Divorce-causing mistakes women can avoid

Posted by Ria, 29 May 13

divorce-causing mistakesWoman 1: "Lisa is going through a divorce."

Woman 2: "That bastard!!!"

It's always the man's fault! It has to be. That is pretty much how the conversation between women goes when one of them is going through a divorce!

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In most cases, without even trying to find out what might have happened to a particular marriage, we automatically pin it all on the husband forgetting that women make mistakes too. And most of these mistakes are made over a long period of time to the extent that some husbands just wakes up one day and decide; Enough is enough! To hell with this marriage. I AM DONE!!!

Teresa Atkin who works with couples and individuals who have gone through the divorce or break up experience says that there are certain common mistakes that keep coming up; that are common to most relationships. She calls them "six marriage mistakes that can easily lead to divorce". The thing is, these mistakes are mistakes made by women without even us realizing that we are actually screwing up our relationships. And these mistakes can easily be avoided if we consciously make the effort to. In the article, Atkin not only talks about them but she also gives simple solutions to avoid these common mistakes. So next time your girl tells you she is going through a bad break up, chances are, she also had an input.

There is no better way to put it so am just gonna copy paste:

1. You talk to friends about the rotten thing you think your husband did to you. Research suggests that friends are often more upset when they think their bestie is being mistreated than when they're experiencing the same mistreatment themselves. Besides, most of us don't really understand how our conditioning and wiring as women differs from our husbands' conditioning and wiring as men. That's why conversations about men with female friends often lead to husband-bashing that helps nobody. The solution is to limit talking about your marital problems to just two people: For example, a trusted friend along with a coach or therapist.

2. You think that talking about these problems with your husband is the answer. All too often, women think that talking to our husbands is the way to make them see how their behavior affects us. If the behavior doesn't change when we first bring it up, we want to talk more, longer, or louder because we think maybe they didn't get it the first time. One of the biggest pet peeves for men is that feeling of being nagged or badgered, especially if they don't know what the problem really is. Also, the rules of polite, kind, nice conversation that women try to follow often come off as indirect, manipulative and mysterious to men. Women often conclude that their husbands don't care because they haven't changed after a particular conversation. The solution: learn communication skills designed specifically to talk with men and spend more time doing fun activities.

3. You believe that your happiness depends on your husband changing. Research has shown that happiness does increase when your husband changes for the better, but that change originates with you. Paradoxically, the women who focused on becoming the person they want to be, rather than on how to get their husband to change, were happier down the road. The solution: Keep Reading

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