Is it really necessary to justify dating interracially? Who cares?
"Why do I date white women?" Ernest Baker begins his article: "The Reality Of Dating White Women When You're Black".
"Nobody cares that you date white girls" is the article Britni Danielle, Freelance Writer and Blogger writes in response "……or Black men, or Black women, or Asian women, or Latino men,"she adds.
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The two articles ignited a discussion on the Huffington Post seeking to answer the question: "Should Blacks Stop Justifying Interracial Love?"
So why is it that quite a number of blacks feel the need to justify why they date interracially? (Or why they don't)
"I never consciously set out to date white women. My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment… All I saw around me were white girls. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive."
He says he never really thinks about race when dating then goes on to add:
"The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white. What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it? … I went to a black high school and I wasn't on any of that thug shit and I'm not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn't really care about me."
See, its ok to date whoever you want. And honestly I think no one owes anyone an explanation. Whether you believe you were wired that way from the womb; who really cares? I believe people are attracted to people who work for them… No need to justify that.
But one thing I really have an issue with is: Why do some of us interracial daters justify our dating interracially by talking negatively about why we don't date our race? 'I don’t date _____ men because…' We NEGATIVELY lump all women and men of our own races (or the races we don’t date for that matter) collectively. Are all of them really like that?
Its like Baker above; insinuating that most black girls in his high school liked thugs; trying to justify why he didn’t date them… trying to make people believe he didn’t consciously reject them.
Don't get me wrong. I date interracially too. But it dawned on me a few years back that I don't need to justify it because I know, there is nothing wrong I am doing. Justifying it means that I feel I aint doing right.
Baker says: "Most people have it wrong." But his justifications make his whole article feel like he is on trial defending himself. Its like subconsciously, he feels interracial dating is wrong... like he is still living in the Virginia vs Loving days.
Do we owe other people explanations for our dating choices? Should we justify dating interracially? Watch the full discussion on the Huffington Post.
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