What kind of Black woman dates a White man?

Posted by Ria, 20 Mar 12

Black women who date white men have been labeled so many things. In fact some of these labels attached to black women white men relationships have been the main reason why most of these women choose to only date black men.

Some black women have been bombarded with the rhetorical question: "What kind of black woman brings home a white man" by their family and friends whenever there is the mention of a white man they are dating. And this question is never asked in a positive light. In an article by Sandy Banks in the LA Times, Banks tries to shows us some answers that reflect two conflicting opinions of this woman. Is she:

"Open-minded or desperate; a champion of her gender or traitor to her race; someone who is culturally secure or trying to look away from her own black face?"

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

If you asked me, the kind of Black woman who has a white husband or boyfriend is one who is smitten with love… one who falls for, dates and marries a man who makes her happy no matter the race.

What is your opinion of this black woman?

174 responses to "What kind of Black woman dates a White man? "

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  1.   DC- says:
    Posted: 1 day ago

    What kind? All kinds! You just have to be in the right location.

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  2.   tookman says:
    Posted: 14 Aug

    I'm a white guy and my girlfriend is black. We don't like the same types of music,movies, t.v. shows, etc....she likes Sinatra (i find that slightly odd...lol) I like Slayer!!! I love bloody horror movies, they give her nightmares. When we're together just sitting and kissing each other, all is right with the world. There' s so much we don't have in common but when we're together...magic. I know the rest of the world hasn't caught up yet. We actually made a game out of seeing who would give us "the stare" any time we go out in public. Once we went to the movies and a black guy ahead of us in line gave me this stare as if to say "how dare you!!!!' I made it a point to wrap my arms around my girl even harder. She has two girls that I love like my own. I consider them my daughters now even though they're not. My point is.. you never know who you'll love until you let them in.

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  3.   milehime says:
    Posted: 18 Mar

    Jezebel, i am not being harsh in my view. For many a year now they have portray how hard they have tried in relationship but really its shown they were the issue all along in our relationships and when guilt has set in on them they bounce and attempt to star in a feature film, "that's all it is" no substance.

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  4. Posted: 07 Feb

    I've always been into white boys as far back as I can remember. I only stopped trying to peruse because of the racism in my town and for a minute I thought all white men hated black women. Now that I see it happening, I feel like I have a chance. Hopefully we can find love in a hopeless place. If you're like me and are into vlogging, go to YouTube and watch Gabebabe Tv. They're an interracial couple and are absolutely adorable!

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  5.   Pompv says:
    Posted: 30 Jan

    A woman who doesn't care what color love is.

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  6.   Naturall360 says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 16

    I can only speak for myself. I grew up in Texas. I am dark skinned and some of my siblings are light skinned due to my great grandfather being white. However through out my child hood and into my teens, I was called names such as "tar baby, darkie" and made to feel as though I was not attractive simply because I was dark. In college, I was overlooked because I was dark so I never really dated. Therefore, I could not understand why I should wait around for a black man who accepted me in spite of my dark skin. I did not start dating white men until law school and this was mostly due to having common interests such as hiking, traveling, camping. (I am not saying that black men do not share the same things). I was also into all types of music from big band to Afro pop.. I also like heavy metal bands, and hard rock. This was because as a black child I refused to accept that I am inferior to any race and would not allow myself to be restricted from things I enjoyed because that's what white people liked. I am open open to dating all races because I am a confident, dark skinned, black woman. And I am attractive enough to attract whomever I choose to date.

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  7. Posted: 10 Oct 16

    Honestly, it is the kind that was born that way. I once forced myself to date a black guy, it lasted a month and felt wrong from beginning to end. He was a great guy just not my cup of tea. I also think he was uncomfortable the whole time because even my closest friends all white. We were just far apart, our only common ground was engineering. That's not the life, I think love is about being happy and free around your significant other so if their very being is the source of your discomfort then why should you put each other through all that? However I believe there are black men out there who would blend perfectly with my lifestyle just haven't met them yet.

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  8.   ladybarb says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 16

    The kind of Black woman that dates White men varies. Perhaps she has been mistreated by Black men and found a different and better treatment with white men. Maybe she grew up in a multicultural environment and race and culture easily accepted. Or, maybe she likes not having to discuss "the Black Problem" all of the time. She could be simply attracted to white men for a variety of reasons, intellect, looks, cultural differences,... who knows? You like who and what you like. Each of us has our own canvas and paints it our way.

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  9.   sokimi says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 16

    This black woman is the kind of woman that dates white men. I love them!

