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Beauty or breeding racism?

Posted by Ria, 17 Jul

beauty or breeding racismColorism has plagued this nation since God knows when. There is a common belief that light skin is beautiful, means more opportunities, better jobs, more respect, acknowledgement and better treatment from society.

Some Black women bleach themselves so they can ‘beautiful’. Having looked up the word beautiful, there is no mention of ‘color’ in the definition. Anyhow, here are a couple of reasons two women gave for bleaching:

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“Most of this is done to impress men, and when you have black brothers telling you things like ‘I’d rather see 12 black women die than to see one white women with a runny nose’… then you have artist like Chris Rock, coming on TV making Fun of black women, and mocking them. Its like what are you suppose to do?”

“My husband fell in love with me but completely adores my skin color. I can’t change my skin tone now cause he knows me as being light. Bottom line is if you are ugly, nobody notices when u are light skin.”

So what do you make of this woman (featured on the Tyra Banks show - video below) who in a twisted attempt to make herself ‘beautiful’ bleached her 3 sons too … exposing their delicate skin to harsh concoctions every day; with the darkest one getting a little extra?

Bleaching yourself is one thing. But doing it to ones own children!!!! :roll: They say light skinned people have it easier over their dark skinned counterparts. They say a mother knows best. But seriously, is this what it’s come to; altering our children’s perceptions on color? This is exactly how racism is bred.

No pun intended but looking at how those of us who are ‘rich in color’ spring in to action in reaction to ‘racism’ or perceived racism against us, don’t you think by doing so, we are responsible for promoting the slave mentality and colonial mindset we are trying so hard to eliminate?

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163 responses to "Beauty or breeding racism?"

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  1.   Vanillalvr says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 09

    Let me first start by saying kudos to the response given by DrCourage. Your response was very uplifting and the absolute TRUTH. MIRI2008, you always give responses that mirror what I'm thinking. I loved the post where you went from #1-#9 with OTHER practices that other races are doing to change their appearance etc. However, I am not surprised at all that I didn't read alot of responses to that accurate statement. An Asian dermatologist told me that bleaching is a huge billion dollar industry in the Asian market alone, but that wasn't mentioned within this blog story. These repetitive one-dimensional, discriminating stories (relating to African American women) are so played out and I question the motive of the editor who is posting these blogs. Can we celebrate our differences? Can we have some blogs that will make us laugh, smile, celebrate our differences and embrace other cultures? Something that will spark curiosity in some and inspire engagement in more dialogue between men and women of different races ? Shouldn't the motive of an Interracial dating site be to UNITE people who are interested in Interracial dating? SHEESH!!!!!!!!! Yes, blacks have issues, whites have issues, latinos have issues, asians have issues, indians have issues, those of caribbean decent have issues - am I sounding like a broken record yet?? WE ALL HAVE ISSUES! If we dialogue about diverse stories (instead of just African Americans all the time), I think people will see that ALL races have more in common than we think. My wise mother always said "You don't have control over people, you only have control over how you allow something to affect you and how you respond". I'm actually two shades darker than my normal complexion after being in this California sun for 14 years and I don't have a complex at all about being darker than I usually am. I carry myself with respect and dignity and I LOVE MYSELF. Men of all races approach me, because it's how you carry yourself and the confidence you exude which is sexy to alot of men (thanks Prettypepper for your post also) . When I was growing up, I was made fun of by kids too. Kids would pull their eyes in an upward slant and say "Ching Ching Chong Chong" to me like a chinese lady. My sisters were treated the exact same way and it just never bothered us. I know who God made me, so I didn't sweat the small stuff. I was approached by girls who wanted to beat me up too, because they said "I thought I was all that", but it didn't have anything to do with light skin or dark skin. I am a girly girl and have always carried myself with poise and that wasn't "black enough". My mom kept my hair together, nails polished and I wore nice clean clothes. I never acted like I was better than anyone else...insecure women with low self-esteem felt that way and that's wasn't and still isn't my problem. I love everybody anyway and there is nothing anyone can do about it. That's my response to anyone dealing with self-hate issues, I LOVE THEM BACK. I continue to be the change that I want to see in the world. As an avid traveler, it's amazing how much race plays a part in the American culture. Europe for instance is so laid back and I love it. No one makes a big deal of interracial couples there. No one makes a big deal of an older woman dating a younger man over there. People don't make a big deal of Birracial people over there. Women having babies over 40 is not a big deal over there....It's just no big deal. People just enjoy their lives - THAT'S LIVING!!! I have British, French & Dutch black girlfriends who are dating and when they tell me about the guy they are dating, they never mention race. Race is just not an issue over there and I love it! I do not speak for ALL of Europe, but only from my experiences. Aliekatt2 & Takinitall my heart goes out to you for having to go through what you went through. You are both beautiful women and everything in life is a learning experience and I'll assume that your experiences made you each stronger and a better person. Lastly, Hansgruber your post made me laugh and it was true too!

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  2.   chicnvanilla says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 09

    In my opinion, racism stems from ignorance. If you look at most of the successful African American entertainers they have light skin, weave or staighten their hair and use colored contacts. A lot of successful actors/actresses are also light skinned, it sends a message the lighter the better, its a sad fact. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone. The movie "School Daze" is a perfect example of blacks hating on each other, because of their perception of what is accepted as beauty by white America. Life is to short to worry about skin tones. If we were meant to be one color and speak one language we would be. Wouldnt life be boring with no variety ? We alI belong to one race: THE HUMAN RACE.

