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Black men white women vs Black women white men: Which interracial combo lasts longer?

Posted by Ria, 27 Feb

When I told a friend that Donner Summer has been married to her white husband Bruce Sudano since 1980, his comment was: "She is a Black woman. If it were the other way round (Black man with white woman having been together for that long), then I’d give them props." My pal even went ahead and gave me the examples of actor Cuba Gooding Jr and Dr. Dre (black celebrities who have been with white women for more than 15 years) saying "Now those are black-white relationships that deserve glorification".

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According to him, when a Black woman and a white man tough it out for years on end, its nothing to write home about – its expected. But when it’s the other way round…

The mentality is that Black women white women relationships last longer than Black men white women relationships. Do you agree with him? If yes, please let us know why you think that is.

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52 responses to "Black men white women vs Black women white men: Which interracial combo lasts longer?"

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  1.   NaijaBabe11 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 12

    I really don't care who lasts longer. That is not going to change the fact that I will continue to date white men, simply out of PREFERENCE.

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  2.   Ponyboy56 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 12

    Well now, there is a question for the ages lol. I am a 56 year Young, white man who has been dating women of color for 40 years. Tho I am currently single, I have found ( thru experience, and not some statistics ) that bw/wm relationships last longer. Now as to why that is, I wouldn't even try to hazard a guess. My black male friends , ( of which I have many ) seem to relish the chase and the conquest rather than the deeper emotions of a relationship. I am often teased about turning in my " Playa Card ". When asked why they prefer white women, they almost all have the same response, and that is " A sistah would never put up with my B/S." That is a direct quote by the way. So, we can sit here and debate this issue till ol Cooter Brown sobers up, or just continue to marvel in the beauty of our diverse couplings and enjoy one another no matter what our gender or ethnic origins. I prefer women of color for many reasons and will continue to date according to my own tastes. Yes, I also date white women but only on a friendly basis. I am one of those wm/ww divorce stories lol. What the hell was I thinking?!! The women of color that I have had relationships with have all respected and cherished me in ways I had never known, and I appreciate that most of all. So, I still love my nubian beauties and will always choose them over any others.

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  3.   BrownMagic says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 12

    Ria, I really can't disclose what I think about your your 'black' male's ignorant, misinformed, uneducated, talking out the side of his mouth statement, because it would get deleted. He really needs to be schooled. How dare he make a comparsion like that! To be honest with y'all that is saying A LOT for the Black Woman/White Man(SOLID) relationship (EVERYTHING TO TALK ABOUT/BROADCAST!) VS the White Woman/Black Man (CRUMBLY) relationship (Absolutely NOTHING to talk about.....LOL). Hmmmm I wonder why we reign supreme over you? You have it BACKWARDS black man!

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  4.   Besha says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 12

    I think is probably just a numbers game. There are significantly more black man/white woman couples than the reverse... And the numbers are lopsided, i'm sure, because of the differing motivations for dating outside of your race.

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    • vbabygirl85 says:
      Posted: 29 Jul 12

      Sorry but its not a numbers game. The fact is black men/white women marriages have some of the highest divorce rates PERIOD of ALMOST ALL couplings (same race AND interracial). There are FAR more black man/black women marriages and white men/white women marriages but black men/white women marriages STILL end in divorce at a MUCH HIGHER rates. Black men/white women marriages account for less than 1% of all marriages in the US but end in divorce TWICE as much as white women/white men marriages which are the most common marriages in the US. Over 80% of black men are married to black women but the 10-15% that don't are actually divorcing at much higher rates than black men who choose black women. If it was a numbers game then same race marriages and more common interracial marriages like white men/ Latina or white women/latino marriages would have higher divorce rates than black men/white women. BUT THEY DO NOT. Black men/ White Women marriages STILL have the highest rates of failure even when compared to more common/prevelant marriage couplings. Its a hard pill to swallow but its the truth. Were looking at possibly an 80% failure rate for most black men/white women couplings.

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  5.   Breon71 says:
    Posted: 12 May 12

    I agree on the individual part. Dr. Dre is the greatest producer that ever was. each individual dysfunction it what is what caused their relationships not to work or to work.

