She left her husband and children for black men

Posted by Ria, 12 Mar 08

My pal divorced her husband and left her kids to try ‘something new’ - dating black men. Much as I am pro-interracial dating, I kind of got pissed at her. Why would she do such a thing? Why doesn’t she want anything to do with her kids?

Is it ok to act on your mid-life crisis, pack up and just follow your heart? Am I the one who is selfish here or is she?

85 responses to "She left her husband and children for black men"

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  1.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 09

    tigerlillies and cloe summed this article up very well. 1. the race of the man she left isn't relevant. she didn't leave the kids because the man was black, she abandoned them because her demented self wanted to "try something new." 2. bf/gf come and go but blood relations especially parent and child is forever. it's unfortunate when ppl give up on loved ones for a relationship, because guess what? it's a guarantee that when a man/woman sees that you have no relationship with your loved ones, they likelihood to abuse you, torment you or just treat you like a piece of $h!+ triples because they no you'll have no one to run to when they hurt you. there's no excuse for such behavior so let's not create one for her by saying she might be depressed or things like that.

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  2.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 09

    Lots of pieces to this story aren't being told. Ridiculous!! Shotgun007

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  3.   tonydevin says:
    Posted: 04 May 09

    well she done fell and bumped her head ...anytime a woman leaves her kids for anyman back, white , yellow, red, green. She must have reall been hittng the pipe................drug aint your friend I always say

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  4.   BrownB09 says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 09

    I think she is wrong for abandoning her kids. Whatever reason she left her husband for is her own buisness.Cmon people lets look at what's really important she abandoned her children! That is way more important than her leaving her husband for a black man!

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  5. Posted: 18 Apr 09

    Color is not the issue here. The situation has been put on this site to stir conversation. I have known women who have place the lust for a boyfriend over there children and I do not care what the circumstances are..they are not real woman in my opinion. A person to say that it is her decision to make is the pathetic excuse alot of people use for tolerating unethical and immoral things people do. pffft. When you have children you have responsibilities and if you decide to leave them, I could care less if it is for a black man or a pink goat or white chipmunk..its wrong

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  6.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 09

    I would have Totally no Remorse , for a Woman who would leave her child / A True Mother would not do such and so . Irresponsable comes to mind . You will Reap what you sow .

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  7.   Glock says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 09

    Typical of what?

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  8. Posted: 04 Mar 09

    Something tells me if she was Black and the dude was white, there would be alot of sympathy for the woman. Seeing as how he's Black, it's a huge problem...typical.

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  9.   lala2qz says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 08

    everyone can have their opinion, but everything isnt black and white, and you dont know the entirety of this situation. From what I can read of this; OBVIOUSLY, she wasnt happy with her husband, her decision to leave him is simply because of that. Yes, sad that she has children with him and the effect it has on them, but how right is it to say she abandoned them when you don't really know that? This silly posting says "My pal divorced her husband and left her kids to try something new" ANYONE, who divorces, WANTS SOMETHING NEW. cause, apparently, they dont want the one they are with and they are UNHAPPY..... Rather she be unhappy right? Rather her have affairs to be contempt maybe? With our society, how can you really be so quick to past judgement? This posting, to me, sounds like bitter ramblings. AND why the emphasis on him being black? I mean, I really can't go along with this post simply stating that she wants black men, so she leaves her children. Could you elaborate in the "abandoned her children" area particularly, because you're using it as a striking point with nothing to back it up. For all I know, she simply divorced him and he wouldnt let her have custody. Mid-life crisis? her children could be young adults. or maybe he or they, just do not approve of her with a black man. Her husband couldve made it very hard for her to see them. I dont know the whole story, and the writer sounds uninformed and biased. sorry, im not gonna bite. People with children divorce all of the time(and yea it sucks), but they do it because its not working, they're sad, husband could be abusive, any number of reasons. why the need for this article? What kind of friend are you to even write this?

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  10.   Cindie says:
    Posted: 01 Oct 08

    This woman sounds mentally ill....

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  11.   wallkaz says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 08

    My friend is back with her husband and her kids she told everybody she was divorced but was not. Things I wrote on how I saw her kids and her husband all having a good time and the only thing that was missing was her.

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  12.   Pia65 says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 08

    I think its rather sad that this woman would walk away from her children..........Children are a beautiful expression of the love shared between spouses......But in this case they are the ultimate victims in the wreck of her marriage. Its also sad to say, but those kids may very well be scared emotionally for a long time to come.

