Is the White man the Black woman’s ideal man?
“Black women will never be happy with Black men. Black women would find fault or a reason to complain and whine because she has been convinced that no matter what the Black man does, good or bad, he will never measure up to her real idol, the White man. The White man did a wonderful job confusing black women about what ‘a man’ is.” – Lifted from some forum
This is what some Black man thinks of Black women. The war of words never seems to end…
Every woman deserves happiness … every woman deserves to be in a loving and fulfilling relationship. I do not agree with the above generalization that “Black women will never be happy with Black men” because I know quite a number of people who have made their marriages work.
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Anyhow, the thing is, any woman in a relationship with a man who doesn’t treat her way she deserves to, is well within her rights to complain. So, when a Black woman does it, she is automatically branded bitter? When a Black woman is single, she’s brought it on herself because she whines and complains too much? I mean, how do you give a woman sh**, then fault her for talking sh**?
This dude above says that Black women are convinced that Black men will never measure up to White men? I do not believe for one second that Black women actually go out of their way to find fault in Black men. In fact, most of them go out of their way in search of a Black man who is committed, loving, responsible, a man who respects her and has his sh** together. And if a successful, caring and loving Black man was pitted against an equally successful, caring and loving White man, quite a number of them would pick the Black man. So this thing about the White man being the Black woman’s real idol, I am having trouble believing…
There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a decent and honorable man in her arms. There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man that makes her proud to be his woman. All the Black woman (and any woman for that matter) wants is a man she can totally rely on - emotionally, physically, financially...
No one has confused the Black woman about what a man should be. I believe if any woman finds the above mentioned qualities in a man, she will dive right in regardless of race. Race doesn’t make a man. So, if this man with these adorable qualities happens to be White, does this mean White men are the Black woman’s definition of an ideal man?
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307 responses to "Is the White man the Black woman’s ideal man?"
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jahsymeon says:Posted: 20 Oct 10@EDNA: Your comment"BY THE WAY I DID NOT SEE ANY WHITEWOMEN DEFENDING THE BLACKMEN ON THIS SITE, MAYBE BECAUSE THEY HAVE EXPERIENCED WHAT WE BLACKWOMEN ARE TALKING ABOUT" Just to let you know, your not going to see any whitewomen starting drama in here with any sistaz, how immature would that be.. It would be the same as a seal surounded by a pool of sharks ready to be eaten on attack smmfh. And in no way possible drama is the key to solve any issue. Infact they already know how sistaz complain about every lil thing about a brutha, but not woman enough to admit their faults. So no, I don't expect any whitewomen to come in here and defend blackmen on a disscussion on a internet! besides that's not even the topic. The proof is in the pudding, not 1 blackman in here disrespected any sistaz by calling them B's H's etc that sistaz complain so much about as far as how disrespectful we are! smmfh again..
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edna says:Posted: 20 Oct 10
Cynamyn82 all what U wrote on Ur first comment, U said it ALL sister. With those weds you said, is enough to close up this chapter. But some people are now useing this opportunity to say ''trash'',or to bring out their resentment. We shouldn't forget that LOVE is a feeling. It got thing to do with material things..eh. That Feeling doesn't know if you are from a rich home or a poor home....eh. It does not see the colour of your skin....eh. The question is this, IS THE WHITE MAN THE BLACK WOMAN'S IDEAL MAN? Due to my Lovelife experience, the few men i have develop this Feeling for, they are from the White Race. And they didn't made me to regret of Loving them. So YES my Ideal Man Is a White man. If this is peeling any Black Man's skin, is left for him!
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mandee34 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10Oh wow just after reading these articles i see a trend. I believe what happened throughout history has really effected the black community in a disturbing way. Both the men and women are stating the reason why they date white men or white women. I will admit it's very hard to find a good black man nowadays but i also feel it's hard to find a good mate period because of the society we live in. People's values and morals are not prioritized correctly. The black community suffers very hard financially and economically, especially with the one parent households. It's very hard to pinpoint one area to the demise of a people. You have to research the history, culture, and current economical status, etc.. To get an understanding of why we are in the state we're in. I guess i was blessed to be raised in a middle class, black family, but i seen other family members who had a rough life. I believe one should love who they want thats a matter of personal opinon but i do find it very arrogant to offend your own race because you date another race. I actually feel if more black americans would help one another out like the mexicans, and other races. We would be in better shape. Instead we bicker with one another. look down at, and stick our noses up once we date outside our race or at a higher level through education or economic status. Instead of taking all that bad energy and worrying about who dates who, why not be a big brother or big sister to a kid. Yes i have done that myself. I also plan to teach in urban public school because regardless of who the Lord brings in my life i still love my people. I love all people to be exact. We all bleed, die, pay taxes, who the heck cares if you date a white man or woman that is your business.
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jahsymeon says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
@00SEVEN: The facts you posted are 100% tru, but what about the blackmen? If it was no blackmen it most definately would'nt be no blackwomen! You all came from are rib."Don't leave us bruthaz out sista"... @FORRESTSMILES: My point exactly, just like I stated in my previous posts: how you have the slave ownerz way of thinking as white man, which is so similar to a slithering snake in the grass. Out of your own mouth stating"THERE IS NO ONE MORE SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE" of corse speaking on blackwomen!!! But you said nothing that had to do with what's in their hearts smh. Also,"NO ONE HE WANTS TO ADORE MORE" "NO ONE ELSE HE WANTS TO LOOK AT" meaning: watch!! Plus"HAVE HIS WAY WITH" And that is the mind state of a slave owner... Expressing you'll open an account at victoria secret for a blackwoman? clearly I see that is the bait your using, and sadly it's working for blackwomen that would take you on your offer to brag to their friends what a guy has done for them! And I find it very strange that you have the money and for some strange reason your on the internet searching for a angry sista to take advantage of for your sexuall fantasies and desires"LOVING HER IN EVERY POSITION POSSIBLE"SMMFH.. By the way, don't ever speak on no blackman when you don't have accurate facts, you listening to what a female say about another man, now how does that make you look as a man???? I'm quite sure you probably don't hang or associate with us bruthaz what so ever, but it's obvious why you on here speaking on us calling us tyrones and assuming that we dawg are women out! Not once any brutha in this room spoke on what whitewomen experienced dealing with whitemen. But again your using your bait to satisfy your fantasy with many confused blackwomen on here, such as "I COOK , SMOKE RIBS AND CHICKEN" I just knew you were going to throw the watermelon and biscuits/cornbread in there smmfh.. And to speak on getting front row seats to madea, yea it's clear you get your knowledge of what my bruthaz and sistaz like through word of mouth and watching our movies.. Should I speak on movies that expose your kind and culture like:"ROOTS"AMISTAD"ROSEWOOD"BLACKDIAMOND"A TIME TO KILL"MISSISSIPPI BURNING"etc Hmm, need I say more? @MOVIEMANIA: Your just a typical blind sista that don't want to see things for what they are, I want you to go to a whiteman, and please hurry and run to his arms!!! lol 1less sista I have to worry about.. @JAN: In your post you stated,"BLACKMEN NEVER APPROACHED YOU", that being said how all of a sudden us bruthaz become controlling? Are you trying to say that we're controlling because we seek women of a different ethnicity and happy with them? Just curious!!! To be straight up with you sista I think you put a hell of alot of extras saying that the bruthaz from the fb team and bb team made a comment saying what a waste, as for you walking with a whiteman as a friend. What I think happend is, since the bruthaz never acknowledged you, it dawned on you to get a whiteguy as a friend and walk with him to see if you were going to get a reaction from the bruthaz. But sadly your plan failed and the bruthaz still did'nt acknowledge you because they were into the whitewomen they were with and not worried about who you were with! So you come on here with your lil lies saying that blackmen get angry seeing a blackwoman with a whiteman. lol BS And to sit there and say we are controlling you should atleast be more detailed.. @DEMMY: Sorry that happend to you sista, Much love!!! @LOVELY LADY C: Your just turned off on blackmen period, if I were to come up to you and say hello, my name is **** how are you doing today my beautiful sista? you'd probably look at me with your top lip turned up like ugh and role your eyes and keep walking, basically ignore me. But if a whiteman say hello!!! You would have a koolaid smile. But then again your just 1less sista that I have to worry about :). And if you hav'nt had a brutha that been a gentleman to you, obviously you must not be worth two dead flies. Decisions you make for who you chose to be with is your fault not no one elses, so don't say"BLACKMEN DON'T HAVE ANY MANNERS" "BLACKMEN ARE'NT THE GENTLEMEN TYPE" Come on now, come correct or don't come at all!!! @PUMPKIN22: I love your posts!! *HUGZ* @CYNAMYN: I already sensed the anger you had towards bruthaz, the white ppl you been around and grew up with obviously brain washed you completely, i see could just see you now laughing with your white friends while the calling you all kind of "N"words and grease monkey. As dark and black as you are, you have no place what so ever to disrespect your people like that. how you going to call ANTHONY2012 a "BLACK COON"? And all of you sistaz on here should be shamed of yourself by not putting her in her place by being as ignorant as she is! Not 1time has a brutha on here called anyone of you sistaz on here out of your names. I'm knowing all you snake mf's in the background reading and smiling at your work of brain washing so many of our women smh... @SEETY2: Your post proove you to be angry and also ignorant! Ice neva disrespected you.. All my brutha did was speak the truth and just like most of you sistaz in here are bitter and angry to what bruthaz have to say, even though facts are there you all are giving thumbs down to what us bruthaz have to say! MYSELF, RUDE BOY, ANTHONY, ICE... Not one of us disrespected yall, but then again it shows the hate yall have in your hearts just like your ideal men. Just like I said previously "BLACKWOMEN AND WHITEMEN ARE SO SIMILAR" The more thumbs down by whitemen and blackwomenin here is how you all don't want are true posts to show. Let's hide what the blackmen have to say and let's see the sista make all black people look bad... smmfh @SISSY2004: ICE was'nt being disrespectful towards you, who you should've came at like that is"SEETY2" By the way wtf is a SEETY? lol
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
Have you read any of my posts on these forums?? I think not!! Check yourself and read EVERYTHING before you come at me, because you sound awfully foolish! Like I said before and will say again, there is a difference between black people and coons. If someone portrays himself to be a coon, I will call him out on that and I will feel no remorse. I never bashed black men as a whole, only the ones who feel the need to taunt us (black women) for wanting to interracially date, just like Anthony2012 did, but of course he and others wants to cover it up and call it the "truth", LOL. Also, what about the hostility directed towards black women from those who commented on this forum? You didn't feel the need to put them in their places right? It must be impossible for them to do any wrong (sarcasm). Nothing black men did made me bitter. He did not rape me, beat me, or steal from me, so why would I hate any of you? If I see a good black man (which I have seen in and outside of my family on many occasions), I acknowledge him. I just have my preferences, that's all. So I'm supposed to be silent when someone attacks me for that?? PLEASE....not gonna happen!!!
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
jahsymeon, You might want to read the comments before you come at me foolishly. At this point, nothing you said if of any substance what soever. I have said time and time again that I have no hatred in my heart for black men and have seen a handful of good ones in and outside of my family. I just have my preferences, that's all. If someone is going to bash me for them (just like you and Anthony are doing), they should expect to be told off....simple!! I'm not going to sit here and take insults from anyone who is bitter towards who I choose to date. Have you asked your boy what he said to me, that made me respond to him the way I did? I didn't think so. If someone behaves like a coon, I will call them out on it. How he feels is irrelevant to me. Don't dish out what you can't handle.
