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End her bedroom acting career thusly

Posted by Ria, 20 Nov

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A lot of men just barely miss the mark.

Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First.

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Most women don’t want to thrash their men’s egos and that is why we fake it – not because we are trying to perfect our acting skills for some Hollywood career in future. Lucky enough, this acting career can be put to an end by making small changes, which trust me, can push a woman over the aaahhh! - edge. Kerner, in his book, stresses the importance of the first few touches when it comes to pleasing her, and how the perfect first touch can dictate how the rest of the oral sex session goes.

Well here are some moves that can do the trick:

Have her sit facing away from you with her back against your chest. Now, reach around her and let your fingers do the walking between her legs; up-and-down, side-to-side and some figure-8 moves. The beauty about this position is that it’s easy to maintain and it also enhances intimacy while making her relaxed. Plus your free hand can do the walking all over her body.

Now, who said being creative with the tongue earns you marks? Hold your tongue steady. When a man is going down on us, most women need a consistent, repetitive motion to get there. When experimenting, you can have your tongue run through all the alphabets and punctuation marks but when to get to one she prefers the most, stick with it to bring her to O. And remember, that first kiss atop her vulva is often the most exquisite of all possible kisses and can literally take her breath away. Work on your entrance kiss. Approach it like you are taking the first sip of the most expensive wine you have been saving for that special occasion.

Don’t ask her what she likes. Instead ask her simple yes-or-no questions like ‘does this feel good’? Let her feel it and not think about it. Kerner says, “To climax, a woman has to be able to relax and let go. Asking complicated questions can inhibit the process.”

Slow=Intense. Use thumb and index finger to GENTLY massage her breast (accent on GENTLY. No tweaking allowed) clockwise and then anticlockwise. You could then roll her areola with your palm and finish off with GENTLY pulling and teasing her nipple. These slow intense combination of movements will make her enjoy the experience.

Please! Please! The post-coital touchdown dance only makes a woman feel used and if you weren’t thaaaaat great, you devalue your sexual currency. Instead, make her feel like you felt the connectivity between the two of you. Tell her how you felt … “I have never felt like this before” as opposed to “Damn! I am good.”

Being her best ever takes a few changes which can make a big difference. Plus when you tell her how sexy it is gazing into her eyes or the connection you feel when inside of her, it will add to pushing her over the edge. You are holding the key that will end her acting career. And when she finishes first, YOU WIN!

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19 responses to "End her bedroom acting career thusly"

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  1.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 01 Feb 10

    WOW Could you please email this to every man in the world?

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  2.   Inez01 says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 09

    Don’t ask her what she likes. Instead ask her simple yes-or-no questions like ‘does this feel good’? Let her feel it and not think about it. Kerner says, “To climax, a woman has to be able to relax and let go. Asking complicated questions can inhibit the process.” Lord knows this part gave me flash backs. THANK YOU for posting this because that is my biggest turn off! I don't want to have to think and instruct you, listen and watch my body just like I do yours! That just made me mad for a bit there...lol.

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  3.   Free_n_singl says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 09

    I agree completely with exceltae1. It IS all about communication and now that I've realised that (took me a few years I must admit), sex is my second favourite pastime!! I would also add that it is very important that the guy cares about you otherwise you telling him what you seems to land on deaf ears as he trys to find the quickest route back to him (usually fast hard sex with minimal foreplay - why I no longer do one night stands). When he loves you, he really does want to please you and will do anythign to do so - including going down there. I spent years (a) not having orgasms with a man and (b) not liking a guy to go down on me cus it was like the washing machine effect, too quick and brisk and not enough sensuality. Till I met my last two boyfriends and realised that there wasnt nothing wrong with me, its just that I had been unsure what worked for me (only what didnt) and because I was in true reciprocated love and so my boyfriend really enjoyed making me have an orgasm and would keep going at a soft maintained pressure until until I came s I didnnt feel rushed or pressure to perform / pretend. Now with new guys, I have NOOO problem with saying "yeah, i love it like this....". Because I do!

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  4.   southernmoca says:
    Posted: 22 Apr 09

    I take offense to Islandlife01 words. The male ego is very frail in this regard and unfortunately the need to nurture our men even while on our back is unfortunately a lesson we women have learned is the best way to go through life if we want sex on a regular basis. If we want to keep our men happy. How many woman have heard from men who were given honest feedback," there's something wrong with her-not me, she's the only one I've had that didn't (cum)" or that the woman must be (broken) if he didn't make her see the heavens. If truth is to be given, the reception of it must be mature and taken as helpful feedback for future lovemaking. Honesty is there for the taken as long as honest is accepted to begin with.

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  5.   ARTISTFORLIFE says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 09

    I COULD CARE LESS IF I CLIMAX AT ALL BECAUSE I GET MORE SATISFACTION FROM MAKING PARTNER SATISFIED.THERE IS NOTHING LIKE WATCHING A WOMAN HAVE AN ORGASM.

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  6.   blue1 says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 09

    Salsera77 as a man I have had all kinds of experiences and your method of informing me of what I should add has been the most effective for me. I have learned to like many different things when the woman told me she liked that. Maybe I do have a fragile ego, but if she lets me know what she wants it is better for both of us. Men want the woman to have a response and faking it can often be seen through.

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  7.   salsera77 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 09

    Addendum: One communicative approach that may not risk hurt feelings is that you can tell your partner what he (or she for that matter) is doing that you like (add praise) and then gently tell him/her what's not working for you right now---remember to add what you want your partner to do instead.