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  6.   Eleesa says:
    Posted: 09 May 12

    There shouldn't be any comparision or a competition. It is all about love. If u love someone you'll stick it out through the thick and thin. Color shouldn't even be the issue. IMJS

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  7.   Naya78 says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 12

    Everyone seems to be focusing solely on the race factor. But did anyone stop to think about the education factor. Meaning are these interracial marriages equal in their education. To me if two people, no matter the skin color have the same type of education they tend to stay married longer. So it is my opinion that BW/WM relationships last longer because most likely they both obtained degrees of higher learning. I know this is true for me, anyway. All my failed relationships were with men who lacked the same higher level of education as myself, not because of skin color and I have dated just about every ethnicity. Besides we are all the same race, the Human Race ;-).

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  8.   shydude74 says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 12

    interesting question,i accept both forms regardless theres still more black male/white female than whitemale/blackfemale couples.

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  9.   Broncos006 says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 12

    I think that if u love each other no matter the color stay with it and not worry what others think love is colorless.

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  10.   Maheva says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 12

    I am a bit shocked , reading people talking about white did that or black did this! It is only fair that everyone should stick to what he likes! If you feel more comfortable with a person from a different race then you stay with that person , it does not mean you are low or you have a complex of race. Me , for example I dated both black and white guys , black more than the rest and I found out that it can't work with them cause we see things differently! Should I be unhappy and stay with a black guy because I not want people to point fingers at me and tell me how I betrayed my own race or just be with the person I feel more comfortable with? I will answer you myself , I will do what make me happy and that is what Donna , Cuba , dr dre have done ! There is no shame in it! That time has pssses , things have changed . So move with the flow and stop looking for excuses ! If things go wrong in a relationship it is not because of their races but because of their personalities! Ego has no color. Cheers

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  11.   2bigworld says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 12

    How long you last depends on what your foundation is built on. I have no idea why some people decide to stay together and others to divorce, but I did an informal survey of couples who had been married 20+ years and shared values, a sense of spirituality, shared goals and a deep, committed friendship were the answers I got most often. In my own experience, the lack of one of more of those traits was the ultimate reason for the ending of a relationship. I believe those traits are race neutral!

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  12.   kutu7 says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 12

    Rosso87, it takes a brave man to stand up & let the world know i have a cravin for a different flavor & guest what!!! I love it and i'm not going to give it up for anyone. majority of the time; these type men can handle their own and take care of the own and they never ask for anyone's approval. because it doesn't matter to them. thats why the world is such a big place, so people who can't accept the fact that, when god create this world he did not ask for anybody premission or approval, lives in a grouped area together, i think that is a good thing because the rest of us really don't have to deal with close mind individuals. love is colorless as it is, because its an emotion

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  13.   kutu7 says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 12

    as a afro american woman, i would like to say it's not about black, white or what they are; bw in general we have been loyal to the black race, for a long time even when our men was being taken from us. so that being said, lets go to the creator; when god made man; he made a lot of colors attached to that title man. bw understand whatever man, no matter what color, when that man treats you the way you wants to be treated, and is a gooood man to you, emotionally, physically, honestly, and supports you in becoming the best woman you can become, give that man the love he deserves no holds bared

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  14.   jdooley84 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 12

    And nevertheless i think this decade wm bw parings will grow fast the next 10 yrs or so

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  15.   jdooley84 says:
    Posted: 08 Mar 12

    thinker i bluntly think that the looks come because the way black males treat each other on expirence in the media in the public not me but way too many black men call each other n##### and all that stuff and really i would be lying to say that i wouldnt have a issue if i had a friend date somebody who would act that way around who them i really disagree with you as far as saying some want the jim crow back i think the kkk or skinheads maybe or these far right groups but on expirence i just dont see foriegn born blacks or hispanics or asians call themselves slurs i would go as far as saying the way the black media and film directors portray af american men in movies and blaxpotation in the day really causes sterreotypes i live in a neighborhood that is asian and white and i have no problems what so ever bringing female friend over where there black white blue green asian hispanic you get it.

