The online introductory message that gets replies

Posted by Ria, 02 Sep

So you have come across the profile of a man or woman you wanna get to know better. You want that introductory mail to be one that won’t scare them off. Where to begin?

Well, YourTango Expert Julie Spira has the answer that will make that intro email catch the attention you deserve. Apparently, if you follow these simple rules, you will certainly get that well deserved reply.

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I used to think long emails would get me the attention. I always assumed giving details about my life would get me the replies. Well, after watching Spira's video, I think my 4-paragraphed mails were read by very few if ever. It was very frustrating. One of Spira’s rules is to "keep it really, really short" - like 2-3 sentences short!

So how do you compose that perfect intro message?

First of all mention something specific you saw in this person’s profile; what really caught your interest. If you see something you have in common with this person, mention it. It kinda helps the person feel some connection with you. She also advices us to use “Hi” as opposed to “Hey”. Apparently, “Hi” is much friendlier; "Hey" should be left for donkeys. :lol:

Grammar and spelling need to be right: No typos and keep lol's and acronyms out of it. Using good grammar and spelling shows that you are treating the whole thing seriously and more respectfully ; which you should coz you are expecting that reply right?

Well, in that 2-3 sentence email, try throwing in a compliment – not too much about the persons appearance though so don’t over flatter – people looking for serious relationships don’t just look for relationships based purely on physical attraction. Plus ask a question. That way, it appears that you are actually interested in knowing more about this person and I am sure they will be more than happy to hit that reply button.

What makes you reply to an introductory email?

4 responses to "The online introductory message that gets replies"

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  1. Posted: 14 Sep 13

    I agree with many of the points that were made, the intro email must be an attention getter if you expect a serious and sincere response. Put the work in to make it stand out. And just for the intro email referencing sex is tacky and uncouth!

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  2.   Dasandra says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 13

    My biggest issue are the emails full of 2 an 3 word responses. Why reach out and have nothing to say? "I think your nice","you too." Should not be be a full response.This article is helpful. I hope it is read by many. I am contemplating renewing my membership...

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  3.   AJ1300 says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 13

    Dave_74 I totally agree with you in paragraph 2, "metric crap load indeed" I’ve seen profile with women taking selfies in their bathroom mirrors in undies etc then profile heading is saying "no players" I lot of women hit hard on us men talking about our introductory message when they are doing the same, I asked more than two questions in my profile, I have been receiving over 16 plus messages per week and maybe two out of the 16 plus is relating to my profile.

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  4.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 13

    Wow this is spot on. I agree . In the world of internet dating one of the first things we will notice is the vast amount of flirts, followed by e-mails etc. and you really have to set up some sort of filtering system. Anyone who wrote very generic things like "I love your profile" however failed to mention anything to support that she might have actually read it was out. If her profile included words like "god fearing woman seeking god fearing man" that was out. I looked for honesty, sincerity , inner beauty on AR...(There is a metric crap load of outer beauty on AR , I think every guy agrees on that) so why settle for just outer beauty when you can have it all? What got me to reply was things like an E-mail showing me a woman actually took some time to read my profile carefully and made it obvious in the subject line. If I have in my profile that besides English , I speak German and French and I got an e-mail with "Guten Tag" as a subject (anyone with Google translate can do that).....However , That caught my attention. Or "nice rock climbing pic" as a subject referring to a pic in my profile... Over the years I got about 32Gb worth of unread e-mails with "Hey" as a subject line. If you wrote me before and I remember you then writing a 2nd time with "Hey" is somewhat acceptable, but as a first time? Never, Then it got filtered out. Great story Ria! I hope this helps people in their quest for true love.

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