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  10.   LFAA850 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 16

    A woman who is sick and tired of being disregarded by Black men ; A woman who wants to have a life and not sit home along every weekend ; A woman who would like to get married and have a future with someone who can love and appreciate her and vice versa.

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    • DC- says:
      Posted: 14 Jan

      The best answer to this article I've seen so far.

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  11.   ALASSIO says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 16

    My preferences for white men are more to do with sharing common interests.. I enjoy reading, museums, art & history. There aren't many black men who really enjoy these cultural leanings... I love walking round art galleries & libraries, but very rarely do I see black men in them. So what do we talk about?..I don't want to be made to feel that I am just an ornament, just to look good on his arm... Why do bm think they can just sweet talk me, I don't fall for any of that, I need a man with more substance...

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      I totally agree. I have no need to put down black men the way I've seen the other combinations insult their opposites to prop up the races of their choice. Instead, like you, I see it as common interests and nothing more. I like SciFi, comic books, role playing games like old school Dungeons & Dragons, reading/discussing literary classics, I don't like most hip hop/rap songs or the misogynistic vulgar lyrics, etc. I'd rather listen to soft rock, some alternative, classic r&b like Anita Baker or Teddy Pendergrass, or new age classical. Bottom line, there are just more white and Asian males interested in these topics. I love conversing with older, white male professionals over dinner and fine wine. And occasionally I have dated black men that share my interests, but black men are as multidimensional as white men in every other way and are great.

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  12.   Kitten49 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 16

    I guess I can only speak for myself as a black woman. It's usually the physical attributes of the white men I've met and their character. I love stroking their soft silky hair, looking into big brown eyes or blue. I love how patient and easy going they are and I am a lot to handle at times. They love me for me and not just what they can get, they are not nasty or disrespectful, don't talk down to me, beat me, belittle me or hate me. I think black men are extremely mean spirited and cruel even the ones who appear to be nice. I will trust a white man more than I do a black man and that is just my honest feeling.

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      Wow! So you've met every black man? And never ever heard of abusive white men? Lol! Guess you don't watch many Lifetime movies or bother to read crime stats against women in places like Denmark, Eastern Europe, or our South? My father, brothers, uncles, frat bros, etc., are not remotely as you described them, and I'm not a fat, tight clothes-wearing welfare recipient with kids out of wedlock. Can we not come on here and stereotype white or black men???? Because I am disgusted when black women and white women are generalized.

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  13.   Sega1220 says:
    Posted: 08 Jun 16

    I date white men because I find them to be extremely attractive, and attentive. White men have always accepted me for who I am, I never had to change my appearence or dumb down my intellect, just to make them feel more of a man. Now don't get me wrong I have ran into a few bad apples, however I considered them to be bad apples in that they just couldnt get it together personally, or mentally. Even though we didn't hit it off as a couple there was never any type of disrespect shown towards me.

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  14.   NYGriego says:
    Posted: 28 May 16

    Anyone notice that a lot of these positive commenters without pics have removed their profiles?

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  15. Posted: 14 Apr 16

    The black woman who is secure in her own skin and who knows what she wants no matter what the color is love has no color that's the important thing love has no color, be happy and who you are and what step out show everyone that you can make your own choices color has no barrier it doesn't dictate your life you dictate your life and your happiness be happy black women with whomever you choose,

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  16.   Hannyyy1 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 16

    well they say that opposites attract

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  17.   luvgluve says:
    Posted: 21 Feb 16

    I believe blackwomen desire whitemen because of professionalism traits, and compliments we give them!

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    • NYGriego says:
      Posted: 28 May 16

      So nothing physical just the mental stuff and a few words? You make them sound easy to please. LOL..

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  18.   MzMecka1969 says:
    Posted: 18 Feb 16

    I truly date whoever I want! I lived in a community where blacks and whites were equal. My childhood babysitter's were my neighbor's and they were Irish and Italian! My school was 50/50 and there were a lot of mixing! And the white boys were definitely looking at the sisters and this was the 80's! So it's just not a big deal to me at all!

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  19.   DC- says:
    Posted: 13 Feb 16

    I've asked the question to Black women if they would date outside of our race. Most replied they would, but if the man were to approach her. I think it depends on location, preferences and personality. Rarely am I approached by White men in public.