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edna says:Posted: 16 Oct 10
BLACK OR WHITE, LATINO OR ASIAN I DEDICATE THE VIDEO MUSIC OF TINA TURNER( I DON'T WANT TO LOOSE YOU) TO ALL OF YOU. BY THE WAY I DID NOT SEE ANY WW DEFENDING THE BM ON THIS SITE MAYBE IS BCOS THEY HAVE EXPERIENCE WHAT WE BW ARE TAKLING ABOUT HAHAHA...LOL
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Anthony2012 says:Posted: 17 Oct 10No its because the good thing about large number of white women is they dont want drama like black women do...they dont run there mouth like black women do ..YaoYapYapyao yap..they do bicker ..but no where near in light years to white women plus there mire reserved with their opinions and observations,,there not so quick to argue and debate as black women are and that makes them more sought after and the chemistry is more open and erect than some Sad , slumped no energy for life, You say hello and she act like she knows your intentions already, dead energy black person .......Who wants that ?
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Joi.b says:Posted: 15 Oct 10
Now of to look at the profile of some handsome white, latino, and asian men. Bye-bye
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Joi.b says:Posted: 15 Oct 10
Wow! This is a "interracial dating site" right? First thing, I dated only bm, now I would like to try different races. I don't care what bm think, say, or do. I don't live my life around them. I don't plan my schedule around them. I am here to meet someone of another race and I thought that was agenda for everyone here. Ladies find your soulmate. My goal is to be one of the success stories. I don't have time to get into it with a a bm who is on this site looking to date a BW because he says that the ones going after the white men are more educated. Now who is confused?
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knackname says:Posted: 15 Oct 10As a white man. I have found that beautiful, intelligent, loyal and sensual black women are a wonderful untapped resource and a best kept secret. I love to treat any woman as a queen until she proves me wrong. The most important thing for a black woman dating a white man to remember? She is his equal and race must be totally put aside. We must judge on character and not race. P. s., I am a very conservative white male!
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hoppy4u says:Posted: 15 Oct 10Hello everyone, I must say, that this has been an interesting line of conversation! I am about as white as white can be, being 1/2 Danish, 3/8 Scottish, and 1/8 English. And I’m very proud of my heritage, as everyone should be. And to put this into context, I have lived in Idaho and Eastern Oregon for all of my life. The Western United States. Not because I had to, but because I have wanted to. I have travelled through most of our great nation, have experienced our great nation, and enjoyed our great nation. In this “Red – Conservative” region, I have managed to date women of ALL ethnicities. This includes: Black, White, Philippine, Japanese, Chinese, Native American, Hispanic, Russian, Moldavian, lots. I have dated mostly white women mostly as they're being the only women available to date,not because of want. I have been treated good and bad by all. My experience has been less than good with white women. In MY OPINION, women of “ethnicity” have for the most part, treated me more like a man than the white women. Women that have I have dated have made it quite cleat that it has been a privilege to go out with them and that ALL MEN should be required to take care of them, no matter how the women treat us men. Additionally, the women of “ethnicity” have treated me better and truly cared for me. They also wanted EVERYONE to know that “I was THEIR man” and they would let that be known through subtle, slight jesters of hand-holding or just plain snuggling up against me, essentially “marking their turf”. But I can truly and honestly say this without remorse. I do not care if you’re Black, White, Pink, or Purple, a witch is a witch, and a prick is a prick. It doesn’t matter what color you are, that holds true for ANYONE! A good woman is a good woman, and a good man is a good man. And men, if you EVER lay hands on ANY woman in anger, YOU ARE NOT A MAN!!! You are the excrement that comes out of a flea’s ass! I don’t care if you “think” she deserves it, you are the lowest level of scum on earth! Additionally, an educated person is a better off person and yes, it is a personal choice to be educated. I have worked damn hard to have the education that I have and it was not just given to me. Plus, I am continuing to expand my education because I know that having that under my belt will give me the opportunities that I want to have for my future. Lastly, it is MY CHOICE to seek out a Black Woman. I am very much drawn to you, I think you are beautiful, you are sensual and seductive. But I find it’s a certain woman that I am attracted to, and I would imagine that that would hold true for anyone. A good woman will be a good woman for any man, and a good man will be a good man for any woman. I myself, find a black woman to be my ideal woman.
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Lacrymosa777 says:Posted: 14 Oct 10
Love has no color it is just love. Take away the color and replace with trust, honor and respect. Since every human being has their own set of eyes, beauty falls in the eyes of the beholder. Peace, love and may God bless. :)
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 14 Oct 10
"First of all any black women who is using a white guy because she can’t find what she really wants incased in black skin. Is as much a failure as any other. Not clever to go from a failed relationship with a black man to a fake relationship with a white man. Big ass fail. You better hope the white boy doesn’t find out or you’ll be getting your ass dropped off suit cases and all." -Artymarty WOW!!!! The rest of your post was great but this part did it for me. Kudos!
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Artymarty says:Posted: 12 Oct 10
First of all any black women who is using a white guy because she can't find what she really wants incased in black skin. Is as much a failure as any other. Not clever to go from a failed relationship with a black man to a fake relationship with a white man. Big ass fail. You better hope the white boy doesn't find out or you'll be getting your ass dropped off suit cases and all. Out side a black owned business, with the words "I hear the boss is on the top floor go win his heart" haha Second the topic heading in it's self is insulting. And designed to put black men down and force them to become defensive. Whilst making black women look insincere, issue ridden and corrupt in their agenda. And of course some black women are. It's a bit like saying if black men got their act together a black women would never look at a white man. LoL Clearly you've never met any black women who like white guys. Let's look at the reality. People are the same the world over. Each race culturally dates and marries into it's self because of traditions, culture oh and the main reason locality. We make relationships with the people we grow up around. It's hard to avoid really. It's also easier to stick by what you know and recognize. It's that whole being a part of a group thing humans just can't live without. If they look like me they must be my kind of people LoL. How untrue is that in practice. So the chinese women has been dis-respected, cheated on, dis-satisfied, frustrated by, and probably in some cases murdered the damn fool, we call the chinese man. For the same reason black women, white women, asian women, latin women, who ever have all been shat on by their respective fools from their own ethnic groups the world over. Face it fella's no matter what ethnic group we are born in, we are born sinners. We will cheat, we will stray, we will abuse, dis-respect our lives, wives and selves. So black men chin up your not the only wasters out there LoL To make the illogical decision to branch out and try men out from different ethnic groups then your own. In order to avoid being shat on and find a suitable mate. Doesn't really make sense. It's a false remedy for a universal problem.. In fact it does two things. It widens the pool of men who can now shit on you or it widens the pool of men who won't. Interracial dating doesn't make it easier it just makes it wider. To have a few bad relationships with men who happen to be black. Does not justify turning to a man of any different ethnic group to find a winner. Because your just as likely to come across another bad man who just so happens to be white. If you want a true balance you must compare a bad black man to a good black man. Not a bad black man to a good white man. Because that in fact creates an in-balance. It's no different then the media or in films. When to over emasculate black men. They manipulate things by placing a sad sorry ass pathetic white dude and stick him in the hood with a bunch of heavy built scary black guys. Fact is, turn that around and stick a sorry ass black dude around a bunch of heavy built scary ass white bikers and you get the same effect only in the other direction. My point is you don't take the worst of one race and pitch it against the best of another. It's a unfair comparison. That's set up to give you the bias your already after. Turning from a black man to a white man because of a bad experience is a wrong way to react to that bad experience. Why corrupt it. Get rid of the guy because he's a waste of time and stop making the fact he's black an issue. There are just as many white guys out there who are a waste of your time. I mean really any black women who has been on here for 6 months will have that settled in her mind. She is bound to of come across at least 1 or 2 white creeps by now. The fact is women from every race the world over are dissatisfied with their relationships. Because of human reasons not racial reasons. A women wants a good man. A man who will for fill what ever it is they are looking for in a man. (I'm not even going to try and explain what that is LoL). When they find that man it shouldn't matter if he's from another country or another race. If your not balled over by finding another human been who loves you and cares for you. In a way you are more then happy to accept ..... you really haven''t been shat on enough have you. Black men you know what to do LoL (joke .... it was a joke ... stop planning a march) White men are not a black women's ideal choice. If you took a sound minded, handsome, established black man and compared him with the same from any race. You'd just have a group of equally good men. And I guess it would come down to who ever or which ever you really hit it off with and have the best chemistry with. After that if you yourself decided to really take to the fact he was white or black because of certain features you like about him. Then that's up to you. But it should never be in a way to put down another man or another race. Only to establish things you've become really attracted to because of the intimacy of your focus on that particular man. A black women should be able to find a white man attractive without taking anything away from a black man. Can't a black women like Brad Pit without insulting Denzel Washington. You can like both equally but for different reasons. It's not a competition nor is there any need to pitch one against the other. And by the way when a successful white man puts down a looser black dude. That's no real victory. Because it's easy and obvious. There's no real truth in a black woman's argument when she says she's had enough of black men and gave them a chance and is now only into white men. It's a deluded state of mind that places an over emphasis on the type of black men she has experienced over the lesser experience she's had with white men. She's simply taking herself out of her original pond and placing herself in the same pond white women have been in from birth. All she is doing is stopping anymore black men shitting on her. And only allowing white men to do so. At the same time however she is also stopping any black men from satisfying her. As a white man who likes women of different races. I still look for the same in a women and for a relationship that is based on the same things I would want, expect and get from a white women. Trust me the fact your black will have no power to keep me if the substance of those things I stated above are lacking. Like most people I go where I'm treated best and a black women can shit on me just like a white women. Women are just like us they are the same the world over. A black women who gives a black guy drama will give any guy drama. Interracial dating should never be about restraining or stopping your own race from advancement. But giving other races the same opportunity they've had the entire time you've been alive. The ideal match for a black women is the same as any other women. The man of any race, colour or creed she so happens to be ideally matched with.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 13 Oct 10
Artymarty, This post was well written and makes so much SENSE. Sadly, when it comes to IR dating the rule of thumb for a lot of pro-IR black women is you can't date, value, respect, and/or love a non-black man without demeaning, degrading, and bashing black men in the process. I know, this is a generalization, but I've posted on too many boards (this one included) where this is the case. I'm just HAPPY that I can view every single bad relationship I've had with a black woman as distinct, and not a NEGATIVE reflection of every single black woman on the planet, because if I did, I'd be just as SCREWED-UP (If not more so) than a lot of the black women who post here. In a perfect world, or something that remotely approaches it, a woman (especially a black woman) should be able to love a man for the content of his character, NOT the color of his skin. The REALITY doesn't even come close, and to be honest, it's not going to for at least another 200 years, and that's being optimistic. LOL Anyway, GREAT POST.