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  16.   MikeLib says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 12

    I don`t think its a matter of race as it is tolerance for one another for a man and woman. Divorce today is such a sad farce, thank you lawyers!! Who happen to be 90% of the politicians out there, hows that working out? I don`t think its racial as much as inconvenience and $$ for these vultures we call lawyers!!

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  17.   Thinker54 says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 12

    As a Black man who was in a relationship with a Black woman, and subsequently divorced from the same person years ago, I can say with certainty that a Black Man with a Anglo woman (or for that matter, ANY other race but Black) gets cross-eyed looks from people for various reasons....but, unfortunately, we STILL have to deal with the racism that exists in the US today; and it takes a VERY STRONG RELATIONSHIP to withstand the looks and the ignorance that is thrown their way.....strangely enough, a Black woman with a Anglo man is more acceptable to the american psyche than the former couple would be.....personally, I don't know why, but it has been that way for a LONG time.....perhaps it is from the TV; perhaps it is the mentality of those who would rather see the old "jim Crow era" back.....I can't really say. But, what I CAN say is that these days, you've got to believe in each other, no matter WHO you are, and have a strong, loving, and EQUAL relationship with each other! Otherwise, you fail............

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 07 Mar 12

      I don't agree that is more accepted. Black women get the looks as well.

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  18.   jdooley84 says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 12

    Ive always belived that black women may get married later in life very similar to most non white groups but theyre more likely to stay married than even wm ww parings or most other same race or interracial parings on the west coast based on expirence i see many ir couples of all backgrownds and genders in their 60 and even 70s interracial marriage was legal in califorina since 1939 and black and white couples can be seen as far as the 60s espically in the urban centers but most definitely the san francsico bay area when in the rest of the country it wasnt a thought at uc berkley in 2000 12 yrs ago the campus had 20% of multiracial students its very true regardless of race the younger you get married the more likely you are of divorce espically under 25

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  19.   Rosso87 says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 12

    Where I live,it's very rare to see a BW with a WM.

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  20.   Scandiblond says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 12

    I once meet a couple from Indiana. BM and WM and they had been married for more than 40 years!! I can not say where the BM and WM stands so i can not have an opinion. I think those researches are based on public couples.

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  21.   Evie27 says:
    Posted: 03 Mar 12

    @ Batman4 and @ SlamDunkDr; you defiantly have a point. Dividing these relationships into will work won’t work helps nobody. You either make a decision to make it work, race, religion and other things are issues you have to work out, but until you say by hook or by crook I love you and want to be with you. A relationship will thrive regardless of race, it isn’t about BW, WW, BM or WM it’s about the individual and their dynamic together. Just my 20 cents worth!!!

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    • SlamDunkDr says:
      Posted: 04 Mar 12

      I like the way you think, and your mysterious photo... Maybe we should do more thinking like this together?

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  22.   SlamDunkDr says:
    Posted: 03 Mar 12

    @ batman4, I can testify to your claim. I must admit, black women do have the most atitude and short tempers. Believe me. All the women in my family are black, and they don't play! I NEVER eat at restaurants with them b/c they're so rude to the ppl serving them. They're SUPER sensitive, and it seems like they're constantly searching for reasons to fight with others. I enjoyed this behavior as a young teenager, but i'm in my 20s now and no longer value it at all. I think BW believe this is a demonstration of strength, and in some ways it is, but it's misplaced. I still love ALL women. The duration of a couple depends on the couple and has nothing to do with WM+BW or WW+BM. By attempting to answer the titled question, you must focus on color differences... The SAME diferences we should be ignoring in an ir dating website, irony? : (

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 03 Mar 12

      Black women have lower divorce rates with white men than there counterparts. In fact black men with black women have lower divorce rates than black men and white women. But black women with white men have the lowest divorce rates across the board. Black women with latino men are also very successful. Having the 3rd most successful rates as far as ir relationships goes. But black women and black men have the lowest succes of same races. To blame bw is all wrong because we do better with other races. The opposite is true with black men they have higher divorce rates with non black women.

