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Do opposites really attract?

Posted by Ria, 07 Jul

Study finds they don’t … at least not in the long run.

According to this new study, when it comes to personality, much as people claim to want someone who is different, they look for partners with same qualities as their own. After 760 members of an online dating site answered questionnaires regarding their personal traits and those of ideal long term partners, the answers showed a preference for someone with similar personality.

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A previous study done by the University of Iowa also supports the above stating that a similarity in personality is more important in building a happy marriage than similarities in religion, values and attitude.

The new study however found that despite the personality correlations, 85.7% of the participants claimed to want someone with opposite personality traits. This may have been influenced by the common theory that opposites attract and that a similar partner would be boring. Pieternel Dijkstra, lead researcher of the study and a professor at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands says: "When asked about their preferences for a mate, people may partially draw upon lay theories of romantic attraction rather than their true desires for a mate."

People do feel attracted to dissimilar partners. The sparks that fly usually feel inextinguishable. Unfortunately these sparks between opposites often do not blossom into serious relationships. And when they do, such relationships often end prematurely.

Do you believe relationships between people with dissimilar personality traits can work in the long run or that similar partners have a much bigger chance of making it? Do you think people subconsciously search for common ground or opposites? In your relationships, how has this worked (or not worked) for you?

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23 responses to "Do opposites really attract?"

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  1.   Traeton says:
    Posted: 21 Jun 10

    I think both can work, but in the long term opposites workout better because they push you to grow. If you're both accountants, who is going to throw the party? If you're both party people, who's going to manage the money? You may get along but I'd be bored with someone exactly like myself.

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  2.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 10

    Alot of the time it does,however I think it depends on what both people are like.

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  3.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Such an evil Paula Abdul song!

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  4.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 09

    opposite attract just like people with similar characteristics. the only problem is if you are too opposite you can never agree on anything and its hard to share thoughts with someone who sees thing very opposite from ur very. equally>when you are too similar, there is nothing new to bring to the table. it sometimes feels like u are dating urself which results in boredom, feeling suffocated by all the similarities and at the end of the day>it all boils down to half N' half. (u need to have somethings in common but at the same time differ in certain ways. to sum it up => TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS BAD

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  5.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 15 Sep 09

    omg / I made a mistake in interpretation , I apoligize , opposites in thought . Attracted to another of opposite sex and Heritage from far away . With a Brand New Battery Charger / and my Timex just keeps on Ticking . I can be full of Worthless Wisdom at times . Along with many others Hehe .

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  6.   salsera77 says:
    Posted: 15 Sep 09

    Yes, I believe opposites do attract but not for long. The battery burns out.

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  7.   Miri2008 says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 09

    OMG - Oh My Gosh Topic was 'Do opposites attract'.

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  8.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 09

    Miri2008 ; I guess in my last 9/01/09 comment that I was showing through my own personal experience . As you never endured my Journeys thru Life . How the Baptist church in Our neighborhood , Openly showed me that with all their Expense Electronics Equipment on Display . Which is to me a sign of Greed and Boastfulness . These both being Sins commited by Our Local Church . Yet the frre ride to service they offered / Without monetary donation ended after one Sunday Service for me . I understood that Christain churches were to help those inneed . Oh how wrong my understanding was . When Disability strikes you / I hope your fellow church goers see fit to offer some assistance to you . Mine are as worthless as a 3 dollar bill . That to help the poor in their own region is knot one of their concerns . When I had 85 cents left in my pocket at the end of the month / and the preacher sat next to me after service and said " I noticed that you did not place any money in the collection plate . We have to pay our electric bill . " My thought was in a few days my check would be at the bank so I could afford my electric bill . And after Hurricane Rita in 2005 that I had taped cardboard boxes over 8 windows of my house [ to keep mesquitos out ]. Because Fima had not helped me to repair Damages . The Baptists had not came to ask if I needed help / Their church bus only Once gave me a ride to Sunday service , because I could not afford to pay for a free ride or the entertainment of hearing about how David had slayed Goliah posted on Video Screens around the room filled with 25 people at a Sunday service . In a $ 200,000.00 building that a few years before held over a 100 people on Sundays { Some who I talked to had moved to other churches because they did not agree with the Greed openly displayed at this one ] Never fear with almost three years of calling the gov't aid individuals / they saw fit to grant me a 20 year small interest loan . And I was able to repair with a New roof and house leveling the summer after my New wife had came to live with me . We even got new windows to keep out the Weather . Hehe . Point being I think Oh My God written as OMG is a disrespectful way to talk about Our Lord God as a mature person . Please allow me to put it to a pole with the responses of other christians on this site . WOULD YOU OPENLY IN YOUR SUNDAY SERVICE STAND UP AND SAY THIS .