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brownclown says:Posted: 15 Oct 10ArtyMarty, your dissertation(smile) is fun reading but a bit naïve and idealistic. You are right about at least one thing. Hang around this website long enough and you are sure to meet a few repugnant white men who are not eligible partners and who could not hold a candle to some of the black men us women have met in the past. Still, in reality we are all a little corrupt in our thinking about what makes a good partner. Our views about certain ethnic groups have been prejudiced by the media, our families, friends, past experiences etc and Black men have become an acceptable target for public bashing, which I agree is very unfortunate. Yet these prejudices absolutely play a role in the choices we make regardless of our gender and/or ethnicity. I would bet that there are plenty of white men who choose black women solely because they have certain unfounded expectations about us. He may think that he is going to get a certain kind of sexual experience or that she is going to put him in touch with certain aspects of black culture that he is intrigued with or other 'fetishes' so to speak. That’s real. That’s just life.
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Mayo45 says:Posted: 12 Oct 10
I really don't care who dates who. Wherever your heart is then "thats where its at. I've been profiled because of race and I have profiled people because of race. I really have been working hard on myself in that area. Even in the moment of being profiled I've been working hard with great success to be a better person and a good man for a good woman. If some black women are attracted to white men so what? I think God made us all in his image so whats the question all about anyway! There are plenty of singles around. Look deep within yourself, correct whats not right and " Keep it movin" God will honor your honesty and willing to be a better person and will deliver you the woman or man of your liking!
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forrestsmiles says:Posted: 11 Oct 10
I would say that most black women appreciate me for how hard I try and for me being myself. With age comes maturity and I am interested in pleasing my woman in every way. Let me, as a white man, who dates pretty much only black women state what my reasons are. A black woman with some class, who is proud of how she looks in her tight jeans and high heels or how she looks behind closed doors is extremely attractive to me. A black woman typically has beautiful skin, beautiful lips, many times a pretty smile with bright white teeth and bright eyes, wonderful curves and if she is trim and takes care of herself and is blessed with good genes… there is no one more sexually attractive, no one I want to adore more, no one else I want to look at or have my way with. As a man, I can still stray, but it is not as much in my nature or my culture, or as acceptable. Appreciate me, touch me, be affectionate with me, dress for me, go to ALL the trouble you do with your hair, to look good for me, be late on a date cuz you are working hard to look HOTT for me, and I will be loyal to you, and i will love you. I will buy beautiful clothes and open an account at Victoria Secret for you, I will take you to the best restaurants (that I can afford), I will take you to a play, the theatre, to ballet, to see Tyler Perry’s “Madea”, (front row seats last week in Miami… cost me a fortune)… I will love you in every position i can think of, i will live our everyday life as excitiing and fun as i can, i will make you laugh, i will be myself with you… at times, be the macho man that i am, and at times, be a bit vulnerable… letting you see that side of me. I will cook for you, i will smoke ribs and chicken for you on Sunday, i will take you fishin and come home and cook it outside so as not to stink up your clean house… I will lay down my jacket across a puddle to allow you to pass, not getting those spiked over the knee boots wet. ( OK, check that, you may have to settle for a piggy back ride there). I think a black woman appreciates the qualities i present and generally appreciate a good man, because she has been cheated on, because the former Tyrone’s in her life have never stepped up, never kept their word, treated them poorly, denied them the opportunity to advance, demeaned them and broke down their self image and confidence, culturally and otherwise. Some black women are very independent as well, and have done it for themselves for so long, they don’t really NEED a man. That does not threaten me, i admire an intelligent black woman. As long as they appreciate me for being there and loving them, as long as they share my life with me equally, not wanting a sugar daddy, I will return that love with the same love… and then some. I don’t see me feeling that way about white women in general… not putting anyone down, i think it is just in my genes… it is just raw attraction and preference. A black women knows how to take care of her man… in, and out of the bedroom. I LOVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN !
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Teetee1117 says:Posted: 13 Oct 10Hey there what type of tickets are you buy again lol I... just kidding. I enjoyed your comments thanks for loving us Ebony sisters so much. TeeTee
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Anthony2012, says:Posted: 20 Oct 10
Forrestsmiles seems to be shopping for weak minded , materalistic black women in exchange for fullfillment of his fantasies and sterotypical observations of black women and culture, How you gonna mention madea , sunday barbecues,chicken and ribs ?.Trips ?..Plus you said you own a development that houses black people, Sounds like the slave master who observing his plantation and turned on by the sensation !....This Here is an prime example of a man who is not genuine about his true and overall intentions which he states in his article......Black women need men who are going to be authentic in there approach, not because of they are willing to solicite gifts and trips thats a lame with no real game!.......And you mentioned sum black men as tyrones ?..... Wow you will say n do anything to get a taste of a black woman huh ?.. What you think because you dated a few black women in the past , that You picked up on black "Slang" vocabulary ....and how we communicate with each other that you Base what you think black women want on racial stereo types , how ignorant is that ?. thats like me stating to a white woman " date me and I will make you soup and crackers with deer meat!".or I will cream cheese all the bagels you want" And take you front row to see the Ossie and Dave " or I will talk about all the "jakes" johns ,tuckers and bobby's that didnt manipulate you like Im trying to do !.... lol....whats reality is that alot of women fall for that, A yo for real -real -reconize -real game..Period!...
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nicknack83 says:Posted: 11 Oct 10
The white man is my ideal, along with Latino and Asian.
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Teetee1117 says:Posted: 09 Oct 10
I don't think a white man is a better choice than a black man. He just happens to be the perferred choice of mine. But when I explore this more and more it seems most here on this dating site are here to play games. I was married to a white man that passed on, and we loved each other deeply, and it was at the point that I only saw the man not the color of his skin. I'm not saying I did n't know he was white lol just that we grew past that to another level. So I know that I will one day experice that level of love again I have not given up, just not willing to play games with a man white or black to reach it. Good luck to all that are seeking to find there soul mate here on this site....
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blkbarbie001 says:Posted: 09 Oct 10I think that almost every woman and man does know what they are looking for, it just may not be you... All black women do not like thugs, and so on... Some do not let race be an issue, they just want happiness in life. If I choose to be with a white man, then it is because he is a great person and he may be what I am looking for in a man, not because of the color of his skin, to which the same applys for a black man. We are all human, and children of God, so it should not matter about color at all. If we continue to date only our own race then it would never change the old ways of life. We are all now one, and free to enjoy what we have left of our life, so step outside the box and think positive.. Good luck to all, and may we all be blessed in finding that special someone who is willing to overlook our flaws and love our positives.
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kissime says:Posted: 09 Oct 10Cynamyn82, thank you. He is definitely preaching to the wrong crowd...HA! ...Need a little help finding your way to the right site, sir? GOOGLE IT! ;)
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 18 Oct 10
Kissime...my pleasure :)
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
I don't mean to single you out, but take a read at what BlkBarbie and Tee Tee have written. In both cases they made their point and didn't need to belittle or undress anyone in public. In other words they placed their wisdom of what's right for them in front of their knowledge of talking about what's wrong and who's to blame.
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Anthony2012, says:Posted: 20 Oct 10
Lol , this is PROOF how bigoted and eager for an assist in her remarks from another sista in reference to what Im sayin ,-Cynamyn is ,I made a comment and statement on Oct 17th .cynamyn replied on the the comment Oct17th too right after my comment was made rite , now under hers then God father made a comment , followed by kissme making a comment and saying "Thank you he is definately preaching to the wrong crowd"Then cynamyn makes a comment after kissme did , Acknowledging back to kissme "My pleasure" disullusioned that kissme is in agreement with her , Because kissme comment "Thank you he is definately preachin to the wrong ctowd" was made on Oct 8th , lol but My comment was created onOct 17th!. nine days after kissme 's "Thank you he is preaching to the wrong crowd remark ..lol...cynamyn is thanking her on Oct 17th thinking shes supporting her statement about me hahahaha.....,Do you see She is so eager find someone to help build her up thst she doesnt even realize , that kissme isnt even referring to being aganist me or my statement the dates dont lie !!.......seems sum people are so stuck in there ways that it becomes clearly blinding.......
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Anthony2012, says:Posted: 20 Oct 10
Cynamyn thinks kissme on Oct 18th thats an correction!! and it you look at it kissmes statement was never meant for me ....see for yourselves
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Rudeboy888 says:Posted: 08 Oct 10
I don't think Black women have any idea what they want. Time and time again you see Black women chase after these "thug" types or spend years with disloyal, no-good men. Only to come back after years of having their beauty and lives sucked from them, and claim that they want a good Black man, as if they deserve one. It's all about choices, and many Black women make bad ones. You can't see Black men dating White women as a slap in the face. Apparently White women are seeing something that the Black women are not seeing. As a Black man, I feel no threat at all from a White man when it comes to dating or anything for that matter. The same sense of royalty that Black women see in themselves, I feel also. Black men are the most desired men on the planet now. Luckily for many of us, we have more options than simply having to deal with Black women who don't truly know what's best for them.
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 08 Oct 10
LOL.....a slap in the face? Who said that we see it that way? You're preaching to the wrong crowd here, sir. This in an interracial dating site, just in case you didn't notice. More than likely the black women on here will not care about you getting with white women. It would be awfully hypocritical if any of us did. Go ahead and do you. I hope you find what you're looking for.
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Anthony2012 says:Posted: 17 Oct 10
Hey rudeboy88 I hear you mann because these black women on here in this colum are the ones to avoid black or white they overly cater to white men and for some its the truth !...True story: cynamyn on here I noticed was checkin out my profile , because of my views on different topics on here ...So wen I requested that she stay away from my profile,, She replied with " calling Me A Black "Coon"something no white man has ever called me before ,ever And that racist remark from someone that is 3 shades darker than me just let me now the raccial anger and hatred she has boiling inside her!..sneaky but I saw rite thru her all along on here but I must SAY I WAS HYSTERICAL and ASTOUNISHED all together !..So not only were cynamyn's comments always pro -womens But she is camoflodging her true resentments on here in the forefront like "hey everybody get along and B.S. And in private she is actually a dangerous hypocrite and hater of her own race and most black Who are dark skinned like her are ,indeed haters of their own color, and thats why they date the opposite of what they look like because they dont like there own skin....But this cynamyn is a true uncle tom for calling Me a black coon !...And she darker than me !.Lmaoo...just had to expose her ..And she cant lie I still have the email in my box if Anyone wants to see it I can forward it to you.......Free of charge !
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 18 Oct 10
LOL...I don't dislike my own skin color, Anthony. I just dislike you. I know the difference between black people and coons, which is why I called you one. Go ahead and show them the message I sent, I've nothing to hide :)
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
You know you my friend you can disagree with someone without being disagreeable...