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  8.   salsera77 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 09

    Sure, of course, there can be communication outside of the bedroom but also I'm sure men can agree with me on this that the ego can be a bit fragile and that if possible, some soft-touch coaching with sexy sounds/breathy hints prompting him in the right direction are softer on his ear and may be a good teaching method. There's nothing wrong with both approaches if they're done/spoken in the right way. I'm just saying that I'm sure a man wouldn't want a verbal lecture on how to stimulate his SO's body thus making him feel embarrassed and incompetent.

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  9.   Maridoe says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 09

    May I be blunt? Thank you, I just want to laugh my butt off whenever this topic comes up. If you reduce your love making to the realm of a soundstage, how will your lover ever learn to please you? Shouldn't it be time to schedule more "talk" time with the S.O.? Just my humble opinion!

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  10.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 08

    i do love this topic and i tend to think that not all women act in the bedroom..its upon an individual to just let go and enjoy sexual intimacy...

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  11.   elva says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 08

    **********Welcome to------www.Mixedloving.com------the first, largest and most-trusted interracial dating site in the world. This is the best place for looking for interracial dating relationship or marriage. We bring together interracial-dating minded singles from all races, ethnicities and cultures, whether they are in your own neighborhood or around the world.

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  12.   IslandLife01 says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 08

    Isn't it ironic that most women that I have talked with state that honesty and trust are major requirements in a relationship, and yet they lie/fake orgasms? I can see where the honesty and trust DOESN'T start! LOL...

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  13.   BeReal4me says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 08

    Thank you exceltae1 for those comments. They are making me smile right now. Thanks to the other comments for the book and author. I didn't realize there was such a book. I am at the point in my life that I don't need to totally teach someone how to, but I know I do need to teach someone how to do ME!!! So many men think that what they do for one, all will enjoy. NOT ME! Anyway, thanks again!

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  14.   exceltae1 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 08

    Whurr - hey man, if that is what you are into, then go for it....LOL.

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  15.   whurr says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 08

    One day I will have a woman all to my own..and I will hug her and squeeze her and kiss her and call her George

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  16.   exceltae1 says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 08

    Women who act, in regards to bedroom activities, do themselves a major disservice... especially to guy who truly cares about them and wants to please them. Unless I am too many generations removed, most guys feel like more of a man when they have truly pleasured and satisfied their partner. Even if it requires some direction from their partner, informed and caring guys will take the time to learn and explore their partner, especially since all women are different. I have always found this to be a very sensual thing.... since I find a woman's body to be oh-so-sexy. I like running my hands over my partner's body and exploring all the contours and texture of what, whether created by nature or God, is perfectly sexy. This also makes it easier for other things that follow, to come easier... lol. I also think it is much more connecting for a women to teach her man about what she likes.... not just have an attitude that a guy should automatically know. Like I said, all women are different.... and, atleast for me, part of the fun is discovering those differences. Maybe the first one of the night is just by me using my hands and fingers... to watch my woman reach ecstasy... before working my way down with my mouth and tongue, to continue with what my woman desires. Funny thing is, not all women like oral.... my ex from my last serious relationship didn't like me going anywhere near there with my mouth or tongue.... no matter how much I wanted to. To me, this is all part of the intimacy of love-making. This also means that I let myself go and share myself, beyond the mechanics of the act, with my partner. I believe, the one underlying issue to this is really.... communication. That you are relaying to your partner what you want. Maybe after time, you can read each others' minds a bit... but until, vocalizing what you want seems to generate the best results. As a hint to the ladies.... most guys are simple creatures... we want to provide you what you want, as long as you can tell us what it is. Make us guess and we both will probably end up confused and frustrated. Remember, 'We have not, because we ask not.' As for a victory dance... I have never needed any of those.... just my baby falling asleep with her head on my chest, and to see a smile on her face when see awakes.

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  17.   Macknificent says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 08

    I also read Dr. Kerner's book and enjoyed it immensely. In fact, I recommend it on my website and have an Amazon link to it because I think cunnilingus is one of the most important things for a man to learn. I suggest to all readers that they become expert at focusing on pleasuring a woman first because she will reciprocate your gentlemanly attitude and do her best to make your experience just as memorable for you. Another point to note is that once you get her to bust one hard, like she never has before, you'll know from that point forward if she is ever "acting". Let her know that it's only good for you when it's good for her. Lovemaking is not a destination ... it is a journey. Learn to enjoy licking that sugar bowl and you'll find more woman wanting to travel with you.

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  18.   Irishguy1983 says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 08

    Ok I thought doing the alpabet down there was the best way...damn I hope my woman isnt acting! I am definetly going to study al of this!

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  19.   salsera77 says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 08

    I read that book "She Comes First" and think that if any man really really loves his woman he'd do her and himself a favor by reading and applying what he can of the principles in the book. Many women fake it because they are afraid of hurting the man's ego but are thwarting themselves in the process and that's not helping the situation. To make things worse when a woman does not fake it and hints to a man for the 2nd or 3rd time (as she ie. moves his hand in another place) "Hmmmm, Honey that's working",...some men need to NOT cop an attitude. I mean, if you say to her "Do you come with an instruction book" or "I know, I know what to do already you don't have to show me". You're copping a 'tude and shutting her down. Work with her and learn her. Oh and porn movies will not teach you about how a woman works. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, right? Right? Anyway, I really like Ian Kerner's detailed explanations and think that they'd apply to many women however there are always exceptions with regards to the movements on those intimate spots in that it's different for every woman. He does do a good job of covering a whole variety of techniques. I'm paraphrasing here but I like Kerner's imagery of the fact that women love OUTERCOURSE and if only men could understand this and that the penis is like a big magic marker but she really needs a fine pen (on the outside). It's detailed but I think what a guy would gain from it and get back if he applied it would be tenfold. Just my ten cents, Ria. P.S. Yes, guys, I'm reading "He Comes Second," by Ian Kerner....but right now we're talking about women.

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