Do you prefer sleeping in seperate beds?

Posted by Ria, 12 Aug

Sleeping in separate beds; how unromantic!

You think?

Find your soulmate on AfroRomance

Well, dead romance or not, do I really have to share a bed with some snoring, sleep-talking being; which means a sleepless night for me and a cranky me the following day? I mean, if sleeping in a separate bed from your partner is the only way to catch some snooze, why not do it?

Looking at history, and in David K. Randall: Dreamland: Adventures in the Strange Science of Sleep, 120 years ago, couples used to sleep in separate beds… In the Victorian era especially, sharing a bed was considered unsanitary and dangerous. "There was this idea that if you were sleeping next to somebody they could be stealing your 'life forces,'" he says.

Sharing beds started sometime in the 1930s, 40s or even 50s, and much as its now considered popular in America, according to some Canadian sleep scientist, sleeping solo for couples is common; like up to 40% of couples sleep separately. And in a follow-poll on the same carried out by, where 14,000 people responded, 60% of the people anonymously polled said they actually sleep better alone than with their partners.

Apparently, sleeping alone isn’t necessarily associated with relationships' emotional and sex problems as many of us would like to think. Sleeping solo is commonly driven by restless sleepers next to us, says New York City psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz. Also, the older the couple gets, the higher the likelihood of sleeping separately. Dr. Neil Stanley, a UK sleep specialist says, "When you are young or in the first flush of a relationship, I don’t think sleeping separately is very common, but when you get to middle age you are perhaps more pragmatic."

Much as it’s a good feeling to cuddle next to your boo, "Sleep deprivation has been linked to poorer health, including increased likelihood of obesity", and many other things like depression, diabetes, heart disease and hypertension. "… zombie-fied couples who don’t get enough sleep are more likely to fight", says Saltz

One sleep study had couples sleep separately one night and together another night, while measuring each person’s brain waves to assess sleep quality. “Interestingly, couples said they slept better when they were sharing a bed with their partner,” says David K. Randall, ...although couples said they slept better together, their brain waves told a different story, showing sleep disturbances and wakefulness throughout the night. When sleeping separately, they were able to fall asleep faster and sleep better, all night long.

"… if you’re just looking at sleep itself, you’re generally going to sleep better when you sleep in a bed by yourself," Randall says… especially if you’re sleeping with someone who kicks and snores in their sleep, he adds. "That’s not necessarily fun to sleep next to."

One of the readers of, Nikki Garcia Lopez admits that she and her husband of 17 years have slept in separate rooms for 10 of those years. "He snores loud and moves (too) much keeping me up all night." But sleeping separately hasn’t affected their relationship. She says, "We are very happy."

Some couples lose the intimacy (both sexual and emotional) and the spontaneity of their sex lives (‘I’m here, you’re here, let’s get in the mood.’) when they stop sharing a bed. But according to Saltz, if retreating to the Victorian era’s sleeping style works for the two of you - if the intimacy and spontaneity can remain intact? - "Hey, snooze on!"

Do you think it warrants sleeping alone if your partner constantly disturbs your sleep as he or she is enjoying their’s? Do you sleep better alone, or while cuddled next to your boo?

6 responses to "Do you prefer sleeping in seperate beds?"

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   Robby2u says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 14

    A committed relationship is built on growing together as well as bonding over time and sleeping in the same bed an important element developing that spiritual closeness.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  2.   Brownb09 says:
    Posted: 06 Oct 13

    Oh no! Seperate beds?! I don't think that would work

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  3.   jasmin3333 says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 13

    wel,to me i don't t think separating bed is gud only may be when there is sickness .

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  4.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 13

    Separate beds? No way. My wife and I want to be close even if we take turns snoring, that's part of marriage.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  5.   Silverelite says:
    Posted: 12 Aug 13

    Separate beds???? Negitron!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
    • Hon3yspice says:
      Posted: 18 Aug 13

      Silver, I noticed your comments on quite a few blogs and I must say... you make me laugh everytime.

      Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
      Reply to this comment