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  20.   rosej8 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 16

    i disagree with your opinion, there are many white males who doesn't even know how to treat a woman.. so no, the women isnt always smitten with love, sometimes white guys just want an experience which is disgusting.. i dont date those kind of white guys

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  21.   Shunii says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 16

    No one should ever have to justify why they love someone of a different race. Even within our own race we are each different but we don't justify why we don't like the same things. We all were placed on this earth with a partner in design and if they happen to be of a different race that still doesn't take away from the undeniable connection you both share. I am open to life and every beautiful thing waiting to greet me. At the end of the day the goal is to love and be loved...period

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  22.   Brunsugah says:
    Posted: 02 Feb 16

    A woman who keeps her heart and options open!

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  23. Posted: 18 Jan 16

    A black women that's open minded, a REAL black woman who doesn't see just the color of someone skin but can see and love that person (no matter what race) for who they are. A real black woman that's strong and that's not afraid of stepping over Barrier's that society "wants" us to be limited too. I've always and will be attracted to white men, and nothing will change that. I'll be damned if I let someone tell me who I can and can't date or worry about what others have to say because I CHOSE to be in a IR. I'm so over the nonsense, it's 2016, get over it. Love wins, hate doesn't.

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  24.   penelope77 says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 15

    A woman who is not afraid of what people might say and compromise her happiness.One is wants to be loved ,serenade with love and respect. You can't let the fear of what people will say or think stop you from doing what you want to do or else we would never do it

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  25.   NeeNeeNitra says:
    Posted: 13 Dec 15

    A woman who is open minded to all races. Color should never matter.

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  26.   BelleTay says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 15

    The kind that's confident in who she is. She laugh's at the thought of having to explaining or defend her life choices to anyone. Last but not least one that wants to be celebrated not tolerated.

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  27.   Robby2u says:
    Posted: 04 Oct 15

    The kind that's looking for that special kind of treatment from a spectacular man that they haven't found in their own race. Just face the truth that women are tired of being the punching bags of the relationship and want someone they can connect with.

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  28. Posted: 26 Aug 15

    A smart one.

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  29.   Sam_Bam says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 15

    One who dates and loves without racial borders. I have never had to think twice about someone's race when it comes to dating. Rather it's a white/brown/black/yellow/green/or multi-colored man, all I know is that I like to be treated with care and respect.

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  30.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 15

    I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men not just bedroom bandits!!!

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    • penelope77 says:
      Posted: 14 Dec 15

      Babe i agree with you .May God help us to achieve our hearts desires.Amen

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    • 4meitsu says:
      Posted: 10 Feb 16

      Hello, you are a very intelligent woman and I say tear down the wall we are all humans and everyone should have the "dream" when all God"s children walk hand in hand

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    • GOPCutie says:
      Posted: 23 Aug 16

      Right on!

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  31.   cocorose88 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 15

    I never really understood why black women had to explain themselves when dating a handsome educated white man, while no one ever questions why black men date marry and breed with white women all the time....Is that to say that white women are more desirable than their men? I think not especially when they are more prone than other women to age more exponentially than milk, Just saying it is what it is! Anyway the kind of sista that dates and marries white men is the kind of sista that is sexy educated and in need of love and security that can only be given by a REAL man. Unfortunately as the idiom goes "once you go brotha, you WILL be a single mother." Smart women look for real men noy just bedroom bandits!!!

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  32.   LatoyaS says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 15

    A woman who is naturally attracted to white men, is the kind of black woman who dates a white man.There is just this inkling of sorts that drives the desire and makes a black woman comfortable with the idea of dating, loving and marrying a white man. It's just chemistry - as cheesy as it may sound, opposite do attract.

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  33.   BrownBee78 says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 15

    A woman who is tired of her own men calling her ugly for having dark skin.

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  34. Posted: 07 Jun 15

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  35.   Dknsweet1 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 14

    The Black woman who dates and falls for White men just come by their attraction without explanation. Like me when you begin to have "eyes for the opposite sex" you just see white as your preference. Why is an explanation even necessary? Does any one demand an explanation for why you prefer tacos over pizza, chicken over beef, Reggae over country, purple over yellow, or why you love strawberry ice cream and not chocolate? Why must I explain my attraction when I don't know why? I just am turned on & attracted to white men. I've dated all kinds & races but my preference is white, hands down. I'm so tired of this conversation, enough already!