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  3.   DrCourage says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 09

    I just joined this site and I am glad I did especially for these types of discussions. If we as people both black and white do not grab a hold of the love that God has for us, and the care He took in designing us uniquely, then we will never walk in the victory of self-love whether we are dark as night (as myself) or snow white.

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  4.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 09

    takinitall Actually your assumption would be wrong...However, I could careless about it then or now...However, "inner city" doesn't have a bullying problem, most of their violence is drug or gang related. And "other communities" teach their children self defense as well, to defend themselves from bullies...Funny thing, I have seen that particular girl as an adult, she was a fat kid and she is now an even fatter adult, you can just look at obese people and know, something is wrong...I mean who would eat themselves to death, have no regards for their bodies and health.. And of course these people blame the food industry, genetics, Professor Plumb as oppose to the truth..They are eating to much and not exercising enough....So, I found her just as laughable as a adult as when she was a child. What is not funny is...She doesn't even get it. And regardless of it having merit or not, who would let some bully or opinions of others dominate their lifes forever. I was raised without limitations and I refuse to live that way, no one should project their woes of life on others, which is what breeds bullies.... suprised Well, I will give you this.... We love to focus on distractions instead of taking care of our business. We are treated badly because we need to get our acts together. We need to focus on building wealth , buying property and taking advantage of being born in the best country in the world!!Stop blaming white people and the media for your low self esteem.

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  5.   toungejob says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 09

    The darker the berry, the sweeter the wine. Black is beautiful and u cant buy it. Am black and proud.

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  6.   suprised says:
    Posted: 28 Jul 09

    We are the biggest hypocrites!!! We can't bleach our skin or press our hair fast enough. How SAD!!!!Someone told US Black is inferior and we belived it.( so much so that we waste our lives trying to gain White acceptance and approval.) I will never bleach my skin or press my hair!!!! We love to focus on distractions instead of taking care of our business. We are treated badly because we need to get our acts together. We need to focus on building wealth , buying property and taking advantage of being born in the best country in the world!!Stop blaming white people and the media for your low self esteem.

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  7.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 09

    Children are supposed to Enjoy Life as they Learn the Positive Things it Holds for those that desire . To earn them . Meanwhile children need the Care of Two Parents their whole first 18 years

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  8.   takinitall says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 09

    @ Allikat2 I see you are also in California. I joined this singles group and they are having a party this Saturday in Pasadena. Check it out maybe you will be interested as well. www.supersinglemixers.com @ Nandi I'm going to assume that you have never been bullied. Well you are right kids who bully others have issues with themselves. As the child getting bullied you start to wonder why me? and start to feel as though something is wrong with you, hell I thought my name was "yellow b*tch" for a long time. That is what Allikat meant when she said their issues become yours. Also growing up in the inner city is different than anything else. If you don't fight back, that opens the door for other people to bully you and your bully will torture you your entire life. Even now I see people who use to bully me in school and they still have issues with me. As an adult I'm able to shake it off and keep going, but as a child that's virtually impossible even when you have the strongest parents. When I taught high school, I never took lunch. I kept my room open as a safe place for kids to come, who would normally be picked on at lunch. As a result of me sacraficing my lunch hour, kids felt safer at school and developed relationships amongst each other. Kids deserve to enjoy their childhood with extra drama of skin tone and other ignorant stuff. Too many adult issues are put on kids and they shouldn't have to carry it.

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  9.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 09

    Well said hansgruber! And there is no such thing as a slave mentality....Slaves did not have a mentality..They had a reality....This is just offensive race bating...Blacks are not a monolithic race, I cannot think of one race/ethnic group that is monolithic...So, I still fail to get the point other than to race-bait, by way of offending....

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  10.   hansgruber says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 09

    Once again the author takes a few extreme examples impugning the disorder to a wide population and suddenly its a 'slave mentality.' Give your obsessions a rest. Please. Enough with the race baiting. Enough spouting your racial psychosis publicly. Will you be writing about the white obsession with tanning beds? Or black gangster culture by white kids? The fact is a small minority of people want to be lighter, a small minority of people want to be darker. It is not symbolic of slave mentality or black racism against your own people, irrespective of unrepresentative anecdotal evidence. There is no such thing as pervasive "darkism" in society, so give your own paranoid delusions a rest, get on Prozac, and quit disseminating your divisive leftist bilge 'Ria'.

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  11.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 09

    Where ever there are dark skin people there is the belief that the fair the skin tone the better they are. It is part of the curse we must deal with. But to buy into the whole ideas of what the outside tell us what is beautiful sets you up for failure. You are doomed. We must accept that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and skin tones. It makes for such a more interesting world if we look at it like that.

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  12.   morninflower says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 09

    @David1975 - I see my previous comment to you was not acceptable by the moderators - so I will try and be as polite as possible and tell you this - please do not post a general comment that all Kenyan people desire to be light skinned. I am of the said heritage and I take offense to your statements.