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      • Hazelnut09 says:
        Posted: 04 Mar 12

        Yes! Preach!

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      • SlamDunkDr says:
        Posted: 18 Mar 12

        I didnt make my comment for us to engage in statistics, which can be skewed btw. If you care to know some real stats, use the url below (no need to read the entire study, you can listen to the whole thing) http://www.npr.org/2012/02/28/147580900/interracial-marriage-and-the-extended-family Look at the random #s you spit out, and keep in mind that BW marry interacially 3 times LESS than BM. I dont care or believe in marriage myself, but ppl do so eh... Again, what matters IMO is the couple and their "happiness", not the color codes you refer to. Next we would need stats for whose happier, BUT AGAIN! focusing on relations in this way takes from what you can have in front of you. Dont lose perspective..

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        • reese says:
          Posted: 20 Mar 12

          I didn't put out any statistics. The stats that they are using are from the Census which I quote. Bw/wm have the lowest divorce rate in the nation. I didn't quote the stats because I am not trying to blame bm. I am stating simple facts that we have lower divorce rates with white men than you do with white women. And no stats that are in that study disputes that. I only brought it up because some of the brothers and even a white guy were saying how they knew the divorce rates were higher because of bw's attitude. But it isn't true.

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        • vbabygirl85 says:
          Posted: 29 Jul 12

          The fact that black women date interacially LESS than black men is irrelevant. The STATS show that black men/white women marriages have some of the HIGHEST divorce rates PERIOD of any coupling (same race or interracial). There are FAR more black men married to black women but the divorce rate is still significantly lower for them then it is for black men and white women. There are FAR more white men and white women marriages but STILL the divorece rate for black men/white women is TWICE as high. So whatever point you're trying to prove by saying that there are more bm/ww marriages than wm/bw marriages become irrelevant, because black men/white women unions STILL FAIL more often even when you compare them to more common unions like black men/black women and white men/white women.

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    • Sharri says:
      Posted: 07 Mar 12

      Again the stereotype. You must be attracted to the wrong type of woman. Being strong is not the same as having an attitude. When we do have that attitude maybe it is from what the previous black man has done to us.Like Reese said, if we are successful with other races, doesnt appear the issue is us. Leave the macho Im the man , i gotta worry about what my boys think attitude behind and devote yourself to someone who is devoted to you, And I dont mean someone you can walk over, but someone who has your back because they love you.

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  23.   angela8209 says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 12

    Black women want the emotional connection, true feelings & white men who want the same so they work towards that unity but black men/white women want more tangible things from that union (to benefit their own selfish goals) so it doesn't work out. In the future they both lose b/c of broken or lack of honesty, trust, personal &/or public interference from the beginning, during & at the end of their relationship.

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  24.   Aries says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 12

    Dr dre married white ? NWA!!! I cant be the only one shocked

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  25.   Batman4 says:
    Posted: 02 Mar 12

    I strongly disagree.I think black men are more tolerant and better suited for compatability than black women. I have dated balck women all my life and I have never had any success.I have had no luck finding a woman on interracial sites because they simply do not act interested and when I bring this topic up they become indignant and insulting.No if I were placing a bet I would give it to the black man white woman relationship.I have heard repeatedly from my black male friends that black women are too hard to get along with and I agree.The interracial relationships that I have seen support my belief that BM and WW stay together longer.My opinion is ,of course, my own from my experiences which are considerable.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 03 Mar 12

      you would be wrong the statistics show that black women with white men are not only least likely to get a divorce. But they have greater success than black men/black women and white men/white women having the lowest % of all couples in divorce rate.

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      • reese says:
        Posted: 03 Mar 12

        According to the US census. So it might be the women you are choosing. Because black men and white women have one of the highest divorce rates.