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Soltis says:Posted: 04 Oct 10This has been enlightening, WOW. The level of hostility and anger is frightening. Most BW & BM forget or never learned the basic truth of our race (the paper bag), throughout history BM & BW were ingrained with that simple idealism. I have witnessed BM & BW mistreat each other for alot of reasons which when you really examine the main cause is materialistic & unrealistic. BW next time you think negative, think Rock (the show...age showing) there is a good example of disparity in income (she was an RN) and respect for your mate (sanitation worker) never used it as an excuse or rationalization for behavior. To continually look at ethnicity in yourself & others as a gauge for their actions is belittling & helps to foster the stereotypes. WM (God knows not all of any ethnicity) do bring something different to the table a WM's upbringing, opportunities, experience, education & social connections make for an interesting partner, who has not been subjugated to the present & past slander BM have endured, expected & received. This disparity influences BM & BW relationships, however, neither/or is the beginning & the end. It just opens doors & god bless those that have already stepped through it. After my divorce, it was necessary to be Mom, Dad, Friend, confident, spiritual leader, counselor, etc...to two BM who are now adults. Those crazy people had some of the same issues, I like to think of them as conversations which I squashed like a bug. Limited thinking, low expectations, designer clothes (made them get a job), good hair & bad hair (directing their attention to those who have an illness & no hair, while always giving a prayer for recovery), me talking like a white woman (have you seen where I come from, did you go on vacation while on vacation in Gram's living room). Acknowledge, clarify, move on because the next "conversation" may not be so easy. Kudos to me. Both of my sons are opinionated fact checkers, oldest is a college grad majored in Business Administration Minor in PR, youngest in college Major Economics Minor Finance (he loves how many works), both interested in financial success through hard work (misconception celebrity success comes easy it is some hard work, like to point out the obvious) and they like to refer to me for advice, Kudos to me. It is entirely possible to have an opinion without pointing fingers, it is entirely possible to denigrate someones reply, it is entirely too easy to lash out as opposed to acceptance of experiences. Personally, I think all of us BW, BM, WM & WW & every ethnic culture have access to too much information without really experiencing each culture. To assume is too make an xxx out of u & me, walk in anothers shoes before your presumptions & experiences, before you imagine their backgrounds are similar to your own. Here are some pointers: 1. Just accept where you come from & who you are how it influenced your speech, mannerisms, & idelogy (this is you) then walk away from those without respect or appreication of your difference (I grew up in a town where in HS each grade had 2-4 black students out of almost 2,000 students, culture shock outside of that world) if you don't see yourself as worthy & beautiful...who will? 2. Look at the hurt, disilllustion, & mistreatment as a bad haircut or terrible perm (find a new barber). Only you can decide how long you'll sit in that chair. 3. Hate, hate, hate the patterns...Love, love, love each individual individually. 'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.' You can forgive but not forget keeping your forgiveness on lockdown will only keep your soul in limbo. George Santayana, Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284". Were all familiar with the variation. 4. BM & BW need to reexamine their priorities. Have you ever noticed that for other ethnic groups the person is the focus. You'll see rich with poor, educated with not the same level, behaviour & mannerism polar opposite...its called tolerance (not standards...standards act as a model of your desires). Shoot I want a Mayback (spelling ?) But I drive an Acura, should I catch the bus? 5. Reasons (everyone has one get and stick to yours, realistically, statiscal data (easily manipulated to serve any purpose derivited from the content), societal standards (has not caught up yet, (don't willfully hurt others, tolerate ignorance, condone injustice -within reason, be an adult - pen, blog, articles, forums do so much more damage....lol), familial obligations (hard one but distance is great equalizer till visitations...LMAO). To quote Forest Gump's Mom, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get". Run Forest, Run!!!! FYI: No one ethnicity, individual, mannerism, etc...is the same...If we were WHY get up & go out each day.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 04 Oct 10
Thank you my friend and many Kudos to you and your boys. I have two daughters out of college, one has her Masters while the other has her Bachelors, with a 13 year old daughter who is on her school's "Principal's List". I have and will continue to raise them to be color blind, but know the great history of being black. In addition, I have two Mentees that I'm very proud of; both are maintaining 3.89 GPAs at USC Engineering School versus "banging and slanging" here in LA. My mentoring group teaches us to always be humble, but teach others who we are...push back from negative bombardment and show tolerence to all. Again I would like to thank you as I think what you've written has done an excellent job in explaining the following; "Love is the answer....its a gift from God." PS Bentley rules over Maybach! :-)
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Soltis says:Posted: 05 Oct 10
Thank you and Kudos to you, your daughters & Mentees...your success is what we all should strive to achieve. Bentley's, come on now,Maybach (thanks for the spelling...lol) rules!!! -)
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Anthony2012 says:Posted: 17 Oct 10
You now if we really cared about our communities and stuck together without showcasing it on a city march or something , then maybe color and this conversation would be non invoid, especially when other economical and social aspects alwsys come into play in these decisions.....
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
Anthony, are you familiar with the 100 Black Men of America? We do some serious work in the Black community....Google us.
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ivydiva1908 says:Posted: 11 Oct 10Sistagirl! Congrats to you for raising 2 fine sons. As a single parent myself, this road has not always been easy. However, with the grace of the Lord Himself and the best relatives (my mama and daddy) in the world, I now have two children in college! There are really wonderful Black men out there (my father, brother, and other men I know), unfortunately most of them are taken by their now mates. At the end of the day, I would like to think that everyone wants to be loved and be in love-I know that I do- and whatever the Lord brings to you, be openminded and accepting. Black men, White men they are all the same-there are some good and bad apples in both of the barrels. At this point in the lives of many, single, Black women, we just want a life mate; someone to see our worth and know that we are more that "angry, bitter, messy women". I love Black men! Now will the man the Lord sends me look like me? Who knows and who really gives a fat baby's behind! I am ready to spoil my mate, hold hands, make out like we are teenagers, and grow old together! Whether he looks like Opie Taylor or Idris Elba, who cares as long as he respects me, loves me, spoils me, and knows that my God made me just for him. Life is too short to continue to rehash old business and wounds-I think as a race of people, we may want to spend our time reclaiming our children instead of worrying about who is sleeping and marrying whom. Peace and Blessings everyone!
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rarestgold says:Posted: 03 Oct 10
Saying black women dislike black men or don't find them worthy is crap. I have the upmost respect for my father and my brothers and many other black men, who are really awesome guys. At this point in my life I'm just looking for a good man and not focusing on color. I prefer to think of it as keeping my options open for love. I have choosen not to limit myself and that is just a matter of preference.
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Anthony2012 says:Posted: 03 Oct 10
Well Its about time about time !And Im soo happy that the two most Ignorant peole on the planet Are finally getting together -Black women and white men , I think there perfect for each other !... Know that there together Maybe just maybe they can leave the rest of us who date outside our race alone becausr instead of eye balling , makin noises , laughing , and raising eyebrows they can join in to there real wants and needs disguised by envy and hate ..Lmaoo... BON Appetite !. ...because really the beyonces , debbie allens , keisha coles ,trina's of the world dont want white men anyway they want the real soul if black men, and most of the black women who do date whiye men arent all that wonderful looking to be missing out on anything anyways......nexy time ur out just observe the black woman when shes with a white man and you will see !......
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kissime says:Posted: 30 Sep 10
Attraction is powerful-- passion and desire runs though my soul without ammunition. Eyes wide open as continuous adrenaline pumps~and no, it is not detrimental. It seizes me to love~ as my mind travels to unimaginable worlds. The sparrow on my neck dives towards my heart as you stare intensely with mouth slightly open--lost in the palpitation of my pulse. Sounds faints. We are the tranquil ~ yet strong sound of beating drums...nothing matters. We've carved our heart songs on rocks. The silence reveals the truth...our love. Author~ FA Also known as Kissime
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pennstate010 says:Posted: 29 Sep 10
Thus far I have only dated black men or men of color (Haitian, African, etc). Through the years I constantly come up with the 'short stick," meaning never being able to find the right one. Whether he has had multiple women, no goals, or was about just playing games. So now, I'm ready for a change in my life, something different! I'm not sure what a white man would bring to the table, but if he can treat me like a woman should be treated then I'm all for him. I think that a lot of black men measure up and in some cases excel pass white men. I just think when that excel does happen black men forget about the GOOD black women in society. BUT I must give credit to the couples that do make it and are loving to one another. Personally, I'm done trying something that doesn't workout. So I've joined this site to explore all my options. Try something that I've always wanted to try, but was scared to take that first step....So wish me luck as I wish the rest of you!!
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 05 Oct 10
Good luck my friend and do exactly what you said; "explore your options". Don't limit yourself to one type of man, but give our Asian, Indian, East Indian, and Latin brothers a chance at the prize. So take a deep breath and go for it! By the way, if it doesn't workout then come on back, we'll be waiting for you... In the words of Jill Scott; "The fact is...I need you."
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Jan says:Posted: 28 Sep 10@armymedic and others with his line of thinking- well said;)
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brownclown says:Posted: 28 Sep 10
Jahsymeon, thanks for your bold support of the truth...which is what will set us free. You're right, some black women never consider dating black men. I believe that the majority of us want to be mated with a black man but feel hopeless in that pursuit. The breakdown between black men and women is horrifying to me. Our communities suffer. And for those women who do mate with a black man, what about all the children who have to witness the strife between their parents. There are so very many black women of all classes dealing with a baby's father who is not reaching his potential. It's really ironic. We black women, regardless of educational level...many of us continue to have children by black men but loose these men as life partners after the children are born. Hugz back
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jahsymeon says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
I AGREE WITH BROWN 100%, BUT ON THAT NOTE! SENSE ALOT OF BLACK MEN DON'T HAVE THE SAME EDUCATION OR WORK AS BLACK WOMEN THAT BECOMES A BIG PROBLEM RIGHT THERE AS FOR WHO'S THE BREAD MAKER AND WHO BRING IN THE MOST. ITS LIKE ALOT OF SISTAZ NOT ALL IGNORE THAT BLACK MEN ARE NOT EXCEPTED IN CERTAIN MID OR HIGH CLASS WHITE COMMUNITIES . IT'S BEEN PROOVEN THAT CAUCASIANS GET BETTER EDUCATION THEN AFRICAN AMERICANS ETC. THAT LIVE IN LOW CLASS COMMUNITIES. MY POINT IS, JUST LIKE THESE SISTAZ SAID IN THEIR POST THEY GREW UP IN WHITE COMMUNITIES SO THEY MITE HAVE BEEN ONES TO GET THAT GOOD EDUCATION AND JOB, AND JUST LIKE A LITTLE BLACK GIRL THAT GROWS UP PLAYING WITH WHITE FEMALE BARBIE DOLLS, SHE GROWS UP THINKING BEING WHITE IS PRETTY AND ETC.. SOO IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE WHY A DARKSKINNED SISTA TONE AND ACSENT PLUS STYLE CHANGE JUST TO FIT IN WITH THE WHITE CROWD BECAUSE SHE AFRAID OF NOT BEING ACCEPTED BY THEM... BUT I LOVED YOUR POST@BROWN *HUGZ*
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Armymedic71 says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
You know it would really be nice to see everyone in this great big world of ours to just get along. For the life of me I just don't get it, why people get so hung up on ther color of someone elses skin. If you believe in God and read the bible well then how can you hate your own bother just cause he doesn't look like you ! So then why should it metter that I'm attracted to black women ? Why should it matter that they are attracted to me ? I also don't believe that black women can only find happiness if they date white men, we aren't any better than black men. In fact I know some that are just as big of players as the so called bad black man. The point is that it shouldn't mater to any of us if we want to date someon of a different ethnicity. I for one am always proud to have a beautiful black woman hanging onto my hand.
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Kitania says:Posted: 13 Oct 10
I like what Armymedic 71 says. People in this country are TOO hung up on the whole race issue. Especially the media. Have you seen all those "specials" that Commie News Network airs on blacks?