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  13.   morninflower says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 09

    @David1975 - I'm Sorry??..I am of Kenyan Heritage and extremely proud to be black. What part of Kenya did you live? I don't think it's fair for you to generalize and say that "we as a people think that having light skin is the way to go" NOT all of us think that or even want to be light skinned! I am sure you may have encoutered a number of women - and I can name some the streets and locations where these women get all "dolled" up and act a certain way to attract expatriates etc - BUT that is not a true representation of ALL Kenyans - That is false and general statement and I am a little insulted by your comments. A majority of the people I know and trust me.. I know alot of people of all social, economic backgrounds..different tribes from different villages, slums, towns, cities that are PROUD of their skin color - We did afterall suffer horrible cruelty under colonialism and such wounds do not heal easy - so for us, light skin does not always represent "flower fields and rainbows". My maternal grandfather was a freedom fighter in the Mau-Mau movement so such general statements really get a rise out of me (in case you can't tell). Skin color was never an issue for me growing up; all I had to worry about was the next time I would get to climb a tree or swim in the river, work in the family farm - it was a very laid back situation - unfortunately, when I got exposed to city life - I encountered people especially women that were trying to conform to what they thought men especially expatriates coming to work in my country wanted/needed - Is that the only reason? no..absolutely not..there are some dumb..insecure people that want to burn their skin to fill some void that is beyond skin deep. Like I said in my earlier post.. it's just dumb..- plain and simple. P.S. Great posts everyone! I am saddened by those that had to endure cluelty in school! kids can be mean!

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  14.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 24 Jul 09

    miri2008 I would have to agree, for a site promoting interracial dating...There sure is alot of "racial topics" as oppose to topics germaine to this site, majority of which is offensive. They are offensive because their are ill-formed, since the beginning of time women because of the history of women in a male dominated world have always struggled with identity and sense of self-worth...And that would be all women. So there really is no resolve and point...These situations will always exists is various forms, from eating disorders, cosmetic surgery to even drug usage...I see no reason to project that solely on one race... And if it disturbing and extreme, only means some of these women have issue deeper than changing of their appearsnce. But really indeed..... aliekatt2 I would never let anyone project their self-esteem issues, misery, anger, pain etc...on me, especially if I am not the cause of it...I feel truly sorry for people like that, but destructive people will destroy your world if you let them in...Children who fight everyday and look for people to bully have not so much of anger issues but pain/hurt issues...Specialists already knows that anger is just pain turned inside out.

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  15.   aliekatt2 says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 09

    Que` Bola People I concur with most of what you said@ Comment by Nandi But when you have to fight everyday just to get home, then their self esteem issues become yours. Whether you yourself have confidence in yourself, has nothing to do with having to fight on a daily basis,because you don't see yourself as better than them, they're the ones with the issues. And takinitall can get my back on this. It aien't kewl... If anything its a wonder that I didn't have self esteem issues myself, but I had a strong mother, how taught me that I was worthy to be loved and respected as a woman, no mater what my skin color was.

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  16.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    Thanks PrettyPepper : ) the way people are carrying on, you'd think that someone was making this bleaching stuff in their kitchen and selling it to just these five women...lol.. I'm thinking it's a fairly large industry supplied by fairly large chemical processing facilities, which are finding a market large enough to justify the industry's continued existence. So, obviously some number of people must use these lotions/creams. This is just Tyra doing her thing. What would you do if you had to compete with Maury for ratings… lol I must say, as I stated on a different blog on this site, that while I like the concept of this website (specifically geared to cross ethnic dating), I'm finding the experience to be somewhat questionable. A large number of these blog topics are consistently racist in nature and narrowly focused. It is as if 'race' must constantly be made into an issue. I find this to be petty and small minded. Even if the site administrators feel that big time world events and heavy intellectual topics are out of place here, for goodness sakes, this is a dating site! Could we at least stay focused on relationships? What works, what doesn't, moving from on-line to in-person interaction safely, great first date experiences, horrible first date experiences, keeping the flames burning in the relationship, and on and on and on... : ) I will certainly stick around till the end of my subscription, but really… ugh!

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  17.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    summerbrees, great post..... I also believe that rejecting ones own culture is not that difficult, we can surely reject the negativity in our culture that stunts our progress mentally. What needs to be said to people who attempt to malign others because of their own sense of self-worth is simply.."Could you not project your low self-esteem and self-worth on me". Because that is what it is... Personally, I love me some me wouldn't matter if I was darker or lighter, I will always love the skin I am in, my self worth is what I am willing to work for and achieve, my self-esteem is for all those who are part of my culture/race who paved the roads to the many choices, options and opportunities that I do have now...I could careless what someone thinks about me; especially solely based on the colored of my skin...Not enough to make me buckle...I just wish others would recognized you do have options, even to get professional help. As far as racism...We are all born into it and no doubt will die into it, but there is no denying that much progress has happened on this issue, so there is no real or valid issue to this skin issue...Because it cannot stop you for being educated, pursuing your dreams and ambitions in life. So at the end of day, the choice and consequences for the most part our your very own.

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  18.   Taffy000 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    I haven't watched the segment yet. I don't believe there's always racism behind wanting to "lighten" or "even out" one's skin tone. As Blacks are well aware, we aren't all one tone on our bodies anyway! As long as the creams aren't damaging the children's skin I don't see a problem with it. It's just like putting cocoa butter lotion on I think. I think the problem comes in when people associate Black or darker skin as being undesirable and light skin as being prettier. I've suffered with this as well as simply not being thought of as desirable. I won't even start on the whole good hair/bad hair issue. It's heck to grow up in a small town and to not be thought of as beautiful that stick with you. It wasn't until after I traveled a bit and got different reactions that I realized just how beautiful I was/am. I can say I struggle with this whole beauty issue. I accept myself for who I am. Where I live, there aren't a ton of non Black men who date Black women. I've done the whole speed dating thing & NOT been chosen!! Yet I can come online & get a fairly steady amount of attention. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I learned that at a very early age!