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  13.   wallkaz says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 08

    To also answer the question of my friend her family out of state wants nothing to do with her. She parks her car and men pick her up. I have seen her with 15 different men in the past year. She told people this was why she got divorced so she could date black men. She has a friend that loves her and she pushes him away because he is white.

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  14.   wallkaz says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 08

    I have and update on my friend who did this. She is back dating black men now some background she told me one day how can anybody white date a black. She went to court years ago for be a racist.She has not been near her kids in two weeks. I think your right she sounds like a racist. She calls everybody names and liars I have tried to help.her son wants nothing to do with her.

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  15.   reality says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 08

    Purely a hypothetical situation here.... It seems that no one has picked up on the fact that this woman, who left her children behind to pursue interracial relationships, may indeed be a racist. I have heard of this kind of person. Using "black men" for her pleasure? Not the woman that I would want in a relationship. I wonder. Would she have taken her children with her if she was seeking a new white lover?

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  16.   Afro_Queen says:
    Posted: 18 May 08

    who cares? this is her on decision :S

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  17.   MikeInKorea says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 08

    A woman who leaves her children will leave a man just as easily. Big red flag on this girl.

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  18.   wallkaz says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 08

    I am back I am a white man and I would take my friend back any day. I have told her no matter what she has done.

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  19.   Sepla says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 08

    To me, it is wrong to leave one's children... But why is everyone putting her down about it, when men do it all the time. There doesn't seem to be such as grand of out cry when a man leaves his children and wife. Instead, there are excuses made for him or he just needs counseling. This is ridiculous. It's completely her decision to leave her husband and children to try to make a new life for herself, so leave her alone about it. Only she can live her life. When you walk in another person's shoes you may understand things better from their perspective. Women are people and we all as people make mistakes. Throwing judgments at anyone so that they can bind to our individual will doesn't make any of us any better then the situations that certain people get themselves into. NOT one of us is better then the next. No one is perfect. WE need to look at our own lives and judge ourselves with the same strict guidelines we enforce on others. Maybe a little more love and understand and a little less pointing of the finger will help all of us open our hearts and broaden our minds. Thanks for reading.

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  20.   wallkaz says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 08

    It does what I have a friend who just did th esame thing.My friend still goes and see her children but it not th esame she still left them. Is she there when they have bad dreams and her and her son were close I heard her son will not even speak to his mom. We need to remember how we always saw Jesus with children.This or any women who does this no matter waht the race needs help.

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  21. Posted: 17 Apr 08

    there was only one person that made a lot of since and that was the1tobe that business is between them and most importantly God that stuff should'nt have never got put online. its easy to call her selfish this and that BUT WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE anothers actions when we don't know what the real deal was she might of been getting her ass kick on a day to day bases who know it messed up but there are Boy I cant call them men when they put down brake down a woman self asteam and self warth its SAD Black white what every man woman its more then we really know

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  22. Posted: 17 Apr 08

    there was only one person that made a lot of since and that was the1tobe that business is between them and most importantly God that stuff should'nt have never got put online. its easy to call her selfish this and that BUT WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE anothers actions when we don't know what the real deal was she might of been getting her ass kick on a day to day bases who know it messed up but there are Boy I cant call them men when they put down brake down a woman self asteam and self warth its SAD Black white for every man woman its more then we really know

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  23. Posted: 17 Apr 08

    there was only one person that made a lot of since and that was the1tobe that business is between them and most importantly God that stuff should'nt have never got put online. its easy to call her selfish this and that BUT WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE anothers actions when we don't know what the real deal was she might of been getting her ass kick on a day to day bases who know it messed up but there are Boy I cant call them men when they put down brake down a woman self asteam and self warth its SAD

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  24.   joeb0y519 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 08

    thats jus wrong,has nothing 2 do with him being black but she was selfish cuz of her family should come 1st!

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  25.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 08

    This is one where not knowing all of the facts puts me at a disadvantage, but I'll try not to let that interfere with expressing my opinion. The article didn't say that she left her family for a man, "but to try something new". If that's the only thing, that is one selfish woman. When you decide to have a child, it is a lifelong decision. It's not a ballroom dancing class that you can decide to drop after a few sessions or even years. Leaving a spouse? Well that seems to be a popular decision these days. Part of that is the cavalier attitude towards marriage and giving one's word (those pesky vows ["a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition." - Merriam-Webster]) Part of it is a refusal to "work" on one's marriage. And then people grow apart and are better off apart, even if they weren't from the start. Maybe the father should be the primary child rearer. At least she isn't using the children as a weapon (or is she?). To not want to have anything to do with them is unnatural and at least a little unbalanced. The "something new" being dating Black men is also disturbing. Making decisions based on race is racism ("Discrimination or prejudice based on race." - American Heritage). Of course you can't tell your heart who attracts you, but the somethings new she dates sound like experiments that she will likely abandon as easily as she has marriage, children, salsa classes and her good sense.