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demmy_b80 says:Posted: 16 Oct 10
armymedic, I agree with u on 'I also don’t believe that black women can only find happiness if they date white men, we aren’t any better than black men. In fact I know some that are just as big of players as the so called bad black man.' This is because i have recently been a victim of a relationship with a white man who was such a big player and always claims that he is too old to play games. As you also said 'am always proud to have a beautiful black woman hanging onto my hand', he was the complete opposite as I later foun out he was just using black women as novelty. He could not proudly show me in public, hold hands with me, go to cinemas etc with me etc. He was always only interested in conversations to do with sex. Keep being a good man to all women and continue to show hgenuine love and affection to black women as you make me beleive that not all white men are like this guy i'm talking about. So I though I deserve better than this piece of shit and I'm not giving up mon being open to men of other races
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Esteejay says:Posted: 09 Nov 10
This is what has frustrated me as well. I get so sick and tired of all the color bickering. You hear this in politics as well. We are all beautiful and have a uniqueness that God has placed in all of us, black, white, brown, whatever!
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TYRANT says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
ambercool said: I do not know why black men have an issue with black women dating white men…Get over yourselves. It drives me crazy, black men and white women has been the norm for so many years and it has been ok but black women and white men seem to be an issue. I love dating out side my race because of how I am treated and white men are not intimidated by a strong black woman. So my brothers you need to understand that there must be a problem if we are running not walking to the open arms of the white man. ________________________________________ TYRANT: As a BLACK man I don't have an issue with black women dating white men. The ISSUE comes when black women BASH black men in the process of dating white men. Most black men want to be with a WOMAN who's loving, caring, supportive, and nurturing. Sadly, what we're getting are black women who are more interested in FIGHTING us than they are in LOVING and being LOVED by US. Oh yeah, as for black women running into the arms of white men. I'm not going to deny that a lot of black women are doing that, but be mindful, that a LOT MORE black men are RUNNING and not walking into the arms of non-black women. Latest statistics black men dating/married to white women being at 16%, while statistics for black women dating/married to white men are at 6%, so when you THINK about it, who's really running away from whom? That being said, BOTH black women and black men need to UNDERSTAND (Forgive my cynicism, but this is higly unlikely) that there's a PROBLEM if black men and women are running away from each other. I just can't leave without saying this: Ladies, I'm truly SORRY that ALL the black men in your lives turned out to be such LOSERS, and I sincerely HOPE that you find HAPPINESS with the white man of your DREAMS... Though to be HONEST, I'm quite CONFIDENT that once you find the white man of your DREAMS you'll still continue to BITCH about black men. ROFL
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jahsymeon says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
I AGREE 90% WITH "TYRANS" POST... EVERYTHING WAS CLEARLY STATED AND WAS ALL REAL, MY THING IS IF BLACK WOMEN CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT WHAT BLACK MEN ARE'NT DOING AND HOW MUCH OF LOSERS WE ARE SMH, OBVIOUSLY IT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HER SINCE SHE KEEP ATTRACTING THESE KIND OF GUYS. BUT HONESTLY MY OPINION IS IT'S ALOT OF BLACK WOMEN IN THEIR MID 30'S AND OLDER THAT NEVER CAME CLOSE TO GETTING A RING PUT ON THEIR FINGER LMAO. I MEAN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, IF YOU WERE SUCH A GOOD SWEET WOMAN WITH OUT THE DRAMA, A MAN OR MEN WOULD DO ANYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO MAKE YOU HIS WIFE REGUARDLESS WHAT NATIONALITY HE IS... BUT IN THAT CASE ALOT OF BLACK WOMEN ON HERE TALKING BAD ON BLACK MEN, AND I'M YET TO SEE A BRUTHA ON ANY OF THESE CHAT ROOMS SPEAK BAD ON EACH POST ABOUT BLACK WOMEN. THAT'S WHAT THESE WHITE MEN LOVE TO SEE "THE HATE IN OUR CULTURE UMUNGST EACH OTHER"... ALSO THAT BLACK WOMEN ARE IN TO HIM AND NOT ANY OTHER NATIONALITIES. AND LIKE I SAID HOW BLACK WOMEN AND WHITE MEN HAVE ALOT OF SIMILARITIES. SMMFH...
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Pumpkin22 says:Posted: 01 Oct 10
Trust me. People have always thought of me as easy-going without being a push over. I bring no outstanding issues or dramas. My offense was that I was dark and wasn't "thick." To this day, my boyfriend is scratching his head (and thanking his lucky stars) that those guys never saw what he sees. Unfortunately I see too many other lonely but wonderful women who have given up. Still I have no hate for BM. I will always feel protective of those who share my ancestral and historical heritage. I only wish the denial would stop.
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TYRANT says:Posted: 03 Oct 10
I must've missed the memo, because if black men didn't appreciate the BEAUTY of black women (No matter what shaded she came in) there wouldn't be so many black men dating/married to-you guessed it-BLACK WOMEN. In fact, the numbers of black men dating/marrying IR would be STAGGERING, and there wouldn't be in BLACK couples to speak of because they'd practically be NON-EXISTENT. Still, this is an IR site, so I understand why it's necessary to promote such a DISTORTED version of the TRUTH.
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Pumpkin22 says:Posted: 02 Oct 10
Yes I understand. To acknowledge that good black women have been going manless mainly because of the wrong turns of BM is difficult. I understand the strong need to believe that something must be fundamentally wrong with us black women. Don't get me wrong. I've seen some ' BW with attitude' stereotypes walking around. But did you stop to think that attitude is merely a defense and mostly likely springs from depression at not feeling valued or treated well? Why is that even that 'BW with attitude' seems to change when they're with men who treat them well? And why is that BW/WM marriages are even more successful than WW/WM marriages? I'm the last to say that BM are no good. I understand our history. I understand that for most of our history in this country, BM have been harassed, tortured, killed, or otherwise shut out of the economic mainstream thereby disabling them from fufilling their natural roles as providers and protectors. And as a result, BW have had to take on roles that men were supposed to play. But as our people's freedom increased, many BM largely didn't come out of the cages they were put in. Instead of valuing education and legitimate achievement, they got caught up in easy materialism. But even when some BM took their education seriously and became successful, like their lower class brethren, their egos became dependent on the MYTH of having supreme sexual prowess and therefore sexual gods to women especially ones previously unattainable to them. I would guess that the tendency to use women and to treat them as props is the reason that BM have the lowest success rate when it comes to interracial marriage. And BW (and thank God we're finally letting go of that "strong BW crap") are tired of playing roles that women are not designed to play. We shouldn't be the daddy and the sole upholder and protector of our households. I agree that we should continue in the movement to bring out our softer, more feminine selves. Let men do the manly stuff. I would venture to guess that my fellow African-featured sisters would gravitate to any man who: is willing and able to perform his manly roles is strong enough to be vulnerable with us( a necessary ingredient in reaching true intimacy) loves our own unique soulfulness loves us BECAUSE of our soft, dark skin At this point in time, this description applies to more WM than black. But cultures can evolve. I truly hope that BM culture does.
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 14 Oct 10
"As a BLACK man I don’t have an issue with black women dating white men. The ISSUE comes when black women BASH black men in the process of dating white men." -Tyrant Hmmm you gave me something to blog about. Don't worry, it's nothing negative :) That part made perfect sense.
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ivoryknight says:Posted: 26 Sep 10i've been told several times i'm the "ideal man" by black woman but that's because the black men have handed them over to me by way of their treatment of her. i know that's not always the case but it's been my experience that the women who prefer white men have had a bad experience with black men in their early life and have found white men less so, althought i have heard of a few accts of white men miss treating the black woman. maybe since i'm an incurable romant and find so much about a black woman (sorry ladies in the sex dept. whith the lights out white or black are pretty much the same. been told that respecting white or black men from black women too) so there's much more to the mix than sex. besides the color which i've prefered for all my adult life she's a unique cultural creature which i've been blessed to know and currently be in the most intense and intimate relation ship of my life. ironically this woman never thought of a white man till i winked at her and after several years of being ignored ,so to speak, by black men on dating sites and seeing that most of the men on black dating sites are white she thought maybe she should try. she was from the old school and stayed with her black husband rasing a family enduring his ignoring her . now she is amazed at what love can be and sex too. not because of skin color but that "the best lovers are the ones in love" in and out of bed.
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fay61 says:Posted: 12 Oct 10WOW “the best lovers are the ones in love” in and out of bed. NOW THAT SAYS IT ALL.
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Sexybeing says:Posted: 26 Sep 10WOW! A lot of heated people with much to say. I read all of the comments because I wanted to see if anyone had my feelings on interracial dating. But what I read was a lot of people explaining themselves, and of course a very rude person (jahsymeon). I was brought up in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood, and I speak proper (as others say). Black men look at me as if I am trying to be something other than who I am (white), not realizing I am who I am. Black men expect me to be a certain way and I am not. When I am with someone other than a black man, they have no expectations on how I should be. I am only speaking of the black men that I have come in contact with. I do apologize if anyone finds anything that I have said here to be offensive. Thank You
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
My sentiments exactly, Sexy Being! I also grew up around whites and happened to pick up their mannerisms. In no way, shape, or form do I think I am better than anyone just because I talk or act a certain way. Some believe that I do, which frustrates me.
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Sexybeing says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
Hi Cynamyn, I completely understand and the name calling did not help. lol I can laugh now, but growing up, that hurt. When I was around my black people (male and female) they would make me feel like something was wrong with me because I did not do or say things a certain way. But when I was around white people (male and female) it did not matter how I did things. It was ok to just be me. And honestly, I am just looking for someone to love me for who I am.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 27 Sep 10No offense taken, Sexy. There are black men, like myself, who grew up just like you who feel like they're taking the heat for all of the black men that you described and others that statistics suggest. There are also black men that feel, even though you're the same as them, you're still too black for them. It's no different for black men. I have been attracted to certain black women who have all of their teeth, decent posture, excellence diction, but they have written black men off completely. I really can't stand these sort of black folk. Can't we all just get along?
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Sexybeing says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
Hi Ichibod, I wish we could. I can understand things from your side as well. But the black men that I have come in contact with felt as if I was not black enough! lol
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nicknack83 says:Posted: 11 Oct 10
I think we should get along, but I think that you will be able to easily find another race of woman who have all the qualities you want in her, right?
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brownclown says:Posted: 25 Sep 10
I think that many black women are attracted to white men in part because statistically speaking white men are more likely to have the level of education and career success that is more compatible with the growing number of 'middle-class' black women. If you peruse the profiles on this site you might be surprised at the difference between number of black women who have masters degrees versus the number of black men who do. The same goes for the careers. Let's face it, unemployment for black men is somewhere around 16% compare to less than half of that for white men. And educational level and career success does make difference in a relationship...at least in my opinion.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
Ouch! Lets see...there's 37m black folk, 36m hispanics so out of the 307m in the US its safe to say that about 230m are white (I gave the other 4m to "other"). So 16% of 37m is roughly 6m, and 8% of 230m is roughly 18M....or 3 times the amount. "Hmmmm" Middle class....and I'll just talk about one tiny section of sports and leave Hip Hop and a few other black industries out of it. Since Curt Flood won the first court battle over free agency the $ gap paid to black players over white player has widen tremendously. Lets see there's 45 players on a football team earning an average of...I better quit. Don't get caught up in the hipe my friend as we are the new "upper" middle class! Does Jay-Z have his GED? Hmmm didn't he earned 274M last year...50 Cent sold his rights to his Vitamin Water Company for how much? 400m. Oh and the one I really love is; "there are more young black men in jail than in college". Truth was there were 530,000 young black men in college, but only 193,000 in jail by comparison. So careful my friend in using statistics.