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        • cyrilg says:
          Posted: 05 Mar 12

          Reese- I agree with your reliance on statistics and on getting the facts/truth. According to the stats that I've seen, bwwm marriages aren't just a little more long-lasting than wwwm unions: they are 44% more (long-lasting). That ain't hay, and a gap that big has to indicate/mean something. Re bmww realtionships, and why they have a greater divorce rate than bwwm, does it make sense to look for general/historical/psychological reasons; i.e. American history? Or, is the general approach a waste of time because it is fallacious? I'd welcome any thoughts you have on the subject! David

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    • ga0214 says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 12

      It's impossible to classify which relationship combo lasts longer and a waste of time considering the only relationship that really matters is your own. I don't understand some of the comments here as it's an interracial dating site. We're all at least open to dating outside of our own race even if we're not actively pursuing such a union. Consequently, if one group is of this mind because of self hate then you would have to say that we all are. Batman, have you considered that black women are not "interested" as you put it because of your attitude towards us? I'm not difficult to get along with, because there are rarely many black men around me I have only dated one black man in my life and have lived all over the world so am extremely tolerant to others whether it be their culture, their religion or just their quirks. I would not be interested in having a conversation with you about my lack of tolerance or how difficult I am to get along with. Moreover, I would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with a man who felt that my skin color was some kind of indication of my character. That is the definition of racism is it not? As for your black male friends telling you that we're too difficult to get along with, my friends of all colors tell me how black men are no good, always cheat, and never take care of their responsibilities but does that make it true? Maybe your lack of luck with black women has more to do with what you are projecting and less to do with the women you're dating.

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      • vbabygirl85 says:
        Posted: 29 Jul 12

        It is possible to quantify the the success rate of certain marriages. Its called STATISTICS which show that an EXTREMELY HIGH rate of divorce for bm/ww marriages compared to a MUCH LOWER divorce rate for wm/bw marriages.

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    • nacunma says:
      Posted: 03 Apr 12

      I strongly disagree with you Batman. Although I have to say I understand how you feel. I only date black men for quite some time and it can seem that they have personality characteristics that are generally the same. I am in kind of the oposite position of you. It does seem that in my long time experience that many black men are not monogamous. I have been treated very well by black men, but in my experience they have a large appetite for many rather than one. However, I know many couples that are of many differing combinations of race and have the same problems or stay together...I really have to say it is more about the individuals. Even though I do feel you on what things might seem to be like.

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    • shotgun007 says:
      Posted: 07 Jul 12

      Batman4, I think it might be time for you to try something new, at this point. If it is to your testament that "all your" life you've dated black women with no success.....I would simply STOP. Try white women, maybe you'll have more luck there, seems that most other men do. I think for the longest time, black male/white female relationships have been "pushed" by TV, Hollywood and every other media outlet so much; that these 2 species have began to feel that everyone wants to see them fail because they are so "sought after." My experience as a black female is that some of these black guys are just overly aggressive, rude, and come on to anything with a skirt, which is just a total turn off. I chose to not deal with them and try a different "type" of man. But when looking at the statistics about BM/WW divorce rates and relationships not lasting seems very evident. It is NOT a coincidence that on a lot of these blogs white women talk about sex with black men and how black guys are so thrilled to be accepted by whites. If this is the sole spark between these types of a couple, why wouldn't this union materialize into a match made from hell and doomed for divorce? One could say that I am biased, but I know 3 white girls that have half black offspring dealing with a black daddy that has abused them. These women can NEVER ever date a white man again, because they are considered soiled or "blacked" as some call it. Not a position that I would aspire to be in, if I was a white woman. But to each his/her own.

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    • vbabygirl85 says:
      Posted: 30 Jul 12