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  26.   SmpyItalian says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 08

    She has to have a low self esteem to stoop that low.I guess a white guy didnt want her either. Well, more black women for me then. Brother...heres a note; please take all the white women!

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  27.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 08

    When you say left I hope you do not mean completely because the kids still need her in their life. You also got to question a man that would be down with that. http://blacksinglesblacksingles.spaces.live.com/blog/

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  28.   ethereal99 says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 08

    I agree with sxybrwnsuga on this one. What's the difference? Just a shock value question. She left her kids for another man, not a good thing. We need more info: what was her husband like? Was he an abuser? a sensational headline to make us all go GRRRRRRR!!!!! Tigerlillies, where are you on this one?

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  29.   Eathan says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 08

    I don't think it matters if the other man is black or any other color. Evidently her heart wasn't in her relationship and there were other issues that needed to be dealt with. I'm a firm believer that children are better off in a happy situation, than to be with 2 parents who are unhappy. You don't say if her marriage was a good one or a bad one. But it couldn't be that good if she decided to leave. Maybe there is more than we all know.

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  30.   party1 says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 08

    I am incapabable of judging her!!BUT, losing custody of children or walking away would be devastating . Beyond comprehension as that has been my life dream and a part of me that I could not and would not let go.

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  31.   rocky99 says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 08

    I dont understand any mother who could give up her children for a "MAN" its utterly shameful maybe this woman has necer experienced love in her life but thats no reason....Disgraceful

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  32.   leessa says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 08

    If your friend was not happy with her husband then by all means she should leave him. Does she visit with her children? If not then she is wrong and selfish. Was there a logical reason for leaving the children in the house they are used to? Can her husband give them a better life? If she has left them because they will be better off where they are and visits them on a regular basis and takes them on weekends it is no different than when a man does it. If she has totally cut the children from her life than she is being very selfish. I wonder if the responses would have been the same if it were a man who did this.

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  33.   zulugoddess says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 08

    Hi everyone all the way from South Africa. Talking about my country we are still struggling away from the demons of apartheid but I thought the US was far ahead from us. The person who posted this story is the one with a big problem. For her to come onto this medium with this article and these labels clearly shows what kind of a person she is. Your friend is better off without you and I hope she realises what a stir you have caused at her expense. I don't think you are capable of being a friend and offer support to those close to you.

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  34.   leesah says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 08

    I dont care what the situation was within the household you still do not leave your kids.if it were me my kids would have been right their with me. if i leave my kids leave with me. I cant see myself without my kids. plain and simple.

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  35.   leesah says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    what kind of women would leave her kids. for any reason.and what kind of man would have a women that would do such a thing. I would have to think twice about him as well. if she can do something this down and dirty she's able to do anything.and is it the fact that the man is black that the friend has a problem with, or would she feel as bad about if he were white.my child is and always will be number 1, and if a man cant handle that then he knows what he can do. this is a package deal. and although my daughter is 23 years old i still will not let a man turn me against from dhild. under no circumstances. when it's all said and done when that man is no more who she gonna look for. those very same kids she left behind. a man come's and go. your kids thats a part of you.

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  36.   xtangiex says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    It does not matter the color of a man! What is the problem is the fact she left her CHILDREN! Any woman that does this and the man that accepts it have many underlying issues and sounds like unfortunatly the children are better off! I left my husband (white) after 13 years because I was beyond unhappy! I took my kids with me!! Any man I find would have to accept them too they are a part of me and my blessing and responsibility in life!! Any man that can not accept them is NOT a true man!! Now I do date Black men not as a true prefrence but simply because they have an intrest in me and I have been blessing with wonderful men that have remained my friends and always respected me as a mother and were kind to my children!

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  37.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody We will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and off she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shall we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just to abandon them but to do a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  38.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody We will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and of she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shal we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just abandon them but a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  39.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody W e will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and of she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shal we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just abandon them but a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  40.   Mantronix says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    Some very confused people out there, not a good sign for a black person. To run to a white partner knowing she has black children, very sad not the first time this has happened. There has to be a reason other than selfishness, and complete un-wllingness to solve the relationship. Seen to many mixed relationship break up the children suffer, more than most people rearlise there must be a good reason for this?