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  36.   MissTexas01 says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 14

    Well, I think she is brave. Choosing to follow your heart wherever it leads takes strength and resilience. This black woman knows this and still steps forward knowing she will get it from both sides the black and white community. This day and age it is more accepted to see a black man and white woman. She will have to deal with black men especially who can sometimes be aggressive with their opinions on your decision. To look past all of that and say this is who I want I love is easy but to press through all of that and say this is who I want to date takes guts. So in my opinion that woman /me is a phenomenal woman. ;-)

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  37.   Tireah says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 14

    When I was 15 years old I would date white guys that are more black mined....Why? I felt more in toned and connected in some sense because i identified with his "white guy act black" behavior it was familiar. So the idea that I get white man would date are black woman that had a sense of a white woman behavior. That isn't my thoughts and how I view things no more but for me too answer this I had too go back 14 years in my thoughts and feeling to answer this

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  38.   MrRight4u2 says:
    Posted: 30 May 14

    i find these type mostly with the new generation of BW, aka social media junkies, know -it-alls, etc... BW who grow up in diverse society.

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  39.   Akreazz says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 14

    First, I don't identify people in terms of color. Therefore, I am an educated secure woman, who is open-minded, responsible, adventurous and secure. I live in a country that is free, and I fought for that freedom. I have never cared about anyone's thoughts about me dating and marrying any man I choose. I have earned the right to achieve and do whatever, I want to do within the law. We are born in this world alone and, we leave this world alone. So, plan to be happy with whomever is your joy.

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  40.   LeeLee4713 says:
    Posted: 06 Feb 14

    I am only interested in Caucasian and Asian men. But I'm finding it very hard to meet. Just moved to the Washington DC area. I am a very attractive women for my age of 61.

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    • MissTexas01 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 14

      Lol, I lived in chocolate city aka DC for about 6 years. They don't call it chocolate city for nothing. It will be hard to date interracially mostly because of access and availability. Asian men are especially scarce.

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  41.   girlygirl28 says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 13

    Well, this type of black woman is awesome, because I am one of them. LOL! My preference has always been for white men, but in the past; I've dated black guys, just to satisfy others. Well, dating black men, just because society and my family expected me to, didn't work out. Mainly because most of the black men treated me horribly. Im not bashing black men (because I have 5 awesome uncles who don't fit the stereotype), but I must admit; I've been treated better by white guys I've dated.

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  42.   Cory0533 says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 13

    I don't know I am only interested in dating (possibly marrying) only white or Asian men. My father though, since he was raised in the segregation times in Baton Rouge, he didn't like that at all but he has his reasons and I understand. My mom I don't think she minds at all that i date white men. My friends kind of gave me grief for a bit but then they backed off. I honestly don't care if people don't like that I date a white man they can go screw themselves for all I care. I am not only black I have many races that flow in my veins.

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  43.   Newbganing says:
    Posted: 07 Oct 13

    What kind of black woman (men) date a white man. Thats a joke!!! Its apparent she is secure within her OWN self. Its apparent she is focused on finding true love and not simply having sex. Its apparent she does not give a (bad word) into what these closed minded people think of her making self not simply happy BUT joyful!! YOU go my sisters!!!! A black lady dating/marrying a good white man (no disrespect) is not a slap in the face toward a good black man. People in America are so closed minded toward life. Everybody wants to slip and dip into someone else world YET can not handle the affairs of their own life lol. That indicates to me; insecurity within themselves. What kind of black lady date a white man; a bold LADY, a courageous WOMAN, a committed woman; that someone hate IS HATING on, a loyal woman, an honest woman, a strong woman that has a heart of steel in the midst of oppression, which defines her OUTSTANDINGNESS!!!! Without knowing who you are I commend and pat you on your back for standing up and doing you!!!

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    • Randerson101 says:
      Posted: 29 Dec 13

      Good answer. I could have said it better myself. You clearly have a great perspective on life and love.

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  44.   poshgal says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 13

    I really don't understand the label in behind a black woman dating or married a white man if he's respectful and loving does it really matter what color he is?

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  45. Posted: 29 May 13

    I have always been attracted to white men and at times when I was on my dates I seemed to be bothered by the stares, but the guys I was with just ignored it or made a joke about it, so that made me feel more confident and it made me more attracted to them. After a while I enjoyed my dates even more. And it it goes for anyone who I am with, if you are willing to stand up for yourself and me then you are worth it.

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  46.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 13

    All kinds of black women from all walks of life and every profession imaginable date white men. Let's see World Class athletes, supermodels, actresses, musicians, pilots, doctors, members of parliament, teachers, students,professors, university deans, soldiers, military officers, writers, ski instructors ......the list goes on. I'm sure they are open minded and not "desperate "

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  47.   Magdal1 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 13

    Actually, when an individual start out a relationship with someone of an opposite race, it is done as a method of exploration. In which exploration is a learning tool that leads us to discover new things. These new things can be very exciting to an individual, than the ones the individual is accustomed of dealing with day-by-day. Also, it can be compared as having an appetite for a new type of food, but in this case it is a new type of race or different culture. An example is that when two individuals of different race are together usually heads turn, than when someone sees together individuals of the same race. When heads turn, it can be due to different reasons but the main one is that it draws attention.

