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Is the trial-and-error approach to relationships better than self-help books?

Posted by James, 31 Dec

There are thousands of love and relationships self-help books that are published every year for women seeking relationship advice. Each one of them promising tips on how to make a man eat out of your palm… each one promising to have tried and tested success tips… each one promising to be better than the one you just finished reading.

Given the huge number of relationship instructional manuals for women (teaching them about men) compared to those for men (teaching them about women)... does it mean that men have already figured out what women want and how to ~~get away with not giving~~ give them what they want? Or is it that men just prefer the trial and error approach?

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Well, don’t be surprised when you find yourself throwing away your cook books in order to create more room in your book shelf for these relationship manuals because according to the relationship gurus, the way to a man’s heart has got nothing to do with his stomach. Mum’s simple relationship rule has been quashed with thousands of other rules that need mastering, if you want a gate pass to happily-ever-after.

There is a reason why every relationship you enter into doesn’t come with a user’s guide. It’s simply because we don’t need them. We all know that both men and women come from Earth; not Mars and Venus. At the same time, not all men are the same. So seriously, is coming up with one instructional manual for all men realistic?

Every relationship is unique. Every relationship has its own unique circumstances. The personalities involved in every relationship are unique. Instead of letting third parties dictate the course of your relationship, I think it’s only fair to just let it run its natural and unique course. I am not entirely against these relationship books. All I am trying to say is: not every thing will work for your kind of relationship.

Plus how can you master these entire rules from different self-acclaimed relationship gurus and still have the time to pay attention to your spouse and nurturing your relationship? The fun in any relationship is in figuring out what makes your partner tick and understanding him or her.

So don’t let someone else rob this fun by telling you how to manipulate your spouse because if it aint real, you will tire of trying to be what you are not. Instead, explore your partner’s personality – what angers him, what puts him off? Figure each other out and build something that’s based on who you truly are. And when things go rocky, you will figure out a way of moving past them.

Do you think the trial and error approach is better than the self-help books? And why do you think more of these books are published for women than men?

2 responses to "Is the trial-and-error approach to relationships better than self-help books?"

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kissime says:

Posted: 02 Jan 11

2sexyb, I agree 100%. Nothing else needs to be written –in my opinion.

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2sexyb says:

Posted: 01 Jan 11

Women have been trained to think that they are responsible for the men's happiness. Women are more likely to buy and/or read a book about relationships. Men don't read instructions manuals or maps for anything in general. Trial and error with accurate and timely credible information can aid common sense and intuition.

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