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  19.   prettypepper says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    Miri2008, THANK YOU! Because all these women who are so "hurt" and "disgusted" about the practice of bleaching the skin are hypocritical. What difference does it make if Beyonce or any other Black woman adds "blond pieces" to a whole head of fake hair! It isn't just about skin tone, it's about not loving EVERYTHING about yourself--skin tone, hair texture, eye color, body shape, etc., and not buying into the notion that you have to have 'white' features and hair (which is a joke, because I've seen plenty of white people with full lips, large noses, protruding eyes, big asses, kinky hair, etc. and people of other races with the so-perceived 'white' physical attributes) to be considered beautiful. I have an average complexion and I happen to be pretty. So what? The so what is I've experienced so much jealousy and hatred at the hands of BLACK WOMEN about something over which I had no control. My youngest sister is very dark. She has ALWAYS had men of EVERY race chasing after her because it's about her attitude (and great personality)--she KNOWS she's beautiful. She's also experienced a lot of jealousy. We both have curly hair. Her curls are thick, glossy and much looser than mine. Big deal. My curls are like corkscrews. Who cares. It makes me sick that I can not wear my hair in it's natural state without BLACK WOMEN commenting on it--"You have nice hair," "Your hair is beautiful" "I wish my hair was like yours" and the one that makes me want to vomit "She has GOOD hair." I don't care if they're trying to be complimentary (it's OFFENSIVE to me)--the topic of hair is an obsession with Black women. Why!? They don't even KNOW me. I'd rather they ask me my name than make some comment about my hair! ALL HAIR IS GOOD! ALL SKIN TONES ARE BEAUTIFUL! Black women need to see themselves as beautiful; nobody else can do it for them. And everytime they fake-up their hair, wear colored CLs, bleach their skin, etc. THEY THEMSELVES perpetuate the notion that they aren't beautiful. And Bluespec5, you're dreaming if you think Asian women don't have issues about their skin tone. They also have issues with the shape of their eyes. People of EVERY culture (including European) have image issues. Black people, women in particular, just have the most because, generally, they believe the lie. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't think we need to revisit this nonsense ever again. Please forgive the rant, but this article really struck a nerve.

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  20.   Nandi says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    This is really an extreme case and these types of cases are not really race related...We have women all over have implants, injections, eating disorders etc...These women needs professional help and alot of this disorders particularly involving Black Women....Some how they always get tied into racism....When their outer appearance is not the root of the problem, no more than the eating disorders are the root of those girls/women problem...What you will find that is universal is low-self esteem, inability to fit in... We live in a society that looks matters, cosmetics, plastic surgery, weight loss is an multi-billion dollar industry. And alot of women take up these obsessions than to deal with the deep seated issues...Which alot of it includes physical and sexual abuse as children. http://www.foothillsalliance.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=22&Itemid=25 According to this report 1 in 4 girls in the USA, will be sexually abused before 18 years old...So, I really do not think alot of this "Black self-hatred" have little to nothing to do with why so many women, are into these extreme behaviors.

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  21.   chellebelle6 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    Wow, I've never experienced the beat down because of my skin color thank God! I haven't been told I was better then anyone else either. My first issue with this is with my children. My ex is very dark and we have 3 beautiful children that all took his complexion. My middle daughter struggles the most even though I tell her she's soooo beautiful to me and the rest of the world! It breaks my heart. I'm always trying to build her confidence and she's just angry that she doesn't look more like me. It's so sad that this has been used for years to divide us. My grandmother always said you're no better but just the say as everyone else.

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  22.   takinitall says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    OMG! Alikatt I swear our stories mirror each other, hug youself for me. I also attended school in South Central; Watts to be exact, but we lived in Victorville. My mom commuted daily for work and wanted us to have a "balanced life." Of course I learned ghetto etiquette which comes in handy today, in fact I tell people "I'm from a little town called Watts, California." Ok, back to the topic at hand. I am really happy to have read all of the responses from the beautiful dark sisters. It makes me feel good about my daughters confidence level. I have lots of dark skinned friends who are not very secure in their skin. My kids attend an all black school and my daughter just started kindergarten. Many of my friends have recommended that I change her school (preferably to a predominately white school), due to fear of her being teased and taunted by other kids. I am currently battling with their suggestions. One may argue that as long as the parents instill pride and confidence the child will be ok. The reality is kids are mean and I don't want my baby to grow up hating herself. I constantly tell her she's beautiful and call her princess, top model, diva and much more. Does anyone have any concrete things I can do or say to her to raise her self esteem?

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  23.   hitech12 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    Hi everyone, this is my first time on the blog, but I've enjoyed reading everyone's opinion on this matter. Let me first say that I couldn't even finish watching the video above because to me, it was ridiculous. I'm a light skinned black man, and even though I can tell you first hand, light skinned blacks don't have it easier, I believe all shades of black are beautiful, just as I feel that EVERY race has something beautiful to offer this world. My dad is a light skinned black man, and my siblings and I all have the same skin tone as he does. My mom has beautiful dark brown skin. Not once was skin tone an issue in our house growing up. No one ever even mentioned it. However, going to school and growing up, I was always called hi yellow, red bone, light bright and almost white, and I can go on and on. Just about everyone thought my mom was a White woman. I never got into too many fights, because that was just the way things were. I would even say things to those darker than myself out of anger. Both dark and light complexion blacks just picked on each other that way. However that didn't make it right. 1nohana had an excellent point when she wrote, 'we make more of those differences and variations in skin tone than White people do'. I'm sorry to repeat what has already been written, but we are all black no matter how light or how dark. We have got to get over this ridiculous thinking because to me, it divides us as a race in a way, and it shouldn't be like that. I look at my mom today, who as I mentioned has smooth dark brown skin, and is beautiful. I have no idea how someone can say lighter skin is better. All races have attractive features and different skin tones. No one is the same and there is so much more to a person than their skin pigment. We all need to remember that, no matter what skin tone we may have, or what race we are.