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  41.   Rob1962 says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    The fact that the original peron that posted this put black into this equation makes this topic suspect. The idea of a woman leaving her husband for another man regardless of color is sad to say the least. However, there must be more to the story. They probably had troubles within the marriage before she entered into the new relationship. Loving mothers do not just leave there children behind!

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  42.   outpass35 says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    You know what tigerlilies it is not a care it the world to what is printed these days people print things without a care in the world to what arguement it cause or the conflict it stir up. And that is so wrong.

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  43.   tigerlilies says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    Emmce, Brazilian2, 1Apollo1, the1tobe, rissa62 all thought the same thing I did... how odd. This article just really seems made up or in the least, full of holes. If you were telling the whole story, it might be more believable. I think it's messed up to a certain degree to allow someone who's a blogger, but acting in the capacity as a 'journalist', to 'report' half-truths and lies. Shouldn't bloggers be held to the same standards as any other reporter? What happened to the days of when there was integrity and truth in journalism??

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  44.   jade74 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Very good point you made The1tobe..there is more to it sometimes when mothers leave the husband and children.Some just leave,are threaten not to take the children.There's more to it when a mother walks out on the children.Race have nothing to do with it.

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  45.   Cloe27 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Frankly, the race of the man she left her family for isn't relevant. If the guy were purple the fact that remains is that she decided that she no longer wanted to be married. Hopefully, you're mistaken and she didn't leave her children behind. Perhaps its for the best that they stay with their father right now.

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  46.   Brazilian2 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    I am not trying to be rude or trying to offend anyone here when I say this . . . . But something doesn't sound so clear in this story . . as a friend your telling yout outside view of the story and its sounds half ass no offense . There could have been more than one reason why a person . . .male or female . . leaves a family behind . you don't know if her husband is keeping them from her or not . or if there was a situation that happened that was unstable at that time . There could be many cases I am just naming a few . Its sad to think that as her friend you are so busy judging her instead of helping her . Your anger can be put to the side . A friend would help her see where a mistake was made . especially with her children and you would find a way to comfort and help her children . I do go by the old saying . you have to want to help yourself in order for someone to help you . . . but sometimes people have been crying for help and attention and it has been ignored and when a big bang happens your shocked and upset by the actions that were taken . . . It might have been a long stretch of hardship . I would rather hear the whole story then what your short version of non truth is . NO offense .

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  47. Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Now in the Animal kingdom, this would not be an issue. As Human Beings we want to hold ourselves to a higher and clearer standard of living. In this great big world interracial relationships are fast becoming the normal and accepted part of culture. But leaving your husband (or wife) for another partner in this fashion; has to put a damper on faith. Sometimes the only thing you need to do is think - if that was me doing it or on the other end of it. We all have choices; the children did not ask to be here, so if you had them deal with it!!! Unless your are getting abused. But if she left her husband for another man - then 5 years later she would likely cheat again. Trust is not about only into sight, but for 24 hours a day wherever you are...

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  48.   Emmce says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Hackshaw...I guess it is fair to say based upon your observation of the situation that men who leave their children are repulsive then! As a woman and mother, and having known other women and mothers, I have come to the conclusion that it is not easy for a woman to leave her children, we were created as nurturers, and also having known someone who also left her kids with their dad..(she came back) I can say, THEIR IS MORE TO WHAT IS BEING SAID...we don't know what is going on behind closed doors, we don't know how her husband is treating her, maybe she is depressed, however, WHATEVER it is, it is allot for her to handle and that is probably WHY she left. We still don't know her side of the story, so bloggers...DON"T JUDGE HER UNLESS YOU HAVE WALKED IN HER SHOES; and best-friend GIVE US THE FULL STORY!!!

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  49. Posted: 15 Mar 08

    A woman should never choose anyone over her children,i don't care what color the man/person is...all i know once i read the story it sadden me..deep down .Them poor children will now wonder where she is,and ask themselves why she left.She has alot to deal with ....

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  50.   BCM062 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    I have been doing work as a paralegal for the past 16 years dealing in family law. I've found that there are a lots of reason a woman leave her chid or children behind. Sometimes the relationship (marriage or dating) is in peril for the mother and the best recourse is to leave the children until you are safe or, financialy able to provide for them.

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