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    • Eam60 says:
      Posted: 09 Jun 14

      I think "EXPLORATION" is the wrong word to use....love do not have eyeballs....it is the feeling that get you through the journey.

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    • MissTexas01 says:
      Posted: 28 Jul 14

      I guess you are right. It is something like trying something new. I remember that first date I went on with a white guy. I was nervous. I'm hardly ever nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if it would be the same or something different. I had always been attracted to white guys since the second grade but had never until that day gone out with a white guy. Despite what was going on all around us he stared into my eyes the entire time. It was almost creepy yet sweet. The next guy I went out with did the same thing and I was not so creeped out. I now know that is how white men are. They give you their 100% attention. Lol i laugh now at how i was thinking to myself is he even blinking. My point is you are right it is like learning a new culture and experiencing something new.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 23 Sep 15

      I am sorry but I don't agree with your views but we can agree to disagree.

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    • blackbelle01 says:
      Posted: 07 Oct 15

      This maybe your view but it is not what lead me to date IR. I see men as men.

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  48.   cutiepie43 says:
    Posted: 07 Apr 13

    That raz me are the ones lurking in the shadows waiting for an oppurtunity to ask me questions de:dating and making.g love with a white man my response: all cats are gray in the dark. when you need or want lovins are you going to stop and take the time to profile him or are you going to relish the moment? Basically let that man love you. seal the deal!

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  49.   cutiepie43 says:
    Posted: 07 Apr 13

    I am a self assured blk woman. Why should it make any difference to any one on the planet about who Im dating &/or do doing. Opinions are like assholes every ones got one so if your thoughts are not positive regarding this subject matter keep it to ya damn self. There is enough negative stuff in the world. Why can't people see interracial dating azure a step towards the positive. Two worlds coming together, its a beautiful thing. I've also discovered the very ones that razor

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  50. Posted: 20 Feb 13

    As a Black man who has dated Black women in the past as well, I can say that my outcomes were mostly negative, not because the woman was Black, but because the woman had issues that were intolerable to deal with. I decided to date more outside of my race as a means of exploration and the women were attractive. Never once did I feel that those few Black women were the representatives of the entire Black female race. I happen to have met quite a few good Black women. Why am I not with them? Because they were involved in relationships that they were happy in, with good men. My reasons for my exploration was to expand the options for meeting a potential mate, not to discredit Black women. It just so happened that when I started dating other races, I got better results. But I confess, not all the results were positive when dating women from other ethnic groups. it's not about the race of the potential mate, it's about the character that lies within the individual you choose to date. If he/she is of a different race, what does it matter if people around you greet this in a negative manner. If the person treats you with respect, makes you happy then thats all that matters. Were all individuals, and only can be held accountable for our own actions. Unfortunately, not everyone holds to the same standard of morality and integrity. That in itself comes as a double edged sword. While the variations in morality and integrity are perfect identifying markers for determining the partner that best suits you, it's also that same morality and integrity (or lack thereof) that compels some people to act and react in negative ways if you do choose to date someone who's another race. What it comes down to is even though your experiences with Black men were bad, it doesn't mean all Black men are bad. It just means you made bad choices. As you embark on your relationships with men from other races you will find there will be good and bad experiences with them as well. You just have to be certain that the guy you're with is a decent wholesome guy who has your best interest at heart as you do his.

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    • xxsorbetxx says:
      Posted: 21 Oct 13

      Why anyone would negative this comment right here is beyond me, i sure as hell find it perfectly well written.

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    • girlygirl28 says:
      Posted: 31 Dec 13

      Somehow, you were still able to fit some negative things in your response regarding black womena and I think it's a bit childish. All you had to say is that you prefer women of other races; instead of saying "maybe bw haven't had good relationships with black men,because they've made bad choices." No, I'm quite sure that that most of the black guys I've gone on dates with in college and graduate weren't worth my time. I'm in no way confused; I have been treated better by white men and that's really the truth. There is no hidden agenda behind me and most black women's choice to date out. Other than the fact that most white men are taught to treat women with respect and are true supporter and providers of their families; that's very attractive to a woman; at least a woman with common sense. So please, save your negative comments for a page geared toward black men; this one is titled: "What kind of black woman dates a white man." This really has nothing to do with black men.

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