. Posted: 18 Jan 16

    A black women that's open minded, a REAL black woman who doesn't see just the color of someone skin but can see and love that person (no matter what race) for who they are. A real black woman that's strong and that's not afraid of stepping over Barrier's that society "wants" us to be limited too. I've always and will be attracted to white men, and nothing will change that. I'll be damned if I let someone tell me who I can and can't date or worry about what others have to say because I CHOSE to be in a IR. I'm so over the nonsense, it's 2016, get over it. Love wins, hate doesn't.

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  34.   penelope77 says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 15

    A woman who is not afraid of what people might say and compromise her happiness.One is wants to be loved ,serenade with love and respect. You can't let the fear of what people will say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do it

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  35.   NeeNeeNitra says:
    Posted: 13 Dec 15

    A woman who is open minded to all races. Color should never matter.

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  36.   BelleTay says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 15

    The kind that's confident in who she is. She laugh's at the thought of having to explaining or defend her life choices to anyone. Last but not least one that wants to be celebrated not tolerated.

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  37.   Robby2u says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 15

    The kind that's looking for that special kind of treatment from a spectacular man that they haven't found in their own race. Just face the truth that women are tired of being the punching bags of the relationship and want someone they can connect with.

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  38. Posted: 26 Aug 15

    A smart one.

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  39.   Sam_Bam says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 15

    One who dates and loves without racial borders. I have never had to think twice about someone's race when it comes to dating. Rather it's a white/brown/black/yellow/green/or multi-colored man, all I know is that I like to be treated with care and respect.

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  40.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 15

    I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men not just bedroom bandits!!!

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    • penelope77 says:
      Posted: 14 Dec 15

      Babe i agree with you .May God help us to achieve our hearts desires.Amen

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    • 4meitsu says:
      Posted: 10 Feb 16

      Hello, you are a very intelligent woman and I say tear down the wall we are all humans and everyone should have the "dream" when all God"s children walk hand in hand

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      Right on!

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  41.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 15

    I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men noy just bedroom bandits!!!

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  42.   LatoyaS says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 15

    A woman who is naturally attracted to white men, is the kind of black woman who dates a white man.There is just this inkling of sorts that drives the desire and makes a black woman comfortable with the idea of dating, loving and marrying a white man. It's just chemistry - as cheesy as it may sound, opposite do attract.

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  43.   BrownBee78 says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 15

    A woman who is tired of her own men calling her ugly for having dark skin.

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  44. Posted: 07 Jun 15

    sellouts.

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  45.   Dknsweet1 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 14

    The Black woman who dates and falls for White men just come by their attraction without explanation. Like me when you begin to have "eyes for the opposite sex" you just see white as your preference. Why is an explanation even necessary? Does any one demand an explanation for why you prefer tacos over pizza, chicken over beef, Reggae over country, purple over yellow, or why you love strawberry ice cream and not chocolate? Why must I explain my attraction when I don't know why? I just am turned on & attracted to white men. I've dated all kinds & races but my preference is white, hands down. I'm so tired of this conversation, enough already!

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  46.   MissTexas01 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 14

    Well, I think she is brave. Choosing to follow your heart wherever it leads takes strength and resilience. This black woman knows this and still steps forward knowing she will get it from both sides the black and white community. This day and age it is more accepted to see a black man and white woman. She will have to deal with black men especially who can sometimes be aggressive with their opinions on your decision. To look past all of that and say this is who I want I love is easy but to press through all of that and say this is who I want to date takes guts. So in my opinion that woman /me is a phenomenal woman. ;-)

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  47.   Tireah says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 14

    When I was 15 years old I would date white guys that are more black mined....Why? I felt more in toned and connected in some sense because i identified with his "white guy act black" behavior it was familiar. So the idea that I get white man would date are black woman that had a sense of a white woman behavior. That isn't my thoughts and how I view things no more but for me too answer this I had too go back 14 years in my thoughts and feeling to answer this

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  48.   MrRight4u2 says:
    Posted: 30 May 14

    i find these type mostly with the new generation of BW, aka social media junkies, know -it-alls, etc... BW who grow up in diverse society.

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  49.   Akreazz says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 14

    First, I don't identify people in terms of color. Therefore, I am an educated secure woman, who is open-minded, responsible, adventurous and secure. I live in a country that is free, and I fought for that freedom. I have never cared about anyone's thoughts about me dating and marrying any man I choose. I have earned the right to achieve and do whatever, I want to do within the law. We are born in this world alone and, we leave this world alone. So, plan to be happy with whomever is your joy.

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  50.   LeeLee4713 says:
    Posted: 06 Feb 14

    I am only interested in Caucasian and Asian men. But I'm finding it very hard to meet. Just moved to the Washington DC area. I am a very attractive women for my age of 61.

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    • MissTexas01 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 14

      Lol, I lived in chocolate city aka DC for about 6 years. They don't call it chocolate city for nothing. It will be hard to date interracially mostly because of access and availability. Asian men are especially scarce.

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