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brownclown says:Posted: 28 Sep 10
Godfather, the percentage of the black male population earning decent salaries in the professional arena is miniscule...probably less than 1%. The same goes for the entertainment industry. You have a handful of people making the big cash...hardly enough to fill the gap. Further, it would be nice if more of those successful athletes showed an interest in black women once they start earning the big bucks. However, it seems that most take their money and leave the neighborhood.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 02 Oct 10
I guess its because I grew up in a little town in MO where there were alot of black professional men, and I've traveled throughout the country and have seen the same. I just don't understand where you get this information from or maybe its that you want to stay in the dark, but we (black people) are the new upper middle class. Yes, its kept humble, but start paying attention and you'll see...Here's a hint; You know about Oprah, but google Kathy Hughes. I'm sorry my friend, but you can't be this naive...
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 06 Oct 10
Ouch! I need to make a correction...Mrs. Hughes' first name is spelled with a "C" and not a "K".
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jahsymeon says:Posted: 24 Sep 10
@ambercool! I DON'T MIND BLACK WOMEN BEING WITH WHITE MEN, ALOT OF MY BRUHAZ DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT EITHER, IN FACT BLACK WOMEN AND WHITE MEN ARE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER! THE REASON IS BECAUSE THE TWO HAVE ALOT OF SIMILARITIES... HATEFULL, BITTER, GREEDY, SELFISH, STUBBORN, SNEAKY, AND CONTROLLING, BLACKMEN NOT GOING TO DEAL WITH NO BLACK WOMAN THAT WANT TO CONTROLL AND BE THE MAN AND THE WOMAN.. THAT'S DRAMA!!!! WHY IS IT THAT ALOT OF WHITE WOMEN THAT'S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH BLACKMEN DON'T COMPLAIN BEING WITH US???? BOTTUM LINE IS WHITE MEN WANT BLACK WOMEN THE SAMEWAY THE CONTROLLING SLAVE OWNERS DID SEXUALLY & ETC, AND HE KNOW BLACK WOMEN GREEDY FOR MONEY AND HE DON'T HAVE TO DO MUCH BUT GIVE BLACK WOMEN MONEY AND THAT'S IT... AS FAR AS HOW WE'RE WATCHED BY DIFFERENT CULTURES ESPECIALLY WHITE MEN, IT'S DESIGNED TO KEEP BLACK MEN DOWN SO THAT WE CAN'T MEET A BLACK WOMANS EXPECTATIONS... AND THAT BEING SAID BLACK WOMEN WATCH WHITE MEN WORKING AND PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY AND SHE INSTANTLY RUN TO SALE OUT INTO HIS ARMS... DO YOU REALLY THINK GIVING A BLACKMAN A HARD TIME WITH DRAMA IS BEING A STRONG BLACK WOMAN?????
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ambercool says:Posted: 25 Sep 10
You sound bitter and you just proved my point, listen how you sound. It is not about control for me, it is about trust and respect. White men are proud to be with me and show me how much by how they treat me, they listen to what I have to say, they are there with a shoulder to lean on, they treat me like I am the only woman on earth. To a black man this is being weak and henpecked. Black men like white women because they can control them I have seen this time and time again.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
Brotha, may I ask if you feel this way about all black women? If so, I'm offended. Your tirade of stereotypes for black women and white men are ones prevelant in humanity, in other words, all races. Saying white women don't complain about being with us? First, check the 'US' talk. Despite what nonsense a black womam spews on the interent, all black men are not the same. It's obvious Rebecca is prone to have less of a hard time with Carlton from Bel Aire than with 'D' from Compton. However, I see where you're coming from when a black woman runs her trap as though all black women are Ambers with a salon style, and none of them are "Shawnquelishas" with a bad weave. It's too hard for them to just say' "look for a man that meets such and such criteria" seeing as though their choices in white men would not lead them in the direction of Bubba or Cletus from Bugtussle, Oklahoma. They tend to speak like all black men are beneath any kind of white man. That is very disturbing. The white men they meet, they don't find in the same place the black men who they talk bad about reside. It's funny how when the topic interracial relationships comes up, black men are more prone to speak about dating/marrying latinas, asian and white women. Black women tend to only speak about white men and no other races of men. White supremacy, Stockholm syndrome, and self-hatred all wrapped up in a neat little package. They question the reasoning behind black men dating white women as though the reason is the same as black women dating white men. It isn't. Never was, which is why there are times when some ignorant black men waste their time commenting to or ridiculing the black women they see with white men. When a black man dates outside his race, it's because he can. When a black women dates outside her race, it's typically with a white man and a lot of the time it's because she feels she has to or "I may as well. Black men have been doing it for ever". Then they throw in a screwball comment about white women being weak or easy to control which only proves that the mentioning of black men and white women is merely out of animosity or insecurity, or as though being with a white person is a privalege that they were being denied somehowfor so long. Is that all black women? No. This site has many black women that just like men yet still love black men regardless of what is always said about 'US'. I have a cousin and an aunt that are married to white men and another cousin that broke up with her white boyfriend not too long ago. Don't know what's up with my aunt, but my cousins love their daddy, uncles, brother, and cousins. Their reasons for dating white men have nothing to do with black men. Anyone can have drama pop up in their lives. However, our culure was set up to breed black females with an abundance of it. Not every black women follows that model. Good! Not every black man follows the lazy, underachieving, criminal, inept father that doesn't know how to treat a lady model either. Later, Dude!
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
Excellent analysis!!! Why is this so hard for some to understand my friend?
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Pumpkin22 says:Posted: 01 Oct 10
BW only date WM because ' they have to? ' Seems a bit like wishful thinking to me. When I was younger I was only attracted to BM. But as I have personally experienced and witnessed the consistent denigration of African- looking women by BM culture, I was permanently turned off. Culturally speaking, more WM are raised to be more respectful of women. I have also found that there is NO difference romantically speaking, and the difference in skin color is a turn-on. So trust me, there's no well, "I just gotta do this because I have no choice" in my thinking. I'm thrilled with my partner.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 02 Oct 10
Who said, "only"? It's apparent that you didn't even finish reading the entire post. About 22 lines into it, I asked and answer the question, "Is that all black women? No." "Culturally speaking, more WM are raised to be more respectful of women." According to statistics, who raises these black men? For the life of me, I've been trying to get many of the black women on these blogs to come to grips with this before they start talking about how much more white men are this and that. Many are already intelligent enough to know not to apply race to value and moral propensity. Which is why I said, "Is that all black women? No."
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Esteejay says:Posted: 09 Nov 10
"According to statistics, who raises these black men?" What do you mean by this question? Because if it what I think you mean, I know you aren't blaming the black mothers for raising these black men alone. It is not entirely the single black mother's fault that the father doesn't want to participate.
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XALA says:Posted: 28 Feb 11
Hi amber, yeah i do agree that the above comment is actually born of bitterness and an age long anger...wow...i thought that was all done with. But i also see the same perspectives in your defense. You seem to generalize black guys based on ur experience, when in truth experience is at most times two pronged. Could be that u have a knack for the type black guys u dont like or the ur neighborhood is crawling with their type. Why have i said this...is because the qualities you seek are not unique to White Guys alone. That black men like White women because they can control them....this is highly untrue?....Because White woman unlike black women don't compromise in a relationship, if they dont like it they dont think for a second about managing it. Where as a black women would actually attempt to manage it. Boths scenarios are also not unique to either whites or black because like u said u have seen such. But the above is not entirely wrong about one thing, Black women are more materialistic than white women, if u do not agree with this then look at defense again,,,,its all about u and the benefit u get, not really so to speak on the real things that can be said about white men-- for instance being more romantically expressive than the average black guy or less demanding of respect. These are not so to speak good or bad qualities they are how they are---qualities and in a world of preference the qualities u hate might actually be what some other girl wants. Thus when u generalize u actually sound no different from ICe and his friend. I have dated white women before and not because i could control them but because i am the kind of man who looks at a woman as his equal. Compensating weakness for strength and strength for weakness.
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ambercool says:Posted: 23 Sep 10
I do not know why black men have an issue with black women dating white men...Get over yourselves. It drives me crazy, black men and white women has been the norm for so many years and it has been ok but black women and white men seem to be an issue. I love dating out side my race because of how I am treated and white men are not intimidated by a strong black woman. So my brothers you need to understand that there must be a problem if we are running not walking to the open arms of the white man.
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ice says:Posted: 30 Sep 10you sound like a fool, you are doing us (BLACK MEN) a favor, keep doing them, all men try to control their women, i don't know any BLACK MEN intimidated by BLACK WOMEN, that's media hype an just cuz you easy for the man to get you into bed don't mean it's the way, to me it's like you can't handle a BLACK MAN being a man, we have a shoulder to lean on but when YOU run to us, we soft we this an that, you don't treat the dog like the cat naw, they give YOU a candy bar YOU drop to your knee an service them, you are not being you with WHITE MEN you are fake, a fantasy you are not real like porn, i have no issue of who you date but when you prop white over US you sound as stupid as brothers saying all women are bitches an hoes, an if you have a kid, a son what are you going to tell him, he ain't shit cuz he's not white, how you going hate what made you, you need to talk to YO DADDY! an PS you say they do this an that but no mention of love, guess they like us HUH.
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sissy2004 says:Posted: 05 Oct 10
Wow! This is the reason we have so many issues. Why so hostile?
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Seety2 says:Posted: 01 Oct 10Black man are so disrespectiful, your comment papa are so nasty toward a woman..Most black man dont have manners including you Ice,,,Get lost,...
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ice says:Posted: 02 Oct 10
Baby SEETY2 or 3 you sound like you are already LOST, I have manners, im sincere i don't recall being around you, you don't know me, you are another one of those " I DATED A 1000 BLACK MEN" so you miss survey now, see you will never hear of me saying all Black Women are this or that, an put them down to rise another that is being SO DISRESPECTFUL, somebody need to tell yo DADDY, so he can sit you down an can ask you, What's your problem?
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sissy2004 says:Posted: 05 Oct 10
Ice, unfortunately you've proved what most bw are saying about bm. Always so nasty and hostile towards bw. Ok everything you feel or felt could have been said in a different way that most likely would have given your point validation. Unfortunately your delivery was terrible which only reinforced what the ladies are saying. You see, bm want their cake and eat it too. You can give everything, emotionally, financially and physically and you know what happens? It boost the bm ego and he starts to think "I got her" and starts cheating
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jass says:Posted: 23 Sep 10hi knowing the fact about our lord created was so we can come together as one race not everyone feeling that we have the power to say are change the way God has giving us a chance in this life to srevice him and respect eachother personal feeling does not matter when it comes to teating eachother with love and happiness and respect with the nation of many race please if it;s not a problem our creator then it shouldn't be a problem with us.we must learn how to love eachother matter of differents. each one teach one. take care, bye.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 26 Sep 10
Thanks Jess, maybe one day we'll figure this out!