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  9.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 09

    Fact is I interpret Life as a liberal minded person / Just showing how Differences in Opinion about the Experiences in years of My Personal Life were the Same as all others . Yet viewed in my own Personal way and have formed me with " Honesty , Respect for all others and Trusted by those that know me . These are My Qualities of what I call an Abundantly Happy Life . Yet , I have experienced all of the same Hardships as others . Thank you , Miri2008 ; for your respect of My Right to an Opinion . Is knot Personal Happenings what forms Opinions and daily life ? Never fear at another Blog topic / I became Classified as " Senile " . Yet God in his judgement saw fit to allow Me an early Retirement . Regardless of others opinions about Me . I view those opinions as Jealousy of them that do knot personally know me and the Journey of an Honest mans life . In his own way God saw that through my Personal work effort that I was Deserving of time to Rest . When he gave me a Massive Heart Attack at the age of 52 . Due to my bad eating habits . While going through the Stress of Burying my Father / who died a Pauper . May God bless him in his resting place . Cliches as Stereotypes are Abundant in Life and I have heard many / yet agree with few . Do You Thank God for every meal ? When you grab a meal at a Drivethru Eatery . Or just follow through when another prays openly . Yesterday ; When I started moving old bridge timbers from the road to Our Western end of house inorder to build a Deck from them . I worked alone from Daybreak till schoolbus time in afternoon / Steady , no lunchbreak , afternoon nap or Loud music . The neighbor Ladie came with her boyfriend - 42 YO , oldest son - 23 YO and while loading a trailer with these treated timbers for them to build a New Bedroom Floor/ Deck on their mobilehome . Her son said to me " You sure have plenty of Energy left in this heat after working all day / We find it hard to keep up with you " This statement from a young man / made my day . My question to you is what is OMG ? And I hope that I have been able to answer your question . Hockey has never been a sport that I enjoyed watching / Too much violence trying to harm others constantly . What the Heck did I say that upset you ? I spoke the truth as it came to me in Personal life .

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  10.   Miri2008 says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 09

    REALLY Homesteader, what the 'h' 'e' double hockey sticks IS your last 9/1/09 comment about? I respect your 'mature person' right to post, but OMG!

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  11.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 09

    " He who Hesitates is Lost " been told over My Lifetime . We Thank God for every Meal / Together . Yet the Church in Our Community rejected Me when they brought Me to service [ Prior to Our meeting ] at the end of the month and I did knot put my Last 85 cents in the plate to pay their high electric bills / With all their Boastful Equipment on Display . Our Baptist Church has Allowed Government aid relief workers to use their Parking lot to Disperse Emergency ; Food and Water , when Hurricanes destory peoples houses . Yet none of these Church members go out to help Repair Roofs on the many damaged homes / unless they are Their own . People expect God to do for them / when Disaster strikes . Alas God taught Us to do it for Ourselves . Take the time to seek and Yee shall find / Priorities are important only for those that spend the time to Accomplish them . Ask ; Ria , Nevada has always been a place for the Luck of the Draw .

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  12.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 09

    Opposite in many ways ; Male and Female , Dark and White Chocolate and CITYGIRL MOVED TO LIVE LIFE WITH CountryMan . Nothing in Life will Last any longer than the Honest Effort placed on a Relationship being Possitive by Each . It still takes Two people to Waltz or Jitterbug . My Opinions are different from others as are Hers alas they were True enough from over a thousand miles apart in the Beginning to Enable Us with Mutual feelings To finally find a Lifelong Partner here for Each of Us . Tomorrow Shall always be the start of a New day .

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  13.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 09

    In life one only Reaps that which they have Sown / We were serious and now well on the way through Our third year Together .

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  14.   Enigma64 says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 09

    How can you take the time to get to know someone, and in that time, you discover that the majority of characteristics or preferences between you are completely different, then say you are still attracted. Naw. I don't see that as realistic. Let's face it. When opposites attract, usually it's a lust thing, which speaks volumes as to why it will not last long. Peace & blessings.

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  15.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 09

    I think it depends upon a person regarding what he/she beliefs

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  16.   Shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 09

    Do opposites really attract? .... Absolutely!!!

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  17.   allikat says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    i think for a serious real relationship to work you must have a certain number of things in common... or at least be willing to give and compromise a little on some things...but some differences are okay.

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  18.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 16 Jul 09

    Study ; Just a bunch of numbers / Life is Being Together 24/7 . Growing New Ideas everyday /Prosper due to Working in Love . Believe and Enjoy as all things Start in the Beginning . Nothing Ventured - nothing Gained . Us

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  19.   rarestgold says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    Opposites attract like a match to dynamite and in a short while all you have is ash. You need common interest because once you have gotten past the initial physical attraction you have to have somewhere to go from there. If you have nothing in common, then it just seems like you're just talking about "you". How boring is that?

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  20.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 09

    Congrats Homesteader! I'm wondering why too many people are not interesed in blogging on this topic...

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  21.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 09

    I do know that when I am dating I look for a woman who is total opposite of me: She must be black, intelligent, ambitious, compassionate, sincere, honest, motherly, rich, active, healthy, family based, loves children, ...... Dayum... thats means I'm ...white, ignorant, lazy, apathetic, (insert antonym for sincere here - besides unsincere), crooked, fatherly (hey a positive), poor, inactive, sickly, loner, despises lil creatures ................. Ok...let me get back to you on this one!!!

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  22.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 09

    27 months and counting /

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  23.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 09

    I think people are most comfortable when they feel both understood and accepted. When two people share the same type of communication style and similar enough personalities, they feel more understood by each other and can form a deeper bond. If people feel constantly misunderstood, and are constantly frustrated in communication, distance will develop, and they will grow apart. People with similar personalities would tend to more correctly interpret each others' actions and words, so they experience less frustration and more understanding in communication. I think this is why people with similar personalities can get along better. I think the greatest relationships occur with people who have similar personalities, but come from different backgrounds and have different interests. Their ability to understand each other gives them comfort, while their diversified backgrounds and interests can provide a constant source of variety and excitement for the relationship.

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