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  24.   aliekatt2 says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    lol @ Treacle09 so true. Lol @ summerbrees the feminist in me screams too, to think that it was done on some scale for men. But as a person who is mixed and light sknited (hee-tee) I have to agree with takinitall! I got jumped everyday ( which means I can kick ass now), so much so that my dad put me in a dojo. When my parents moved here from New York, they moved to S.Central trying to fit in. My dad's Cuban and my mom's mixed. I went to catholic school, had hair to my butt, and grey eyes. My oldest brother was a blonde and has blue eyes, and my other brother was a red head, and has hazel eyes, and my youngest has green eyes. (and we won't even get into my younger siblings). There wasn't a day that my mother wasn't at the skool for one of her kid fighting. They would tease my brother and ask him if my parents dyed his hair,called him white boy and he'd git mental and commence to ass kicken. We're Cubano/Boicua, not white lol j/k. Anywhoo, When I was 11 I got jumped by four darker skin girls, because they said that I thought I was better than them. They ripped my shirt off during the fight, so I had to walk eight blocks to my house with my back pack on backwards to keep my boobies from showing. (not to mention cracked the eye-bone above my eye socket, bulled out massive amounts of my hair, and fractured my arm.) (My mom was gonna cut each one of them lol.)Funny but not. Just because you're light skinned doesn't mean that it more tolerable for you. It sucks to say that my parents had to move their children out of the neighborhood. Its even sadder to say that I was happy from then on, because my parents moved to Hollywood, and me and my brothers and sisters fit in then. I never had another fight because of my skin color. And the thing with Cubans and Puerto Ricans, we can be either light or dark skinned. My daughter is the only Dark skinned person in my family and she is a beautiful queen, and I tell her this everyday. Her skin color does not equate her worth, she will always be my princess, and I said princess, not black princess, because her skin color should not matter.

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  25.   david1975 says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Im English but lived in Kenya and they think that the lighter there skin colour the better they are. They even call people who are very black. I love black women and the blacker the better for me :-)

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  26.   rarestgold says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    When I was really young and didn't know better, it hurt a little bit when guys wouldn't look at me (but at my light skinned friends) or when people (even family members) would comment on my "darkness". That was then. Early on I learned to not care what others thought of me because my parents constantly reaffirmed my beauty. I also had a whole lot of something else going for me - confidence - because if you don't believe in yourself who else will?

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  27.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Do any of the following fall into the same category as the bleaching practice? 1) chemicals and/or heat to straighten hair 2) weave to add length/volume to hair 3) colored contact lenses to give eye color variety 4) literally baking in the sun/tanning bed to tan 5) using tanning lotions to appear tan 6) breast implants 7) various other forms of cosmetic surgery 8) chemical peeling of the skin 9) Eyelid surgery to add a crease specifically to make Asian eyes appear more Europea

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  28.   morninflower says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    DUMB! JUST DUMB! That's all I have to say...

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  29.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Lady K you are absolutely right..my aunt looks 2x darker than i am...no one can tell she's 100% white unless they take the time to look at her features. it all lies in our own minds. Summbrees: you need to be a teacher or a counselor.. loved how you phrased your thoughts

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  30.   bluespec5 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    I really don't see this as racism as some are claiming it to be. I have traveled the world, and I can say without a doubt that God didn't give any one race all the goods; he spread it out among them. Had he given all the good looks to one race, then you'd have one group of arrogant cOck suckers that all the other races would despise. I think we are at a point in human and societal evolution that we often think of ourselves as being able to design our bodies and our looks. It doesn't mean we want to be race X or that we dislike our own race. It simply means that we have formed certain tastes in what we see as attractive. Then if we like several physical characteristics of another race, we get labeled as hating our own race. I am Caucasian. Up until age six, I had half a head of blond hair and half brown hair. Then within a six month period my hair changed to completely dark brown. I wanted my bond hair back and wished that for years, but after I became an adult, I could have bleached my hair, but I finally accepted myself for what I am. I realized that there are attractive people who don't have blond hair, haha. Ok didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that out... And by the way, we've been led to believe that it is only Caucasians who are white. I beg to differ. I live in Japan and have traveled to China and Korea, and I have found many white-skinned Asians. I would dare say that I have found more white skinned and more brown skinned Asians that I ever have "Yellow" skinned Asians. Many women here bleach their skin or at least wear heavy sun screen so that their skin will not tan. It's not because they want to look like white Europeans; they just prefer to have white skin. And just for the record, any women with intelligence and a bright personality I find attractive regardless of her skin color. I think we should love ourselves for who we are, change what we can (and want to change) but don't worry about any changing meaning that we are not race X or race Y. Race is really a very shaky concept anyway.

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  31.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    P.S. You shall never be able to change the errors made in the days of old . Why Dwell on them , Try to look ahead . The Future is indeed Brighter for those that can see advancement in Life .