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talias says:Posted: 20 Sep 10
No I dont think so but its an opion alot of black women are seeking. Its a response to how the times are changing for the better.Most people relize now that we are so different and that their is beauty in every shade. I love dating outside my race I just wish i could find that guy that loves chocolate strawberries if u know what I mean lol.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 26 Sep 10
Thanks Jess, maybe one day we figure this out!
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shotgun007 says:Posted: 20 Sep 10
I am a little infuriated that the site would allow some loose-cannon whack-job comment quote/unquote**** "Lifted from some Forum"**** to even be posted on the front end of a blog article. The person that made this so called comment is so blatantly angry about his past failed relationships with black women. Besides, I don't know of ANY black woman that would ever think such a thing, even if she dates outside of her race. I believe that naturally speaking, we all gravitate towards our own/common culture, however as our world becomes more and more diverse, so does the mindset for "some" depending on the area. So we are starting to see more black women date IR and vice versa. I don't date white men because I think they are my savior or something silly like that, it has everything to do with a mutual attraction or what we may have in common. shotgun007
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serenity33 says:Posted: 19 Sep 10It all depends on the personality of the man or woman. Women look for men for various reasons and want different things. Some just want sex while others want marriage and others are looking for money and other are looking more for looks and some other things. I think whoever fits the bill will do regardless of race. But accessibility to what they are looking for varies from woman to woman based on what they are really looking for. So I don't think white men are the panacea that Black women are looking for. Every case is unique and individual and generalities should be avoided like the title of the blog should be avoided as well. Give individuality some credit here.
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LovelyLadyC says:Posted: 19 Sep 10
Speaking for myself, my attraction to white men is on several levels: First; its all about manners! I enjoy having a man open doors for me, say thank you, and call me ma'am. I do not hear these things from Black Men as often as I do from White Men. Second; I also enjoy how I am treated by white men; I have had the unfortunate experience of being called 'snooty' by a rather handsome black man because of the way I dressed! HELLO?? Third; I agree with you SpandauTrue, demographics plays a very large part of the attraction. Living in the Midwest is a huge disadvantage, white men do have an attraction to black women but do not want others in the community to know about their attraction. I refuse to be 'kept' on the down low as has been offered.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 20 Sep 10
I'm sorry my friend, but I disagree with you as I have many friends in KC, KS that are country boy who open doors and put the toilet seat down...etc. . and that's the bad part about white guys that they aren't gentlemen to the same degree that a black man is...
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LovelyLadyC says:Posted: 21 Sep 10
LOL... and excuse ME; I live in the Midwest; and although you may have a few friends in KCK, that most certainly does NOT qualify you to comment on the demographics at work in this area. Suffice it to say that experiences are different, and just because one has friends in a certain area; YOU may believe them to be the exception but most assuredly not they are NOT the rule.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 22 Sep 10
So, black men with bad manners IS the rule? I believe that's what Godfather is trying to say. It just isn't fair to judge an entire group that unfairly. It's quite possible that if this IS how you feel, then you were not called snooty merely because of the way you dressed. The apparel was just collateral in a war upon your attitude. No offense, just my two sense. Have a good day, you are a lovely lady! :)
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LovelyLadyC says:Posted: 25 Sep 10
Gee Whiz Godfather.... you seem to be making this about 'who you know' where. Get over yourself!!! I'm speaking about WHAT I know to be facts in the region I live within. BLACK WOMEN have been slapped in the face with BLACK MEN DATING WHITE WOMEN for decades, now when we do it or dare I say comment upon bad manners we have experienced we are attacked. Tsk, Tsk. If you wish to engage in debate on this topic outside of this forum, BRING IT; just know I am fully prepared.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 22 Sep 10
My friend I was born and raised in St. Louis, MO and have been to the KC area more than I care to admit as I maintain an office in Overland Park. I don't want to spin my pedigree; i.e. who I know, where I go, or the circle I travel in when I'm in your area, and I'll give you credit because there are some brothers there with some serious problem. However, there are a lot of our white brothers who have the same problems so its really not fair to use that specific Black/White label... and yes I took offense as a Black man to your comment. Also, I apologize if I offended any of my White brothers with my response to LovelyLadyC.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 27 Sep 10
What I'm trying to get you to see is that you are "pre-judging" black men because of an experience that you had and I retorted by saying we're not what you think offering myself as well as my friends in your area as an example. Is this that difficult for you to understand? Are you that prejudice against black men that in "Speaking for yourself" its best for you to undress us in public? I pray my friend that one day you'll understand that "wisdom comes before knowledge"...
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forrestsmiles says:Posted: 12 Oct 10
being that i live in S Florida perhaps is more comfortable or acceptable, but frankly, I love nothing better than to enter a room, walk into a restaurant or attend an event with a beautiful black woman on my arm. I will at times pay attention to peoples reaction and there is still muttering under their breath I am sure, but for the most part... I believe (totally my interpretation) that most people are happy for us, some men envy me, some women perhaps envy her and overall, I like the bold feeling that i get from it. I am proud of her and feel good about myself. This is not some experiment for me, it is a genuine lust, love, hunger, want, attraction, whatever you want to call it. In NO way, do I want to keep her on the down low, in fact, it is just the opposite... i want to take her out, dress her up, show her off. Is that for my ego... perhaps... I am a man. Remember, that same ego that also gets us into traffic altercations, arguments at sports events, taking a macho stand against some jerk, is the same ego that makes us bold, brings home a dollar, makes us exciting at times and allows me to be adventurous, a go getter and a guy who goes after what he wants. Many of the qualities that I read that women want in a man. Being kept on the down low is an insult to any black woman
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demmy_b80 says:Posted: 16 Oct 10
Forestmiles, thanks for loving us. It's a shame I have recently been treated in the opposite way by a white man who claims to really like me until I found out he was just using black women as novelty. As you find it proud 'to enter a room, walk into a restaurant or attend an event with a beautiful black woman on my arm. I will at times pay attention to peoples reaction and there is still muttering under their breath', unfortunately he found it degrading in public and he will only kiss me when we are in a quiet places where people are not looking......then I though I am soooo beautiful, sexy strong and a very nice person who deserves to be treated a like amillion dolllar woman who is worth more than gold and be proudly shown to the public by ANY man. 'In NO way, do I want to keep her on the down low, in fact, it is just the opposite… i want to take her out, dress her up, show her off. Is that for my ego… perhaps… I am a man'. Unfortunately he didnt see it that way, he was more worried about public prerception, reaction and how it will look even though people envy us when we walked together, may be they even think this girl is too pretty for this guy you know, but whatever it was, it was an insult to me and black women in general. Why go for black women when you are not man enough to public reactions? You should not care what people say, you should be proud of a good woman. As he hust me so bad, now I pray he falls into the hands of a real crazy black or even white woman who will treat him like shit that he deserves and hope he learns never to mess with black women again.
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SpandauTrue says:Posted: 19 Sep 10Well, first off, most black women are not looking for a white man. So no, the white man is not the black woman's ideal. Instead there are allot of black women looking for black men but the demographics of the area are wrong, or some other structural issue issue is at work.
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Pumpkin22 says:Posted: 17 Sep 10
Every woman has her own motivations. I originally came onto this site because of my attraction to white men. I'm attracted to them physically ,culturally, and interpersonally. For me they are not stand-ins until black men come along. Still, opposite skin color alone in no way equals ideal. That why it took me years to find the man I actually want to spend the rest of my life with.
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 13 Sep 10
Here's my two cents; The first thing we need to understand is that racial dating is a "preference"...not a prejudice. It's based on character, not color... There's no difference in the man when you take the time to understand where he's coming from. But that's hard for some women who honestly won't admit to not having the patience to develop what they "need" versus going after what they "want". Case in point; I am a man who earns a healthy 6 figure salary, live in a $800K+ home and drive a $70K+ car, doesn't play ball, I'm not a Doctor or a Dentist, and have a small bank of attorneys that report to me...Guess what? I'm a black man! OMG!!! Yes and I scare off alot of women because I want to develop a lasting relationship versus hanging out with power daters/look so pretty, or going after quick sex cause I can pay her rent. Not me, wrong guy.... It gets better...I haven't dated out of my race in some 25+ years, but I'm attracted to black woman who generally date white men because of their preference of looking for that professional, kind-hearted, financially secure man, and genuine man! (Brothers, call me confused if you want, but there are alot of black women looking for us...) So to answer the question of "is the white man the black woman's ideal man", not in my opinion. I've been on this site maybe a month and I've met some incredible black women who date white men, but would much rather date a black man with the same preferences...
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ambercool says:Posted: 25 Sep 10
You said a mouthfull and I agree with you 100%....Brothers take notice.
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cinnamon1111 says:Posted: 10 Oct 10my story is I gave black men a chance once was enough for me. from a little girl I always liked white men. I liked that they had listent to all kinds of music, they were worldy and open minded. they are men you can learn from. I was raised to be with a strong black man and make smart, strong black children. but after seeing black men in my school chasing every non black girl they could find. or only date me because I was mixed. I was turned off. I had once serious relationship with a black man and it was a learning experience. I decided I finally needed to date who I would like to make me happy and I started dating white men. they are not perfect by any means . at the end of the day, they are men period. but they do have less drama, they are more focused on their ambitions and are more responsible and practical. I used to feel bad and try to force myself to like black men but now its come to the point that I could never be with one no matter what. I'm just physically, emotionally attracted to white men. and im sorry to say, they seem more manlly to me. they take charge more and make stable decisions. I dont hate black men. but when you live in NY and almost every day a black man is hitting on you in vulgar way, or trying to get your attention, you just get turned off at the immaturity. and its not even white american men that are the best,european men are the best in the world to me. they are mature, intelligent. and practical. in this instance I could say if I met a black man raised in euro culture I would consider dating him. but since that is not the case.......................oh well
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fay61 says:Posted: 12 Oct 10
Ron I simply wanted to say that your response was communicated very well. We, women, sometimes forget that the men have many, if not most, of the same concerns when it comes to relationship issues. However, at the risk of sounding stereotypical, it is not often that [Black] men are able to or even willing to communicate their thoughts and desires at that level. And that is what I feel is the primary disconnect. I took a look at your profile and found it to be just as content rich. How refreshing to have relevant content, rather that the atypical, 'I want to rub you down' responses. If all being true, I cannot imagine that you would be on this site for very long. Thank you for adding real quality to the discussion from the male perspective. Only wish I were younger or you were older...:)
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Godfather454 says:Posted: 19 Oct 10
Thank you Fay; first and foremost I am a gentleman who was raised to cherish and honor the love of a good woman. Also, I'm a man who knows what he doesn't want and will to do without until then. By the way, I also maintain an office in Sharonville so the next time I'm in town dinners on me... :-)
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serenity33 says:Posted: 13 Sep 10
I agree with you totally, kissime. Remember though that everything you said though also goes for men to. Just put she in all the places where you have he and we will have sexual equality there. There are just as many bad women out there as bad men and there are just as many nice guys like myself looking for everything you said above as well. In a society where the sexes are becoming more equal every day, women are becoming more like men every day so your advice should go to both sexes and all races. It sounds like you have met some pretty bad men. I am only talking to two women on this dating site and they are both young and our friendship is totally platonic. I have a strong paternal streak and high intellect and wisdom factors and live very far away so I never will see them. I am happy with that rather than settling for less. And nothing sexual is ever brought up. Anyway, I think even those who are involved in talks with potential people to date should have this level of innocence and compatibility in talking when talking to the opposite sex. Friendship is the foundation and if you can't talk for hours about deep subjects like I do with these two and keep things innocent, then you might want to rethink your motivations for trying to find someone for they might not be pure. And I don't know what they look like and don't care. It is just nice to find kindred spirits wherever you can find them because they are the rarest thing you can find especially if you are very fussy like me about a person's personality.
