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Are online dating relationships automatically more than friendship?

Posted by Ria, 16 Oct

Friendship is important in a relationship. But when it comes to online dating, people seem to fast-forward everything… courtship seems to begin immediately… the ‘I love you’s uttered too fast and marriage question popped even after 2 chat sessions. Its like most people move right past friendship and into courtship.

Maybe online dating gives this impression because after reading someones lengthy profile that reveals quite a lot – things that a friend would know – I'd understand why it may seem as though people jump straight into courtship. Well, I believe having a lot on a profile is a good thing because... you don’t waste each other's time.

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I think a profile that tells all at a glance is great because for one, you can tell upfront what someone believes in and it also assist in having an engaging initial conversation. And if the initial conversation is great, what’s to stop a couple from diving right into courtship, especially when you know so much about someone within such a short time?

Do people make decisions like courting and marriage faster than normal? Yes! And I believe, since the getting-to-know-each-other time has been reduced considerably, what’s left is just focusing on what brought you to the dating site in the first place.

If the online platform makes it possible to know so much about someone within a short time, is it wrong to just dive into courtship? Does this really mean that online dating bypasses friendship?

5 responses to "Are online dating relationships automatically more than friendship?"

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serenity33 says:

Posted: 17 Oct 10

I totally agree. Being online should not bypass friendship or speed up the courting process. I treat everyone I meet online as just a friend and never assume more unless the female starts to act obviously interested and talks about having a relationship with me. But I will never be the one to start anything romantic. They will remain and eternal friend and everyone that I talk to privately on this site is strictly a friend and I value their friendship greatly. Sadly enough though, many women associate talking with me as acting as if they are interested so even when I contact someone new, they most of the time will ignore me despite my innocent comments and questions that are totally non-sexual or romantic in nature and so if they don't ignore me, they send a message back saying they are not interested which I respect more than being avoided but still I am insulted by the inference that I am talking to them for romantic reasons. The one's that I respect the most are the one's that say honestly that they are looking for something romantic and they couldn't see it with me and don't have time in their day for more friends. That is a totally cool response because many people lead much busier lives than mine so if they are looking for a romantic relationship online and would never be interested in me romantically and don't have time to be my friend, then I am totally fine with that.:-) I just wish women wouldn't assume so much when they are contacted by me. I can't totally blame them since they are used to men who are just interested in women romantically and if they talk to a woman, there is often a romantic hidden agenda. That isn't the way I roll so I wish women would take the time to read my profile which is probably the longest one on this website and really get to know me before assuming that I am coming on to them romantically by simply talking to them. And if someone who is a friend with me online and has talked with me for many hours ends up being romantically interested in me and makes that known, then I am cool with that and will still keep the friendship and only THEN will I consider them in a romantic capacity but never before. Friendship should never be bypassed in any capacity because who you are romantically really should end up being your best friend anyway.:-)

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Sk1963 says:

Posted: 16 Oct 10

No, online dating relationships are not automatically more than an in person actual relationship. Before the internet people use to write letters to each other "pen pals". Internet friendships are similar except for technological gadgets like web cams. There is a difference in meeting someone at an event than online. There is a lot more to observe in an actual situation where you are developing a friendship than developing an online friendship. I think people can meet online and develop a true friendship, but is not as simple as it appears to be.

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- serenity33 says:
  
  Posted: 24 Oct 10
  
  I totally agree. Being online should not bypass friendship or speed up the courting process. I treat everyone I meet online as just a friend and never assume more unless the female starts to act obviously interested and talks about having a relationship with me. But I will never be the one to start anything romantic. They will remain and eternal friend and everyone that I talk to privately on this site is strictly a friend and I value their friendship greatly. Sadly enough though, many women associate talking with me as acting as if they are interested so even when I contact someone new, they most of the time will ignore me despite my innocent comments and questions that are totally non-sexual or romantic in nature and so if they don’t ignore me, they send a message back saying they are not interested which I respect more than being avoided but still I am insulted by the inference that I am talking to them for romantic reasons. The one’s that I respect the most are the one’s that say honestly that they are looking for something romantic and they couldn’t see it with me and don’t have time in their day for more friends. That is a totally cool response because many people lead much busier lives than mine so if they are looking for a romantic relationship online and would never be interested in me romantically and don’t have time to be my friend, then I am totally fine with that.:-) I just wish women wouldn’t assume so much when they are contacted by me. I can’t totally blame them since they are used to men who are just interested in women romantically and if they talk to a woman, there is often a romantic hidden agenda. That isn’t the way I roll so I wish women would take the time to read my profile which is probably the longest one on this website and really get to know me before assuming that I am coming on to them romantically by simply talking to them. And if someone who is a friend with me online and has talked with me for many hours ends up being romantically interested in me and makes that known, then I am cool with that and will still keep the friendship and only THEN will I consider them in a romantic capacity but never before. Friendship should never be bypassed in any capacity because who you are romantically really should end up being your best friend anyway.:-)
  
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- serenity33 says:
  
  Posted: 28 Oct 10
  
  I totally agree with you. Being online should not bypass friendship or speed up the courting process. I treat everyone I meet online as just a friend and never assume more unless the female starts to act obviously interested and talks about having a relationship with me. But I will never be the one to start anything romantic. They will remain and eternal friend and everyone that I talk to privately on this site is strictly a friend and I value their friendship greatly. Sadly enough though, many women associate talking with me as acting as if they are interested so even when I contact someone new, they most of the time will ignore me despite my innocent comments and questions that are totally non-sexual or romantic in nature and so if they don’t ignore me, they send a message back saying they are not interested which I respect more than being avoided but still I am insulted by the inference that I am talking to them for romantic reasons. The one’s that I respect the most are the one’s that say honestly that they are looking for something romantic and they couldn’t see it with me and don’t have time in their day for more friends. That is a totally cool response because many people lead much busier lives than mine so if they are looking for a romantic relationship online and would never be interested in me romantically and don’t have time to be my friend, then I am totally fine with that.:-) I just wish women wouldn’t assume so much when they are contacted by me. I can’t totally blame them since they are used to men who are just interested in women romantically and if they talk to a woman, there is often a romantic hidden agenda. That isn’t the way I roll so I wish women would take the time to read my profile which is probably the longest one on this website and really get to know me before assuming that I am coming on to them romantically by simply talking to them. And if someone who is a friend with me online and has talked with me for many hours ends up being romantically interested in me and makes that known, then I am cool with that and will still keep the friendship and only THEN will I consider them in a romantic capacity but never before. Friendship should never be bypassed in any capacity because who you are romantically really should end up being your best friend anyway.:-)
  
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Sk1963 says:

Posted: 16 Oct 10

I understand what you are saying but I believe that when people meet on dating sites they have the ability to set boundaries/rule and proceed accordingly. They can say let's take one step at a time or ignore the fact that they have the ability to do so. Online dating is not the only instance where people instantly sign and seal the fate of a relationship. People do it offline too! I am not sure how often the outcomes of those hasty relationship decisions result in healthy, lasting relationships.

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