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  32.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Self Worth is how you carry yourself in life , Being born white , of smaller stature and becoming Disabled at a younger age / I have seen personally how those that were born more fortunate [ with a silver spoon in their mouth ]. Turned into worthless individuals with no drive to do anything productive . Color of skin has totally not any difference [ in the years past - it may have been that way - Times have changed / learn to use these changes ] in the way each person carries themselves in the Respect they show for all others in this Day and Age . Look around you , the ones who complain constantly sitting in groups smoking cigarettes and watching Capt. Kangaroo will go nowhere in life / if they were to use their time to try to improve their lives . Would be as Fortunate in Victory as My Wife and I were , here on this site. Curling 12 ounce bottles will never make you a weight lifter , it causes Drunk people to make unwise choices in their behavior - thus commiting illegal acts and incarceration due to breaking man's laws / Unless time spent in containment at the exercise yards pumping iron is all you look for in life . summerbrees ; Please feel free to look at My pictures / and the irony is you will Still see White in your eyes and you shall never know the Journey in life that I have traveled or the Labors that I have done to get where I am Today . You do not have any idea the times in my life that I went to sleep hungry . However , I was Blessed to find a Wife on this site. Because I did knot sitback and complain . I got off my ass and moved Forward . People regardless of their heritage in life can only Dominate you if You allow them to do so . You shall only Succeed if you yourself make the effort . The saddest part is all people are born Equal , in my Past life being single and Disabled , I was Terriorized by the Criminal Mentality of others / alas I did knot give up and fall Victim to those that did these Cowardly acts against me . I used intelligence , online advice and the Benefits of 800 telephone numbers to bring Our Lives into a Happier World . In this U.S.A. , there are many Representitives in our Gov't / Who are paid well to help Citizens in some of their problems . Only if you personally take the time to seek Help . And the numbers to call are in the front pages of telephone books . We saw many Bigots and through avoiding their Stupid comments and Negative actions , We have found that by looking into the present and Dreaming about the Future we are Happy Together . They on the other hand still Swill in their own Effluence [ excretement ] as they are knot Smart enough to crawl out of it . We shall allow them to smell like they do . We purchased some Blue dye last week to color my old A-shirts which with time faded from White / Life is and shall always be as each chooses to make it for themselves .

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  33.   1nohana says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    (somehow I hit submit too quickly) What I would like to tell these women is that they are BEAUTIFUL no matter what their skintone is. Screw people that find them as being less-than because of how light or dark they are. You want someone that will love you REGARDLESS of being a redbone, "glowing" or getting attention from a bunch of relatively irrelevant people. If you can't validate yourself, don't expect anyone else to validate you.

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  34.   1nohana says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    This is disgusting. summerbrees stated everything that I think. Black is definitive. While the are some privileges for lighter skin versus that of darker skin, they are MINISCULE. Ultimately, we make more of those differences and variations in skintone than WHITE PEOPLE DO. White people still see a light skinned black person as black unless they are clearly biracial. White supremacy is so potent in our society that it has hurt us most of all. We literally try to change our most defining and beautiful characteristic - our skintone. I think about that and I nearly cry. I've never dealt with being "too light" or "too dark". I literally fall inbetween.

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  35.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Summerbrees, Well stated!!

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  36.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Whurr your comment was too funny but oh so true. Glock, you really brought out some valid points and thank you for putting it so eloquently. Does bleaching breed racism? I'm not the expert but I can certainly say that Blacks have never held the power to leverage racism in America. I do think it breeds self-esteem issues though. No one can deny that. The standards of beauty are gradually changing, but there are a lot of conflicts. Since the Stone Age, (white complexions) were deemed "Most Attractive", yet now that we have some of the more famous power-house black women in the Media... Tyra Banks, Beyonce, they appear to de-embrace their total ethnicity. Beyonce and Tyra, both highly beautiful women, yet continue to add bleach and blonde hairpieces to enhance their looks. whats that all about? So when young Black women look to the media for role models and some of the biggest names in the business are shying away from their own ethnic features,...it really makes me question how deep the cycle of "Hollywood Beauty" has become. The parents depicted in this Tyra video probably need a dose of reality and maybe a few counseling sessions. Shotgun007

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  37.   searching4ya says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Another example of someone going to extreme, for what? We, as most of us know, are individual. Our real beauty lies beneath our skin, no matter of color. I feel the insecurities or unhappiness with ones skin tone is more than skin deep. But then again, living in S. FL., where racial (Bi and Inter. included) apprehension is almost non existent and beauty is perceived in every skin color, I may be biased. Also, I must add that I'm really shocked by some of the reverse racist (black attacking white) comments here. Guess this mentality is why some people are bleaching their skin. So sad, shallow minded people leading others to do stupid and harmful things to themselves. ;-(

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  38.   summerbrees says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    Self worth? Value? If you listen to these women they keep talking “attention.” As a feminist this kills me. Attention from men? Is that truly how you define yourself as a woman? White supremacist ideology dominates the world and is completely and utterly destructive. The saddest part is that the black community perpetuates this ideology. I empathize with these women only because white supremacy is often inescapable. I know it’s hard to reject your culture but if the people you surround yourself with terrorize you, it is definitely time to move on. Interestingly enough, you would think that they would bleach in order to be more attractive in the eyes of whites. It’s ironic because in the eyes of whites, no matter shade, you are still BLACK.