      @Batman. Too bad marriage statistics show the opposite. Black men/White women marriages have the HIGHEST divorce rates (2.5 times higher than black women/ white men marriages, twice as high as white men/white women marriage, and about 50% higher than black men/black women marriages). We're looking at a possible failure rate of 80% within the first 10 years of marriage! Black women/ white men marriages have one of the LOWEST divorce rates (even lower than white men/white women marriages). Truth is that many black women are not interested in interracial relationships that's why they are one of the least likely to engage in them. However, the when they are interested they tend to look for qualities in men/relationships that will last the test of time. They may seem more picky but they are actually more serious about finding a compatabile partner who they can SETTLE DOWN with not just to have meaningless sex and play games with (if that's the case most of these black women would just continue to date exclusively black men if they just wanted sex and a no strings attached relationship. Why waste my time crossing the color line when I can get sex with men of my ethnic group?). These women want more than sex and a jungle fever fling they want the REAL DEAL marriage and all so they are willing to risk scrutiny and cultural differences to see if Mr. Right may be a white guy. As far as black men go they are the last ones who should be talking about being too difficult to get along with or settle down with. They are the least likely to get married before age 34 than ANYONE (black women included). Even when they date other ethnicities they still practice the same things they do with black women (wait FOREVER to committ/ high rates of not being there for the kids). This is why so many black women under 34 are single, because they are waiting on the unmarried young black men (which totals OVER 50% of the black male population, higher than any other group) to make that commitment. It gets frustrating, especially when black women are often blamed for this phenomenom. Why do we black women get the bad rap when the unmarried rate for black men is actually higher than ours and stats show that black men on average engage in the EXACT SAME behaviors when they are dating non black women as when they date sistahs? Truth is, black men maybe dating and marrying other races more, but they still participate in the same behaviors with these women which is why they have such high rates of divorce across the board. In fact it seems to get worse when they date interracially because the divorce rates are SO MUCH higher when they DON'T marry black women. As difficult as these men say we are, most black men continue to marry us and the ones that don't end up divorcing their supposedly 'more comnpatible' nonblack partners in RECORD HIGH NUMBERS.

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  26.   synphany says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 12

    I believe that black women/white men relationships last longer. I feel these to ethnicities get together because it is real love. I feel most black men get with white women because of insecurities (self hate) can I say Willie Lynch Syndrome. (Google it). and also they believe it is a social step up. they believe white/light is better.

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    • acuteblkguy says:
      Posted: 02 Mar 12

      yeah thats mis information that some black women have been fed, its not the truth. most black men dont get with white women because of insecurities, how does me being with a woman whos white declare anything about how i feel about myself. you're digging, but far too deep!! now if you want to be more accurate in your statement, you could say that most black men get with white women because of a physical attraction. my question to you is , if someone dates outside of their religion, does that mean they have self hate towards their own religion, sounds unlikely huh!! yeah thats what i was thinking when i heard your statement.

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    • angela8209 says:
      Posted: 02 Mar 12

      I believe ur comment is so.very true just look at the divorce rates not so much based on quantity but what the white women gain in the process. I believe their intentions from the very start was planned & the black man thinks he's getting unconditional, ride or die, stand by him love. It's totally sad, heart-braking & betrayal to himself & to all other ethnic women (not just black).

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      • Sharri says:
        Posted: 07 Mar 12

        I believe that black women make a conscious effort when they date outside of race and it is not so they can get over. I do believe many black men do date white women for the wrong reason. I have seen so many of my white female friends deal with bull from black men. I have to wonder if the stereotype is true about why black men date white women. I believe some black men are not into monogamy and dont know how to be faithful or respect their women. The good ones have been taken quickly and are still married. I have dated both and feel i am more of an equal with a white man than a black man. I find they feel less threatened because Im educated and independent. I dont believe that white women go into relationships with underlying intentions. We could say the same for many black women, look at all the shows, basketball wives and love and hip hop,

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  27.   theram says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 12

    This is a clear example of a loaded question and a false dichotomy. Why the comparison? Where is the evidence for supporting your claim? In my opinion, contrasting successful relationships of black men in juxaposition with those of black womens is pointless without statistics.

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  28.   Reese says:
    Posted: 01 Mar 12

    why is it vs.? Seems to be pitting these ir couples against each other.

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  29.   MissJ555 says:
    Posted: 29 Feb 12

    More than that, I was thinking, "Who is Donner Summer?" until I looked at the pic and saw Donna Summer. LOL I don't know what the friend's point was though. Was he insinuating that black men cheat more or can't commit to white women? If so, just seems like stereotyping to me.

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  30.   alumaw says:
    Posted: 28 Feb 12

    I believe you have a major type error in the last paragraph... "The mentality is that Black women white women (MEN) relationships last longer than Black men white women relationships."

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