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kissime says:Posted: 12 Sep 10
I'm attracted to white men. My perfect match is someone who is encouraging, friendly and genuine. He is ready for a monogamist relationship. He respects himself & life. He is a peacemaker. He want to make sure that the people around him are well taken care of and appreciated. He is very interested in how I'm feeling. He is very in tune with his emotions, seeks balance in his life and feels happiest when things around him are calm. He leads with his heart and his head- so my ability to be well-grounded and level-headed will make us the perfect team. He will always accept me for who I am, never demanding more and will love me passionately and fully. He is not a whore. He is not on the internet seeking sex and collecting women for explicit pornographic pictures. He is not a liar--thinking promising me the world will have me wrap around his finger. Just because you're white doesn't mean you shouldn't have anything else to offer. Ladies, Stop sending these men pictures of your privates parts...any men, whatever color he may be will never respect you. Have self respect. Make sure he is consistent and genuine. I believe there are great men truly wanting to find love & be in-love. But remember, there are also some nasty men out there ready for whatever with whomever. Kissing the frog will not turn him into a man...but you will get warts. Love yourselves, ladies.
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demmy_b80 says:Posted: 16 Oct 10
Kissime, I appreciate your advice as I have recently been a victim of a relationship with a white man who happens to be a big player......of course he always emphasisies that he is too old to play games and infact he turns out to be the biggest game player. At some point even asked me to send him nude pictures of myself and when I refused, he was quite upset but i insisted even though he sent me some of his which i never asked him to do. I also found out he happens to be a man who uses black women as novelty and cannot really love them or show them proudly in the public or hold hands with them, go watch movies with them etc. When i asked him why he likes black women, he didnt have much justifiable reasons to give, he just said he lkes big black booty, curves, big boobs etc and that he sees them as confident so I knew he was only looking for black women to satisfy his sexual desires, pleasures, fantasies etc So ladies please you should all beware of white men ike this because if you are so obsessed with them you may end up falling in the trap of men like that. This man really hurt my feelings and I was quite heartbroken cause i thought he really liked me and i developed feelings for him. In fact he made it clear that he was only interested in the sex but i didnt get it early enough as he was also giving me mxed messages to make me beleive he was for real so. He was not man enough at all and i later found out from a friend who knows him, that he had previouly gone around hurting few other black women in the same process so I wonder why chose to hurt black women, why not his own white women? So I thought black women do not deserve this kind of treatment from men especially white men and as I beleive I may not be his last victim, I decided to join this site to reach out as much as i can to my fellow beautiful black women to watch out for this kind of white men looking to use us as sex objects as i do not want anyone to fall his victim or such victim at all. Having said that, I am not giving up on white men completely as not all of them are like that just as not all our black men are bad as I have black friends who are happily married to white men and who are proud enough to show them in public. I am someone who is open to any race and not afraid to take new challenges with other races. I find all men attractive as long as they have what I am looking for in a man regardless of their race, culture etc.
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kissime says:Posted: 29 Oct 10
demmy_b80, you're very welcome. Men & women are only as good as their words. I don't think it has anything to do with race. I've met Orthodox Jews who has committed adultery. Some people are only as faithful as their options. People cheat JUST BECAUSE they CAN. It may have Nothing to do with their wives, girl friends, husband or boyfriends. I know it hurts when your love is taken for granted. You must dust yourself off & move forward. Keep your heart, mind and eyes open. I'm not recommending being paranoid. Enjoy yourself. enjoy the love of a man. You must never give up on men---there are some good yummy men out there; mentally & physically ,and in every other way imaginable. Be patient. When I was 12 years old, my father said to me in a nonchalant voice "la vie vous enseignera la patience" (life will teach you patience) I remember it as clear as yesterday. I'm pretty sure I was challenging him--again when those words were uttered. :) I've only learn to practice patience because of life...insanity will conquer your soul without it. "Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet." Jean-Jacques Rousseau I believe you were deceived. You're not a victim. In this situation feeling sorry for yourself is Not an option. You'll find what you're truly looking for. We all will. I'm in search of Everlasting Tranquility Self-love, self-respect is absolutely necessary.
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Jan says:Posted: 12 Sep 10
Oh...... the clincher these sport players added, I bet she will never give us, a black guy a chance. BS
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Jan says:Posted: 12 Sep 10
Any man of any ethnicity once that start speaking nonsense as cited in article holds a lot of resentment toward women and they believe a god given right has been bestowed on them to control women. In other words they want to have their cake and eat everyone else too. For example, While in college I dated very rarely, bc no black guys asked me out. Yes, I was waiting on a black guy to step forward. Other ethnic groups asked, no I want to be with and seen with a handsome black gentleman. While attending a mostly white populated school color did matter (so I thought, I was very naive). Anyways.......... I decided to yes, to going out on a date with a white guy. It really was no big deal to me, it was like going out with a friend. No problem right? Until some black football and basketball players made their negative comment, What a waste..... Someone as pretty as her. What a waste.......... Yeah, I seen her with another white guy ( a friend). How dare they pass judgment. Next day I seen these same guys with their white girlfriends. What hypocrites. I went out with the guy bc he was cute, smart, funny, and a gentleman same qualities I looked for in my fellow- black college men. Only difference this white guy was brave enough to ask me out. Not that I owe any explanations in why I went out with this white guy other than to detail my experience of how controlling black men try to control black women: Black men want to have their cake and eat everyone else too. Now I am sure my experience is not unique to my ethnic group.
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Peach7 says:Posted: 26 Sep 10
Jan, I had the same problem! When I was stationed in Washington state I couldn't get a date with a black guy to save my life. They were all only interested in, married to, or dating white women. So when I finally started dating white guys I was called out my name and for a minute (til I told them that I didn't care what they thought and where they could go and how to get there) treated badly. I had to "remind" many of them that they were MARRIED to a white woman and had offspring with these women and that them coming at me like that really showed how low their I.Q. was. I don't prefer white over black, but I do prefer a man (ANY man) that is going to be faithful, honest, and true and treat me like a lady and as his equal.
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aim1 says:Posted: 11 Sep 10
I believe that regardless of race or skin colour, the ideal man for a woman is the man that treats her with the love and respect she deserves. The fact that I am a white man attracted to black women has more to do with taste and personal preferences, in the same way that some guys prefer big breasts, others the booty and others legs, blonde hair, blue eyes etc. I suppose the cultural differences and a sense of novelty towards the exotic play their part too if I'm being honest. But just because I'm white doesn't automatically make me the ideal man for a black woman. But if I am ideal for an individual black woman and she's ideal for me then, assuming we find each other, we will both have what we were striving for when we started looking for love.
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Chriss89 says:Posted: 11 Sep 10
The sooner people stop bringing race into the issue the better. Black women, white women, black men, white men, everyone wants good qualities in someone else and no one should have to be judged for choosing either or to get those qualities. I don't know how much slack I've caught from black men when dating white men, but they need to understand that I could care less. A man is a man, a GOOD man is a good man. Race, when you finally looked past it, will be little in comparison.
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Cynamyn82 says:Posted: 09 Sep 10
A black woman's ideal man is a man who will give her the love and support she needs, as she will do in return. The person who made that comment is obviously bitter and should stay far away from black women, if he is not doing so already. Some black women want a black man, and some like them white. Big freakin' deal!! If I'm not interested in someone, then I'm just not. I will not waste time trying to find something wrong with the person. I will move on to someone who catches my attention....simple.
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00seven says:Posted: 04 Oct 10I’m here to officially, set the record straight. The reason the white men are attracted to the dark part of the chicken, is because they originate from us. White men will always and forever be attracted to us, the African American true blooded black women. Allow me to get a little deeper with our history. No, we are not conservative nor are we promiscuous, we just know innately how to love PROPERLY. No one on the face of this earth can EVER compare to the black woman. Did you know that our origins are of GREATNESS? Why wouldn’t you be attracted to that. I know I would. White men are attracted to us in the most elusive way. We are the Mother of all civilization, therefore cementing our birth to what you mere mortals call LIFE.
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shaelove says:Posted: 18 Oct 10
I agree with moviemania comment you are diamond in the rough.... and thank you for feeling that way about us sistas much luv to forrestsmiles,thank you
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Lib_Babe says:Posted: 25 Oct 10
@ 00Seven OMG!! For a second i thought i was learning black history....Again! Well said:)
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forrestsmiles says:Posted: 11 Oct 10
As a white man, I like what most women are saying about white men and think they are right. Let me, as a white man, who dates pretty much only black women state what my reasons are. A black woman with some class, who is proud of how she looks in her tight jeans and high heels or how she looks behind closed doors is extremely attractive to me. A black woman typically has beautiful skin, beautiful lips, many times a pretty smile with bright white teeth and bright eyes, wonderful curves and if she is trim and takes care of herself and is blessed with good genes… there is no one more sexually attractive, no one I want to adore more, no one else I want to look at or have my way with. As a man, I can still stray, but it is not as much in my nature or my culture, or as acceptable. Appreciate me, touch me, be affectionate with me, dress for me, go to ALL the trouble you do with your hair, to look good for me, be late on a date cuz you are working hard to look HOTT for me, and I will be loyal to you, and i will love you. I will buy beautiful clothes and open an account at Victoria Secret for you, I will take you to the best restaurants (that I can afford), I will take you to a play, the theatre, to ballet, to see Tyler Perry’s “Madea”, (front row seats last week in Miami… cost me a fortune)… I will love you in every position i can think of, i will live our everyday life as excitiing and fun as i can, i will make you laugh, i will be myself with you… at times, be the macho man that i am, and at times, be a bit vulnerable… letting you see that side of me. I will cook for you, i will smoke ribs and chicken for you on Sunday, i will take you fishin and come home and cook it outside so as not to stink up your clean house… I will lay down my jacket across a puddle to allow you to pass, not getting those spiked over the knee boots wet. ( OK, check that, you may have to settle for a piggy back ride there). I think a black woman appreciates the qualities i present and generally appreciate a good man, because she has been cheated on, because the former Tyrone’s in her life have never stepped up, never kept their word, treated them poorly, denied them the opportunity to advance, demeaned them and broke down their self image and confidence, culturally and otherwise. Some black women are very independent as well, and have done it for themselves for so long, they don’t really NEED a man. That does not threaten me, i admire an intelligent black woman. As long as they appreciate me for being there and loving them, as long as they share my life with me equally, not wanting a sugar daddy, I will return that love with the same love… and then some. I don’t see me feeling that way about white women in general… not putting anyone down, i think it is just in my genes… it is just raw attraction and preference. A black women knows how to take care of her man… in, and out of the bedroom. I LOVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN !
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moviemania10 says:Posted: 15 Oct 10
Wow! Where can I find you? Thank you for such a powerful insight to your feelings regarding black women. You would be worth coming home to.
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Jahsymeon that is the musical video i was talking about. i didn't ask you to go and wacth Movie. Mr movie mania.