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  39.   Glock says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    Personally I think it is breeding racism. One of the few times I agree with the title. There's no telling what kinds of mixed up thoughts the kids will have later in life when they reflect on what their mom has attempted to do. Sure, they will blame their mom to a certain degree, but most will probably be aimed at whites. They will blame whites for fostering an environment/culture in which their mother felt it necessary to "bleach" her kids to look more acceptable. This subject has been discussed several times on this blog. We are told over and over again that the media bombards us with "what is considered beautiful" (white complexion). We see the commercials with beautiful white women with long flowing hair or make up the shows their cheeks or eyes more...blah blah blah. Whatever the commercials show, it's all about marketing. They play these commercials because they paid the broadcasting companies money to play them to the audience they are trying to market. White women. Pick up a copy of Essence, Ebony, Jet and you don't see white women advertised like you do on Redbook, Womens Journal (or whatever magazines white women read). It's a different market. I can only speak for myself, but seeing white women portrayed on TV or anywhere else does not define for me who I should find superior or more attractive. Hands down, black women steal the show in my book. I'm not saying there aren't white women who I find very attractive, but for me, not on the same level as black women. There, there is one white man's opinion about this topic. I know quite a few white men who share this opinion. Takinitall, my heart goes out to you for what you went through. I can't imagine what it was like for you.

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  40.   Nalah says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    You know what, I couldn't even watch the whole segment. It makes me feel physically sick to the stomach, to think that the words of the evil slave driver William Lynch, all the way from the late 1700's, still ring oh so very loud and true today. It's so disgusting and ignorant that we ALL as AMERICANS are not exposed to the true attrocities in our histories that have shaped our pasts, our present, and quite possibly our futures. With the government controlling what is taught and what is censored in our schools, its sad knowing that probably 90% of people wouldn't know who William Lynch was if he were to be mentioned in a conversation. It saddens me to see these gorgeous women up on stage, demeaning themselves, their children, and our race so savagly. It hurts to think that these beautiful women don't see how, black is so beautiful. Look back in America's history, even today! People of other races expose themselves to dangerous sun rays, chemials and cremes, TO GET DARK. People spend thousands, even millions of dollars to get butt implants, lip implants, breast implants, higher fuller cheekbones, wider hips...to mimick black women! Slave masters took black women to be their concubines, had families with them, envied black men for their strong dark bodies, labeled them as beasts because of the size of their penises. These women have it all backwards. With the way information is displayed to us as children, I can understand why they think this way, but as adults they need to educate themselves and their children and families. These women need to have pride in who they are, where they come from, the color of their skin, all of the above! I, as a black woman, am oh so proud to be black. I have the blood of black races from different countries and I would not change it for the world. I wish these women could see what I see when I look at them. They are beautiful.

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  41.   FLclassic says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    I'm not really shocked by this considering our society consistantly tells people of color that we aren't beautiful enough to the point that Vogue's All-Black magazine released last summer was groundbreaking. Even a past study showed that black children preferred a white doll over a black one. Even our own people demean each other even if its only jokingly. We've all heard the nicknames blackie, dark as a tire, and even purple. And don't get me started on the old addage that you should marry someone lighter. The thing that's truly sad about these ladies is that they're beautiful. And they don't realize it. When I was younger I would have killed for their dark smooth skin, since it seemed like the darker the skin the less prone it was to breakouts. And I suffered for years with it. I admit I feel my skin looks better when I've had some sun. In fact, I remember when my mother who was a beautiful pecan brown used to tell me I needed to get more sun because I'd become too light, when I used to live in Atlanta. And that "undercover" survey was bogus. She could have walked into any Walgreens anywhere in the U.S. and she would have not only found them in the "black" section. Beauty Tip: Ambi and other skin lightners help to even skin tones. BUT pure shea butter is better...trust me. Plus, it has a natural sunscreen so it helps to slow down the aging process. I wished I would have discovered it in my teens:(

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  42.   haneefa says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    this is stupid, i am a beautiful black darkskinned woman and i really do love my color, i think i am liked for my looks, personality, and im an outgoin person. i feel like people should love me for who i am not the color of my skin and if they choice otherwise then they can move on with their lives and will move on with mines. i love white men and there are some white men that do not like darkskinned women and i think its not right because when it comes down to love it shouldnt matter what color you are. for someone to do this to their children its just ashame, they are little kids they can get sick and ill because of the bleaching. i have been with white men and they love to tan because they want darker skin but i told them u should be proud of your color not what other people think.

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  43.   Treacle09 says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    “The worlds’ most unforgettable beauties are often women who fall outside of the narrow definition of trying to conform to a “type”. These women make a journey into discovering who they are and embrace the very traits that set them apart. Their beauty is a glorious reflection of being comfortable in their own skin... beauty is realising you are the beholder ”.by Iman, which I think is very true. Skin bleaching creams are illegal in Britain and Europe for possible severe side effects, so I find it very shocking that woman would want to inflict that onto her children knowing the possible risks. Really those who hate their skin colours are their own worst enemy, as really its up to them to over come their ways of thinking. I’ve always personally preferred having an ’non standard beauty look’. My mother has Yellow Golden brown skin, my father has the deepest rich brown skin, and I’m a combination of both. So as a rich, warm, reddish brown , with yellow, golden undertones woman (the extended description lol), I feel lucky and blessed to have a slight uniqueness which I was born with and sets me apart. There is also a common belief that being a hard worker, a high achiever with the right attitude means more opportunities, better jobs, more respect, acknowledgment and better treatment from society.

