4 Confidence Tips to Help Dissipate Dating Self-Doubt
After a relationship ends and it is time to move on and get back out there, it's normal to experience feelings of self-doubt. But you cannot allow self-doubt to paralyze you. As far as dating confidence goes, sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it. For men and women ready to brave the romantic rapids once again, here are four tips for boosting self-confidence when jumping back into the dating waters.
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As author Yoko McGee said, "Confidence is quiet. Insecurities are loud." You may be tempted during conversation to over-explain yourself or monopolize the conversation. Think before you speak. Is what you are going to say relevant, compelling or positive? If not, just allow your body language to speak for you. Maintain eye contact, sit up straight with your shoulders back, smile. Instead of filling the space between the two of you with self-serving details, allow your date to read your demeanor.
Walk with purpose
How you walk can also convey confidence or consciousnesses. An assured stride does not come natural to everyone. Some of us need a little practice. Dr. Stuart Fischer recommends watching how strangers walk. Choose someone who appears confident and then try to emulate their movements. Take note of that individual's fluid motions, stride and poise. When you have a firm imitation of the stranger's assertive strut, move on to a second confident stranger's walk. Just the act of practicing will make you feel more confident, and as you develop a unique stride through trying on others', you will feel more positive when you walk into your first date.
Improve your image
When you look good, you feel good. Before venturing out on a first date, attend to each facet of your appearance individually. Treat yourself to a new item of clothing in a color that suits you. And since your face is the first thing that your date will notice, pay special attention to skin care, especially if this is a source of insecurity for you. Try high-quality skin care products for treating dry skin, acne, razor burn and other issues.
No one is perfect; perfection is not the goal. Looking your best isn't necessarily for your date, but for you. The point is to spend a little money and time on the components of your image that may normally cause you to feel insecure to bolster your esteem.
Remind yourself of your strengths
If you have had dating and relationship disasters in the past, it can be hard to shake the feeling that you are doomed to repeat these mistakes. Step outside of the dating game for a moment. Remind yourself of everything you do well. Whether it's drawing, cooking, parallel parking or making a two-bank shot in a game of pool, compose a list of things that you can do well. Remembering that there is more to life, more to you, than dating will give you a needed confidence boost and help you maintain perspective.
Confidence is not something you are born with and it is not something you can buy, especially when it comes to dating. But it is something you can practice at until it eventually takes root within you and starts to grow all on its own.
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