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  44.   takinitall says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 09

    Ok this is hitting home and making me super emotional. I apologize if I am venting but I have to get this off my chest. 1. The mother on this show needs to be beat. She is causing so much emotional abuse to her boys it’s ridiculous. Her boys are handsome and she needs to build their self esteem up. I really feel bad for the darker baby, as I’m sure she is causing him the most harm. I have seen parents just like her who treat their kids differently based on their complexion. 2. As a fair skinned black woman, I too have hated myself. I am constantly referred to as “a big yellow in stilettos” or “a nice thick redbone” when I am so much more. 3. I have had envy from darker black women so bad to where it has caused physical altercations. The worst was my first semester in high school, when I was jumped and stabbed by a group of darker skinned girls; whose argument was “I think I’m all that and I’m trying to take all the guys.” Even as an adult I have had women threaten me who I don’t even know. 4. Dating interracially has not been much different with either. Many of the white men I meet say things like they prefer darker black women as they look more “exotic”. 5. Hair also plays a role in this. Depending on which weave I have in people respond differently and will ask “where are you from?” or “what are you mixed with”. 6. I have 2 kids, my son is fair skin and people always say he looks just like me and is very handsome. However, my daughter is dark skin and people ask me is she adopted. Although it angers me, I say “no she’s mine” with pride. 7. Many people think because you are fair skin you don’t have self esteem issues and are at an advantage in society. This is not always true, we are still black and work just as hard and even harder “to prove our blackness.” I personally consider myself average as far as looks, but others may see me different. 8. I personally went to counseling for years to deal with this and raise my self esteem and self worth. I encourage anyone light or dark to do the same if you have issues. I now understand that I can’t change other people’s perception of me, but I can be ok with myself. I also work with my children for them to understand no matter what complexion, they are beautiful. 9. The beauty of being black is we come in all sorts of shades and colors. Some of us can even pass for white. No matter what the complexion our struggles are still the same. 10. Parent’s we are responsible for our babies. Teach them to love themselves and others no matter what and look beyond the skin tone. If you are not secure with who you are, how can you teach them to be.

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  45.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 09

    Self hatred is such a serious issue, that no one has to give you bleaching cream, because if you've convinced yourself that blackness is ugly, you'll buy the cream and do the job yourself. My mother once told me, "no one can make you feel inferior without your permission!" That's why people must have a "KNOWLEDGE of THEMSELVES" so they'll have a healthy love of themselves. Without this knowledge it's easy to fall victim to this media madness and the cosmetics industry's standard of beauty. They say seeing is believing, well if all you see everyday, day in and day out is someone elses standard of beauty then it will have an effect on your self esteem over a period of time if you don't have the means to resist this poison by having a love and appreciation for yourself and the color of your skin. Having two mixed children (Blk & German) and living in Germany, I go that extra mile to make sure my children see examples of beauty in BLK people, paticulary BLACK WOMEN! So I have Ebony, Essence and Black Woman's magazines all over the house. I make sure that my children see BLK people at their best as much as posible, so I keep movies of positive content in the house. I try my best to counter attack some of this garbage that's out there but most important I make sure that I validate them and let them know that no matter who doesn't think they're beautiful, as there father I do and to hell with what others may think! I think until we as people stop giving our power to forces outside of ourselves we'll always have these kinds of issues. So BLACK POWER is a must: the power to define my own standard of beauty, the power to affrim and validate myself, the power to make my environment a reflection of my culture, and the power to LOVE me as GOD created me! That's power and it can only come from within and no one can give you that power. I know some will think, that's racist, oh well, if to love me and to appreciate myself outside the standards of another people makes me racist, then I am whatever you say I am! I'll close on this note, "it's bad when others atttemp to curse you with their opinions of you but when you take their opinion and then curse yourself, that's insanity! Love you, see and admire you as only you can because anything else, just wont do! Peace!

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  46.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 09

    I actually downloaded the video and am going to use it as a form of discipline for my kids. I won't bleach them...just show them how bad life can be if they don't act right! You all talking bleaching creme and I have been reading reviews from Consumer Reports on darkening creme. Jergens was rated number one, so I'm heading out and buying me a tan. A milky white , ice cream loving white man needs a tan badly..... and a gym! I watched the whole video..... 'dem sum crayze fukkers'... and u can quote me on that! DANG! Its almost as if they are talking like they were busted on a secret hidden camera. I'm watching it and thinking, they can't be so stupid that they come on Tyra for the free airfare and hotel to talk about bleaching your kids. WOW!

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  47.   Lady_K_82 says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    I also think every race has its issues. Look at white people and tanning. Some people will do anything to be darker.

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  48.   Lady_K_82 says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    Just watched the video clip and I don't know whether to be shocked or offended. Tyra must be right. There's definitely more going on with those ladies than the skin colour issue. They're all stunning and should accept the way God made them. We weren't all meant to look the same.

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  49.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    It's all in ones own mind / Love is a feeling not a color .

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  50.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    the problem lies within african-americans who poke fun at each other for their God given skin tones. they look at some quite black africans like akon & say things like "damn tht f*cker darker than purple* or they see ppl like my siblings and say they r too light or that ni99a charlize theron thank she black cuz her white ass is african like WTF.this is a problem created by some ignorant african-american and it can only be solved by them since they seem to be the ones with the issues in the case. racism runs american=very true but i dont see any white man handing them bleachin creams and forcing them to bleach.

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